Episodes

Stroke and Ian survived a hurricane, which somehow leads directly to us announcing A Damn Warped Christmas, because apparently surviving natural disasters deserves an emo Christmas party. (Tickets On Sale HERE Friday) Then the entire show (minus Jenn because she would never agree to this) unites behind one important social cause: a grown man should absolutely be allowed to keep the foul ball he caught… Also who cares about that kid anyway he was like 3 🙄 Shane Gillis sends us into a completel...

Aftershock is over, Jenn and Mike’s lungs are apparently full of Faygo and fecal dust, and somehow the bigger problem is people worrying about seeing an ass cheek at a rock festival. Then Ian refuses to move his bar seat for four old ladies, which turns into a completely reasonable discussion about why everyone over 70 should apparently just stay home. Mikey admits he told a local band with five followers that they suck, Jenn gets appointed official prostitute booker, and Florida delivers a Fe...

We turned a perfectly normal Christian debt relief commercial into “Jerking It for Jesus,” so that should give you a pretty accurate idea of how today’s show went. Stroke gets a new job, Jenn joins the Cockgobblers’ Book Club, Mikey’s just surprised we even did a show, and one listener absolutely murders Ian in the comments without Ian even being there to defend himself. Then Jenn brings us a Converse ad people thought looked like the KKK, a cheating car influencer whose affair ended in a flam...

Jenn’s ass loses a fight with a pair of pants, while Stroke’s ass brings home $220. Ian wants to know why adults are still advertising “it’s complicated” on Facebook, which is a brave conversation to have immediately before Mikey explains why his wife went to eye surgery without him. The crew promptly blames the listeners for needing a podcast so badly. Then they judge two actual criminal cases in Digital Dick of the Week, because apparently these four are qualified to assess other people’s de...

We started this week by explaining why getting four adults with jobs, kids, side hustles, health stuff and actual lives together twice a week is harder than it sounds. Somehow that turned into us becoming televangelists, offering miracle water, talking OnlyFans economics, and learning that one of the Dammits is allegedly a prostitute. Then came confessions. A guy claims he tells women a shark took one of his testicles. Somebody tasted their own semen more than once. Another listener says they...

If you think hating pickles is grounds for removal from a podcast, congratulations, you're already more reasonable than us. Stroke somehow turns a haunted hotel story into admitting he can't have sex during Forensic Files, Ian declares war on a Panama City Beach cook named Scott over coleslaw and incorrectly sauced wings, and Florida Man shows up in his underwear hurling beef sticks at a Waffle House. Then Jen brings us Pornhub comments from people named Cooter Destroyer and Semen Demon, which...

There are complaints, and then there’s getting so pissed at a radio host that you handwrite a full-page letter, drive it to the station, and personally deliver the damn thing. Somehow that isn’t even the weirdest part of this show. Stroke starts things off by admitting he complained about his apartment maintenance and apparently got a 75-year-old pool guy fired. Ian gets blamed because karaoke customers keep picking old songs. Then the comments arrive and we’re suddenly debating why women sou...

The Gang Goes to Piggly Wiggly | Ep 116 Stroke went to Piggly Wiggly for cheap soda and somehow came home with Mountain Yeller, Mr. Pig, and a story about discussing his dick with a stranger in the meat department, so we’re off to a responsible start. Then a robot vacuum catches a wife cheating, the husband somehow ends up in jail, and everybody realizes the technology in their house could probably destroy their life at any moment. Confessions bring us a suspicious two-minute fart, Mikey bath...

Mikey leaves one bad pizza review and wakes up to an apology from the woman who cooked 90 pizzas, so naturally he spends the next few minutes feeling like shit. Ian’s kid nearly passes out from heat exhaustion at school when it feels like 115 degrees outside, and that goes exactly as calmly as you’d expect. Then a verified sugar daddy profile belonging to a radio host we already hate appears, Jessicles delivers “Emergency Jackoff Mode,” and Darth Vader shows up at a San Diego City Council meet...

Some a**hole stole nearly two grand from Mikey’s bank account, which means he’s now willing to drink his wife’s bathwater for $1,000 and apparently sell the leftovers in tiny mason jars. We also learned that somebody protects their couch with a handmade sex blanket from Mom, a Florida woman can fit 28 bags of fentanyl inside herself, and Stroke may be one bad paycheck away from FeetFinder. Then Craigslust introduced us to a man searching for a fishing buddy who may occasionally need to fuck hi...

Stroke got fired from radio, and because this show handles serious personal hardship with maturity, we immediately started planning his new career on the internet. Apparently his choices are… selling thrift-store clothes while telling dick jokes, hosting story time from a bidet or showing his asshole until the bills are paid. You can prevent at least one of those things by supporting the show. Choose wisely. We also tracked down our 21 listeners in Fairbanks, Alaska, where every 1,500 people a...

Lawyer Rick joins Mikey and Ian, which immediately turns into a debate over $17 cigarettes, selling out, and why radio keeps replacing actual personalities with bland garbage between tampon commercials. Florida contributes a machete duel over an ex, listeners drag us back through foot Parmesan and Stroke’s first bidet blast, and some guy named Chatty bravely discovers that the joke podcast is, in fact, a joke. Then everybody compares the first major news story burned into their brain, from Cha...

Stroke christens his new Florida place by testing a bidet live on camera…because apparently unpacking boxes was too normal. Then a sold-out, 105-degree Boardwalk show turns into a debate over what could make you walk out of an event. WTF News brings us an Utah bride who tried to torch her Mormon wedding venue with a stolen BIC lighter and a tampon, New Jersey cops dressing like clearance-bin shrubs, and Katy Perry getting rolled around inside a giant inflatable water bottle like a panicked ger...

On todays episode of Not That Damn Show we started with Dammits asking the important questions: who should pay for the condoms, whether Matt’s karaoke date is about to become a terrible decision, and why we call an animal a pet when “pet” is also what you do to it. Then your comments dragged us back into last week’s horrifying racist and sexist commercials and one of our favorite radio pranks, when a fake cat meow had people pulling over their cars and trucks looking for an animal that wasn’t t...

Let’s say you’re a virgin in your mid-20s and decide the best solution is spending $1,500 at a legal brothel. Bold strategy. Now imagine getting home afterward and thinking, “You know what? I need to leave a Yelp review.” That’s where we begin. We also found a married couple who went to the same brothel FOR DINNER and were significantly more upset about missing ranch than the fact that they were eating chicken strips surrounded by prostitutes. Then Florida brought us a fake dick abandoned i...

Family is important. Apparently not important enough to ask your brother to donate sperm without turning every future Christmas into a psychological hostage situation. We also learned that powdered corpses used to count as medicine, a frightened whale can blast three gallons of intestinal “Ink”, and one German man somehow found room for 278 genital piercings. Then a rabid bat landed on a teenager’s face, Mortimer wiped his ass with a turkey sandwich after shitting on a wall, and Russia held a ...

Stroke went to the Mayo Clinic, surrendered 32 vials of blood, and learned he has a tropical parasite that may have been living inside him for years. Most people would process that information privately. We immediately asked him to inspect his poop and send pictures if anything worm-shaped appears. That somehow wasn’t the strangest part of the show. Ian explains why calling yourself a “regular” does not magically earn you better service, a better table, or the right to jump an hour-long karaok...

This is not a normal episode. After a heartbreaking loss in the NTDS community, we’re going live to talk, listen, and try to make sense of something awful together. If you’re struggling or thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988. It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7 in the U.S.

We brought in the spouses for this episode and within five minutes we were trying to launch a diabetic pee whiskey brand called “The Sweetness” From there, things somehow got worse. We talked about the Folsom Rodeo skydiver who almost got turned into a patriotic tent stake, Mikey’s deep hatred of birthday sombreros, and whether a UPS driver throwing a box at a charging dog is self-defense or proof that humanity peaked with caller ID. The confessions went from stolen doorknobs to a fake-burned...

We took a week off, came back with three hosts, and immediately started doing math on how this show costs about 75 cents an episode, which somehow turned into us being the cheapest whores in podcasting. Mikey went to San Francisco for his birthday, saw lowrider gangsters blasting Miley Cyrus like the founding fathers intended, and somehow came home angry about some lying table-stealing breakfast goblin at Hot Off The Griddle in Rocklin CA. Then Random Thoughts went completely off the rails wit...

Ian ditched us for work, so Arnie States showed up, which immediately made the show feel like somebody handed the mic to a man banned from several Costcos. Stroke explained his Florida oyster pearl hustle like he’s running a seaside jewelry cartel, which somehow turned into “a pearl necklace from Stroke,” because this show has the maturity of a middle school locker room with Wi-Fi. Jess the song girl sent in a song about Mikey getting tea bagged …apparently this fanbase has lost all shame. Je...

Stroke was out this episode, so we did the responsible thing and replaced him with Rick, our actual lawyer. Smart move, honestly, because this episode probably needs legal supervision. We started with a titties hat, then a dick hat, somehow invented “digital AIDS,” revisited the workplace phrase nobody should ever say out loud, and then took a hard turn into couples splitting bills 50/50. Joint accounts, separate accounts, who pays for dinner, who cleans the kitchen, who steals the money when e...

Everybody’s barely here, everybody’s allegedly mad at everybody, Stroke is late, Ian has to leave, and somehow that still counts as a functioning podcast… because standards are dead. We’ve FINALLY got the June shirt of the month (Everything is Fake and Gay) Mikey is throwing a party at the Boardwalk Fourth of July weekend, Jenn starts wondering if she’s in menopause. an trying to start his new apartment life by getting rejected in a model unit like a horny real estate goblin. Listener commen...

This episode started with a simple relationship question and somehow ended with cousin confessions and discussions about butthole licking. The big debate: if someone ghosts you after three months, are they responsible when you completely lose your mind afterward? The jury was divided. We also discovered that Florida's most misspelled word is apparently "school," held a spelling bee for grown adults, argued about Michael Jordan vs Wayne Gretzky, and learned that some people are allergic to the...