The Gang Solves a Kidnapping (Probably) |Ep 70 (Audio only)

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Yo, turn it up, crank the volume
to 10.

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Guess what's for the crew who
won't bow again?

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The hosts are united, ready to
go.

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They tried to kill it, but we're
not that damn show.

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Fuck it, we're back.
Louder than you'll know.

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Corporate radio can kiss our
ass.

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They fired us, tried to make us
foam, but we're not that damn

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show.
Still wrong Cutting board old.

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Welcome back to another riveting
episode of Not That Damn Show.

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We are America's loudest
podcast.

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We are all here.
And it's, you know, I got to say

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in I kind of like sometimes
doing recording the show, doing

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the show a little bit later in
the day or at night because I

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don't feel so bad when I'm
drinking.

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Like if I start drinking at
11:00 in the morning, I'm.

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Like maybe I got a problem.
I just got off work so this is

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an after work beer, not a
recording beer.

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They just happened to overlap so
I'm feeling.

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A little different today.
I'm a little pissed at Jen

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because, you know, it's her
fault with this shitty computer.

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So it's not.
It's basically 9:00 on a Tuesday

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night.
Let's give Full disclosure.

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It is.
I've got to be up at 4:00 AM.

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You're fine.
Yeah, so I'll live.

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So Jen, if.
You and.

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Then Ian, I'm surprised you're
with us because you look like

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the guy that they're looking
for.

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Somebody's been detained for
kidnapping Samantha Guthrie's,

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you know, her, her mom, and
somebody's been detained.

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So at any point during this
episode, Ian may get the SWAT

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team just to just take it away.
I have.

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An alibi and witnesses who can
place me there.

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I was gonna, I was gonna say
they, I just before we started

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recording, I read TMZ was
reporting that they paid the

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ransom for her mom.
So Ian might have a whole bunch

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of money now too.
So he might be rich, you know,

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I, I what I just thought was I
want.

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You to look behind me and ask
and does that, does that look

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like I have a bunch of money?
Well, it's under 300 bucks.

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That's what they're reporting
right now, 'cause I just want,

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you know who scares the shit out
of me, by the way?

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Nancy Grace.
And she's on it when she says

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something.
I just.

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Listen, yeah, I don't fuck
around with Nancy Grace.

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Can you imagine her being mad at
you in the home like hell?

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I watched Nancy Grace the whole
time when she when she was after

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tot mom, she kept calling Casey
Anthony the tot mom and Nancy

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Grace was all over that case the
whole fucking time.

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And I'm like, oh Nancy Grace.
She hates this lady.

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I like her.
This is my girl.

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Scares me though.
She's scary.

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She is scary.
All right, well, before we get

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into the show, just thank you
everybody for tuning.

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We appreciate you guys being
here.

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Don't forget that we have a
brand new shirt on sales, the

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shirt of the month.
It is no wrong hold.

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It's no wrong hole show shirt.
Also the no wrong hole show, I

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guess.
But true love doesn't knock is

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what the shirt says.
It's perfect for Valentine's

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Day, perfect for anybody.
It's a great gift.

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Also a good gift is the gift of
supporting the show by joining

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on Spotify or on Patreon.
It's a little bit cheaper on

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Spotify than it is on Patreon,
but Patreon you get all the

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extra stuff.
Spotify you just get the video.

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But you can listen to us on any
platform.

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We're available pretty much
everywhere.

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We appreciate you guys doing
that.

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I'd have to say I'm more of a
fan of the Spotify and I'll tell

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you why because it's easy to get
the app and put it right on your

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TV and watch.
It I know.

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Patreon, I wish they had it the
same way, but you don't get all

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the features you get on Patreon.
So yeah, it's a love hate.

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It is you get your choice.
So you could either there's the

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ease of Spotify or having to
download another app with patron

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and all the other shit.
So it's your choice, but it's a

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little bit cheaper on Spotify if
you want to.

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But either way, man, wherever
you wherever you support the

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show.
We fucking appreciate it.

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And then Ian wouldn't have to
get a second job.

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Jen would be able to get a
better computer stroke, could

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probably quit his morning show
if you all subscribe, but we

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could just do this everyday and.
You wouldn't have to kill.

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Kidnap grandmas.
Jimmy Fanner I mean, there's a

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second job also that kidnapping
business, but that's we're not

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talking about that.
I knew it was Ian when they said

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this guy has This guy didn't
seem very masculine.

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He didn't seem very masculine
and he didn't have his story

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together.
I'm like, that's fucking Ian.

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I knew it was him.
It's so funny.

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I've always got a story.
I saw people online trying to

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unmask the picture.
They're like using AI to take

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the mask, to take the the face,
the thing off of it.

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And it's so weird because like
one picture is like a black

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dude, the other one's like said
clearly a Mexican guy.

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Then it's like this creepy rapey
looking white dude.

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It's obviously there's no way AI
would know.

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Yeah, the guy on the porch, he's
like, oh, there's a camera here,

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what the fuck?
And he grabs the plants and puts

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them there.
And then he you can see his

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little mustache.
It looked white to me.

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I mean, from what I'm looking at
in dark eyes, I'm like.

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That was a Hitler mustache.
That's what I I looked.

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I was like, that looks like a
Hitler mustache.

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It looks.
Straight at the camera too.

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Why they always do that?
Why do all the criminals always

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look?
Straight at the Debating online.

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Is that a man or a woman?
I'm like, well.

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It's a looks like a man I think.
Dude.

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Yeah.
Yeah, well, like I said, I think

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they may they paid.
They paid the guy.

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So maybe they'll be able to get
her mom back.

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I don't I.
Don't know.

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I really hope the woman's alive
who knows it during this show.

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It may break.
We're Tuesday time you hear this

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on Thursday.
We might not know all The Who

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knows.
But Mikey, you might be right

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because I got to give you
credit.

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You said you think this might
have been an inside job and I've

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been like in the whole family's
neighborhood.

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I was watching a day and I'm
starting to go maybe, maybe

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there is some truth to this.
I'm not saying the lady from

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today's show is behind it
because she's in New York.

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Would that be some weird shit?
But I maybe that that son-in-law

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is as creepy as we think I.
Was going to say the the sister,

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the other daughter, the sister
and the the son-in-law.

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I think there might be something
going on with the FBI showing up

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there and searching in the
backyard and searching a septic

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tank and taking shit out of the
house and out of the garage.

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There's something.
Going on.

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And then they're like.
All, all her neighbors or her

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daughter and they're talking to
all the neighbors and looking

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for cameras.
I'm like, I was thinking, OK,

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Mikey, you might have been
right.

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You might be right.
Well, when we recorded a couple

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days ago, I don't know.
You brought up something about

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the cameras this.
Did you guys see the Super Bowl

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commercial where it was?
We'll help you find your dog.

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The Ring camera thing will help
you find your dog stuff.

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Your dog.
We'll help you find everybody.

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We're fucking following you.
We're seeing everything you guys

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do.
We literally just allowed the

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government.
We put cameras on all of our

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doors so that like a bunch of
idiots so the government can

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just fucking.
Log right in and link them all

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together.
There were two if.

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If it's not the one I'm thinking
of, then there were two lost dog

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commercials because one it.
It basically cured racism by

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finding a dog and helping your
neighbor cut down a tree.

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Which.
Oh, I saw that one too.

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Yeah.
That was a stretch.

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There were a lot and and and
every year there's a couple, but

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there were some tone deaf
commercials this.

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Year there was a few there was a
few.

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You know my my one of my
favorites, and I hope so many

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don't get offended by this.
But was was like the the don't

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hate the Jews.
Yeah.

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I was like, is that you just
compared that to to black

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people?
I yeah.

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How do you feel about that?
Because I would be.

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Very upset about you.
I'm black, but you, you know,

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it's like I can't do this.
What the fuck?

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It was really weird.
I.

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Didn't watch the Super Bowl.
I got to be honest with you.

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I just didn't give a shit about
it.

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But I didn't.
See a.

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Lot of the commercials I watched
power Rescue, but I did see the

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commercial with Pepsi and they
had the the two bears hugging

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each other.
Remember like the CEO and

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whatever else, to me, only when
I watched that was kind of.

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Fun, dude.
That was funny because I was

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like, did they just take a shot
at that Coldplay couple?

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Yeah, that was like great job.
They took a shot at Coke and

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Coldplay.
I was like, done you guys.

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That was that was some shade
that was thrown and I respect it

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that.
Just pissed me off.

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Man, I also really liked the
Duncan commercial with everybody

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from the 90s.
Literally everybody it was so

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creepy.
I what's up was like this is so

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weird like do they look like
this or they AI them and.

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No, they they digged them,
especially Ted Danson.

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Oh, so weird.
What about?

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You you bring up that camera
thing.

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I want to tell you what they're
what they're saying with the

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FBI.
So they're saying this whole

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camera situation with this,
trying to figure out who

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kidnapped this, you know, his
mother, she didn't pay for the

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cloud service.
So they contacted Nest, which is

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owned by Google, and they got a
warrant.

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And even though it's still you,
'cause you know you can have one

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and still get notifications or
watch it live, they went in and

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got the damn footage.
Oh my God, take your cameras

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down, everybody.
Take your cameras off your.

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House just Oh my God, I hate to
be that conspiracy theorist but

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at some point, like, it's
coincidences man, come on.

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Dude, if we're going to go down
this road, I saw it was like a

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picture of Benjin Netanyahu, the
Israeli guy, when I was the

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Prime Minister or whatever.
He was holding his cell phone

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and he had tape over his
cameras.

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Oh yeah.
I've heard about.

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That like like if the if a
president of a country or Prime

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Minister is putting tape on
their cell phone, maybe we

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should be doing that too It's.
Wild.

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God, you'd see some boring shit
in my life or like dude.

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Yeah, but then but then like
let's you get in trouble and

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they finally, all the CIA has to
do is just type in your name and

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it's every porn search you ever
looked at videos of you jerking

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off and all kinds of weird shit.
Like fuck that.

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Think about how much porn you
watch on your phone.

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Oh, the phone.
OK, it's.

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Not like I don't use my laptop
for.

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That Jen.
You.

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00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,920
Jen does.
That's why her computer went

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bad.
I only know so.

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Aids.
I gave it AIDS.

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Yeah, yeah.
You can't do that.

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You can, Jen, you should know
better.

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You can't look at, you can't
look at porn on a computer.

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You have to use a mobile.
We had to.

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I mean technically would it be
our fault because she has porn

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comments that she's going to
read later so she's doing it for

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the show?
Don't play, it's her fault, the

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play boss.
I mean, it was her idea to do

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this segment, so I'm going back
to blaming Jen.

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Perfect.
Perfect well since since we're

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on the subject of you Jen, I
wanted something I wanted to

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00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,080
point out before we move on.
It was right before the show

227
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,840
started and I sent this over to
the crew, but I want to put this

228
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,960
up on on the screen as well.
We got a really nice message

229
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,560
about you Jen and considering
the hate you get from Nico's

230
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,320
bitch ass like you're 1 only
haters and literally nobody

231
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,880
else.
But it was really nice that this

232
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,440
listener sent this in and and
it's up on the screen, but I'll

233
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,640
read it for those of you that
can't see it says yo going back

234
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,320
and re listening to the old
shows when you guys were

235
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,680
interviewing the girls.
I'm so freaking glad you guys

236
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,600
went with two N 2 N Jen,
obviously the four of you all

237
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,920
talk like you 4 of them were
childhood friends instead of

238
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,200
just knowing each other for a
few months.

239
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,240
Just re listen to some of the
other contestants and they're

240
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,520
making my skin crawl.
Whatever.

241
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,800
Some of them were really bad.
There was 1 specifically that

242
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,520
was terrible.
But but anyway, Jen, we're happy

243
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,480
to to have you clearly the
listeners live show.

244
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:29,080
There's one contestant who can
suck a Dick, but I do I, I still

245
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,600
do enjoy listening.
Like I, I've gone back and

246
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:36,120
listened because I was, I was on
the road for a weekend and I was

247
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,080
going to see my, my brand new
nephew.

248
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,920
So I had to drive for like a
couple of hours and I.

249
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,640
Brand new nephew.
Yeah, my sister just had a baby.

250
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:44,800
Like it's just.
Weird.

251
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,160
It's just weird what you said.
Yeah, it's kind of brand new,

252
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:53,000
like a new toy.
Well, I, I, I, I kind of,

253
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,680
because I, I get to shape him
and mold him into the little

254
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,040
smart ass that I, because I told
her straight up when, when that

255
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,640
baby was born.
I'm like, I'm going to teach him

256
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:03,040
so many swear words.
It's going to be.

257
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,120
Great middle finger.
He's my This is my first nephew

258
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,360
or niece.
I don't have any nephews or

259
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,080
nieces until now.
So now I get to finally, you

260
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,520
know, be the drunk uncle.
That's crazy that nobody wants

261
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,160
to be.
Around I'm.

262
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,240
Excited.
This is what I've wanted for or

263
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:22,360
I've wanted my whole life, but I
liked Kira and Timo Lara.

264
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,680
Oh, you, they were great for
sure.

265
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,440
I did too.
Yes, they're good people.

266
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,240
And and honestly.
And Jamie, I forgot.

267
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,480
Yeah.
Yeah.

268
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,360
I forgot her name for a second.
And then the other one that

269
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,720
sucked.
But yeah.

270
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,880
But either way, we definitely
made the best choice possible.

271
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,560
And and and and again, nothing.
But nothing against Keira,

272
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:44,400
nothing against team with great
people still have communications

273
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,240
with them.
We love them.

274
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,560
They love them, They showed.
The door of it.

275
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:47,680
Yeah, they.
Yeah, they're.

276
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,920
Good people, good people so.
We Yeah.

277
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,160
All right, with all that being
said, you guys ready to give us

278
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,160
some random facts real quick?
Yeah, you're gonna learn.

279
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,000
Today you're gonna learn
something.

280
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:58,480
Yay.
Learning.

281
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:04,920
Random facts.
All right, I got a couple.

282
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,280
I'll start off with one and then
we'll just go around the room.

283
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,880
My first one is, well, you know
what I mean?

284
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:18,120
I got to be such a Dick all the
time because maybe there's

285
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,320
people listening who'd never
have watched the show and maybe

286
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,960
haven't connected the dots that
were not in the same room.

287
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,800
He's under a lot of stress.
He's got a grandma in the

288
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,760
backroom.
The sack of potatoes next to is

289
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,480
fucking Ocean Spray cranberry
juice.

290
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,320
Is that why you have the Ocean
Spray cranberry juice for the

291
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:42,080
old lady you fucking kidnapped?
And A and A and a bowl full of

292
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,680
hard candies.
The ones that the ones that are

293
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,920
shaped.
Yeah, no, the strawberry ones

294
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,280
that you did that don't have
like.

295
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,320
Yeah, those.
Are the best.

296
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,360
It'll be the worst to feed her
too.

297
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,280
He's like I got her but I don't
know what to feed her.

298
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,960
Hard candy and Golden Corral.
That's perfect.

299
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,040
That's all you got to ensure.
Sure, yeah.

300
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,480
Gotta make sure your stomach's
OK.

301
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,920
All right, so my first one is
there are sounds your body makes

302
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,120
that you will never hear because
your brain filters them out.

303
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,640
Really.
It like it mutes certain things,

304
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,200
so like blood flow and shit like
this, different things that are

305
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,480
happening, your eyes moving and
stuff like that that actually

306
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,120
makes sounds, but your brain, Oh
my God, that's not so you can't

307
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,840
hear it is.
It there there's a room that I

308
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,400
don't know if y'all have seen
the the, the, the it's a meme

309
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,960
and a news story, but there's a
room that's so soundproof that

310
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,560
no one can stay in it for longer
than 45 minutes because you

311
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:34,720
start to hear your blood moving
and I, I kind of went, I kind of

312
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,760
want to try that to be honest.
That sounds kind of cool.

313
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:37,520
That's.
Weird.

314
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,640
Yeah, you.
Like take a couple mushrooms and

315
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,200
fuck it all, suddenly start
hearing your blood.

316
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,680
Yeah, right.
Fuck that would freak me the

317
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,840
fuck out.
Here's here's a weird one.

318
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,000
Male elephants can control their
junk the same way they control

319
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,920
their trunks.
So like they used to swat flies

320
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,640
and prop themselves.
So literally a a elephant.

321
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,520
'S Dick could just be.
Like going all over the place

322
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,240
that I kind of wish I could do
that.

323
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,480
Are you?
Seeing an elephant's Dick can be

324
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,120
a fly swatter.
They yeah, they use their Dicks

325
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,920
to swat flies.
Like another tail or trunk?

326
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,040
Yeah, basically.
Their trunks.

327
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,800
Their trunks, like grab things
and shit.

328
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:17,120
Can their Dick do that too?
According to according to this

329
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,960
which I would love if my Dick
could do that just like say

330
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,360
excuse me which which way is the
gas station?

331
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,880
That way go go gadget Dick.
You're damn right.

332
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,040
Can they get their little trunk
to go down and suck its own

333
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:34,840
Dick?
I don't know why.

334
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,440
I have.
Not a valid question.

335
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,520
I haven't made that far into the
Internet yet.

336
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,800
And you say why, but that is a
valid question.

337
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:47,080
To be fair, Jen was gone when we
needed her because Mikey had to

338
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,120
take over.
Jen is our Animal Pete genitalia

339
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,960
researcher.
When did I get that special

340
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,280
badge?
When you were gone and we

341
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,000
nominated you, yeah.
That's as long as you don't nut

342
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,880
in his own trunk.
You know, that's getting, it's

343
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,960
kind of gay.
Fucking drowned.

344
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,920
That's definitely.
He's got junk in the trunk.

345
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,920
Oh, nut in the trunk.
What you gonna do with all that

346
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:12,320
junk inside your trunk?
My God.

347
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,280
Who's next?
I'll go.

348
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:19,280
Did you know Vincent van Gogh
only sold a single one of his

349
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,840
paintings like himself?
Only one.

350
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,960
One.
Yeah, yeah.

351
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,360
So everything that was sold was
after he died.

352
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,520
He never sold anything other
than one God.

353
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,320
This is interesting.
So the last part of his life,

354
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,080
he's like, my heart might suck.
Basically, yeah.

355
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,240
Cut his ear off and everything.
How sad.

356
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,640
Like he's only cuts his ear off
fucking.

357
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,240
His life is plagued with
tragedy.

358
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,640
It really is.
I I went to that, to that Van

359
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,960
Gogh museum, like that
travelling museum, whatever that

360
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:51,400
comes up every once in a while.
It's I It's always just out of

361
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,880
my reach whenever it comes to
anywhere near me.

362
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,600
It was so cool, man.
I really enjoyed that.

363
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,400
Like what a really cool
experience.

364
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,240
The art was everywhere and plus
it was it was just, it was more

365
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,280
than just going and looking at
the art.

366
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,200
Like it really was an
experience, like you're like

367
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,440
immersed into it.
It was really cool.

368
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,640
That's.
Neat.

369
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,120
All right, so my facts today,
and I got one right now, but

370
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,160
it's all based on things I've
learned this week in school,

371
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,960
'cause you know, I'm paying
thousands of dollars to go to

372
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,720
school, but might as well just
share them, Educate us.

373
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,960
We've all heard about how you
share bad experiences, right?

374
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,080
So the latest stats on this
people usually tell people about

375
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,880
bad experiences more than they
do good ones.

376
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,720
We've all heard that, right?
On average, customers share a

377
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:35,680
positive experience with nine
people, but negative they share

378
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:39,640
between 9:00 to 15 people.
Because people just want to

379
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,800
complain.
Yeah, and 13% of unhappy

380
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,880
customers spread it to 20 or
more.

381
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,680
So if you're really pissed, you
tell up to 20 people or more

382
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,840
about whatever, no.
One ever talks about their good

383
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,320
days that people just want to
bitch.

384
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,640
But but Even so, like like the
point of the customer, like

385
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,680
you're saying like what a what a
that's shitty.

386
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,800
You know, thinking about a
business, a poor business, they

387
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,280
could be the best business there
is, but barely anybody's going

388
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,880
to talk about how great their
experience was there.

389
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,280
But as soon as somebody has one
bad experience.

390
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,920
I, I, that's what a manager told
me that quite a few years ago.

391
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,560
He's like, people are much
quicker to go online and Yelp a

392
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,720
bad, a bad experience they had
than a good one.

393
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,000
Like if you, because that's, and
that's why we had to constantly

394
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,119
tell people, you know, at the
end of their meal, like, hey, if

395
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,359
you guys enjoyed yourself, you
know, leave us a review, you

396
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,599
know, leave mention my name, you
know, because I'll get all kinds

397
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,359
of, you know, they, they give us
points and perks and all kinds

398
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,440
of shit just because, like they
said, they're so much quicker to

399
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:36,960
be like fucking my fries were
two minutes away from my, from

400
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,880
my entree.
They didn't bring them at the

401
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,840
same time.
Fuck this place.

402
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,240
Yeah, you can have a bad waiter
or waitress and the Cook's

403
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,280
perfectly fine.
Or the waiter or waitress

404
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,480
screwed up the order but doesn't
mean to play.

405
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,960
Sucks overall.
No, there's there's there's

406
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,280
things that I do to make sure
that you know, I can separate

407
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:59,040
myself from any kind of blame.
Like when you give me your

408
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,360
order, if I have a table of
four, give me your order.

409
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,240
I'm going to look each one of
you in the eye.

410
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,560
Repeat back what you said to me
because we have food runners.

411
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,600
So if anything comes out wrong,
I just told you what you

412
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,680
ordered.
So if it comes out wrong, that

413
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,360
is on them.
I can fix it.

414
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,440
But don't be mad at me.
They're.

415
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,560
Still going to be mad at you?
Of course they're.

416
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,680
Going to.
Be my next one here is there are

417
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,920
vending machines in Japan that
sell live beetles and used

418
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,760
underwear.
Not, not together, not like you

419
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,760
can go with my beetle and used.
On the same vending machine.

420
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:34,240
But I don't know why.
I mean, why used underwear?

421
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,840
Yeah, that I knew because.
We talked about many times

422
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,480
there's a market we were.
Doing radio, but yeah, Japan's.

423
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,880
Weird, man, there's a big market
for that stuff.

424
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,040
The vending machines, Yeah,
People like to sniff them.

425
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,280
I don't get it.
I've never understood that.

426
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:52,200
Like like there's feet are one
thing.

427
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:57,040
I don't like it, but to an
extent I can see why somebody

428
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,240
else would if that makes.
Sense.

429
00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,080
Sure.
Yeah, yeah.

430
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:04,160
Like the underwear thing, like
that's that's rubbing against

431
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,960
somebody's like pussy and
asshole all day.

432
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,400
But what about what about people
who like, you know, they buy the

433
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,600
bathwater and stuff like that?
Oh, like drink the bathwater.

434
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,600
Yeah, they buy the bathwater.
Or like like a jar of farts.

435
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,440
Oh my God.
I actually, I actually might

436
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,240
know.
I haven't seen the person, it's

437
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,360
like 15 years, but I actually
might know a person that's that

438
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,880
sells ball or farts or burps.
I don't know what it is.

439
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,960
I haven't talked to them in like
12 years.

440
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,000
Do you think there's a market
for us to sell hard burps and

441
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,680
farts?
One of them I think so I.

442
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:41,000
Definitely it was Jen.
I have a price, have a price.

443
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,840
Somebody ever got a crab
smelling panties like in their

444
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,600
nose with the little hair?
Oh yeah, I bet someone would pay

445
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,280
extra for that too.
They probably won.

446
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,760
You think that?
Would like live up in your nose

447
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,360
hairs?
Wow, like a little ratatouille

448
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,800
for.
You wonder if it's possible.

449
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,680
Crab Crabatouille.
Hey, don't blame me, Jesus made

450
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,720
my mind this way.
Anyway, did you know that tic

451
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:09,520
Tacs are almost pure sugar, but
since each one has at least

452
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:13,480
0.5g, they are legally allowed
to round down and say there's

453
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,200
they're sugar free because the
government's lying to you about.

454
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,720
Everything I've heard that.
Everything's fake, everything.

455
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:25,800
'S fake and gay.
Mary Shelley, the novelist she

456
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,920
lost.
She lost her virginity on her

457
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:31,360
mother's grave.
That's gangster.

458
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,960
And a bonus bonus piece that she
was such a nut she after her

459
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,880
husband died, she also kept his
heart wrapped in a desk drawer

460
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,360
around a poem that he wrote.
That's love.

461
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,800
I don't care what anybody says
that.

462
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,720
That is the original goth bitch
right there.

463
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,080
Yeah, badass.
That's fucking crazy.

464
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,320
Though I wouldn't be very good
at keeping somebody's heart.

465
00:20:55,320 --> 00:21:01,040
I'm just like, oh, the next
thing you know, my dog Jabarcus

466
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:01,720
ate it.
That's when.

467
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:08,680
Jabarcus, I can't until I too
sent that video yesterday and I

468
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,960
died laughing.
Explain what happened.

469
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,000
So this video, I'm sure people
have seen this online.

470
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,200
I guess it's been going around.
I had never seen it until

471
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,280
yesterday, but it is.
But it is a woman who has a

472
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,680
little white dog as a black
lady.

473
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:24,160
She has this little white dog
and the dog's name is Jabarcus,

474
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,680
which is the greatest name I've
ever heard for a dog.

475
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,680
I know I want to call the vet.
No, my next dog is seriously

476
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,720
going to be called Jabarcus.
I'm like, yeah, Jabarcus Mastro.

477
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,840
I was like, I was telling
everybody like, we're changing.

478
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,120
We have a little dog, a little
black dog.

479
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,720
And I was like, we're changing
her name to, we're changing

480
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,080
Lucy's name to Jabarcus.
She's Jabarcus from now on.

481
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,280
And my, my wife is like, why?
Because she's black.

482
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,240
That's racist.
And I'm like, well, I mean, I

483
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,320
guess it kind of is.
You're right.

484
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,720
That was fucked up.
Dude, I want a name.

485
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,760
It's a great name.
I'm going to.

486
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:57,120
I'm going to post in the group
best dog name wins like but it

487
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,840
has to be your actual dog's
name.

488
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,480
Oh my damn.
Dog has the best name.

489
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,960
Yeah, mine's just Dexter after
the serial killer because my

490
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,520
daughter loves it.
That's that.

491
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,360
Mine's pretty simple.
My dog's name's Bell and the

492
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:11,720
other one's Lucy.
Yeah, mine's got three legs, and

493
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,360
his name's Tripp.
That's a great like new wing.

494
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,360
That's a good way.
I love that a good way I'm.

495
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,680
Not getting a dog until I move
out of here.

496
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,280
That's a good idea all.
Right.

497
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:24,000
So we just had the Super Bowl
this past Sunday.

498
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,080
If you watched it, and you know,
they always have, people watch

499
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,200
for the commercials, they watch
for the game, they watch for

500
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:34,840
both, whatever it is.
Back in 2018, they ran Dundee.

501
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,360
The son of a legend returns
home.

502
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,800
You guys remember this?
People thought it was going to

503
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,160
be a real movie.
That was Chris Hemsworth, I

504
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,320
think.
Yes, and one of my favorites.

505
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,440
Danny, What's his Danny McBride
bride?

506
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,280
Yeah, He was supposed to be the
son.

507
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,120
Well, it was done out of
Australia for a reason.

508
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:58,640
This was really smart.
They wanted people to travel to

509
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,120
Australia.
People had the declines in North

510
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:05,040
America.
Yeah, so they got the tourist

511
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,600
numbers up because people all of
a sudden start having more

512
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:13,160
interest in Australia, 30% of
growth in US travel sells

513
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,120
overall because of that Super
Bowl ad.

514
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,080
It worked.
For marketing is marketing is so

515
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,840
fucking weird.
Yeah, it is.

516
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:22,840
That's.
Crazy.

517
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,120
But you're like, I want to go,
so I do.

518
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,320
I do know a lady that is from
Australia.

519
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,280
She lives here now and I always
asked her about every time I

520
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,960
ever see her.
I always asked her about like,

521
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,680
Kangaroos.
And she's like, yeah, they run

522
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,640
around everywhere.
I was like, oh, they're

523
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,120
basically.
Australia's rodents.

524
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,040
Yeah, they're like everywhere,
like I'm self like, do you just

525
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,320
walk up and walk outside your
house and they're just fighting?

526
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,720
She's like sometimes.
Awesome.

527
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,720
So OK.
How would her not for the?

528
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,880
Kangaroo fights videos then If
they're just out there just

529
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,640
beating the shit out of each
other, I want to see this.

530
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,440
I always see him boxing.
I'm grown man.

531
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,760
That's the only videos I ever
see.

532
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,560
Not each other, just a grown
man.

533
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,520
On YouTube just.
Go do research.

534
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,640
Tonight.
Gets his ass kicked by a

535
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,560
fucking.
Kangaroo, I don't care.

536
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,640
How big you are?
Like we, we talked about this,

537
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,360
they're like 50% of their body
weight is muscle and they can,

538
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,240
their legs carry like 800 lbs of
force.

539
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,360
It's their bites comparable to
we all.

540
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,880
They're they're, they're
monsters.

541
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,520
We all watched that video of
that one, grabbed the dog and

542
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,560
that dude punched that damn
kangaroo in the face.

543
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,320
What the fuck?
And they and it it got bigger.

544
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,040
Yeah, it did.
Yeah, because he's like.

545
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,520
Squared up yeah he's like oh I'm
sorry I didn't know we started

546
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:31,520
you like the.
Memes too.

547
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,320
It's like they've been to
prison, you know, like they work

548
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,560
out in.
Prison like they look.

549
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,280
Like they're going whoop your
ass.

550
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:42,680
And I would 100% eat kangaroo if
somebody fucking around here

551
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,040
sold it.
I'd throw that shit on the grill

552
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,680
in a heartbeat.
You know, I got there's AI,

553
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,840
don't have any here, but there
was a, there's a place up the

554
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,800
hill that sells kangaroo jerky.
Shut the fuck up.

555
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,840
Are you serious?
Can that be verified though?

556
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,240
Like, 'cause they like, I don't
know as what to say, 'cause you

557
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,120
just heard my tic tac thing.
They they everything's fake and

558
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:02,000
gay.
Yeah, it's, I mean that.

559
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,080
Might not even be kangaroo.
That might be fucking just like.

560
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,560
Raccoon.
Yeah, it could be anything.

561
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,120
This is fucking street meat.
Who's?

562
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,360
The elephant trunk after it
sucked itself off.

563
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,920
It could be.
Before we get into Florida, Man,

564
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,680
I got to ask you guys a question
because I don't know if this is

565
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,400
real.
In the stroker, Ian, there was a

566
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,160
video or a picture of a guy from
the past week or so who was like

567
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,920
laying on the ground and he was
covered in iguanas that were

568
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,320
frozen, supposedly frozen that
fell on him or something like

569
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:33,960
that.
Is that real?

570
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,760
I do think so, but they didn't
know that he just gathered them

571
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,320
all up because there was a news
story that, yeah, they were

572
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,280
talking about it.
And yeah, I mean.

573
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,920
But it was real.
Yeah, iguana, every year the

574
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,080
news talks about this iguana's
just falling out of trees

575
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,480
because it gets so goddamn cold
to you sometimes.

576
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,400
Like 2 weeks ago it was 2926°.
So yeah.

577
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,480
And they're cold blooded so they
freeze and just fall out of the

578
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,320
tree.
Let me get to Florida news

579
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,480
because I got it.
We can't really discuss this.

580
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:06,440
Let's get into that.
Florida man, loose and wild,

581
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,640
breaking all the headlines.
Crocodiles down from the Keys to

582
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,760
the Panhandle.
He don't quit living life loud

583
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:27,880
with the wildness.
All right, so you want to go

584
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,200
iguanas?
We'll talk about it.

585
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,600
We had that cold snap here in
Florida and you know, it was 20°

586
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,240
like a week ago here and people
are freaking the fuck out.

587
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,760
We had snow last year.
We don't know.

588
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,160
We can't handle that shit.
Here you guys get crazy when

589
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:40,520
that.
Happened.

590
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,000
Yeah, we cannot.
We can, we can handle hurricanes

591
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,400
like a fucking champion, but if
it goes below 32, oh, I don't

592
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,440
know what's going to happen.
Shut up back there.

593
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:50,800
He's still yelling at Miss
Ethel.

594
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,280
He's.
Can't shut the fuck up.

595
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,040
I need my denture solution.
No one cares.

596
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,680
Shut up, bitch.
Hope he does that all randomly

597
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:04,280
throughout the show.
Well, we live, we live in

598
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,080
Northwest Florida, the Panhandle
area.

599
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,880
We do not have iguanas here.
I just want you to know that

600
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,560
they're further like really S to
go and see the iguanas.

601
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,520
They are, they are everywhere
there and they are kind of like

602
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,240
rodents people.
They shoot them.

603
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,840
You're allowed to just shoot
them because they're just

604
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,920
annoying for the people.
Well, South Florida.

605
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,240
Recently I love Florida man.
Can I see can Can you just shoot

606
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,480
anything that's annoying in
Florida?

607
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,440
Can you shoot annoying people?
Only if they break into your

608
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,200
house.
All right, Oh, you got to have a

609
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:33,880
you don't with stand your ground
state.

610
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,800
So as long as you stood your
ground like I was.

611
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,520
Come over here.
Tell them.

612
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,600
I'm just waiting for my day.
Oh my God, here we go.

613
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,360
South Florida recently
experienced that stretch of cold

614
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,800
temperatures down there like we
did here.

615
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,080
It was freezing.
And yeah, those iguanas, they

616
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,040
were, they like freeze up.
They're still alive.

617
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,200
They just fall out of the
fucking tree.

618
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,560
They'll hit people in the head.
They warn people like, watch out

619
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,040
for them, They're falling.
That's crazy.

620
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,440
Yeah, they can walk by and all
of a sudden the iguana just

621
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,360
falls on you.
It it happens, Well, why?

622
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:10,040
Love Officials warn residents
not to panic if they saw

623
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:14,240
reptiles in the, you know, on
sidewalks or yards.

624
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,600
They weren't dead.
They're just, they're cold,

625
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,840
stunned.
They're just frozen.

626
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:18,640
Yeah, they're.
Frozen.

627
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,440
They're just like, oh please
warm us back up.

628
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,840
Just like us Floridians.
Well, social media, however,

629
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,720
grabbed the moment and ran with
it.

630
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,720
And people were talking about
how they love and you can look

631
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,040
this up online if you think I'm
bullshitting you.

632
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,320
There is iguana recipes and
people were putting pizzas of

633
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:39,440
iguanas on pizza.
I bet it goes great and some

634
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,040
gumbo.
I bet Iguana is good.

635
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,000
I don't.
I would.

636
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,440
Imagine it.
Hey, I've, I've, I've had, I've

637
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,400
had stranger meats than iguana.
I've had possum.

638
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,200
What kind of meats?
I just said y'all were too busy

639
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,720
going sexual like you the
fucking children that you are.

640
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,200
Are you new here?
Get out of here.

641
00:28:58,720 --> 00:28:59,920
You gotta be careful with what
you say.

642
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,960
Yeah, I really heard the first
half.

643
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,120
I don't know what you said.
The second part, well, I.

644
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,320
I think that story deserves an
elderly Flamingo.

645
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,080
Oh, there she is.
I told you Ian's about to get

646
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:12,560
that.
That's.

647
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,560
I hope the SWAT team busted the
door.

648
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,240
He's got miss.
What's her name saying?

649
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,600
Guthrie.
Guthrie.

650
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,360
I got miss Conor Nana listen
let.

651
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,240
Me, let me just say this if if
something really bad happens

652
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,360
between now and Thursday when
this episode comes out to her

653
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,640
mom, we apologize for anything
that we say moving forward and

654
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,640
out before this.
We're sorry we didn't.

655
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,320
Know because my registered
address is still my.

656
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,160
Mother, first of all, I don't
believe she's alive.

657
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,360
She's already.
She's dead.

658
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,400
I didn't hope that.
I just think it's an awful

659
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,680
situation.
I think it is.

660
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,680
Time just airs in two days from
now.

661
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,640
Yeah, There'll be a whole lot
more details out there.

662
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,440
Just who's behind it, you know,
What's the situation?

663
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,600
We'll find out.
Which I mean, I really do hope

664
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,600
they find her alive.
I want truly to want to put that

665
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,560
out there.
It's just I just like to laugh

666
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,080
at fucked up shit, all right?
A Florida man tried to skip out

667
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,600
on a restaurant bill after
racking up more than $60.00 in

668
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,720
food and drinks.
Look at him, he's going wild.

669
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:11,920
Staff said he claimed he
couldn't pay and left behind

670
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,920
bank cards and as security,
which later turned out to be

671
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,840
empty.
He promised he'd returned the

672
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:22,320
next day to settle the tab.
Instead, he walked back in late

673
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,200
the following night looking for
his phone charger.

674
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,600
He had forgotten.
Idiot you dipshit.

675
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,960
What a dumb ass.
Well, they called police,

676
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,040
deputies arrived, they arrested
the dude and like, hey, you

677
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,200
didn't pay your fucking bill. 60
bucks so.

678
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:37,960
I had a friend who did.
Something similar.

679
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,840
He, he had a, he just upgraded
his phone.

680
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:46,080
He still had his old phone and
he just he's like, let me leave

681
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,600
my phone here and I'll be right
back to pay my bill.

682
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:49,960
Motherfucker never showed up
again.

683
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,040
So he, he just left a phone he
was never using again.

684
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,720
So I'm like, I hate, listen, I
hate a thief.

685
00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,600
That was kind of smart.
That's funny.

686
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,480
I.
Don't know a rideshare driver in

687
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,560
South Florida survived A
terrifying ordeal when her

688
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,240
passenger began groping her
while she was driving.

689
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,440
The attack calls her to lose
control of the SUV.

690
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,240
She slammed into another vehicle
and the crash into AI.

691
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,160
Guess she end up crashing like
this nearby building not sure

692
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,040
what kind of building.
Witnesses said they heard the

693
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,160
impact, which that's a good
that's a good crash when you can

694
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:30,960
hear it and they saw the driver
trapped in the wreckage in

695
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,320
shock.
She was unable to move.

696
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,520
The passenger ran off
immediately after the crash but

697
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,920
didn't make it far.
He accidentally left his phone

698
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,920
behind an SUV, making it pretty
easy to track the fucker down.

699
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,040
Police arrested him shortly
after and charged him with

700
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,280
battery and some kind of
negligence.

701
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,840
He remains in custody as of with
the print out of this article.

702
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:55,000
Also if you use a rideshare like
they have all your information

703
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,120
you.
Look at that.

704
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,960
Don't grope the driver.
No, what?

705
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,960
What does you should not even be
said.

706
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:04,760
That's.
Really.

707
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,800
Why I don't like Rd. head?
OK, I know it's it's I know a

708
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,840
lot of people like it, but I
have ADHD.

709
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,840
If a plastic bag's on the on the
road, I'm going to get

710
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,240
distracted, put my Dick in your
mouth, we're going to die.

711
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,920
You're an ass.
I missed that.

712
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,000
Segment How's my ass?
I missed that segment we used to

713
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,520
do on the air.
What was it?

714
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,920
Uber.
Uber confessions.

715
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,440
Oh, Uber confessions, that was
great.

716
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,680
The driver had a threesome with
two chicks that were drunk with

717
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,640
that guy.
One was doing coke with them.

718
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,280
We had all kinds of crazy stuff.
Yeah, we.

719
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,600
Had Uber drivers would call in
and tell us yeah.

720
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,040
That's wild.
Yeah, that was a good segment.

721
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,880
If you're an Uber driver or
drive for Lyft anonymously, just

722
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,320
leave us a comment.
Tell us some fucked up story.

723
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,240
Yeah, leave us a confession.
Leave a voicemail.

724
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,320
Just be like Uber driver here
and tell us what happened.

725
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,440
How'd it be great I.
Love the stories Kyle got

726
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,720
accidentally roofied in getting
in an Uber.

727
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,160
What?
Listen to this show.

728
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,880
OK so this was quite a few years
ago but him and one of our

729
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,760
friends were leaving a house
party.

730
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,640
I decided to stay behind.
The boys wanted to go back home

731
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,120
and as they got in, the Uber
said goodbye.

732
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,360
Whatever.
I get a call like because we

733
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:14,880
live 30 minutes away from this
place.

734
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,880
I get a call from him and he's
like, hey, like real fucked up.

735
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,200
And he didn't leave that fucked
up.

736
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,600
And he's like, I think, I think
we were just drugged.

737
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,120
And I'm like, what the fuck do
you mean?

738
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,640
You think you were just drugged?
And I was like by the Uber

739
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,240
driver.
And he goes, yeah, well, he had

740
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:36,160
little water bottles in the back
seat like the, the, the here

741
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,200
thank you take one type of
thing.

742
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:43,080
And he and our friend had taken
big ol swigs of them and

743
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:47,120
immediately started feeling like
they were all roofied up.

744
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:51,800
It was so bad he had to call his
mom over because he was like, I

745
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,040
might need to go to the
hospital.

746
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:57,240
And after all of was said and
done, like we don't know if it

747
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,160
was the Uber driver that had
that shit back there or if it

748
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,200
was someone before them had left
him in, but he was definitely

749
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,600
like, roofied.
Yeah.

750
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,159
Damn, that's because I've been
in a lot of Ubers where they

751
00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:11,000
have like waters and shit in the
back freak gum or something like

752
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,679
like that.
Like oh this is so nice thanks I

753
00:34:12,679 --> 00:34:14,679
appreciate that.
I'm guess I'm never going to

754
00:34:14,679 --> 00:34:15,920
drink that shit again.
Don't do that.

755
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,760
I accidentally ruber Uber
roofied myself.

756
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,800
You did.
No, how do you, it was me.

757
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,560
I won't tell you who it is, but
it was a attorney friend of mine

758
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,400
and we were out and it was
middle of the day and they're

759
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,920
like, from what I gather now was
like, don't eat all these

760
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,840
fruums.
I don't remember shit after that

761
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,120
between that and the drink and
whoo.

762
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,159
Man, I don't really like to
meet.

763
00:34:41,159 --> 00:34:44,199
This person, whoever it was.
I know whoever it was, I slept.

764
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,320
Finally, I slept for a good
eight hours.

765
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:47,719
So I was like, whoa, this is
good.

766
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,840
You'll act like that's a lot.
That's nothing to me.

767
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,600
Like I I sleep at least 12 y'all
I don't know.

768
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,679
Me, yeah.
I got a good. 8 hours I'm like

769
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,520
you should be you must be tired.
I I I get an average five.

770
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,720
Yeah, maybe. 5 or 6 for me every
night.

771
00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:03,400
Fucking wild.
To.

772
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,600
Me that's a nap sucks.
I wake up every night at 2:00

773
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,800
AM, used to do prep and then go
back to sleep maybe 30 minutes.

774
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,360
Wake up at 4:00 and then I take
a nap about 11:30.

775
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,600
That would make me sad dude.
No, I don't.

776
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,360
Know how y'all do this?
That's my girlfriend.

777
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,960
I'm literally in her phone as
sleepyhead because I fucking

778
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:24,120
sleep so much.
Like it's, it's I should, I

779
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,360
should be like normally I, I
think I'm dead half the time.

780
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:27,720
Maybe there's something wrong
with you.

781
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,320
Maybe you're sick.
That's what I thought, I'm like

782
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,760
am I like pre diabetic or
something because I sleep way

783
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,360
too much for somebody who's not
sick.

784
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,440
Low iron.
Yeah, if I could be a kid, I

785
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,480
could sleep like that.
I think life just became shitty.

786
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,280
You used to waking up early.
Life just doesn't.

787
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:46,440
Affect well that is just like I
wake up and my mind is I'm

788
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,160
always I'm always working on
something and my mind is always

789
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,280
thinking like I wish it would
just if I could shut it down, I

790
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:53,440
just.
Can't seem to do it.

791
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,960
That's weird.
The first thing I think of when

792
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,040
I wake up is, man, I can't wait
to go back to bed.

793
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,240
No, I need y'all.
Just wake up like, what is

794
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:01,360
everybody doing today?
What am I?

795
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:02,760
How am I going to get something?
What am I eating?

796
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:03,920
What am I wearing?
What am I doing?

797
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:04,760
Fuck.
All that.

798
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,320
Oh yeah, I want to think about
the podcast at like 3:30.

799
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,880
I'm like nobody's up.
I thought about the podcast 30

800
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,120
minutes before we did the
podcast.

801
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,440
I'm like, yeah.
My mind just fucked up.

802
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:20,320
Yeah.
Preschool LM employee in Florida

803
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,400
here.
Made a shocking discovery while

804
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,480
helping a young child look for a
paper inside the backpack was a

805
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,520
handgun tucked inside there.
Like deputies were on the scene

806
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,280
within a minute.
Shitty parent.

807
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:37,840
Shitty parent fuck.
Investigators later arrested the

808
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,160
child's parent for unsafe
firearm storage.

809
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,840
Yeah, good.
You probably should.

810
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,440
Your kid does not need to just
grab a gun and put it in a book

811
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,240
bag.
That's that's so scary.

812
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,200
I mean, as gun owners, we're all
gun owners.

813
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:55,880
Like that is like #1 rule.
Have it safely put away like.

814
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,000
Preschool.
I don't even know I.

815
00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,520
Was.
Probably.

816
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,640
Negligent. 12 or 13 before I
held my first gun, but I was

817
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,200
obviously, you know, in a very
safe environment when I was

818
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,160
being taught how to, how to
properly use them.

819
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,760
Shit, I was even older than
that.

820
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,320
I think I was probably more like
18 years old the first time I

821
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,280
ever.
Oh, I know that's different.

822
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,680
It's a little bit different.
I was in Ohio and I was nobody.

823
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,320
Has yeah, I was probably 3 hell
out.

824
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:26,480
The first armed robbery I recall
is I think I was 9.

825
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,680
I went up there with ABB gun gas
station, robbed them, robbed

826
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:30,800
that bitch.
No BB guns were.

827
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,720
Different like I had a yeah, but
I mean I had guns in my room

828
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,200
though, like shotguns.
It was fine.

829
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,040
It was like never thought about
shooting anybody but I did go to

830
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,120
the gas station and point my BB
gun at her and then that bitch

831
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,080
laughed at me and told my
grandmother I got.

832
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,920
My there it is.
It's all right.

833
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,040
Guess what?
I bet I'm the only ones that

834
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,600
ever robbed a gas station on
this show.

835
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,520
That's.
Because I didn't get caught.

836
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,400
Yeah.
I used to.

837
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,880
I worked at a gas station and
stole from them every single

838
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:58,640
day.
Cigarettes.

839
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,640
There was a gas.
Station by this place I used to

840
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,280
live when I was like 20.
I robbed those motherfuckers

841
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,480
blind every time I went in
there.

842
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,200
That was a good noodle.
Now he.

843
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,280
Has upgraded his crimes to
kidnapping old granny's.

844
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,920
Well, it's only kidnapping if
they find her, yeah.

845
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,840
To hail.
Well, we'll get emails this week

846
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,600
'cause I bet between now and
Thursday a lot of details will

847
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:28,280
be out.
Yeah, at ntds.com.

848
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,960
Substitute teacher in Florida.
Don't check my e-mail.

849
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,040
I believe it.
A substitute teacher in Florida

850
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,280
was arrested after arriving on
campus so intoxicated that staff

851
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:39,680
immediately knew something was
wrong.

852
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:41,320
Almost immediately.
Oh.

853
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,520
My God, the motherfucker just
walked in, stumbling, bouncing

854
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,720
off the walls.
Oh, he's drunk.

855
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:50,680
You know what?
You're substitute.

856
00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:54,040
Teacher like you're on that they
call you early like I'm not one,

857
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,960
but they you know, they wake you
up and you're like, well shit,

858
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,320
Hey, when you should work, you
might you.

859
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,720
Might still be hungover or still
drunk from the night before.

860
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,360
Like I wonder because because we
have a friend that's a

861
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,280
substitute teacher.
I'm like, how many times you

862
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,520
work with these little
motherfuckers and you might have

863
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,440
a little bit of a buzz go.
I'm not saying intoxicated, but

864
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,560
maybe like you said, you were
still drunk from the night

865
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,280
before.
Well, they do immediately.

866
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,720
Like you didn't even try to
cover it up.

867
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,800
Our friend, Our friend that's a
substitute teacher.

868
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,480
Is he trying to be a teacher?
Is that like his goal?

869
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,080
I don't.
Think so.

870
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,360
What the fuck?
Is he even doing No offense to

871
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,480
him, it doesn't strike me as you
know, a full time teacher like

872
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,840
this might just be for for the
money and and the story.

873
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:40,320
Well, I told him you can, he has
his degree in psychology and I,

874
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,240
that's right.
You can, you can special in

875
00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:44,680
something and then be able to
teach that you can do it.

876
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,600
I mean, they can do it.
Whatever your specialty is, you

877
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:51,200
could, but you have to go take
more tests to say I'm an English

878
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,280
teacher or I'm a math teacher or
whatever else.

879
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,600
But anyway, all right, there you
go.

880
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,680
That is what happened in Florida
so far.

881
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,880
But give us time because by next
week we're going to be more

882
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,600
fucked up.
Shit, the weather's getting

883
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,360
warmer.
Every single week is always

884
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,680
something and.
We don't slow down.

885
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:08,640
We are.
We are.

886
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,080
We're winterproof with our
stupidity, if anything.

887
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,440
Oh yeah, I just saw a local.
Yeah, local guy got arrested.

888
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,960
He's missing half his teeth.
I'm like, oh God, I saw that guy

889
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,640
and one of the damage posted it
making fun of Florida.

890
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,440
Don't realize that's about an
hour between where Ian and I

891
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,000
live.
I'm like, yeah, that guy's ugly

892
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,360
as fuck.
Yeah.

893
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,400
Like, and somebody even quoted
me saying he had March Madness

894
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,160
teeth.
I'm like, see, it's catching on

895
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:33,040
March down to the final.
Four.

896
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:36,320
That's hilarious.
All right, thank you very much,

897
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,560
Stroker.
Appreciate that.

898
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,240
And so we, this was something we
were going to do on Tuesday's

899
00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:45,040
episode, but we were having talk
with Jen's computer if I decided

900
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,840
to take a shit.
So it's all Jen's fault.

901
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,640
But I'm going to turn it over to
Jen now as she is going to read

902
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:51,800
us.
We're going to jump into the

903
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,800
comments section today, and it's
going to be the Pornhub comments

904
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,080
section.
Oh yeah, boy do I got some good

905
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,680
ones for you today.
So, as I've done in the past,

906
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,320
I'll read you their username
because sometimes those are

907
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,800
fantastic.
This first one comes from Judy

908
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,000
Pie.
Yes, Judy Pie.

909
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:12,080
Damn, what's with the music?
I'm trying to bust a nut, not

910
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,080
bust a move.
Wait, these are so good.

911
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,320
Like I want to dance.
So is Judy Pie a man?

912
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,600
Because I don't hear women
talking about busting nuts.

913
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:24,400
That's just that's confusing.
Do women talk like that, Jen?

914
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,560
No, no, we don't talk about
busting or no.

915
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:31,400
Wow, I, I, I think maybe six
months ago, I heard AI overheard

916
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,880
a woman talk about how she like
when her boyfriend goes down on

917
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,000
her, she calls it getting head.
I'm like, please don't call it

918
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,600
that.
Please don't call it that.

919
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,160
I do, I do call it getting head.
No.

920
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:41,040
Do you?
Don't do that.

921
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,320
No, Yeah, I do.
I do.

922
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:43,400
That's awesome.
What do you want?

923
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:46,960
What do you want her to call it?
Get my pussy.

924
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,480
Going down on eating pussy, lick
the box, whatever, I don't.

925
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,880
Give a shit, lick the box.
Yeah, I don't want anybody like

926
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:56,400
give it.
I gave her head.

927
00:41:56,600 --> 00:42:00,000
No, I don't like that.
That's super gay.

928
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,600
That's really gay.
It really is.

929
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,120
All right, this next one comes
from Sola Syria.

930
00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:09,400
Porn is cool and all, but do you
ever just want to die?

931
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,040
Wow.
You know, get offline.

932
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,720
Way to kill the boner.
I think you've watched it enough

933
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,800
porn.
Yeah, you need to get offline

934
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,520
for a little bit might.
Be time, but it did have 20 /

935
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,280
20,000 likes so thumbs up to
wanting to die.

936
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:27,040
Wow, I didn't know that many
people were checking the

937
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,400
comments.
Yeah, I only, I can only go over

938
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:31,360
it.
If you could make money off of

939
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,840
it, who cares?
Yeah, Florida become that stupid

940
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,000
state where, you know, we have a
lot of things right but along

941
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,720
wrong things, many of them and
porn you have to like log in and

942
00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:41,040
give your information and I
won't go.

943
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,400
There's a couple that I know
like still log into because they

944
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,160
just don't give a fuck about the
Florida law.

945
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:48,640
But I'm like, they don't upgrade
it.

946
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,600
I'm like, can you guys do
something different?

947
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:51,880
I'm like, I've watched all
these.

948
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,840
I've seen all these videos, I
need you guys to refresh the all

949
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,720
the fun in.
My category anyway you.

950
00:42:56,720 --> 00:42:59,080
Know it's just.
It's like me with Netflix.

951
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,600
I've seen all this shit.
I'm just trying to.

952
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,200
I'm just I I spend more time
browsing than I do watching the

953
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,160
shit.
Yeah, that's the truth.

954
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,720
Yeah, I get tired.
I'm like, damn, I don't.

955
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,640
Even want to do this anymore?
Now I'm.

956
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,240
Not even hard anymore.
I'm just going to go to bed now,

957
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:16,960
at least the time.
All right, Hey, hey, says says.

958
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,760
Wow, this girl would.
This girl would be a lot cuter

959
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:20,520
with a Dick.
What?

960
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,680
The.
What the fuck?

961
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,720
I fucked, I fucked and Frank,
2000 said.

962
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:30,280
Bro that is a great name by the
way.

963
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,160
What the fuck?
I fucked Anne Frank, 2000.

964
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,240
This is the.
Second, I almost wish he had a

965
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:39,280
clip of the porn so we could
understand it more.

966
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,200
I know right?
Oh.

967
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:42,920
But we can't actually show it to
people.

968
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,640
Well, I know.
And Jen would pull.

969
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,320
We could put shit on us and we'd
be like, oh.

970
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,920
I know it's true.
But like you would think that

971
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:54,400
Florida man would do it more but
this this bit makes me realize

972
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,720
how much of a mistake humanity
was.

973
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,720
What is wrong with people that
you would look at a girl and she

974
00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,400
would be bad?
She just had a Dick.

975
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,480
With the pitch eater.
Just something.

976
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:08,920
Gay.
I know, just accept it.

977
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,280
Can I ask you guys a question?
You know what I don't like?

978
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,200
When you're trying to watch
lesbians and you have the one

979
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:14,520
with the strap on fucking the
other one.

980
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:15,760
I'm like, I don't want to watch
this.

981
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:16,960
I just don't.
What's the point I.

982
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,400
Don't care for it either.
OK.

983
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,960
Scissors No, I don't want to
watch your fake Dick and.

984
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,280
I don't know, Yeah, like if I'm
going to if I'm going to see

985
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,880
that, I'm going to just watch a
dude rail the chick or what's

986
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,080
funny to.
Me is when the because because

987
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:35,240
every once in a while you know
that video will will be on and

988
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,680
the one wearing it moaning like
she has an actual Dick.

989
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:40,120
I'm like this bitch stupid as
fuck.

990
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,040
What the why are you even?
Why are you moaning?

991
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,680
What are you moaning for?
She's got her hair cut, Ian.

992
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,640
You know, she's like, take this
Dick.

993
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:50,520
Oh, like yours?
Yeah, well, you have a lesbian

994
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:51,880
haircut too.
You both.

995
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:56,560
Do yeah, you want a scissor?
Actually, realistically.

996
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:59,080
So close.
I've seen lesbians come through

997
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,760
my bar that have every single
one of our haircuts.

998
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:06,560
Yeah, that's fair.
All right, Aqua Tits says.

999
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,120
Damn that.
Aqua Tits.

1000
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:13,320
Let's just appreciate that.
Actually, I'm gonna change my

1001
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,760
name to Aqua Tits.
You said that's a good name.

1002
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:20,680
Aqua tit says damn that cock is
huge, but you want to know what

1003
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,960
else is huge?
My love for Jesus.

1004
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:24,400
Can I get a Amen?
No.

1005
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:28,080
I have a question.
Is Aqua tit one word or two?

1006
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:33,960
It is a apostrophe OK Aqua tit.
Sticks in there?

1007
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,760
Oh, I have to.
Can't put Jesus on a pornhub

1008
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,360
comment, I just feel.
Like it's wrong.

1009
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,520
Yeah, that does seem a little
wrong.

1010
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,240
I got one.
I got one more for you here.

1011
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,120
This one is from Naruto Kid
2006.

1012
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:47,480
You know what's funny?
We're like a.

1013
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,560
Kid in your.
You know what's funny?

1014
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:51,160
It's like, hey, we're like, can
you find some comments?

1015
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,520
She's like, no problem. 5
minutes later she's done like.

1016
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,560
What do you?
Want.

1017
00:45:55,240 --> 00:45:58,400
It makes me want you could.
Realistically, you could do this

1018
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,080
segment by watching 1 video.
Just keep.

1019
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,280
Scrolling I I wouldn't be
surprised if she only went to

1020
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,360
one video and just kept looking
at all these fucking idiots.

1021
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,240
Until there's until you started
doing this segment, have you

1022
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,720
ever read the comments?
I don't read the comments.

1023
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,760
Well, OK, I sometimes just if
it's like the most ridiculous

1024
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,920
video ever and I'm like, this is
some bullshit.

1025
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,560
Let me see what's what people
say.

1026
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,360
And that's kind of like where I
started with it.

1027
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,560
I'm like, oh, these were pretty
funny, these.

1028
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:27,440
Are.
Good.

1029
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:32,640
OK but Naruto Kid 2006 says my
boner.

1030
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,400
My boner died entirely when she
said trust me I know at one

1031
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,440
minute 40 seconds.
How does she know?

1032
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,600
How does she know how good a
blowjob feels?

1033
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:46,400
That sounds like a fucking lie.
And there is nothing my cock

1034
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,520
hates more than liars.
Fuck you.

1035
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:53,040
See this, That's a great
comment.

1036
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,040
Because I can, I got to wonder
if that guy's actually serious.

1037
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,760
He might be for like what he's
saying.

1038
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,440
He might really feel that way
about that situation.

1039
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,520
Or there could just be stand up
comedians in this world going to

1040
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,800
public comments and just fucking
killing it.

1041
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,760
Yeah, in which case, standing
ovation, fellas.

1042
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:11,760
And.
Ladies, keep it up.

1043
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,800
That's great.
Like just go to just go on

1044
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,920
Pornhub and just troll people.
That sounds like a good time.

1045
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:19,400
I enjoy it.
You know, you know, stand up

1046
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,160
comedians will go and and
they'll do like they'll just do

1047
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,280
an open mic night to kind of
work some new material.

1048
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,640
Maybe just do that on in the
Pornhub comments from now on and

1049
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:29,200
see how that goes.
You get a bunch of likes.

1050
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,280
That's a good joke.
Dude, that's actually not a bad

1051
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:32,680
idea.
I know.

1052
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,480
I've been saying forever that
this show, because like this

1053
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,840
show needs to be on Pornhub.
Put us on.

1054
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:41,880
There no reason whatsoever other
than we can say that we are and

1055
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,760
no other podcast can.
How how do we get on there?

1056
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:46,360
I have no idea how to load,
someone said.

1057
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,000
I think you just got to create
an account and.

1058
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,000
Like create an account and just
upload the videos.

1059
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,400
Oh my God, the comments.
I don't want to see these

1060
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,520
fucking people, Oh my God.
They look so great.

1061
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,120
When are they going to fuck?
When are they going to fuck?

1062
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,480
Why are we not on there every
episode?

1063
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,520
Let's.
Do it.

1064
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,480
Oh my God, that's funny.
No y'all are laughing.

1065
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,560
I'm dead serious.
I would pay 100% love for our

1066
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,040
videos to get in Pornhub.
Go for.

1067
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,000
It again.
Go forward, Ian, I don't have an

1068
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,560
account.
Yeah, I run into people

1069
00:48:19,720 --> 00:48:21,200
sometimes.
I run into people and I have my

1070
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,720
stupid hat on and my glasses,
they're like, are you famous?

1071
00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:26,480
And I'm like, yeah, but now I
can go Pornhub.

1072
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,040
Pornhub.
Look me up on my pornhub.

1073
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,400
On our business cards it says
Spotify, YouTube, Patreon,

1074
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,280
Pornhub.
That'd be great.

1075
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,600
Also I can't put them on Pornhub
because I live in Florida and

1076
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:39,720
without a VPNI can't get on it.
I ain't telling the governor

1077
00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:42,280
what kind of shit I watch.
I mean, this, I'll tell, is

1078
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,320
mills and lesbians.
Pretty much.

1079
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,400
That's pretty much it.
Threesome because that's, you

1080
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,760
know.
It's like, why the government?

1081
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:49,440
Why does the government want to
know why?

1082
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:50,160
Why do you care?
What?

1083
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,200
I don't know.
I don't agree with that.

1084
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,120
A lot of things I like.
Because Mike Johnson's sharing

1085
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,200
his porn activity with his kids,
so we got to share our activity

1086
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:58,760
with the government.
Jesus.

1087
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,000
Christ, I agree with that.
Yeah, Some things I don't agree

1088
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,200
with.
That's one.

1089
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,960
Yeah, that's just one more thing
that fucking government wants to

1090
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,840
control is when and how you
ejaculate.

1091
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,480
And to what.
To that I say no thanks.

1092
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,800
I thought this was America.
I thought this was too.

1093
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,840
And it's not.
Anyway, there's that music.

1094
00:49:19,240 --> 00:49:22,760
Fucking Nazi China or something,
I don't know what this is North.

1095
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,400
Korea.
Well, nobody.

1096
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,440
Nobody jacks off in North Korea.
One thing California.

1097
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,600
Not without permission.
Still is.

1098
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,640
You can still get on Pornhub.
I have to kill the governor.

1099
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,280
The governor, What I'm watching.
Oh, they encourage it.

1100
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:38,040
They teach that in school.
It's like this California, they

1101
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:42,480
don't give a fuck.
Let's move right along into

1102
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:46,520
confessions.
So I will warn you guys, some of

1103
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,800
these confessions you may have
potentially heard before.

1104
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,000
I wanted there was some really
good ones that didn't make it

1105
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,240
out on that last episode that we
had not last episode, but the

1106
00:49:56,240 --> 00:49:58,320
episode before because there was
some tech problems.

1107
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:00,520
And I want people to make sure
they that they know we're

1108
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,520
reading their their confessions.
So but some of these are new as

1109
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,440
well.
And we'll start off with this

1110
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:06,680
very first one.
Here it is.

1111
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:08,280
I'm afraid to fight a deaf
person.

1112
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,360
They know how to throw hands.
Clearly that is a joke, but

1113
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:15,640
confession that.
Somebody said it.

1114
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,760
It's.
Not even a good dad joke.

1115
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,360
I'm still out there doing dad
jokes all day, but this one it.

1116
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,480
Was OK, It was OK.
I give it up.

1117
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,840
Minus I'll tell you what's funny
if a deaf dude beats your ass

1118
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:26,880
though.
And then?

1119
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,640
Afterwards it gives you silent.
Lakers going fuck.

1120
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:32,040
You, I done fucked you up.
Fuck you.

1121
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,720
Good to do.
What?

1122
00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:40,360
I can't see you.
Fuck you going to do all right

1123
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:44,240
anyway, we're fucked up.
Next one since I came home and

1124
00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:46,280
found my dog too.
I got my comrack so.

1125
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:52,520
My dog likes he likes period
stuff.

1126
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,760
Jesus Christ.
Most dogs do actually.

1127
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,120
My little, well not most dogs
but I think little dogs because

1128
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,320
our little dog did the same
thing.

1129
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,840
Every one of our garbage cans
now has a lid on it because he

1130
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,920
was getting into shit and and
period stuff.

1131
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:07,400
Or she was.
Yeah, yeah, they love.

1132
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,520
They love like they love
menstrual.

1133
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:11,680
It's gross.
A little menstrual dog.

1134
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,800
I was not.
Aware of that.

1135
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,120
Oh, yes, I mean this blood.
Think about it.

1136
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,080
I mean, if you're a dog, that's.
It's so gross.

1137
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,720
I'm trying to think about it.
I can't connect the.

1138
00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:25,480
Next thing you know, they're
running around with a tampon in

1139
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,080
their mouth and you're trying to
chase them going.

1140
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,200
Get the fuck out of here Dexter,
you nasty fuck.

1141
00:51:31,240 --> 00:51:36,080
Jabarkas, you nasty fuck.
Jabarkas you stupid dog.

1142
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,560
Get the fuck out of here.
Nasty.

1143
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,040
Pulling the string out of his
mouth.

1144
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,320
Whose is this?
Oh, gross.

1145
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,800
This next one I had to leave in
here from last week because we

1146
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,440
didn't really get clarification
on it and it kind of ignored it

1147
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,280
Says IA.
Few years ago I pegged Ian

1148
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,600
twice.
Just want to put that out there.

1149
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,120
And I'm going to do the same
thing that I did 2 weeks ago.

1150
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,000
Deny it.
I mean, but you, you can deny

1151
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,840
it, but I mean this just say
it's not true.

1152
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,040
If it's not true, it's not true.
I'm literally denying that that

1153
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:07,320
happened.
Oh OK.

1154
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,400
That's what denying is.
Stroke.

1155
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,840
I just want you to clarify like
I'm just going to deny.

1156
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:13,960
I want you to say I don't want
to fuck me in the ass.

1157
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:15,960
Yeah, no one's fucked me the
ass.

1158
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,480
OK, right I.
Believe you I.

1159
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:21,000
Believe.
You do we, do we.

1160
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:27,560
Aqua tits.
This one says ha ha, that that

1161
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,920
I'm the one that left the water
sport confession a couple weeks

1162
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:33,040
ago talking about they would
like to get they were turned on

1163
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:34,440
by Stroke talking about water
sports.

1164
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:38,000
But Stroke's theory is wrong
when he's whatever your theory

1165
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,520
was about people who maybe get
peed on or something.

1166
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,280
Maybe they were sitting in their
diaper for too long when they

1167
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:44,920
were younger and they get into I
don't know.

1168
00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:47,200
Anyway, she says she has daddy
issues.

1169
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,760
Oh that's I mean that when you
have daddy issues that that's

1170
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:53,360
that sucks with a lot of fucked
up shit.

1171
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:57,040
I think there's still a major
amount of people who have wore

1172
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,920
diapers too.
You might not remember, but you

1173
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,240
your mom and dad probably didn't
love you enough and change your

1174
00:53:01,240 --> 00:53:04,160
diaper.
You said piss, piss diapers for

1175
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:06,160
a long time.
Probably.

1176
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,760
I think this is probably a a
pretty good theory.

1177
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,960
I mean, she says she has a daddy
issues, he never gave her enough

1178
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,040
affection and now she wants men
to totally dominate her so.

1179
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,440
You want to get pissed on?
Maybe.

1180
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:23,640
Good luck, don't drown.
If a girl ever, if honestly

1181
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,200
before I get to the next one,
eat one of you.

1182
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,360
Would you pee on somebody if
they asked you to?

1183
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:32,440
Do you mean single me or do you
mean now?

1184
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,360
Single you, single you, of
course.

1185
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,160
If your wife asked you to, no or
if.

1186
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:39,480
You're being there because I
don't want to be with the wife

1187
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:40,920
that I can piss on.
I don't want to be with anybody

1188
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:42,160
I can actually like.
Right.

1189
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:45,760
I would, I would if, if my wife
asked me.

1190
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:47,800
So be like, I can't do that
because then I will.

1191
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,040
Yeah, it'll be totally different
after this.

1192
00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:54,960
Pissed on you, like you, I still
love you, but we're.

1193
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,920
Not doing this.
The. 25 year old.

1194
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,840
Yeah, and and the odds of them
already being pissed on at that

1195
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:01,840
point, I don't want to know
that.

1196
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:03,720
I don't know.
That's true.

1197
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,840
Yeah.
This next one, This next one

1198
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,760
says we were discussing.
Not that damn show had sex

1199
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,560
without ever pausing the
discussion.

1200
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,440
And then they high fived
afterward like it was like they

1201
00:54:14,440 --> 00:54:16,840
just nailed a group project.
So awesome.

1202
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:19,880
So you were fucking while
talking about us.

1203
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:21,400
About us.
The only thing that would make

1204
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,120
that better is if you were
listening to us at the same

1205
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,480
time.
Preferably Craigslist.

1206
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,280
Maybe they were.
That segment.

1207
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:28,360
Really.
Is people horny?

1208
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,080
It does.
Yeah, or the book reading.

1209
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:33,840
You got, you got to, yeah,
people, people like that shit.

1210
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,800
You got to you got to do
Craigslist again in the next

1211
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,480
week or so.
And I'm not trying to get all of

1212
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,160
our listers pregnant, man.
I'm trying to control the

1213
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,760
population and spread it out.
No, we let's get them, let them

1214
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:44,400
all get pregnant because we need
more dammits.

1215
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,600
Yeah, but they don't name them
after us anyway, so what's the

1216
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:50,160
fucking point?
Even basic ass names but stroke.

1217
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,000
Seriously.
I know, right?

1218
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:56,080
Mike, Jen, Ian.
Lame fuck.

1219
00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:58,320
I know.
You know what, name your kid

1220
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:01,360
Aqua tits.
If you if anybody fucks deer in

1221
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,840
our podcast, please just
comment.

1222
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,880
Just let us know.
Yeah, if you guys, if you're, if

1223
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,920
you're like fluid enough to be
doing it and still talking about

1224
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,720
us, I think that you could grab
your phone and send us a message

1225
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:15,280
at the same time.
Or a voicemail.

1226
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,280
A voicemail?
Hey, guess what I'm doing right

1227
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:19,400
now?
You know what I mean?

1228
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,840
Like whatever.
It's like, guys, guess what?

1229
00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:24,440
You hear that?
Round of applause just for you.

1230
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:25,400
Round.
Of applause.

1231
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:27,760
That's my girl.
'S ass just bouncing bouncing

1232
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,960
bathroom.
Oh by the way, I said that video

1233
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:33,400
last night of that dude that
plays all the sex clips from the

1234
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,720
auto auto books or whatever in
Gin one.

1235
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:36,800
Oh my God that was so funny.
I.

1236
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,840
Need like a minute and a half
clip of you reading a sex novel.

1237
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:44,000
I'm going to go fuck with people
and spoof what that guy does at

1238
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,320
a gas station.
It's really funny find.

1239
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,640
Some fucked up shit to read.
Yeah, yeah.

1240
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,320
Do it.
Send it to me this week.

1241
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,800
I'll do it.
I'll do it this weekend if you

1242
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:52,320
get it to me in time.
I got you.

1243
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,760
This one here says my boyfriend
tried mouse on a trampoline.

1244
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:58,360
The mouse was too big and he
kept falling off.

1245
00:55:59,920 --> 00:56:01,760
He got little balls, little
balls.

1246
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:05,400
That's what I'm saying, is it?
Are you bragging about he's got

1247
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:08,280
a big peen or chances are he's
got little balls?

1248
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,280
No baby balls.
Sounds like the former.

1249
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:15,080
That's weird baby balls.
Fuck is wrong with you?

1250
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,560
Well good for him.
I hope he halfway bouncing.

1251
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:25,040
This one is, I'm only 5 foot,
almost a Midget.

1252
00:56:25,720 --> 00:56:31,640
Midget line is what, 4949490?
Well, you're very close.

1253
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,960
Versus 5 foot, I think, yeah, I
think you're right.

1254
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,240
I think it's 411 and under.
Yeah.

1255
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,520
So 5 foot here, almost a Midget.
I used to date a guy that was

1256
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,600
6/6 and I never had to get on my
knees.

1257
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,560
He's just eye level to his
Wiener.

1258
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:49,600
What?
Do you do I hate that word?

1259
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:52,560
Wiener.
I don't like the word Wiener.

1260
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,960
I really don't.
It's the least sexy word ever.

1261
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:58,240
Wiener.
Wiener.

1262
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,800
Yeah, that's weird.
She's so get out of.

1263
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,640
She's so little and he's already
6 foot 6.

1264
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:09,360
You know how big his Dick look
in her hand already?

1265
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:10,680
Like.
This.

1266
00:57:10,720 --> 00:57:13,240
Oh, but she probably she's, she
can't even put a whole hand

1267
00:57:13,240 --> 00:57:15,960
around it, I'm sure.
Yeah.

1268
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,760
Look at him.
Oh, my guess.

1269
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:20,280
I guess it would be kind of
like.

1270
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:24,720
Well, it's just a lifetime of
ego inflation because.

1271
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:29,760
We talking about midgets a lot.
Think we were, but it seems to

1272
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:32,400
be we might have.
Because this person says with

1273
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:34,720
Midget talk from the last
episode, I was terrified

1274
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:37,200
thinking about Midget Dicks.
We had to look up that porn.

1275
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,240
I looked up the porn to see if
the Midget Dick was normal size.

1276
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:41,880
That's.
Right.

1277
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,680
That's right, it says.
When I was little, my dad was

1278
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:47,280
rarely around, so I watched TV
with him when he was there.

1279
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:49,480
He always watched the horror
movie Leprechaun.

1280
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,560
And I'm afraid of midgets.
And I'm in my 30s.

1281
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:52,720
Listen.
Watch free.

1282
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:55,240
Movie.
That movie sucks.

1283
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,080
Leprechaun is a terrible movie
and I remember my dad watching

1284
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,000
that when I was a kid and it was
like, I maybe that's why I don't

1285
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,040
like midgets either.
I don't, I don't I, I just think

1286
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,480
the movie sucks.
I haven't seen this since I was

1287
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,280
a kid and it terrified me as a
kid.

1288
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:09,680
It was bad.
I agree with you.

1289
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:13,320
My my aunt, she I hate like she
doesn't hate.

1290
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:16,080
She just starts laughing so hard
as she sees a Midget.

1291
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,400
So I send her Midget stuff
occasionally and I try to get

1292
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:21,240
her tickets to a Midget
wrestling because they just had

1293
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:24,920
that recently over in East Town
and we got invited to go out.

1294
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,400
We just didn't make it.
But I'm.

1295
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:30,000
Telling you, man.
She would have pissed her pants

1296
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,040
laughing.
She just can't.

1297
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:33,640
When they when they come here
dude they pull ass man.

1298
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,960
The ones that are single they
are just out.

1299
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,760
They got like 3 bitches trying
to talk to them and take them

1300
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:39,880
home.
It is insane.

1301
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,800
Midget text I tried to get, I
tried to get the boardwalk to

1302
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:47,120
book the Midget wrestling and
the owner was like Nah, that's

1303
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,960
not our lane.
Like, right, That's cool.

1304
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:50,320
I get it.
A.

1305
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,200
Couple places did it in
Sacramento.

1306
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:56,320
I mean, they got, I think they
got some coming in a couple of

1307
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,240
months.
No, they just, they were just

1308
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,480
there.
They just played or did the

1309
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,240
thing up babies at Goldfield or
something like that.

1310
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:04,480
And I mean, this is a good turn
out from what I saw.

1311
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:05,680
But he's just like, I don't
care.

1312
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:06,760
I don't care how many people
come.

1313
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:07,880
I don't want them.
He's afraid of them.

1314
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,600
He doesn't like me.
Oh, he's just terrified.

1315
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:15,200
They're just like, I don't like,
Yeah, the next one is I like, I

1316
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,520
like to get high and lay under a
weighted blanket and ride my

1317
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:20,560
vibrator until I can't feel my
legs.

1318
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,480
Sounds like a perfect Saturday.
I mean, honestly, it doesn't

1319
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,960
sound terrible.
Love that.

1320
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:29,800
If I had a vagina, trust me,
there's a, there's like 3 or 4

1321
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:34,240
songs that I that, that I play
at karaoke that the bass is

1322
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:38,400
higher than all the other songs.
And when the bass kicks in for

1323
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,320
some of them, I'll be sitting in
my chair and it vibrates.

1324
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:42,640
It damn near vibrates me off the
chair.

1325
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,560
And I'm like, man, if I was a
woman right now, I'd I'd be very

1326
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:47,320
happy.
What is this game?

1327
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:47,880
Yeah.
Exactly.

1328
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,000
I would not know how to maintain
a pussy.

1329
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,280
Mine would stink.
There's just a lot of.

1330
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,320
Work to listen to about you.
Thank you for being so honest,

1331
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,760
there's a lot of work.
Ever said?

1332
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:01,240
Seriously, there's a lot of
work.

1333
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:02,320
And you know what?
Goes into the.

1334
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,600
Yeah, a lot of maintenance.
Spelling and stuff.

1335
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:06,640
Put that in who said it?
Because like, that's you.

1336
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:11,920
Should I I really because I I
need that sentence to last

1337
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:14,960
through the ages.
The truth is though, I don't

1338
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:18,280
think any one of us men on this
show would do a very good job.

1339
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:19,600
No.
I really don't.

1340
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,040
Just based on stinkiest pussy on
the show.

1341
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:23,360
I don't know.
I mean, based on Ian's

1342
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:24,680
apartment, I might think it
might be.

1343
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:25,600
Him.
Oh, that's true.

1344
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,200
He'd have a cockroach calling
out of it.

1345
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:31,920
That's.
Fucking disgusting.

1346
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:36,240
As much as I already take care
of my down here, trust me, my

1347
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,080
balls smell great.
Ian, that's a pretty pussy you

1348
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,480
got on you.
I appreciate it, I made it

1349
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:46,920
myself.
Oh Jesus Christ, next one says a

1350
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:49,320
friend of mine was almost killed
by her boyfriend last week.

1351
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:53,160
He's out of jail and she is
posting on Facebook how in love

1352
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:54,640
they are.
Now.

1353
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,480
If he does kill her, I won't
give a damn.

1354
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,680
Not sorry.
Wow.

1355
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,040
I think you might would give a
damn if it's your friend.

1356
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:06,400
And I think that's an awful
situation, and I hope that she

1357
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,800
can figure out how to get
herself out of that, but it's

1358
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:09,680
terrible.
To the.

1359
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:15,040
Only do what you can do.
To an extent, I almost

1360
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,680
understand what you're saying.
I don't believe the last part

1361
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:20,600
because I think you're just
talk.

1362
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,200
I think you're just saying like,
Hey, you know, I'm because we

1363
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:25,320
we've talked about this before.
People leave confessions about

1364
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,720
how I can't remember exactly
what was said, but like your

1365
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:33,040
friend was so depressing that
you, that you cut them off in

1366
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:37,160
this situation is kind of
similar because like how hey,

1367
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:39,720
how long has this abuse been
going on?

1368
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,080
He tried to kill her and they're
still together.

1369
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:46,480
I can only put up with so much
as a friend like I, especially

1370
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,680
if I've told you or had to hear
about this for so long and you

1371
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:51,720
just got some people you have to
write off.

1372
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:53,240
So what?
I agree.

1373
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:57,320
I agree with a little bit of
that the sentiment is wrong.

1374
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:01,480
The wording is definitely wrong,
but it almost sort of halfway

1375
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:04,080
kind of not really makes sense.
But how much so that do you

1376
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:06,560
think like this person who's on
Facebook now posting that

1377
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:09,280
they're in love again?
That's that's a feels like a

1378
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,600
trauma response to the shit that
they've been going through like.

1379
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:13,960
They're that.
They may be a little

1380
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,840
brainwashed, like they might
still need their friend, whoever

1381
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:20,080
that friend is, to be there for
them to kind of hopefully help

1382
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:23,080
them realize what's happening.
I, I I don't.

1383
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:28,120
I don't agree with that, but how
we, there's, there's so much we

1384
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:32,680
do not know.
So, so I, I am asking, how long

1385
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:37,120
have you as the friend, have you
known that this has been going

1386
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:39,080
on?
Have you tried to talk to them

1387
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:40,520
about it?
Have they gone through this

1388
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,920
before?
Like he whooped her ass and then

1389
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:46,520
went to jail and then got back
together?

1390
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:51,240
How, how many times has the
cycle repeated itself before you

1391
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:54,920
as a person have to go?
This is affecting my life and I

1392
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:59,560
can't do it anymore.
Well, I want to ask Jen this

1393
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:02,200
question because I because I
don't understand it.

1394
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:04,880
The guy I'd walk away.
It'd be it'd be a lot easier

1395
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:06,440
problem.
It is a woman who maybe is

1396
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:10,080
dependent and there's possibly
kids involved and who knows the

1397
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:15,640
situation and you're dependent
and almost embarrassed in a way.

1398
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:20,600
Do you know anybody like this?
And how did how would you really

1399
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:26,560
just say you can do better?
Yeah, I mean, it's as somebody

1400
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:30,640
who has gone through emotional
and physical abuse in a

1401
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,840
relationship with a partner, I
can speak to kind of the trauma

1402
01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,720
that that goes into that
response, right?

1403
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:42,000
So I was ashamed, like I was
ashamed to tell my family.

1404
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:43,680
I was ashamed to tell my
friends.

1405
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:47,920
And like anybody who knows me
now if telling them that, it's

1406
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,720
shocking to like know that I
stayed in such a terrible

1407
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:55,880
situation knowing who I am now.
But back then and I was weak.

1408
01:03:56,080 --> 01:04:00,520
I was codependent.
I was told I wasn't worth

1409
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:02,480
anything outside of that
relationship.

1410
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:05,240
And I can't tell you how many
times I tried to leave.

1411
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:10,760
But you feel so isolated and you
feel like that person is your

1412
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:15,680
only escape, your only answer to
whatever problems you have.

1413
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,920
And I did have a small child,
but it's even hard for women and

1414
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:22,440
that don't have children and men
too, men can suffer the same

1415
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:24,600
type of abuse, mental or
physical.

1416
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:29,080
So, you know, it's, it's a
really hard thing to hear a

1417
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:33,600
friend from this side say like,
you know, if, if she dies, I

1418
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:37,400
don't care kind of thing.
Because, you know, I without the

1419
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:40,520
support of the friends and
family that I had, I mean, I

1420
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:42,560
can't tell you how frustrated
they were with me.

1421
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:45,800
I mean, I tried to, after he put
me in a situation where I went

1422
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:48,280
to the hospital, I tried to bail
him out of jail from the

1423
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,200
hospital.
You know, that's how

1424
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:53,280
psychologically fucked up I was.
So.

1425
01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:57,400
Point you also you you weren't
telling anybody so and we don't

1426
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,160
know if her if this person's
friends.

1427
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,680
We don't know what, what this
person knows and how long

1428
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,840
they've been doing it.
So because I, I do have friends

1429
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,960
and I, I don't have anybody that
has been almost murdered.

1430
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:11,880
But when we talked about
somebody cut their friend off

1431
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:13,840
because they were being
depressing and all that, I'm

1432
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:15,160
like, yeah, I've done the same
thing.

1433
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:18,960
There's just so much because I
and I, I try, I try to, if, if

1434
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:20,560
you're my friend, I try to
invite you out.

1435
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,520
I try to spend time with you.
I try to talk to you.

1436
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,720
But if it's all you've got is my
life sucks.

1437
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,240
Well with me, then I, I just
can't deal with this anymore.

1438
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:34,360
So if if it's if you as the
person leaving this confession,

1439
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:40,120
like how long and how much have
you put up with personally

1440
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,800
before?
Because some people would just

1441
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:43,120
call it quits and you're a
shitty.

1442
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:46,600
Friend.
But at the same time, there is a

1443
01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:50,160
reason that on airplanes you
have to put your oxygen mask on

1444
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:53,600
before the child's because you
have to take care of yourself.

1445
01:05:54,520 --> 01:05:56,240
Yeah, there's a lot we don't
know here.

1446
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:58,560
There is a lot we don't know
here, but that's great.

1447
01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:00,840
That's a great point, Ian,
because like I said, a lot of

1448
01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:04,440
people don't talk about that.
They're afraid or ashamed or

1449
01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:07,440
whatever it is.
But you know, I know I get the

1450
01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:10,320
exhaustion of trying to be a
friend and be there for somebody

1451
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:14,760
who's just not able to get away.
I mean, you know, the best thing

1452
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:16,840
to do is or.
Not and, and trust me, I know

1453
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:20,760
what is it called.
Stockholm syndrome is very real.

1454
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:23,920
This person might feel trapped,
they might feel like there's no

1455
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:29,040
escape, but trust me, there is.
To anybody out there that's

1456
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:32,560
listening, there absolutely is.
If you would just communicate.

1457
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:36,400
Yeah, share.
With family, friends or the

1458
01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:40,040
fucking police.
Yeah, it's, it's really

1459
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:43,280
important to remember that like
I honestly, I'm a super big

1460
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:45,800
advocate for this is like, don't
be ashamed.

1461
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:50,200
Talk to somebody, tell somebody,
stand up for yourself in these

1462
01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:52,840
uncomfortable moments.
It may be the difference of

1463
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:55,560
like, not to be dramatic, but
life or death, it's really

1464
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:58,520
important that you understand
there's resources and all sorts

1465
01:06:58,520 --> 01:07:01,920
of things out there for you.
And I get it as a friend, it's

1466
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:04,160
exhausting.
You know, the person who left

1467
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:07,480
the, the the note, but just just
remember that.

1468
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,760
Try and try and look at it from
a different point of view and,

1469
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:12,920
and just try to be as helpful as
you can.

1470
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:15,600
If it gets too much, then, you
know, help them at least with

1471
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,320
resources and say, I got to take
a break.

1472
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:19,040
I got to take a step back.
Yeah.

1473
01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:22,520
If you're not going to try to
improve, yeah, that's a, that's

1474
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:25,840
a tough one as a friend.
If you're a lady who is

1475
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:28,400
struggling or maybe going
through something and you and

1476
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:31,400
you'd need somebody, you
honestly and you need somebody

1477
01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:34,880
to talk to or just somebody
that's not in your life, a

1478
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:37,160
friend or family, because like
you're saying, I see that how

1479
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:39,200
that could be embarrassing or
hard to deal with.

1480
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:41,880
You can come to any one of us
and we will help you find those

1481
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:44,480
those things that you need to
try to, to move on.

1482
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:47,920
Any one of us would be, would
would 100% be there for you.

1483
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:49,160
So.
Please.

1484
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:51,000
Yeah, and if you're
uncomfortable talking to a guy,

1485
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,960
go to Jen because Jen will
definitely help you.

1486
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:55,840
OK, so we probably.
Sit there, but I'll, I'll tell

1487
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,400
you this, I don't think people
realize this, but I know

1488
01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:01,200
everybody on this show.
Jen, I'm, I'm not sure about you

1489
01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:03,160
because I, I don't hear you
don't really share it.

1490
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:07,280
But through the years I've got a
lot of messages from people some

1491
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:11,000
you've helped me through cancer
and laughing and whatever else

1492
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,040
makes you feel good.
Then there's other situation

1493
01:08:13,040 --> 01:08:16,120
where people reach out and
yesterday actually there was a

1494
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:18,600
woman that I don't know how I
even know her, but she's in

1495
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:22,160
South Florida and she sound like
she wanted to end her life, but

1496
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:24,960
I reached out because it, they
bothered me a lot in her

1497
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:27,120
comments.
You know, and I, I said, if I

1498
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:29,960
don't say something, then you
know that I'm going to feel

1499
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:31,880
guilty for this.
There's been people on my

1500
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:35,720
Facebook, you know, I've, I've,
I kind of ignored, like I didn't

1501
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:37,200
really say anything because I
don't know if they want

1502
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,439
attention or what.
And then all of a sudden I just

1503
01:08:39,439 --> 01:08:41,800
realized they took their own
life or something.

1504
01:08:42,279 --> 01:08:46,319
So I mean, life is, life can be
very stressful.

1505
01:08:46,319 --> 01:08:48,880
We've all dealt with it.
Oh yeah.

1506
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,359
And then, you know, we deal with
it in different ways.

1507
01:08:51,359 --> 01:08:56,240
So yeah, just reach your arms
out and and try to love people.

1508
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In this world right now,

1509
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:01,720
especially with all the
negativity in the world is just

1510
01:09:02,240 --> 01:09:04,359
just have grace.
Give grace to each other.

1511
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:07,439
Try and be there, you know, give
a smile, honestly, you know,

1512
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:09,840
just a little, little happiness
goes a long way.

1513
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:11,200
I'll tell you what.
Absolutely.

1514
01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:13,600
That's why we do this show, to
try to take your mind off the

1515
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,720
bullshit, even though sometimes
we get a little heavy, like just

1516
01:09:15,720 --> 01:09:17,479
now.
I know, I know.

1517
01:09:17,479 --> 01:09:18,680
It's weird.
I know.

1518
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:19,240
I'm fine.
I know.

1519
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:21,920
And you get those messages
sometimes and it's like, oh, you

1520
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,120
just put the brakes on for a
second and you go, OK, this is

1521
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:26,080
real life.
You know, this is this is not me

1522
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:29,960
just being a fucking idiot, OK?
Let me see what I can do and try

1523
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:32,200
to help you, you know?
Then you got people who's like,

1524
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:33,960
hey, I can't pay my bills, can
you help me?

1525
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:36,680
No, motherfucker, I can't pay my
bills either.

1526
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:40,600
Yeah, pay me, bitch.
I made that mistake one time

1527
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:43,000
because I swear to God I'll
never do it again.

1528
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:46,399
Come at, come at me with your
problems, about your financial

1529
01:09:46,399 --> 01:09:49,760
problems and I'll tell you to
get fucked because I helped one

1530
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:53,800
person, they were like 40 bucks
short or they were going to, you

1531
01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:55,720
know, they, they need to pay
their cell phone bill and they

1532
01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:57,960
need their cell phone so they
could, you know, take care of

1533
01:09:57,960 --> 01:10:00,280
their kid, pick them up from
daycare, communicate with their

1534
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:02,480
dad and all that.
I'm like, fine, here's 40 bucks

1535
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:05,480
three days later.
Hey, can you shoot me $5?

1536
01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:07,240
I need a cup of coffee.
Get fucked.

1537
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:11,720
Yeah.
I actually got sucked into that

1538
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:13,720
one time too.
And then then the person just

1539
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:17,200
says Boop ignored after that.
He's got the money but you know

1540
01:10:17,200 --> 01:10:19,520
what?
I did what my heart said to do

1541
01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:22,160
and it was right.
They fucking are an idiot and I

1542
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:23,400
don't care if they unfriended
me.

1543
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:26,560
I didn't even talk about the
situation till right now but

1544
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:29,080
fuck them I hope they get
fucked.

1545
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:33,160
Not in a good way.
In a good Christian way.

1546
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:35,920
In your ass.
Like Old Testament, God strike

1547
01:10:35,920 --> 01:10:38,880
them down with the lightning.
That's my favorite God, not

1548
01:10:38,880 --> 01:10:40,920
gonna lie.
Of all, of all the gods, it's

1549
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:42,920
the Old Testament God that's.
The molding.

1550
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:43,880
The molding.
God, yeah.

1551
01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:46,040
Bitch, you're gonna be salt.
Boom.

1552
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:47,400
Yeah.
All right.

1553
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:51,320
You're gonna convince men now to
circumcise each other.

1554
01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:56,320
OK, That was the best.
All right, let's move on to

1555
01:10:56,320 --> 01:10:58,960
something real quick here that
hopefully is not as depressing

1556
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,040
as wanting to your friend to
die.

1557
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:04,080
Ian, what you got for us is what
did they do?

1558
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:05,800
We're going to play.
Yes, we're going to play.

1559
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:08,920
What did they do?
And for those of you that are

1560
01:11:09,320 --> 01:11:13,920
listening only, this segment
might not be for you because you

1561
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:15,600
can't see what we're about to
see.

1562
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:17,440
I'm going to.
I take the weirdest looking mug

1563
01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:21,200
shots in my area because I live
in Florida and mug shots are

1564
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:23,760
readily available the second
they walk out of jail to take

1565
01:11:23,760 --> 01:11:26,760
their mug shot, which it's the
last thing they do I think.

1566
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,880
And you have to decide just
based on their mug shot what you

1567
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:32,120
think they did this.
Time.

1568
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:33,960
It's not going to give.
You this time I'm not going to

1569
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:36,280
give you options because I
worked earlier and I was lazy.

1570
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:38,400
All right, that's fine.
This is why you should be paying

1571
01:11:38,400 --> 01:11:41,800
for the video version because
they some good. 499 on Spotify

1572
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:43,520
and 599 on Patreon.
Yep.

1573
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:47,240
It's hardly 39399 on Spotify.
Oh, OK, 399 that's.

1574
01:11:47,280 --> 01:11:48,400
Even better.
Even better.

1575
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:52,920
All right, So what did this
gentleman do?

1576
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:58,920
Oh, he did something perverted.
He he like he, he tried to bite.

1577
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:00,600
He tried to bite somebody's
Dick.

1578
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:06,560
He looks like a Dick biter.
Do we got multiple choices or we

1579
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:11,600
just just guess?
He definitely was in a zoo.

1580
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:15,760
Maybe he touched a monkey Wrong,
Florida.

1581
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:22,400
This is Bay County.
Getting worse my hometown.

1582
01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:26,600
Let's go with lewd and
lascivious act.

1583
01:12:26,800 --> 01:12:28,720
Yeah, that's what I was.
OK, thank you.

1584
01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:33,120
That's pretty much what I said.
This gentleman was arrested for

1585
01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:36,840
marijuana possession, no more
than 20 grams and drug.

1586
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:39,640
Equipment Possession I.
Agree, but.

1587
01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:41,680
Florida See, This is why you
don't want to.

1588
01:12:41,680 --> 01:12:43,440
Live here, judging it.
Mikey, because you still need a

1589
01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:44,920
card to smoke.
Yeah.

1590
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,320
But you get 1 easy, yeah.
It's not hard.

1591
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:51,320
But there's also card fees that
you have to pay, so it's easier

1592
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:53,720
in California to just walk in
with a fucking driver's license

1593
01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:54,760
all.
Right.

1594
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:58,640
Girl.
What did this individual do?

1595
01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:01,160
Well, that.
Little mustache right there.

1596
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:03,040
That's a rape.
That's a rape.

1597
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,760
Yeah, Beto.
Yeah, he touched something,

1598
01:13:06,880 --> 01:13:09,680
child.
Yeah, something sexual for sure.

1599
01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:12,320
OK, we all agree it was
something or you all agree it

1600
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:15,800
was something sexual.
It was aggravated assault with a

1601
01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:18,280
with deadly weapon without
intent to kill.

1602
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,360
What does that mean?
Like what?

1603
01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:26,160
Like you hold your gun wrong?
Like you're not your face like.

1604
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:28,000
Instead of in the heart, you
stab him in the leg.

1605
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:29,720
I don't know.
Like if I'm going to grab a

1606
01:13:29,720 --> 01:13:32,000
weapon I want, my intent's going
to be to kill.

1607
01:13:32,440 --> 01:13:34,360
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm saying.

1608
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:36,840
Like that makes no sense.
Retarded, actually holding the

1609
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:38,680
gun wrong.
Actually, if anything, we should

1610
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:40,520
have Rick explain that to me or
to us.

1611
01:13:40,520 --> 01:13:42,880
Like so it's a deadly weapon
without intent to kill.

1612
01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:44,360
Then why'd you have it in your
hands?

1613
01:13:44,360 --> 01:13:46,000
Maybe he just.
Pointed at the ground, he's

1614
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:49,800
like, Oh.
This guy shot it at the sky.

1615
01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:53,080
Yeah, he could do that.
Yeah, but it was an aggravated

1616
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:56,880
assault with a deadly weapon.
So the weapon must have made

1617
01:13:56,880 --> 01:14:00,480
contact with the person.
Maybe he had like a lead pipe or

1618
01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:01,920
something and the person didn't
die.

1619
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:05,880
I don't know, weird.
Here's that's This is a dude, by

1620
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:07,400
the way.
That's a dude.

1621
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:08,640
It's.
Not that's.

1622
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:11,040
Going to say she ate somebody.
I thought this same.

1623
01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:13,800
Thing when I saw that's a woman
he.

1624
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,720
Went to Golden Corral and just
said fuck it, I'm not leaving

1625
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:18,520
and they're like there.
You are so he's.

1626
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:21,880
Acting so Trespassing.
Trespassing and a buffet.

1627
01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:25,720
Knee fat fuck me.
That's not why they had to do a

1628
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:27,000
shot.
Not fat fuck.

1629
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:29,400
That's a sin, not a not a
felony.

1630
01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:31,040
Yeah, I know, but charge them
with gluttony.

1631
01:14:32,280 --> 01:14:34,160
This definitely looks like a
dude though, or a woman.

1632
01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:35,400
I was.
Going to say no it don't.

1633
01:14:35,720 --> 01:14:38,920
No, it's a woman for sure.
What did?

1634
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:43,560
What did he?
Do oh God, like just wasting I'm

1635
01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:48,440
imagine I don't know.
Like like.

1636
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:51,360
Suck your Dick.
I bet, I bet he did.

1637
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:54,240
Like Grand Theft.
Grand Theft Auto.

1638
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:56,240
Look at that.
OK.

1639
01:14:56,360 --> 01:14:58,160
Imagine what fat fucking high
heels.

1640
01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:04,920
No.
Your answers are locked in DUI.

1641
01:15:07,680 --> 01:15:09,480
I didn't take a lot to get that
person drunk.

1642
01:15:09,480 --> 01:15:11,520
They're fat, you know, they have
to drink a lot more than the

1643
01:15:11,520 --> 01:15:13,520
average person.
I get so I did.

1644
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:15,520
It's so annoying too.
Like I'm like man, these fucking

1645
01:15:15,520 --> 01:15:17,920
fat people can drink as much as
they want to and never get

1646
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:19,520
drunk.
I take two shots and I'm like

1647
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:20,880
done.
Like holy shit.

1648
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:22,800
Like I'm drunk.
Yeah, this is a person.

1649
01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:24,600
'S Scots that I had.
Dude, I'm the same way.

1650
01:15:24,640 --> 01:15:27,040
Well you don't drink that much.
I'm the same way with weed.

1651
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:30,120
I have a pan, I take one hit off
of it, I'm done for the night.

1652
01:15:33,480 --> 01:15:36,800
Get that thing off the screen I.
Know that dude is ugly as fuck.

1653
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:39,200
What the fuck, you're getting
uglier.

1654
01:15:40,880 --> 01:15:43,360
This guy, he looks, he looks
very surprised.

1655
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:44,800
Listening and you haven't
subscribed yet.

1656
01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:46,800
This is on you.
We're this is noise at this

1657
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,200
point.
Why he got that crazy, Oh my

1658
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:50,960
God, I don't know.
I'm taking a picture.

1659
01:15:51,120 --> 01:15:52,360
Right.
He looks very surprised.

1660
01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:55,360
That's like AI farted and I want
everyone to know.

1661
01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:59,080
It looks like he's in one of
those turtle suits, which leads

1662
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:02,040
me to believe he's fucking nuts
or he's acting like a fool.

1663
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:03,840
Yeah, where they like strap your
arms down.

1664
01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:06,480
I never heard it called the
turtles.

1665
01:16:06,480 --> 01:16:10,240
They would does he does look
like he's in a straight jacket.

1666
01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:14,840
I'm going to say this dude.
This dude was some sort of like

1667
01:16:14,960 --> 01:16:16,720
assault.
He looks like like battery.

1668
01:16:16,720 --> 01:16:18,080
That's what I'm thinking.
Salt.

1669
01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:20,360
Battery, drugs, drugs all.
Right.

1670
01:16:21,440 --> 01:16:23,880
It was disorderly conduct,
brawling or fighting corrupt

1671
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:27,000
moral public or public moral
decency, whatever that means.

1672
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:30,040
What is that moral?
I fight moral decency every day

1673
01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:31,960
you.
Do What does it say?

1674
01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:35,160
Simple assault.
And furtherance riot or

1675
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,640
aggravated riot?
Oh, I've been charged with I.

1676
01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:41,080
Was going to say he might have
just done some cha cha during a

1677
01:16:41,080 --> 01:16:43,840
Florida State game stroke.
That's that's, that's that.

1678
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:45,560
Was I wasn't charging a riot,
wasn't it?

1679
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:47,200
Yeah.
No, no, that one I wasn't

1680
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,080
charged for.
I did get in the bowling alley.

1681
01:16:49,080 --> 01:16:50,480
I got charged for sighting a
riot.

1682
01:16:51,360 --> 01:16:55,200
That's hilarious.
Hang on, I I'm sorry you Do I

1683
01:16:55,200 --> 01:16:57,000
know the bowling alley story or
am I crazy?

1684
01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,320
Well, my buddy, his name was,
well, at the time he was my

1685
01:16:59,320 --> 01:17:00,480
friend.
I don't talk to him anymore, but

1686
01:17:00,480 --> 01:17:03,080
his name was Scott.
He managed the bowling alley and

1687
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:06,400
we, they had a bar in there and
then they had bands and we was

1688
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:08,000
all having a good time.
And the cops came in.

1689
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,440
They were mad about the noise
ordinance.

1690
01:17:09,720 --> 01:17:12,640
Cricket cops 'cause they were
mad one live behind it.

1691
01:17:12,640 --> 01:17:15,720
Whatever I'm like we ain't doing
it then raise machine killing in

1692
01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:18,840
the name of like poop poop and
I'm partying it up

1693
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:20,520
motherfuckers.
I'm like game stopping me.

1694
01:17:20,520 --> 01:17:23,080
Guess what?
Put me in handcuffs, rested half

1695
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:27,000
the bar, and I got in charge
with disorderly intoxication.

1696
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,600
In public.
I wasn't in public, as Ron White

1697
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:32,080
would say.
I was in a bar.

1698
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:36,360
Into public.
Yeah, and citing a riot.

1699
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,960
I'm waiting.
I'm I'm wondering because if I

1700
01:17:39,040 --> 01:17:41,880
because every time if I get the
wrong cop, there might be a

1701
01:17:41,880 --> 01:17:44,720
chance that I end up getting
arrested because I every single

1702
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:48,400
time if the cops show up in the
parking lot of my bar, our

1703
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:51,600
garage door is open so you can
hear us from across the street.

1704
01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:54,440
Every time they show up I play
the bad boys theme song so it

1705
01:17:54,440 --> 01:17:57,200
takes 11 cop that doesn't think
it's funny.

1706
01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:02,560
That's funny.
I know our friend, one of our

1707
01:18:02,560 --> 01:18:04,640
officer friends, Paco, he showed
up one night.

1708
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:07,560
His lights weren't on, but once
he heard the Bad Boys theme

1709
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,800
song, he turned them on through
the siren On he thought it was.

1710
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:13,320
The hell yeah.
I would play that as a cop.

1711
01:18:13,320 --> 01:18:16,800
I would be walking around with
that song playing on my phone so

1712
01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:18,160
my people knew.
Song.

1713
01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:19,440
Motherfuckers.
Oh, I.

1714
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:22,680
Do high speed chases and shit.
I'd hell yeah automatically that

1715
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:25,520
bad boys bad boys.
Which would be awesome.

1716
01:18:25,640 --> 01:18:27,960
Dude, dude, all right.
What this what this psycho

1717
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:30,200
looking bitch?
Do Oh that's crap for sure.

1718
01:18:30,920 --> 01:18:34,000
For math math math.
Prostitution.

1719
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:37,240
Oh, breaking away from the herd,
OK.

1720
01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:39,520
Damn, she's short as fuck too.
She's only 48.

1721
01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:41,440
Oh yeah, that's.
She is.

1722
01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:43,360
She's a dwarf.
She's a short little crackhead.

1723
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:47,600
Sadly, it was failure to appear,
I know.

1724
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:49,000
What?
Boring for what?

1725
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:50,240
Though.
Crack.

1726
01:18:50,240 --> 01:18:52,640
Probably crack.
I don't want her to appear.

1727
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:57,640
Here's our last one.
Fucking God, is that a woman?

1728
01:18:57,680 --> 01:19:02,920
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, this one's rough

1729
01:19:02,920 --> 01:19:04,320
to look at, man.
I can't do it.

1730
01:19:04,640 --> 01:19:06,920
I'm just going to take her off
the screen for a second and just

1731
01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:08,040
it.
Looks like one of the seven

1732
01:19:08,040 --> 01:19:10,360
dwarfs.
Reset my eyes, yeah.

1733
01:19:10,480 --> 01:19:14,080
It looks like a don't be
druggie.

1734
01:19:16,560 --> 01:19:18,880
Yeah, drugs for sure.
I'm gonna go with some sort of

1735
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:19,760
drug challenge.
Yeah, yeah.

1736
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,720
Yeah, DUI.
And she smoked a lot in her

1737
01:19:21,720 --> 01:19:24,520
life, you can tell.
Oh absolutely, she was at least

1738
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:27,320
4 packs a day at some point.
You can tell all the wrinkles on

1739
01:19:27,320 --> 01:19:30,320
their face like that.
I I imagine she probably sounds

1740
01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:32,680
like this, yeah.
Anyway.

1741
01:19:32,960 --> 01:19:37,400
I want to suck your Dick.
DUI and damn it's the property

1742
01:19:37,400 --> 01:19:39,800
or person of another.
Oh no, that's bad.

1743
01:19:40,360 --> 01:19:42,120
She crashed.
Probably, maybe, probably.

1744
01:19:43,680 --> 01:19:45,280
I bet she got out of the car as
we.

1745
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:49,280
Say, or got out of the car, beat
something with a stick and then

1746
01:19:49,280 --> 01:19:52,760
got back in the car.
A stick.

1747
01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:54,080
What?
Anyway, who done it?

1748
01:19:54,640 --> 01:19:57,480
I like that, love it.
If you weren't, if you weren't,

1749
01:19:57,480 --> 01:19:59,120
if you couldn't see what we're
doing, you probably don't like

1750
01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:00,560
this game.
But you should do.

1751
01:20:00,560 --> 01:20:02,280
You should.
Do 1 where it's all like

1752
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:05,600
attractive female mug shots.
And then we got to decide what

1753
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:07,400
they did.
That's fine.

1754
01:20:07,880 --> 01:20:10,920
Well, I thought crazy.
And then one of them will end up

1755
01:20:10,920 --> 01:20:16,000
being a trans person.
Jesus, you gotta guess which.

1756
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:16,600
One is.
Which one?

1757
01:20:17,160 --> 01:20:18,880
Yes.
Which one has the?

1758
01:20:18,920 --> 01:20:20,040
Dick.
Yeah.

1759
01:20:20,480 --> 01:20:22,400
I like that game.
I think everyone has a Dick

1760
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:22,880
time.
We're done.

1761
01:20:22,920 --> 01:20:24,800
With it, yeah.
Because I don't, I don't fucking

1762
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:26,560
trust Jen because I'm like, they
all have Dicks.

1763
01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:28,760
Every single one of them.
It's just a Dick parade.

1764
01:20:28,760 --> 01:20:29,720
Is she trying to fuck with?
US.

1765
01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:32,800
Yeah, I see Dicks all over them.
Like Dick, Dick Dick.

1766
01:20:32,840 --> 01:20:33,480
Dick.
There's a Dick.

1767
01:20:33,480 --> 01:20:34,880
Everybody's.
And yeah, we tried it.

1768
01:20:34,880 --> 01:20:36,280
Is that an Adam's apple?
I can't.

1769
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,360
Tell.
You are we certain men on the

1770
01:20:38,400 --> 01:20:38,960
neck?
I can't.

1771
01:20:41,440 --> 01:20:45,520
Tell or real women. 100%
genuine, organic women.

1772
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:49,680
Organic Women.
You sound so genuine.

1773
01:20:50,520 --> 01:20:53,960
Genuine, organic.
These are all reasons why you

1774
01:20:53,960 --> 01:20:55,680
should be subscribed.
That's why you should be

1775
01:20:55,680 --> 01:20:58,040
subscribed on Spotify or on
Patreon, so you could see

1776
01:20:58,040 --> 01:21:00,320
everything.
And I mean you're missing out.

1777
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,480
You, you really fucking are and
we appreciate everybody who

1778
01:21:02,480 --> 01:21:04,600
does.
So make sure you do that because

1779
01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:06,560
that's the end of the show and
make sure you you only got a

1780
01:21:06,560 --> 01:21:08,840
couple of weeks to buy the the
new shirt that's on sale just

1781
01:21:08,840 --> 01:21:11,200
short of the month.
Just a reminder it is true love

1782
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:15,680
doesn't knock and you you are
not there you go exactly and and

1783
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:17,640
just go buy the shirt.
That's a great way to support

1784
01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:19,040
the show, Pete.
Those shirts are actually

1785
01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:21,160
selling pretty well.
I will be honest with you so.

1786
01:21:22,120 --> 01:21:25,160
Yeah, we appreciate the last
month's shirt on the in the

1787
01:21:25,160 --> 01:21:27,280
group I saw a.
Couple of people actually post

1788
01:21:27,280 --> 01:21:30,600
the post the the fucking dirt
squirrel shirt and the next we

1789
01:21:30,600 --> 01:21:32,400
got we got we got shirts lined
up.

1790
01:21:32,400 --> 01:21:34,240
I don't actually know what we're
going to do next month yet, but

1791
01:21:34,240 --> 01:21:37,040
we do have some shirts lined up
throughout the year.

1792
01:21:37,040 --> 01:21:40,360
So but we'll see how things go
and who who knows anyway that's

1793
01:21:40,360 --> 01:21:43,360
it I'm done I want to go I'm
done bye guys see you guys

1794
01:21:43,360 --> 01:21:46,200
later.
Hey this was really fun.

1795
01:21:46,320 --> 01:21:48,680
We hope you liked it too.
You know, we've had a lot of

1796
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:51,440
laughs tonight.
Seems like we've just begun when

1797
01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:55,040
suddenly we're through but.
I'll tell you what's not funny.

1798
01:21:55,080 --> 01:21:58,440
Bye.
Goodbye, good friends, goodbye.

1799
01:21:58,800 --> 01:22:02,320
Kevin Strippers.
'Cause now it's time to go.

1800
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:05,880
Strippers are people too, naked
people who may be willing to

1801
01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:08,280
pleasure you for a price you
negotiate later, behind the

1802
01:22:08,280 --> 01:22:09,360
curtain in the VIP.
Room.

1803
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:10,040
We'll see you.