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This week the show gets told it’s popular enough to monetize but apparently too dangerous to trust with ad money, which honestly feels pretty on-brand.From there it somehow turns into random listeners asking the cast for cash like everybody’s secretly sitting on drug money.Then the comments roll in, Stroke finally addresses the panic about his future on the show, and Jen brings in news that includes train wrecks, Lego theft with pasta decoys, and a protest movement called Operation Dildo Blitz because civilization has clearly stopped trying.By the end, they’re giving life advice to people with terrible relationship problems and playing Craigslist games no one should ever win.Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Go buy a shirt before some random asshole asks one of us to buy it for them.The damn store is right here: https://www.nottds.com/store/📩 Got problems, bad decisions, or something sick and embarrassing rattling around in your skull? S…

We start off with the show shamelessly celebrating its top 3% status, which of course immediately turns into mocking radio hype, trying to decode whatever dumb TikTok slang “you the birthday” is, and somehow sliding straight into childhood trauma and stepdad roll call.Then Florida shows up like it always does, with a doctor yanking the wrong organ out of a guy, a drunk idiot throwing beer bottles at a three-year-old, and a minivan pervert calmly explaining he jerks off in traffic because he “gets horny sometimes.”Right when that already feels broken enough, the show gets live breaking news that Stockton Boulevard’s alleged tiny street legend Tay Money just requested into the private group, and naturally that goes exactly where you think it does.After that it’s dumb product roulette, confessions about everything from metalcore prayer pits to cuck behavior and military kills, then a Digital Dump full of titty boxing and a bat fight in a suspiciously nice neighborhood.By …

Everyone’s back, Jenn’s slightly less white, Stroke’s slightly less emotionally stable, and we’re somehow “America’s most gun-friendly show”!We go from Garth Brooks being a “fucking murderer” to arguing whether you’d rather get teabagged on life support or hammered in the skull, which is exactly the kind of ethical debate this show is built for. There’s an update on the school board creep telling a student “God, you’re hot” on camera, a FEMA dude who swears he teleported into a Waffle House, and a Pennsylvania genius who blew himself up with a homemade pipe bomb “to entertain guests” that never came. We’ve got a couple original songs like “Fuck You Jerry” and “Stroke and the Transformers,”. We also take some time to ruin the lives of our Facebook followers by raining on their pathetic parades, including a girl living in a shed and a guy who thinks eating one meal a day is a personality trait. Also, somebody put Sprite in ramen on purpose and Vince could eat corn on…

Welcome back to America’s Loudest Podcast, where we open the show literally waving guns around on camera and somehow that’s not even the most unhinged part of the hour. We go from “I sleep next to a gun on the couch just in case” to debating poop knives like they’re a legitimate household tool. Somewhere between declaring ourselves America’s fattest podcast, talking about poop particles on your toothbrush, and deciding whether having sex with a blow-up doll of yourself is “gay” or “gay as fuck,”…Then we slide into Florida-or-Not madness: school board creeps calling underage girls “hot,” arson over macaroni and cheese, attic meth goblins falling through ceilings, and a McDonald’s cookie heist on Easter because of course it was. Ian drops his very biased Top 10 Power Ballads list and the digital dump serves up planes hitting cars, Walmart brawls, jet ski stupidity, and a stoned idiot driving with a traffic light stuck to his car. Welcome to America’s F…

2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable. Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be a shirt, then got distracted by our AI-generated thumbnail making Mikey the star and branding Jen as “100% whiting.” Easter somehow turned into resurrection-weekend hooker arrests, zombie Jesus radio trouble, Elvis pube collections at Ripley’s, and whether Marilyn Monroe’s bush would need lamination. Then we slid straight into voicemails and comments about Monster Mash maybe being an orgy, Medusa’s snake bush, dogs getting stuck during sex, substitute teachers getting wrecked by teenagers, stripper tipping economics, and whether it’s gay to rail a blow-up doll of yourself…

We made it to episode 83 and somehow you freaks are still here, which honestly raises more questions about your childhood than ours. We start off realizing half this show is about dicks and meat curtains, and the other half is us yelling at you to stop crying about six bucks for uncensored video while you’re out there raw-dogging Starbucks like it’s oxygen. Jenn’s planning an all‑inclusive Mexico trip, finds out via DNA test that she is weapon‑grade white, and immediately gets demoted to “Whitey”.We rip on another podcasts host and his extremely shiny head, talk about meteors blowing up over Cleveland, middle schoolers stabbing people, kids wrecking cars and hiding air fryer parts, oh and old ladies in Depends still getting moist with a little help from everyones friend, lubeWe’ve also got your demented comments, damn problems about deepfake porn, and wrap it all up with a game of “Bass Akwards Songs” to help wipe your brain clean of everything you just heard. Welc…

Apparently if we miss one Thursday, some guy named Rob turns into the Patreon hall monitor and writes a breakup letter because “life” getting in the way is just an excuse… so naturally the show vaporizes him. Ian decides single people at four‑tops should tip 30%, admits he doesn’t tip bartenders for just opening a beer, and the whole show spends 20 minutes explaining to him that he’s the problem, not the customer. Somewhere in there you learn about koala chlamydia, slutty ladybugs, gay orcas, Alaskan pee‑frogs, and a worm that might already be living in your eyeball. And just when your brain is melting, the confessions show up with lunch‑break sock masturbation and “why am I always gay in my dreams,” plus Rick the lawyer trying to give real legal advice in the middle of all this filth. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 If you want to financially enable this chaos, go grab the new hat and whatever shirt we eventually remember to design before the month ends. H…

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps. Video is paywalled, Audio is freeStroke’s dealign with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry. Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho that tried to date him, which turns into a whole “trust your gut or get dismembered” therapy circle. After that, it’s comments about band geek sex, rave goggles, bidet-peri-bottles, and straw goblins, plus “fake and gay” getting promoted into a full-blown Strokeified song. WTF News (ant trafficking, failed murder road trip, and a father–son sperm dynasty), then rolls into damn problems and Digital Dump clips with bad cops, worse drivers, and tiny kids in a toy car with way too much milk…

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps. Video is paywalled, Audio is freeStroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry. Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho that tried to date him, which turns into a whole “trust your gut or get dismembered” therapy circle. After that, it’s comments about band geek sex, rave goggles, bidet-peri-bottles, and straw goblins, plus “fake and gay” getting promoted into a full-blown Strokeified song. WTF News (ant trafficking, failed murder road trip, and a father–son sperm dynasty), then rolls into damn problems and Digital Dump clips with bad cops, worse drivers, and tiny kids in a toy car with way too much…

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps. Video is paywalled, Audio is freeStroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry. Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho that tried to date him, which turns into a whole “trust your gut or get dismembered” therapy circle. After that, it’s comments about band geek sex, rave goggles, bidet-peri-bottles, and straw goblins, plus “fake and gay” getting promoted into a full-blown Strokeified song. WTF News (ant trafficking, failed murder road trip, and a father–son sperm dynasty), then rolls into damn problems and Digital Dump clips with bad cops, worse drivers, and tiny kids in a toy car with way too much…

Welcome back to the only show that will teach you about a caterpillar that pretends to be bird shit and then pivot straight into why Texas has 581 Dairy Queens and still can’t flip a Blizzard right. We roast Rob’s new disaster, question how many felonies are happening on his livestream, and then somehow end up workshopping slogans for a sperm-themed T-shirt … because apparently “get happy, swallow a nut” needs branding help. There’s a deep-sea whore fish with multiple ball-sack boyfriends, a debate over whether North Korean soldiers would stop fighting if they discovered Pornhub, and a listener confession about fisting his girlfriend until she couldn’t walk right for two days. By the time we get to Florida Man stealing a septic tank with a Corolla, a cop hiding his HIV status, and the dumbest “Dirty Minds” game known to man, your IQ will be lower but your mood will be better. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 👕 If you’ve listened this far, you clearly make …

Welcome back to the only show where “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” is both a catchphrase and a customer service policy.Last week Jenn yelled at her dogs and some weirdo in New York reported the video like it was a war crime. Somehow that spirals into arguments about sharing deodorant, stealing food off someone’s plate, toothbrush boundaries, fart strategy, and whether watching a show without your partner is basically cheating.Then the show goes exactly where it should: midget hooker interviews, a cartoonized “shut the f*ck up,” a kid beating the hell out of his abusive dad, and a travel influencer teaching people how to turn a hotel coffee maker into an underwear laundromat from hell.Ian rolls in with a karaoke capsule machine and enough weird junk to start a museum for divorced mall nerds.By the end somebody gets folded in a wrestling ring, somebody gets cracked with a bottle over ranch dressing, and Jenn once again proves her internet comment section is a crime scene.Wel…

Every once in a while the news reminds you that the average adult human probably shouldn’t be trusted with car keys, children, or access to a Target self-checkout machine. This show is basically a full hour of that realization happening in real time. We get into a criminal mastermind who stole trading cards by scanning taco seasoning packets, a toddler somehow drinking meth out of a sippy cup, and a guy who managed to get arrested during his own driver’s license test while the instructor was sitting right next to him. Somewhere along the way the conversation veers into ancestry DNA tests, sleep apnea, and pizza hatred. We also read listener confessions and another round of “I Wish I Didn’t Know That,” which proves once again the internet contains information no human brain ever needed.Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸Buy the damn merch or don’t. Either way it’s here:https://www.nottds.com/store/Got something shady, embarrassing, or straight-up illegal …

We started by leaving the pre-show nonsense in on purpose for the DPs, which means the episode opens like a live document of everybody being sick, annoyed, and already talking too much. Then somehow we go from AI slop and robot comment wars to giving away Steak and a Blow Job Day prizes before bringing on Morgan (the dead body finder), who casually explains that her dog can find a single drop of blood and that hiding a body is apparently a terrible retirement plan. From there it turns into voicemails, listener comments, a truly broken conversation about dog breeding that should probably be sealed by a court, and a run through news stories involving a serial plane stowaway, animal-roleplaying teens, Vatican AI demon paranoia, and a cop dumb enough to incriminate himself with his own phone habits. The show wraps with family drama, creepy moms in Instagram comments, and yet another criminal dating game disaster that ends exactly how it should. Welcome to Ameri…

The episode opens with the crew already fired up after discovering another podcast trying to ride their coattails. From there the conversation goes exactly where you’d expect: nowhere responsible. Jenn's back after her daughter took gold at softball, which is not what we told you people, but here we are. What followed was two-plus hours of the kind of shit that only happens when nobody's in control, a woman who ghosted her entire family for 25 years over a DUI, Stroke confusing the living hell out of an OnStar operator while barely forming sentences, a Chinese "kissing device" that no one on this planet is using for kissing, and a confession segment that somehow ended up at necrophilia before we even saw it coming. Nobody planned the mummy medicine discussion. Nobody planned the giant prehistoric beaver tangent. Nobody planned any of this… and that's exactly why you're still here. Welcome to America's Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Grab Our Shit We made merch specifically desi…

in this uncensored episode 2N’s gone for the day, nobody’s fired (probably), and we’re knee-deep in updates about the hooker giveaway poll, the censorship “experiment,” and why some of you freeloaders suddenly hate beeps. We break down the logic behind editing last week’s episode, talk through monetizing without turning into the morning zoo, debate White Chicks 2 like adults who never matured, and casually discuss branding cows while wondering why we don’t have sponsors. Also, yes …. someone’s winning steak money for Steak and a Blowjob Day. Listen for the details to win in this episode and go to our our facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/NotThatDamnShow) Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸If you’re gonna represent, represent correctly.🧢 https://www.nottds.com/store/Got secrets? We like those.Drop it here before you explode:🫣 https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshowIf you listen every week and still haven’t followed… that’s weird.Fix it:🎧 https://linktr.ee…

The Gang debates giving away a legal Nevada hooker as a prize.Not a joke. Not a bit. An actual poll gets created. They read one-star Bunny Ranch reviews from men mad they only got 15 minutes after negotiating the price down. They argue about whether you can legally shoot a guy jerking off outside your window. (Spoiler: you can’t.) A lawyer jumps in to break down:• Aiding and abetting• Defamation vs opinion• Miranda rights• When you actually have to identify yourselfIt’s prostitution economics, legal education, and public indecency rage — all in one episode.Welcome to America's Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸Buy merch that’ll get you banned from Disneyland🧢 https://www.nottds.com/store/💌 Confess Something weirdDrop your anonymous confessions. We read everything.🫣 https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshowLike, Follow, Subscribe, Rate, Review and Comment on EVERY DAMN PLATFORM.🎧 https://linktr.ee/nottdsWant the full video episode? Join the DPs on Patreon for exclusive con…

A psychic bails. Stroke almost books a flight to Arizona for a $200,000 reward. We legally clarify that we are not responsible for anyone choking during the Steak & BJ giveaway. A tapeworm diet story makes everyone reconsider the dark web. China flexes humanoid kung-fu robots. A dad tracks his 15-year-old to a house party and gets accused of “violating privacy.” Harvard body parts are being sold for profit. And somehow we end up researching how many midgets are in the United States. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Wear Something That’ll Get You JudgedShirt of the Month is live until it’s not.🧢 https://www.nottds.com/store/💌 Say It AnonymouslyConfess it. We’ll read it. Probably laugh.🫣 https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshowFollow it. Subscribe to it. Rate it. Comment on it.Every platform. Don’t half-ass it.🎧 https://linktr.ee/nottdsFull uncensored video episode, bonus segments, voicemails, extra chaos.Join the DPs.🎥 https://www.patreon.com/NOTThat…

Welcome back to another mind-blowing episode of Not That Damn Show, where someone submits a confession asking for a Fleshlight molded from Ian’s anatomy, they explain how ugly guys somehow land beautiful wives, and Florida Man tries to avoid arrest by identifying himself as George Costanza. Somewhere in the middle of all that, the show spirals into Craigslust gangbang ads, failed radio journalism at a dumpy motel, cupcake assaults, and the realization that facial recognition has officially killed everyone’s chances of getting away with anything ever again. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸Buy merch that’ll get you disinvited from family gatherings permanently:🧢 ⁠https://www.nottds.com/store/⁠💌 Confess Something Fucked UpTell us your secrets. We’re already traumatized anyway:🫣 ⁠https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow⁠Follow the show everywhere or continue making terrible life decisions alone:🎧 ⁠https://linktr.ee/nottds⁠Like, Follow, Subscribe, Rate, Review,…

Ian is “dead.” Or kidnapped. Or at a pegging convention. So naturally we call the KKK to ask how they keep their sheets so white, call the Black Panthers because Stroke found out he’s 1% black, and then pivot into Steak & Blowjob Day marketing strategy. Meanwhile, Michael Jordan is trending for touching a kid at the Daytona 500, scientists are tracking farts with Smart Underwear, Viagra might save your heart, and a Swiss church installed hologram AI Jesus for confessions. Also: sex toy parties, cooter festivals, frozen tortoises, and the worst Valentine’s Day movie ever made. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast  🇺🇸👕 Wear Something That doesn’t suckGet your hands on official NOT That Damn Show gear before Reddit writes another essay about it.🧢 https://www.nottds.com/store/💌 Got Something You Probably Shouldn’t Admit Publicly?Send it anyway. We’ll read it. We’ll judge you just a little.🫣 https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshowHit Follow. Hit Subscribe…

It’s 9PM somewhere. Mikey’s drinking. Jen’s computer sucks. Ian might be wanted for kidnapping someone’s grandma. Frozen iguanas are falling out of trees in Florida, Pornhub comments are more philosophical than therapy, and somehow we end up discussing whether the government should monitor your masturbation habits. Add in substitute teachers showing up drunk, Uber roofie stories, mugshot guessing games, and a brief detour into actual real-life trauma that hits harder than expected. Then we go right back to midget wrestling and deadly weapon charges. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Buy the Shirt Before It’s Gone The “True Love Doesn’t Knock” Shirt of the Month is live. Limited run. No reprints. 🧢 ⁠ (https://www.nottds.com/store/) https://www.nottds.com/store/⁠💌 Confess Your Sins Anonymous. Messy. Questionable life decisions encouraged. 🫣 ⁠https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow⁠Follow, subscribe, rate, review, comment, yell at us — whatever you gotta do. 🎧 ⁠https://linktr…

A listener wrote a song about Stroke having sex 38 times in one day and sent it in. You listened to it. All of it. That should’ve been the whole episode — but somehow, it spiraled into a half-serious campaign to let Chick-fil-A run the country, a debate over Pornhub ass-eating stats, and a book called How to Start a Cult. Next thing you know, everyone’s pitching Kool-Aid merch and Stroke is leading a sex orgy interview team in a hazmat suit. Also: funeral desecration in Florida, a Dollar Tree crime ring in Sacramento, a missing flamingo statue in Parma, a bank heist where the money was stored in a goddamn cooler, and Daniel the black guy (probably).Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸Listener Kenobi wants advice on asking a girl to be his Valentine. The gang tries to help, then mocks him with rejection trauma stories and redhead slander.A Pornhub stat claiming 73% of Gen Z eats ass gets treated like it's peer-reviewed science. Ian doubts it. Mikey blames memes. Jenn consid…

Jenn’s Only Hater crawled out of Spotify comments again… so we wrote him a theme song, roasted his existence, and then moved on like adults … by reading filthy romance novels to each other out loud. Butt stuff, “intimate muscles,” and finger placement breakdowns included. Jenn returns from her emo sex cruise refreshed and railed, Stroke’s bones are cracking like popcorn, Ian’s heartburn gets blamed on some extremely questionable oral history and Mikey can’t sleep without hugging a body pillow now. Meanwhile, a grandma becomes a $4K-a-month escort, a methhead steals a plane, and some lunatic in the UK legally marries her dog. This episode should come with a health warning. Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Wear This and Lose FriendsThis month’s shirt says “True Love Doesn’t Knock” — just like your ex, the feds, or that rash that came back. Limited run. Gone February 29th.🧢 ⁠https://www.nottds.com/store/⁠💌 Got Issues? Make 'Em OursSay something anonymous, twis…

Jenn disappears and the show immediately loses adult supervision. What starts as random facts mutates into a live Google spiral about animal anatomy that nobody consented to. Florida shows up doing Florida things, confessions cross lines they definitely saw coming, and Rick the lawyer is forced to answer questions no law school prepared him for. Somewhere in the middle, the internet hands the gang an “award-winning” country singer whose comment section becomes the real performance. Nothing gets resolved. Several things get worse.Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸👕 Grab Our ShitLimited-run shirts and other bad ideas you can wear in public:🧢 https://www.nottds.com/store/💌 Confess Something Fucked UpSay it here. Say it anonymously. Live with it forever:🫣 https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshowHit follow. Lock in the subscription.Stars and comments help more than you think.🎧 https://linktr.ee/nottdsWatch the video by subscribing on Spotify.Patreon is where the extra se…