Episodes

We brought in the spouses for this episode and within five minutes we were trying to launch a diabetic pee whiskey brand called “The Sweetness” From there, things somehow got worse. We talked about the Folsom Rodeo skydiver who almost got turned into a patriotic tent stake, Mikey’s deep hatred of birthday sombreros, and whether a UPS driver throwing a box at a charging dog is self-defense or proof that humanity peaked with caller ID. The confessions went from stolen doorknobs to a fake-burned-do...

We took a week off, came back with three hosts, and immediately started doing math on how this show costs about 75 cents an episode, which somehow turned into us being the cheapest whores in podcasting. Mikey went to San Francisco for his birthday, saw lowrider gangsters blasting Miley Cyrus like the founding fathers intended, and somehow came home angry about some lying table-stealing breakfast goblin at Hot Off The Griddle in Rocklin CA. Then Random Thoughts went completely off the rails with ...

Ian ditched us for work, so Arnie States showed up, which immediately made the show feel like somebody handed the mic to a man banned from several Costcos. Stroke explained his Florida oyster pearl hustle like he’s running a seaside jewelry cartel, which somehow turned into “a pearl necklace from Stroke,” because this show has the maturity of a middle school locker room with Wi-Fi. Jess the song girl sent in a song about Mikey getting tea bagged …apparently this fanbase has lost all shame. Jenn ...

Stroke was out this episode, so we did the responsible thing and replaced him with Rick, our actual lawyer. Smart move, honestly, because this episode probably needs legal supervision. We started with a titties hat, then a dick hat, somehow invented “digital AIDS,” revisited the workplace phrase nobody should ever say out loud, and then took a hard turn into couples splitting bills 50/50. Joint accounts, separate accounts, who pays for dinner, who cleans the kitchen, who steals the money when ev...

Everybody’s barely here, everybody’s allegedly mad at everybody, Stroke is late, Ian has to leave, and somehow that still counts as a functioning podcast… because standards are dead. We’ve FINALLY got the June shirt of the month (Everything is Fake and Gay) Mikey is throwing a party at the Boardwalk Fourth of July weekend, Jenn starts wondering if she’s in menopause. an trying to start his new apartment life by getting rejected in a model unit like a horny real estate goblin. Listener comments s...

This episode started with a simple relationship question and somehow ended with cousin confessions and discussions about butthole licking. The big debate: if someone ghosts you after three months, are they responsible when you completely lose your mind afterward? The jury was divided. We also discovered that Florida's most misspelled word is apparently "school," held a spelling bee for grown adults, argued about Michael Jordan vs Wayne Gretzky, and learned that some people are allergic to their ...

This episode started with Jenn disappearing before showtime and somehow got worse from there. Stroke introduced a song called Don't Put Bananas In My Butt , which immediately destroyed whatever credibility we had left. Then we stumbled onto a Florida music festival charging $34 for a turkey leg and spent the next twenty minutes trying to figure out whether that counts as theft. We also uncovered America's forgotten government cheese mountain, discussed New Jersey's weird gas-pumping laws, debate...

Where’s Stroke? We don’t know so naturally we got into an unnecessarily long discussion about AI gender swaps, lesbian filters, whale sperm perfume, and whether a grown man deserves five million dollars because a cruise ship deck was hot in Florida. We listen to voicemails, read your comments and check Craigslist where we find twinks and pregnant pillow princesses. There’s also a guy using AI to fake Uber damage photos, another guy smearing s*it all over someone’s house, and a woman beating a ch...

After taking a week off, the gang comes back like four exhausted mall cops trying to process a world where people are emotionally cheating with AI girlfriends. In this episode of Not That Damn Show a lawyer got caught doing deeply illegal things with the family dog, and somebody in Florida almost burned down an apartment over missing apple slices. Ian launches into a full boomer meltdown over paper McFlurry cups and disappearing ketchup dispensers while Mikey casually explains there are apparent...

This episode of Not That Damn Show somehow starts with dead bodies getting goosebumps and ends with a grown man explaining why he refuses to eat “BBL ass” like he’s delivering a TED Talk from a gas station parking lot. The gang falls down rabbit holes involving church fights, giraffes tasting piss, Pornhub page 448, HOA snitches losing their minds over Govee lights, and a law student secretly filming people in a bathroom because apparently society is hanging together with duct tape and and tooth...

This week starts with Mikey accidentally turning NOT TDS into Pornhub Lite after trying to monetize the website and immediately getting greeted by a giant vagina and a “girl 3 miles away wants to fuck” popup. Stroke’s getting his master’s degree while simultaneously questioning whether touring Thomas Jefferson’s slave mansion makes him racist by association. Jenn gets “higher than giraffe pussy” off a Mother’s Day gummy while watching Sally Field movies, and Ian nearly declares war on a couple c...

Look, if you came here for a healthy, emotionally mature show, you absolutely clicked the wrong thing. We start with breaking “news” about Jeffrey Epstein’s suicide note like Mikey is CNN, then immediately derail into roasting Ian’s $20 couch mic until he straight-up disappears from the show like a pissed-off lesbian Bigfoot. From there it somehow turns into dragonflies jetting water out of their asses, and a very real discussion on how your partner’s nut allergy can actually kill them via, uh… ...

The show finally has ads, which means some poor brand may now be sponsoring a conversation about balloon fetishes, dolphin crimes, and whether being “shark-fucking rich” is the financial danger zone. Mikey’s trying to sell everyone on the uncensored Patreon while also trying to get Stroke a new liver and maybe a sponsorship from those “we totally prevent hangovers, we swear” pregame shots. Jenn gets everybody caught up on Spirit Airlines collapsing, a cartoonishly large cocaine bust, and a cruis...

Jenn shows up half-poisoned by Popeyes and somehow that just turns into a full forensic breakdown of every fried chicken chain from KFC to shady gas station Dodges where dudes threaten to “shoot your ass” on the phone next to the heat lamp drumsticks. Stroke gives a real update on his liver situation, which somehow turns into merch ideas, Stroke Aid, fake proposals for free dessert, and whether he should wear his graduation gown for six months. There’s also a cocaine-covered karaoke woman, a clo...

We start off with the show shamelessly celebrating its top 3% status, which of course immediately turns into mocking radio hype, trying to decode whatever dumb TikTok slang “you the birthday” is, and somehow sliding straight into childhood trauma and stepdad roll call. Then Florida shows up like it always does, with a doctor yanking the wrong organ out of a guy, a drunk idiot throwing beer bottles at a three-year-old, and a minivan pervert calmly explaining he jerks off in traffic because he “ge...

2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable. Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be a shirt, then got distracted by our AI-generated thumbnail making Mikey the star and branding Jen as...

We made it to episode 83 and somehow you freaks are still here, which honestly raises more questions about your childhood than ours. We start off realizing half this show is about dicks and meat curtains, and the other half is us yelling at you to stop crying about six bucks for uncensored video while you’re out there raw-dogging Starbucks like it’s oxygen. Jenn’s planning an all‑inclusive Mexico trip, finds out via DNA test that she is weapon‑grade white, and immediately gets demoted to “Whitey...

Apparently if we miss one Thursday, some guy named Rob turns into the Patreon hall monitor and writes a breakup letter because “life” getting in the way is just an excuse… so naturally the show vaporizes him. Ian decides single people at four‑tops should tip 30%, admits he doesn’t tip bartenders for just opening a beer, and the whole show spends 20 minutes explaining to him that he’s the problem, not the customer. Somewhere in there you learn about koala chlamydia, slutty ladybugs, gay orcas, Al...

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps. Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealign with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry. Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho t...

Look, some of you are out here worried about filters on Spotify while Ian is out here narrowly dodging becoming freezer meat in a Florida backyard, so perspective helps. Video is paywalled, Audio is free Stroke’s dealing with three-hours-of-sleep misery that somehow led to broccoli fart science with Perplexity roasting everyone’s ass chemistry. Ian drops the Florida horror story about the woman who shot, chopped up, and backyard-buried her boyfriend…who also just happened to be the same psycho t...

Welcome back to the only show that will teach you about a caterpillar that pretends to be bird shit and then pivot straight into why Texas has 581 Dairy Queens and still can’t flip a Blizzard right. We roast Rob’s new disaster, question how many felonies are happening on his livestream, and then somehow end up workshopping slogans for a sperm-themed T-shirt … because apparently “get happy, swallow a nut” needs branding help. There’s a deep-sea whore fish with multiple ball-sack boyfriends, a deb...

Welcome back to the only show where “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” is both a catchphrase and a customer service policy. Last week Jenn yelled at her dogs and some weirdo in New York reported the video like it was a war crime. Somehow that spirals into arguments about sharing deodorant, stealing food off someone’s plate, toothbrush boundaries, fart strategy, and whether watching a show without your partner is basically cheating. Then the show goes exactly where it should: midget hooker intervie...

Every once in a while the news reminds you that the average adult human probably shouldn’t be trusted with car keys, children, or access to a Target self-checkout machine. This show is basically a full hour of that realization happening in real time. We get into a criminal mastermind who stole trading cards by scanning taco seasoning packets, a toddler somehow drinking meth out of a sippy cup, and a guy who managed to get arrested during his own driver’s license test while the instructor was sit...

We started by leaving the pre-show nonsense in on purpose for the DPs, which means the episode opens like a live document of everybody being sick, annoyed, and already talking too much. Then somehow we go from AI slop and robot comment wars to giving away Steak and a Blow Job Day prizes before bringing on Morgan (the dead body finder), who casually explains that her dog can find a single drop of blood and that hiding a body is apparently a terrible retirement plan. From there it turns into voice...