Videos

Since we’re off this week, we figured it was the perfect time to revisit one of the dumbest things this show has ever done: reading viral BookTok smut novels out loud like emotionally damaged audiobook actors.  What started as “this should be funny” immediately turned into phrases like “wet slabs,” “intimate muscles,” and multiple conversations nobody wanted to have about fingers in asses. Also, somebody needs to explain why these books all have cute Disney Channel covers while hiding absolute psychological warfare inside.  If you missed this disaster the first time, congratulations. Your suffering starts now. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast. Listen here or Check out the FREE video on Youtube Probably don’t play it near children. Or church people. 👕 Your wardrobe looks weak and emotionally unsupported. Fix it. Grab the gear before Ian spends the merch budget on another pointless hobby: https://www.nottds.com/store/ 📩 Got a confession that would ruin Thanksgiving dinner ins…

This episode of Not That Damn Show somehow starts with dead bodies getting goosebumps and ends with a grown man explaining why he refuses to eat “BBL ass” like he’s delivering a TED Talk from a gas station parking lot. The gang falls down rabbit holes involving church fights, giraffes tasting piss, Pornhub page 448, HOA snitches losing their minds over Govee lights, and a law student secretly filming people in a bathroom because apparently society is hanging together with duct tape and and toothpicks from Dollar Tree. Then things completely collapse during Digital Dump with a dude yelling “hemo-sacial,” a fake vodka prank involving a dildo, and one of the creepiest cat-feeding videos ever uploaded to the internet. The making of a serial killer. Somewhere in the middle of all this, Stroke prepares for graduation while everyone else questions whether humanity should even continue unsupervised. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕 Your friends are annoying. Your coworke…

This week starts with Mikey accidentally turning NOT TDS into Pornhub Lite after trying to monetize the website and immediately getting greeted by a giant vagina and a “girl 3 miles away wants to fuck” popup. Stroke’s getting his master’s degree while simultaneously questioning whether touring Thomas Jefferson’s slave mansion makes him racist by association. Jenn gets “higher than giraffe pussy” off a Mother’s Day gummy while watching Sally Field movies, and Ian nearly declares war on a couple camping in his restaurant booth for four hours over a few PBRs and six-dollar tip money. Then somehow the show spirals into awkward human interactions, slime-covered birthday disasters, getting hit by cars, and a full James Brown-style diss track called “Punk Ass Bitch” aimed directly at Ian’s couch mic and personality. Humanity may be cooked, but at least you’re not the guy accidentally running porn ads on a comedy podcast website. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 This e…

Look, if you came here for a healthy, emotionally mature show, you absolutely clicked the wrong thing. We start with breaking “news” about Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide note like Mikey is CNN, then immediately derail into roasting Ian’s $20 couch mic until he straight-up disappears from the show like a pissed-off lesbian Bigfoot. From there it somehow turns into dragonflies jetting water out of their asses, and a very real discussion on how your partner’s nut allergy can actually kill them via, uh… extracurricular activities. We get voicemails about poop semantics, hair-based crime strategies, and confessions about whether body shots count as cheating if your junk is “in the zip code,” and then wrap it all in Florida stories featuring church bathroom creepers, coked-up fire chiefs, and a guy stealing a car just to drive it to the cops. Also, someone confesses they have a huge crush on Jenn while she murders a spider live on camera, because of course she does. Welcome to Americ…

Every single time dolphins come up… this is where the conversation ends up 🐬 New episodes of Not That Damn Show drop every Tuesday and Thursday on all podcast platforms. #podcastclips #darkhumor #funnyclip #NTDS #notthatdamnshow

The show finally has ads, which means some poor brand may now be sponsoring a conversation about balloon fetishes, dolphin crimes, and whether being “shark-fucking rich” is the financial danger zone. Mikey’s trying to sell everyone on the uncensored Patreon while also trying to get Stroke a new liver and maybe a sponsorship from those “we totally prevent hangovers, we swear” pregame shots. Jenn gets everybody caught up on Spirit Airlines collapsing, a cartoonishly large cocaine bust, and a cruise ship virus that sounds like it came from rodent piss hell. Then “Rick In The Law” Shows up to explain contracts, viral videos, refund policies, stolen business ideas, class actions, jury duty, and why Ian should never be anyone’s lawyer unless the goal is prison with extra steps. Somehow Nickelback, Barney Spanish, Papa John’s wax face and racist pizza, and for some reason butthole mechanics make it into the official record. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕 If you wa…

Stroke has a liver appointment coming up, so naturally the show turns into a practice psychological evaluation led by people who should not be allowed near medical paperwork. Somehow that becomes a ride through deer murders, polar bear liver poison, gerbil erection math, Bob Ross hair fraud, and whether $100 million is worth being hunted forever by a death snail. Then the Dammits bring problems involving blackout best friends trying to kiss boyfriends and landlords knocking at 9 p.m. like every true crime podcast warning sign learned to text. By the end, there’s Costco violence, Dollar General robberies, credit card scams, ghost tapping, and the phrase “ghost dick,” because society had a good run and now this is where we are. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 Win tickets to see Arnie States Live at The boardwalk May 23rd - https://urli.info/1u14G 👕 If you like hearing about polar bear livers and Stroke’s black-market organ journey, the least you can d…

Jenn shows up half-poisoned by Popeyes and somehow that just turns into a full forensic breakdown of every fried chicken chain from KFC to shady gas station Dodges where dudes threaten to “shoot your ass” on the phone next to the heat lamp drumsticks. Stroke gives a real update on his liver situation, which somehow turns into merch ideas, Stroke Aid, fake proposals for free dessert, and whether he should wear his graduation gown for six months.  There’s also a cocaine-covered karaoke woman, a clothespin fetish mystery, kids running into traffic, nukes, dogs dying, and a surprisingly long investigation into when men are allowed to cry.  Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 Go here to win Arnie States Tickets https://rb.gy/799rqn  Vote for Ian https://shorturl.at/Jbz9Z  👕 If you want to financially enable this chaos, go buy some stupidly good merch and pretend it’s “charity.” https://www.nottds.com/store/ 📩 Got a secret that would get you divorced, fired, or exco…

Ian’s gone, Jen’s digging chicken out of her teeth, and somehow that is still not the weirdest thing that happens here. Stroke opens up about serious liver issues, Mayo Clinic testing, and the kind of stress that makes everybody shut up for five whole seconds. Naturally the show copes with that information by writing a song about him getting a black man’s liver and becoming better at basketball. From there it gets right back to being deeply stupid in the most professional way possible, with dating app confessions, a possible Sacramento little person hooker investigation, Florida maniacs, pubes getting thrown at a sleeping woman on a train, and a grandma screaming about a room that smells like c*m. It’s supportive, reckless, gross, and somehow heartfelt, which is basically the only way this show knows how to function. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕Buy some merch, support the circus, and put money into this terrible decision-making machine. https://w…

This week the show gets told it’s popular enough to monetize but apparently too dangerous to trust with ad money, which honestly feels pretty on-brand. From there it somehow turns into random listeners asking the cast for cash like everybody’s secretly sitting on drug money. Then the comments roll in, Stroke finally addresses the panic about his future on the show, and Jen brings in news that includes train wrecks, Lego theft with pasta decoys, and a protest movement called Operation Dildo Blitz because civilization has clearly stopped trying. By the end, they’re giving life advice to people with terrible relationship problems and playing Craigslist games no one should ever win. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕 Go buy a shirt before some random asshole asks one of us to buy it for them. The damn store is right here: https://www.nottds.com/store/ 📩 Got problems, bad decisions, or something sick and embarrassing rattling around in your skull? S…

We start off with the show shamelessly celebrating its top 3% status, which of course immediately turns into mocking radio hype, trying to decode whatever dumb TikTok slang “you the birthday” is, and somehow sliding straight into childhood trauma and stepdad roll call. Then Florida shows up like it always does, with a doctor yanking the wrong organ out of a guy, a drunk idiot throwing beer bottles at a three-year-old, and a minivan pervert calmly explaining he jerks off in traffic because he “gets horny sometimes.” Right when that already feels broken enough, the show gets live breaking news that Stockton Boulevard’s alleged tiny street legend Tay Money just requested into the private group, and naturally that goes exactly where you think it does. After that it’s dumb product roulette, confessions about everything from metalcore prayer pits to cuck behavior and military kills, then a Digital Dump full of titty boxing and a bat fight in a suspiciously nice neighborhood. By …

Everyone’s back, Jenn’s slightly less white, Stroke’s slightly less emotionally stable, and we’re somehow “America’s most gun-friendly show”! We go from Garth Brooks being a “fucking murderer” to arguing whether you’d rather get teabagged on life support or hammered in the skull, which is exactly the kind of ethical debate this show is built for.  There’s an update on the school board creep telling a student “God, you’re hot” on camera, a FEMA dude who swears he teleported into a Waffle House, and a Pennsylvania genius who blew himself up with a homemade pipe bomb “to entertain guests” that never came.  We’ve got a couple original songs like “Fuck You Jerry” and “Stroke and the Transformers,”.  We also take some time to ruin the lives of our Facebook followers by raining on their pathetic parades, including a girl living in a shed and a guy who thinks eating one meal a day is a personality trait.  Also, somebody put Sprite in ramen on purpose and Vince could eat corn on…

Welcome back to America’s Loudest Podcast, where we open the show literally waving guns around on camera and somehow that’s not even the most unhinged part of the hour.  We go from “I sleep next to a gun on the couch just in case” to debating poop knives like they’re a legitimate household tool.  Somewhere between declaring ourselves America’s fattest podcast, talking about poop particles on your toothbrush, and deciding whether having sex with a blow-up doll of yourself is “gay” or “gay as fuck,”… Then we slide into Florida-or-Not madness: school board creeps calling underage girls “hot,” arson over macaroni and cheese, attic meth goblins falling through ceilings, and a McDonald’s cookie heist on Easter because of course it was.  Ian drops his very biased Top 10 Power Ballads list and the digital dump serves up planes hitting cars, Walmart brawls, jet ski stupidity, and a stoned idiot driving with a traffic light stuck to his car.  Welcome to America’s F…

2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable.  Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be a shirt, then got distracted by our AI-generated thumbnail making Mikey the star and branding Jen as “100% whiting.”  Easter somehow turned into resurrection-weekend hooker arrests, zombie Jesus radio trouble, Elvis pube collections at Ripley’s, and whether Marilyn Monroe’s bush would need lamination.  Then we slid straight into voicemails and comments about Monster Mash maybe being an orgy, Medusa’s snake bush, dogs getting stuck during sex, substitute teachers getting wrecked by teenagers, stripper tipping economics, and whether it’s gay to rail a blow-up doll of yourself…

We made it to episode 83 and somehow you freaks are still here, which honestly raises more questions about your childhood than ours.  We start off realizing half this show is about dicks and meat curtains, and the other half is us yelling at you to stop crying about six bucks for uncensored video while you’re out there raw-dogging Starbucks like it’s oxygen.  Jenn’s planning an all‑inclusive Mexico trip, finds out via DNA test that she is weapon‑grade white, and immediately gets demoted to “Whitey”. We rip on another podcasts host and his extremely shiny head, talk about meteors blowing up over Cleveland, middle schoolers stabbing people, kids wrecking cars and hiding air fryer parts, oh and old ladies in Depends still getting moist with a little help from everyones friend, lube We’ve also got your demented comments, damn problems about deepfake porn, and wrap it all up with a game of “Bass Akwards Songs” to help wipe your brain clean of everything you just heard.  Welc…

Apparently if we miss one Thursday, some guy named Rob turns into the Patreon hall monitor and writes a breakup letter because “life” getting in the way is just an excuse… so naturally the show vaporizes him.  Ian decides single people at four‑tops should tip 30%, admits he doesn’t tip bartenders for just opening a beer, and the whole show spends 20 minutes explaining to him that he’s the problem, not the customer.  Somewhere in there you learn about koala chlamydia, slutty ladybugs, gay orcas, Alaskan pee‑frogs, and a worm that might already be living in your eyeball.  And just when your brain is melting, the confessions show up with lunch‑break sock masturbation and “why am I always gay in my dreams,” plus Rick the lawyer trying to give real legal advice in the middle of all this filth.  Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕 If you want to financially enable this chaos, go grab the new hat and whatever shirt we eventually remember to design before the month ends. H…

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps. Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealign with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry. Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho that tried to date him, which turns into a whole “trust your gut or get dismembered” therapy circle. After that, it’s comments about band geek sex, rave goggles, bidet-peri-bottles, and straw goblins, plus “fake and gay” getting promoted into a full-blown Strokeified song. WTF News (ant trafficking, failed murder road trip, and a father–son sperm dynasty), then rolls into damn problems and Digital Dump clips with bad cops, worse drivers, and tiny kids in a toy car with way too much milk…

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps.  Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry.  Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho that tried to date him, which turns into a whole “trust your gut or get dismembered” therapy circle.  After that, it’s comments about band geek sex, rave goggles, bidet-peri-bottles, and straw goblins, plus “fake and gay” getting promoted into a full-blown Strokeified song.  WTF News (ant trafficking, failed murder road trip, and a father–son sperm dynasty), then rolls into damn problems and Digital Dump clips with bad cops, worse drivers, and tiny kids in a toy car with way too much…

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps.  Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry.  Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho that tried to date him, which turns into a whole “trust your gut or get dismembered” therapy circle.  After that, it’s comments about band geek sex, rave goggles, bidet-peri-bottles, and straw goblins, plus “fake and gay” getting promoted into a full-blown Strokeified song.  WTF News (ant trafficking, failed murder road trip, and a father–son sperm dynasty), then rolls into damn problems and Digital Dump clips with bad cops, worse drivers, and tiny kids in a toy car with way too much…

Welcome back to the only show that will teach you about a caterpillar that pretends to be bird shit and then pivot straight into why Texas has 581 Dairy Queens and still can’t flip a Blizzard right.  We roast Rob’s new disaster, question how many felonies are happening on his livestream, and then somehow end up workshopping slogans for a sperm-themed T-shirt … because apparently “get happy, swallow a nut” needs branding help.  There’s a deep-sea whore fish with multiple ball-sack boyfriends, a debate over whether North Korean soldiers would stop fighting if they discovered Pornhub, and a listener confession about fisting his girlfriend until she couldn’t walk right for two days.  By the time we get to Florida Man stealing a septic tank with a Corolla, a cop hiding his HIV status, and the dumbest “Dirty Minds” game known to man, your IQ will be lower but your mood will be better.  Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸  👕  If you’ve listened this far, you clearly make …

Welcome back to the only show where “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” is both a catchphrase and a customer service policy. Last week Jenn yelled at her dogs and some weirdo in New York reported the video like it was a war crime. Somehow that spirals into arguments about sharing deodorant, stealing food off someone’s plate, toothbrush boundaries, fart strategy, and whether watching a show without your partner is basically cheating. Then the show goes exactly where it should: midget hooker interviews, a cartoonized “shut the f*ck up,” a kid beating the hell out of his abusive dad, and a travel influencer teaching people how to turn a hotel coffee maker into an underwear laundromat from hell. Ian rolls in with a karaoke capsule machine and enough weird junk to start a museum for divorced mall nerds. By the end somebody gets folded in a wrestling ring, somebody gets cracked with a bottle over ranch dressing, and Jenn once again proves her internet comment section is a crime scene. Wel…

Every once in a while the news reminds you that the average adult human probably shouldn’t be trusted with car keys, children, or access to a Target self-checkout machine. This show is basically a full hour of that realization happening in real time.  We get into a criminal mastermind who stole trading cards by scanning taco seasoning packets, a toddler somehow drinking meth out of a sippy cup, and a guy who managed to get arrested during his own driver’s license test while the instructor was sitting right next to him. Somewhere along the way the conversation veers into ancestry DNA tests, sleep apnea, and pizza hatred.  We also read listener confessions and another round of “I Wish I Didn’t Know That,” which proves once again the internet contains information no human brain ever needed. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 Buy the damn merch or don’t. Either way it’s here: https://www.nottds.com/store/ Got something shady, embarrassing, or straight-up illegal …

We started by leaving the pre-show nonsense in on purpose for the DPs, which means the episode opens like a live document of everybody being sick, annoyed, and already talking too much.  Then somehow we go from AI slop and robot comment wars to giving away Steak and a Blow Job Day prizes before bringing on Morgan (the dead body finder), who casually explains that her dog can find a single drop of blood and that hiding a body is apparently a terrible retirement plan.  From there it turns into voicemails, listener comments, a truly broken conversation about dog breeding that should probably be sealed by a court, and a run through news stories involving a serial plane stowaway, animal-roleplaying teens, Vatican AI demon paranoia, and a cop dumb enough to incriminate himself with his own phone habits.  The show wraps with family drama, creepy moms in Instagram comments, and yet another criminal dating game disaster that ends exactly how it should.  Welcome to Ameri…

The episode opens with the crew already fired up after discovering another podcast trying to ride their coattails. From there the conversation goes exactly where you’d expect: nowhere responsible.  Jenn's back after her daughter took gold at softball, which is not what we told you people, but here we are. What followed was two-plus hours of the kind of shit that only happens when nobody's in control, a woman who ghosted her entire family for 25 years over a DUI, Stroke confusing the living hell out of an OnStar operator while barely forming sentences, a Chinese "kissing device" that no one on this planet is using for kissing, and a confession segment that somehow ended up at necrophilia before we even saw it coming. Nobody planned the mummy medicine discussion.  Nobody planned the giant prehistoric beaver tangent. Nobody planned any of this… and that's exactly why you're still here.  Welcome to America's Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕 Grab Our Shit  We made merch specifically desi…