The Gang Realizes None of Them Are Attractive | Ep 72 (Audio only)

0:01 Yo, turn it up. Crank the volume to 10. Guess what's for the crew who won't bow again? The hosts are united, ready to go. They tried to kill it, but we're not that damn show. Fucking we're back louder than you'll know. Corporate radio can kiss our ass. They fired us, tried to make us fall, but we're not that damn show. Still wrong, Uncut in bold cut. Fuck you. Fuck you. Welcome back to another mind blowing episode of Not That Damn Show, We Are America's Lives podcast.

0:46 We are all here today too and Jenna's here. Stroke Mastro is here and Bubba Bo Bob Brain is here. Ian has made his way out of the basement. Huh. Mm hmm. Got acquitted for kidnapping. Oh. Thought you were in a basement getting pegged by an old lady. That's was the rumor y'all made-up. It's believable that. You did bring that up early. If everything falls together and they don't find Miss Guthrie first. We do have a, we do have a psychic on that is going to try to help me find Miss Guthrie. And I said if she gives me enough details, I will personally bill my pay for it myself.

1:28 Fought in Tucson if that's where she's at and I will go find her. Listen, listen, listen. Let me tell you, if that Lady has is convincing enough, I will meet you in Tucson and the two of us will go find this lady. Oh, I got to tell you what she said today is I don't think I should talk about. Savannah Guthrie's mom, for those of you that don't understand, we we're going to have a psychic on the show next week. If if you know, if all plays out well and she doesn't get found. I know it's a horrible thing to say, but we're trying to, we're trying to help and we don't want her to get found until we can help, so. Does that sound? Wrong. It sounds bugged up. But it sounds wrong. Listen, she was involved. In Gabby, is it Gabby Peto? What's her? Name Tito Petito Tito, Yeah.

2:08 And then and Sebastian and a few more. So she's been involved in in helping recover bodies. So she might, she might be. Like what percentage was she helping like? No, no, no. That gab like was she just on TikTok saying videos of like I could see Gabby Petito somewhere I can. See it, I don't know, it's, it's fuzzy, but I I can see the person in a dark place. Like no shit, Graves, basements, all those things are dark. If she tells me it's 2 miles from that house and it's a pink house, I will go to every fucking pink house and I will knock on the door and I will yell. I'm sure in Tucson there's not very many. Well, yeah, I will yell for I will yell across the house and they'll probably want to shoot me. Nancy.

2:51 I'll find her. Fuck it, the police ain't doing shit. So who's this? So. So the lady's going to be on next week. What's her name? Do we know? I don't even know her name. Or her name. Yeah, yeah. Is this is it like? Madam. Something, Madam. What was it? Miss Cleo? Remember Miss Cleo? She. Was Cleo. Yeah. She. Was Cleo's dead? Miss Cleo's dead. Miss Cleo's dead, you know it was clearly didn't make no money. Did you ever watch that documentary? How they they fucked? They pretty much fucked her over. No, I didn't. I I watched a little bit of it, but I didn't make it that far into it. She didn't make anything off the Pine Salt commercials either. She was in the Pine Salt commercials.

3:32 Yeah, right. I know that, yeah. I'm pretty sure she was. Maybe I've got a fever dream. I think you're making up your black people. I think you might be. That's very racist of you. Especially in February, that's like double race that's. Funny. Yeah. What if I'm right? Then you're all the assholes and you don't know your black history. That's. Is that? Actually black, I don't. Know if you're right or not and I'm not going to look into it. Is is Miss Cleo part of Black history? I'm thinking, no, I don't. Know she wouldn't even she would she faked. It yeah, that's. What I'm saying, I mean, she's kind of part of black history because she was like one of the biggest figures of the 90s. Well, not only that, but like, she was like, you know, a big, a big celebrity in the 90s.

4:14 She was not a celebrity. Everybody knew those commercials. Everybody said it. Watch the documentary. She had to end up living with a roommate, had no money, died, broke, and Oh my God she. Wasn't financially responsible. That's not all. And if I remember correctly, she was eating pussy. She went lesbian. Doesn't. Surprise me that's. What I was just saying I remember. She looks like a lesbian, but she did. I mean she a little bit. Everyone's got a little gay in them. No, they don't. Yes they do. Yes, they. Do never had a little gay in me. Everyone's got a little fruit in their tank. Come on. I don't think so. That's I think so. Anyway, good morning, good evening homos. You're.

4:56 Gay. There's You're gay. By the way, I was telling Mikey because we don't normally do the round tables, but I wasn't here. I I did the opposite of romantic on Valentine's Day with my girlfriend. I got her something I knew she would hate but I but I think but there was there was romance intended in it I think. Jen, you're a woman. Let me know how you feel about this. Because her her mother had passed away about a year before we met. But she when we went to Universal, she told me that her mother loved ET. But it creeps my girlfriend the fuck out. Like when we're in the when we're on the ride, it's just creeping her out and I'll send her pictures of ET just to fuck with her. Well, for Valentine's Day I got her this 3 foot ET, the stuffed ET. It's a thing.

5:43 A nightmare. That ain't getting no pussy wet that. Is not a panic. Drop and it's in the front seat and she's like. Get that fucking thing and that ain't back. Well here's I got it because I thought it would remind her of her mom and she's starting to warm up to it but I it just proves that I listen to her. You're terrorizing the poor woman. Well, yeah, that's just that's kind of our thing. Is that, is that romantic in any way, Jen? In one hand, yes, because it is thoughtful. You were thinking about her memory of her mother. On the other side, you're just a Dick because you knew it would terrorize her. So I mean they both they, they, they wash each other off, I think. OK, whatever.

6:25 Just checking. OK. I don't think it's sweet. By the way, notice that it's here at my house and. Not at her. House. She didn't take it. Off there's a dog there that will chew it to pieces and she won't do a goddamn thing to stop it. Is it a feat? Was it? Is it will chew it or will it hump it because you feel like dogs will? Hump the first one, then the other? Probably, yeah. Same like a Black Widow. Well, you fucked up Valentine's Day, got it. Wrong. I nailed it. You You got nailed on Valentine's Day. I nailed Valentine's Day, Yeah. I didn't have sex on Valentine's Day. Well, that's on you, because I did. No, it's not Jen's fault. Actually, you missed the whole episode, so it's. I I got to that part, we all saw that stupid movie. Yeah, I blame Jen.

7:12 It's fine. It's my fault. Before we move on real quick, you need to make sure you are joining us on Spotify or on Patreon so you can see the video because you would never even seen his little ugly ass ET thing he's got going on. And we don't know what's happening in the back of Ian's apartment. What the hell is back there? It looks like something different. Same shit as always, it's just darker because we're recording later, later in the afternoon evening. Anyway, so you need to join us on Spotify on Patreon to support the show or if you could listen on all platforms if you want to, but you know, pay us because here's the thing, we give a lot. We give this show away for free. You listen to the show for free, the audio version for free. And then when, when the show is a little late, people like to get online and start complaining about it like it was on Tuesday.

7:57 Oh my God, calm down. I, I, we appreciate the passion. I really, really do. But if you're getting it for free, you have no room. To say anything. Now the people, the people that were now the people that were like, it's not on Patreon. I'm like, different story. I get, yeah, I get that. But if you're just, if you are only listening to the sound of our voice and you can't see my sexy face, shut the fuck up. It'll get there when it gets there. Yeah, sometimes, you know, it is just I'm, I'm doing, I'm handling most of the post production stuff. So sometimes when we record late it just becomes an issue. So that's why that happened. If anybody, I was actually wondering, but you're trying. To get them out to it on Thursday and it was late that it was late today. I didn't even know it. Somebody messaged me and I'm like, what 'cause I don't pay attention to anything, you know? They're on it, they're on it.

8:40 And then Jen went off on somebody on social I. Think. Sure did. I don't even know what that's about. I'm still I don't know what happened here. No, there is OK. So like over the last couple weeks I've noticed like people will send me messages. I've seen some comments being like one of them even likened us like having when we had the day where there was like technical issue shoes and then I was missing like they likened it to this looks like the circles app situation again, like almost comparing us to like some fucked up things like we're just taking people's money and like we're not producing anything. And and yeah, and it really pissed me off. And there was other like bitey comments and shit. And I was like, you know what, I let it go on. I know I let it go on for a little while and I'm like, you know what, shut the fuck up. I'm tired of it.

9:25 So here's. We don't have like for for a while. Everything was smooth. But you've got to understand this is not our job. We get to it when we can get to it. Like our schedules don't always match. So sometimes, like, we're recording this on Wednesday night, supposed the episode's supposed to be posted at midnight tonight, your time. That's not going to happen. It might, it might happen, it just depends on how the rest of my night goes to be honest with you. Like it takes my time away. I wouldn't even want you to do that. Like, I'm like, this show should not be your entire life. I mean, it would be great if we could make this our job we want. It to be our job. Go spend time with your fucking wife and kids. Good morning. I. Think it's fair to say Mikey is usually on time and has this damn thing up because I ain't doing shit other than just showing up the day we record. Busting his ass.

10:09 I do want, my goal is to make sure it's there at midnight. So for, for people who are waking up or people who are working late, whatever. They get the show and people wake up early on the East Coast, they get the show when they're up and they're ready to rock'n'roll. So I I do my best and if it if we miss out, we miss out. It is what it is. We're not trying to RIP anybody off. If people think that, like you're paying for the video version of this show in any extras that we put on Patreon. The extras thing is also hard too. I want people to be real like, or to be honest, like if, if this was our job, if there, if we had 10,000 people paying us to do this, you'd be getting content all day, every single fucking day. Like that's because that's what we would be doing. But you had to understand that that's not the case right now. But we might get there. Yeah, don't compare us to the circle jerk app. Whatever.

10:52 Never ever in your life do that again or just stop listening to this show because we don't need you. That's what lit. That's what the lit the fire under my ass on top of everything else. I was like, Nah, we're done. I'm done hearing it. Shut the fuck up. I appreciate that. I appreciate it. Way to get that for us. Circle jerk app. That's all. That is a big gigantic circle jerk. Here's your flag. I like cunt scab. I'm I'm here with that. Cunt scab. I think that was. I think that was it. Yeah, that son of a bitch, It says he's coming back, OK. He's talking about old scab that that's who, that's what Arnie calls him. You talking about Rob? I'll just say his fucking name. He thinks he's coming back. You guys, somebody posted it. So if also, if you're not part of our Facebook group, not just the page you need to be following us and stuff, but there's a group of community of, of damn. It's that post memes and share shit and talk shit and whatever. It's a great time.

11:42 So go join that group. Links to everything you need are in the description of this in every episode or on the website. But somebody posted a video of that guy who was an old morning show dude here in Sacramento talking about he's, he's the guy that's a big drunk. For those of you that don't know, he's an alcoholic. He ruined everybody's lives. He ruined his own life. His wife just passed away. That's really sad. But he went on, he decided to post a video of himself. I can't even tell if he's drunk or not but he's like. Wait, I was looking for in 2. Weeks we're going to be back. We're he keeps saying this, we're going to be back. We're what are you going to do? Are you going to put a podcast out there? Because allegedly you're, you got locked out of your studio and they're and they're selling your shit, allegedly. Allegedly. Oh, is that what happened?

12:22 That's what I heard, allegedly. Oh well, happy all about happy all retarded because I mean he shows suck. You did not knock jokes and then you know he he just never showed up and he sold things that he put his label on and you balled balled it. You are fucking stupid Happy you Sacramento people are stupid. He literally hired a woman who's only that's like, like, if we, if you really want to compare us to him, Jen's only job would be to laugh at our jokes and not say anything else. Like that's that's literally all she did. Yeah. Nothing important came out of that woman's fat mouth. Wow. Wow, what? Nothing. Nothing. We're in. We are not that, Joe. I will tell you that. And we're not like them. And we're not going to sell you Turkey brine.

13:03 Well, we might but it, but it would be good. We will sell you anything, but it'll be ours. It'll be our. Recipe. That's really hard. We won't slap a label on. We do have a shirt of the month that is available for about another week or so. It's gone after next week and it is the true love. I see it too. I see people are posting it online. The True Love Doesn't Knock shirt. You only got another week or so to get it. So get heading over to the website, go to the damn store and grab that shirt. Let's move on. We got a couple of random facts, so he's got some random facts for us. Let's get some. You're going to learn something. You have some random facts. All right. All right, do we all need to have random facts? I don't. Give a shit. Oh, never mind. I don't OK, a word with two opposite meanings is called a contronym. Like the word dust can mean dust that falls onto the shelves and stuff, or dust mean the act of dusting, like cleaning it up. Or eat my dust.

14:00 No, just a one word that has that can mean two different things, opposite things actually, and a word that changes definition when you capitalize. It is called a capitonym, like Polish and Polish you just change one, you take, you change it to a capital letter, it changes the the meaning the. English language is retarded. It's so. Stupid. Right now it is so stupid I fucking hate it. Every time we say we're retarded today, have a shot. I can't do that. I'm going to have. Any alcohol? I. Don't have any alcohol. Rob is loving the show today. I'll play retarded. I'm going to. Text him retarded. Y'all slow down, all right?

14:44 Scripts. Scripts for Mork and Mindy were shorter than most sitcoms because of Robin Williams. Improv sections of the script would be noted with things like Robin will do something here and then just let him go. I think it had to be so hard to work with that dude. People say it was. Like, I mean, I I respect everything he did. I loved him as an actor and as a comedian. He was OK but but I think he would be be really hard to work with a guy like that. As yeah, as and, and it's funny you bring that up. As a comedian, he was notorious for either buying other people's jokes or straight up stealing them. But most people didn't want to talk about that when the Carlos Mercia and everything happened on the Amy Schumer thing happened because he was already dead.

15:28 Oh, I did see. I didn't know he bought the jokes, but I remember when I was younger watching Whose Line Is it Anyway? And he was like on there and he ruined the whole episode because he. He was so bad, yeah. He's just all over the place. I like I like him as an actor. Yeah, I like he. He will always be the genie and Peter Pan. But when? Yeah, but when he when he was on Whose Line? I know exactly which episode you're talking about. It's terrible. And funny enough, there's an episode where Stephen Colbert was one of the four. That 1 was awful too. Like you need to let these leave this alone to the professionals. Yeah, Stephen Colbert sucks. I didn't see that. What? Did he hang himself with a belt or was it a rope? I don't know.

16:09 It was with the door, but it was with that on the door, wasn't it? It was something real, like he really wanted to. Oh if it was on the door I just assumed he was jacking off. Yeah, like you hang. Yeah, you. Hang yourself from the Raptors. If you want to die from the door, you're. Just rubbing one up. No, she's, but I think she's right. It was from the door. That's why I was like, was it a belt? I think it was a tie, if I think I remember right, but he's really. Sad the tie from going out. He wasn't, he wasn't jacking off though, right? He, he was. It wasn't one of those situations. Not that they said, but you know he. They would leave that part out doing to protect the man's legacy. He. Loves the famous guy that died. There's a word I can't think of the word. Auto Erotic. Asphyxiation. Yeah. Ian does this a lot. He knows a lot about it. Ian, Who was that guy?

16:52 David Carradine. I think that that was. Yeah, that's who it was. That's the guy, and then it was the dude from the from INXS who died the same way, the band. INXS. I wonder if it's like when you're with a woman sexually and those women like to be kind of choked a little bit. Yeah. I assume that's the same thing, but there's nobody around it and you can't just like, pat your head and rub your stomach. I can't jerk off and truck myself so I guess I gotta get a rope or a tie or something. Yeah, I only got plans tonight. Thanks Let. Me know how? Well, you got a wife that can choke you. You don't need a tie. She's not there. You know, sometimes you gotta change things up. Keep it spicy. Well, if has she choked you before? Because if if not, then that's changing things up, then that's changing things up by having her do it. No, she choked me.

17:34 I'd choke her back. I'm like bitch, stop. She might like it. I. Do choke her a little bit. I do choke her, she likes it. Let's choke each other. It's a good time. Good. That's that's that's just not information that I needed. I didn't want to hear about the chokes at strokes. That's a shirt coming up in July and showed me strokes. You got to have, you got to have like a picture of you 2 just choking each other. We're going to get a we're going to we're going to do a You got stroked shirt because that stroke goes out on the streets and fucks with people. But like, you just got stroked. Oh God, it's going to be another fucking What was that? What was that show with Jamie? Jamie Kennedy it.

18:17 Was is it punk D you talking about punked? No, not punked. It was, it was, it was like punked, but he tried to do one too. It was like a prank show. Not. Timmy Kennedy. That guy sucks. Yeah, he does suck. I I agree. There's a couple more videos, I got one of them. I'll just get people hitting ahead of time with you talk about a woman trying to lick your asshole and then you kiss her like she tried to kiss you. Afterwards. People will let me leave the bar. Yeah, well, actually. Next I imagine that. Next week we'll do another another a segment of stroking the streets. Yeah, unless we find a body, we find a body, everything is all planned, totally different. Yeah, you're gonna stroke the stroke the stroke the bounty hunter up in this pitch. That'd be awesome.

19:00 Oh, we're going straight to SiriusXM when I find a dead body. That is our dream. Stand by me, the NTDS, they don't pay their jocks that well. Unless you're like a but. They're gonna pay us 'cause I'm gonna take selfies before I call the police. Unless she's alive. Then I'm like, hey, hey, how you? Doing take a selfie real quick. I'm getting the first interview. That would get us somewhere. That would definitely get us something, sure. That's it for random facts. All right, what's this move? Unless strokes got something he said he did. No, I don't. He's a liar, I. Thought it did. Well, we can get into confessions because there are some confessions that that came in over the past week or so. And I think there's an update one for Ian too. So some of these are kind of long. I I feel like people are writing fucking like really long confessions and some of them are really stupid, but it is what it is.

19:54 Because there should be. There, I don't know, actually there might be. Listen, you can leave any confession whatever you want. There's no way of us knowing who's sending this confession is completely anonymous. You can get the link in the description here of this episode in every episode, or just heading over to Not tds.com. You know what he knows? I don't want to know because y'all leave confessions. Like I feel like my opinion of some of you would lower if I knew who you were. I'm with you on that I. Don't. Want to know, Don't tell us. I don't want to know all right, this first one here is say hey, so I ordered from green frog by your guys recommendation and the weed I got tonight just looks sad, looks old and looks like it's been on the shelf for years. He messaged the manager of green frog and they said sorry, you're stuck with what you get no refunds. I won't be using them again.

20:36 Hey look green frog they they sponsored the show for a little bit and then that was the end of it. They didn't they want to they didn't respond to any other emails or whatever. I know that they actually got people. There's one person right here, so that's on them if they didn't have a good product. The products that I got from them are pretty good. And but I will say this, my brother-in-law also ordered from green frog around Christmas time and got excuse me and ordered a a vape pen and he said it was terrible. They actually gave him his money back because it was so bad. So that's a bummer. Hopefully they get their shit together and and if you're, hey, if you want to advertise with us, hit us up. We're looking for a new weed, a new dispensary. Next one here is Why are panda bears so sad? Well, polar bears don't like them 'cause they're half black. And black bears don't like them 'cause they're half white. And koala bears don't matter 'cause they don't meet the right qualifications.

21:32 Yuck, yuck, yuck. Do you get it? Qualifications. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's funny when you explain the joke. They should have spelled Koala Vacation I would have laughed at. That. Would have laughed at that part, I wouldn't have laughed. I didn't laugh at it when I put it in here and I'm not laughing at it now. And I'm kind of annoyed that this. Person. I'm disappointed in you even including it. I know there's got to be some. Do you leave confessions out that are just so stupid because that should have been one of them or do I just leave them all? I don't usually leave anything out. I just go and order the ones that come in. And sometimes there's like a backlog of them and I try to get caught up. But I, hey, whatever you send is what comes out. And these are our listeners. And I think it really paints a picture of who these people are.

22:14 Yeah, 1% of me hates you, you racist. The black percent, I assume? All right. Well, we don't know what else he is because he won't. He doesn't talk about that. See here's a here's an example right here says this is for stroke bro. Respectfully, stroke your wife look like she stepped straight off a movie set and you look like an average white dude, but he's but 1% black. By the way, Steve's going to say that you look like an average white dude who just walked out of Target on a Tuesday. Out here living my dream. No hate man. Guys just asking what's your secret for bagging one of those wives or how does he get? One is that 1% Dick. Is the 1% black Dick? This is new listener. Great show. Appreciate you listening by the way. Thank you. No, I, I don't know, you know what it is. And, and I have talked to many women in my life and, and I don't mean all sexual guys cannot talk. Have you have you heard like like women, they go out on dates and they say guys are so born on dates and they can't make me laugh and they can't talk and they can't do this. I never had a.

23:12 Problem with that, if you've got charisma and you can vibe with somebody and talk, you immediately go from A5 to A10 in my book. Immediately, that's how immediately the three guys on this show, that's how the three of us actually have women. We are not attractive people. That's what I say like. Salesman all all three of us are batting way outside of. Our way, way outside. Yeah. It's all about like your no, no offense to you guys, your wives are out of your leagues. And I can say that same thing about my girl. We just sell our Dick. You got to learn to sell it like it's like you're a car salesman. Well, on down. I was, I was, that's what I was selling at 1st and then it was just like, I mean, it's, it's just lucky for her that I, that I, I was, I'm blessed with what I got, but the the rest of it and now I'm just selling myself as, hey, you know, you want to stick around. Yeah, you got to keep selling yourself because if not every day out, yeah.

24:05 Pop off a piece of mine also it doesn't. It doesn't hurt if you continuously date your partner. True, and you better know how to eat pussy and know how to fuck and talk dirty and all the other things that involves life. No, I would definitely, I would you, you were right there at the beginning. Like definitely if if you don't know how, like there's some lesbians that'll teach you how to do it. Just and just ask. And so I put this new confession up on the screen and for those of you that are watching, which is part of the reason why you should be a Patreon or Spotify supporter, you can see John's face as soon as it went up on the screen. I'm going to read this to you guys.

24:45 It says I want a flashlight of Ian's anus and his mouth with a little goatee to tickle my nut sack since he found someone. See what I mean when I say I don't want to know who this? Is I don't like any of this, I wouldn't want to know that either. I don't. I mean I'm like 20% flattered, the rest grossed out. I'm zero. I would be 0% flattered by this. That's because nobody wants your. That's because nobody wants to fuck your Fleshlight. I don't want another man to want to fuck my Fleshlight of me, of my mouth. No, but when Ian's go teasing your butt hole, I'm talking for personal experience. It's wonderful. Wow, so you know.

25:28 Who do you think was the confession 3 weeks ago? We wrote. We lived together for six years, so I'm like, hey, about time to eat this asshole. So you guys did it. You guys were a little gay together. That's all right. Everybody's a little gay. Told you everyone got a little fruit in their tank. Sugar, yeah. Little fruit in their tank. That we took out of context a bunch of homo, yeah. Absolutely shit, by the way, speaking. Speaking of sugar in the tank, yeah, this stroke made our midday guy at the at the radio station we used to work at cry for saying that exact phrase. He was such a bitch. You. Remember that in the tank. Yeah, because he he was he, he would come, he would come in during our show and just stand there and it started to annoy everybody.

26:13 And then Stroke just made a comment that his name was on his on their name was Mac. Like, yeah, Max got a little sugar in his tank and he went crying. Literal, physical tears. To the. General Manager. Doesn't help your case bud. Well, Ian, if we want to be honest that you're going to bring up the past stories, Mikey, remember that? Remember that time I told you about me having relations with the deaf girl? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Which was really weird. We did like a threesome it. Was that guy? 'S girlfriend, yeah, he dated her and Ian wanted me to tell him so bad on the air, coming early, yeah. Just trauma, just traumatizing. She came. On. Party and I had to pretend I didn't know her. That's good radio right there.

26:55 That's what I was. I thank. You, Mikey, you know. What I tried to say sick. You bring. You bring because he was he. Was coming. He was his show was right on after ours. I'm like, let's get back in here. Let's let's have a little bit of confession time. Oh yeah, that'd have been awesome. Oh God, that's a real drama radio right there, man, I like that. Yeah, that's weird. When they were like, make that, they made like she made like, it's African like. He's not. That's not for. Comedy she actually did sound like that because she didn't know what word sounded like, but she was a go go dancer for for a while. That's how she made money because she would Just Dance to the to the bass that she was feeling in her. Hand did she click when you were doing her? I don't that that's. OK again this is pre young horse stroke days.

27:37 Yes me and my buddy we were out and she wanted both of us and we did and then we high fived in the middle of it and she was like. Man, that's fucked up. So I felt like I can go to. That's probably because the I feel like you're going to get a hell for this, but. You're going. To the deaf, The deaf chick that I was with. No clicking, no no sound, no nothing. You both fucked the deaf chick. That's weird dude. I'm the same one. No, but still like that's like the odds of that. Jaden. I don't even know a deaf person. No, no, I've never fucked a deaf dude. Can't say I can't. I can't say half. We're all married. We're. Retarded and tied down. There's another one I will say this. She didn't make any noise, but she was screaming her hands off. I'll tell you that.

28:21 Oh my. God next one this one here says this is somebody asking us funny or am I the a hole when it's really poorly written. So I'm going to try to read this the right way. When women try to promote content on X about how great they are, I do 2 minute search to find their content leaked and share it back to their page saying guys save the money it's free everywhere and and then if I can't find it I tell them they aren't famous enough and this is also the OK. Also, I know Mike, but I have to tell you E because. The E is capitalized. I don't. Think they know this? But this makes me think if this person is being, if they're writing it like this for a reason, it might be somebody from Cleveland, because that was my radio name in Cleveland.

29:06 Mike E Mike with a Big E look. At us branching out of Sacramento, finally. Finally, Cleveland people. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's in trouble, you ask If it's funny or you're the a hole, yes. Yeah. You're you're a funny asshole. That's funny as. Hell yeah, you're you're a Dick, but that's funny. Welcome to the show. This next one is I'll tell you who I am and take good credit. Oh this is it, this what is this? I'll tell you who I am and take credit. Oh if it seems like a good idea. But I can't help but wonder how you guys miss the idea with all the Dick statements from NTDS. Not that Dick song or show from stroke. So I think we got to do a not that Dick song, strokeified song, not that Dick What?

29:49 Does that even mean? I don't know, NTDS. I'm confused. Not that Dick show, not that Dick show. I don't know. That'd be kind of hard to write. Whose Dick is it not whose Dick is it? Yeah, it was. Like the what the song's about. We don't know whose Dick it is. Is everybody. Starting a new podcast called Stroke and Dick Podcast. Stroke and Dick we put on forehead finally. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. This is how obsessed Stroke is with Dick. Going back to the old days, every intern we had, whatever their name was, that was your last name was Dick. So if your name was we had Josh, Intern Josh, your name's Josh Dick or Easy, Easy Dick.

30:34 I'm like, what is up with Why do you keep naming our interns? That you weirdo, actually. Been a while. I wouldn't defend myself, but that's true. That's what I'm saying. Well, we had a female chick on the on the show. Her name wasn't Iris Pussy. Well, it should have been. I would have been way better. That's definitely a better name. 2M pussy. We should have had all black names this this month. Oh, maybe. I don't know. What would they be like? I want to be la Fonda for real. Oh my God. I want to be.

31:19 What is? What is? What was that dog's name? Oh. Jabarcus. Jabarcus. I want to be Jabarcus. We love you blacks. We're just messing with you. I'm 1% of you so you can hate the other 99%. They probably. Do they do they do? With the Midget talk from last episode, I was terrified thinking about Midget Dicks. Did we do this one before we did? We did. Is this one Here's I'm the person who pegged Ian. It's not a lie. It's not a lie. You. Should bring that up every week. Is this, is this true, Ian? Honestly, they're pushing it. They're pushing it. And I'm. Pretty. I, I have AI have a pretty good guess of who this might be fucking with me. I have I have like maybe 3 guesses. It's either it's either no, I've never been. It's either Danny Fat back or Tim. It's one of those three that are just fucking with me. I think if it was Danny, I think Danny would have told me. Yeah.

32:16 Do you think you would have told? Me. Are you making it clear you've never been pegged? I just want you to make it very. I'm making it very clear. All right. He's serious. He's fucking serious. He's serious. He's Ian has never been pegged, according to Ian, except for this person says yeah. We call it What'd you Call it last? What'd you Call it last podcast? A pegging stick. A pegging stick. He's never been pegged with his pegging stick from Dong. If you if you actually had the testicular fortitude to let us know who you really were, come on the show and prove it. What, Peggy on the show? No whoever. Whoever is it, no, whoever this is that's saying it. Nobody wants that. Whereas this is that's saying it, let us know who you are and come on the and come on the show and tell us the story because I'll tell you right now, you are either a man that's just trying to get on the show and make and make fun.

33:07 Oh. Actually the. Voicemail. We haven't played voicemails in a while. They can tell us all about. Yeah, leave us a voicemail. Tell us the whole story. We'd love to hear that. Don't write a song about it. I should write a song about that. A peg. It looks dirty. It looks like Doo Doo. We should write a song called but that's what is the next song is going to be pegging stick. It's the pegging stick the the pegging stick. All right, last one here says why won't people protest pedo's writing the world, but we're protest federal agents doing their job? Who thinks they are protesting that? And B there is spelled wrong. Oh. Yeah, and I guess it is. So maybe, maybe learn how to spell before you come at us with politics. I don't nobody.

33:50 I haven't seen a single person protest any, well at least in America, protesting any of the pedos. They were literally outside Trump's building in New York over president. 'S day, but they were protesting ice retard. It's like. David, I want. To get in this for a second, because half of you I have our audience is really stupid and I really do appreciate you listening. But half of you are stupid because if you are on the Epstein list doesn't necessarily mean you were a rapist or you knew about child rape. You could literally everybody on the show but Jen had somebody on their Facebook one time that was called molesting somebody and we didn't know anything about it.

34:30 You could be on that list because of you just and that and. That's the guy that we communicated with. Like that's a guy that sent messages and emails and whatever. Like he was a fan of the show. Oh. God, like I posted name Courtney Cox, she's related to our town. Somebody's like, oh, she's on the Epstein list. I don't believe Courtney Cox well knew about child molestation. Here's the thing, to what extent are they in it? Because. Yeah, that was, that's what I'm saying, yeah. Like 2 weeks ago Jon Stewart was saying that he was on the Epstein list but it was because Epstein was pitching a show to somebody that John that they're like what a like a Jon Stewart type show. Elvis is in these Elvis is mentioned in these emails. Fucking fucking Kurt Cobain is mentioned. It just because the the names that were mentioned doesn't necessarily mean anything.

35:17 And they they redacted all those names and then about a week later they released a list of all the names that were redacted but didn't connect them to the emails. It's just here's the list of the names that we redacted. And so people were seeing this listener like what? How the fuck is Kurt Cobain on there? Is this bullshit? There's like, no, it's not. Yeah, that it's. Like that you. Being mentioned is. Not is not is not an omission of guilt and what struck saying is 100% accurate because this is for the the, the Patreon and the subscribers. This is a photo of the, the party that I had three nights before I moved away to Sacramento. I had all my friends there. OK, this motherfucker right here three months after I moved to Sacramento was caught with child porn just because. He's in my photo.

36:05 Does not mean anything. I was and do you real? Do you know how quickly and how like how quickly I wrote him off like because people were like, well, he he was accused of it. I'm like, I don't give a shit because one that's something you don't walk away from because they're like, oh, did you remember Brad? This is what happened to Brad. I always hated Brad. I always say to. Brad, I would rather be associated with a murderer than a absolutely. Than. A real, you know what I mean? If I if I knew, we all probably know somebody that's a pedophile. We just don't know because I wouldn't associate with them. Well, they're good at hiding it. I mean, a lot of people are really good at masking that shit. Like to a certain degree they really are.

36:46 It is. I hope everyone of them tunes out and never listens again. And I hope you get hung. I will say that's. What I'm saying like why? Like why are there no like because Florida just passed a law Like if you're caught molesting or fucking a kid under 12, you get the death penalty. I'm like how? That number should be a little bit higher. Listen, so and I know that we all agree with this. First of all, the government has had these files for a very long time. It was before Trump. They've had them for a long time and they didn't release the files, but they knew those names were there. Somebody went through those fucking files and then redacted the fucking names. Some of those files that have come out are disgusting. Some of the shit that they have done and said is so fucking nasty it's unreal. Those names are redacted. So who the fuck redacted those names? Why did they redact those names?

37:29 And why are those people whose names were redacted in jail? Who actually who? They can prove that they did something. Answer for it now. Answer for it now, right now. Why are we, what are we doing? What the fuck are we doing is this? Crazy. Yeah. It's it's like that. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, you, you get the people blame left and right blames different politicians, but what are they really? Did they really do it? Like, did they do it? Did they not do it? I don't know. Here and and, and one thing that I will say because you know, people on and I really didn't want this to get political, but I'll say people on the right are very quick to be like well y'all are protecting Democrat like I right or left. If they did what they are accused of doing, fuck them. Fuck, turn it down.

38:13 Turn it down if. They're on the right. If they're on the left, fuck I. Don't care nobody. Cares. I give a. Shit, I agree, but then I see things where like when they try to blame Trump at one point and then the defense attorney that actually represented the Epstein says the guy never said anything about him, said he had nothing on him. Then I see these other emails where him and his brother's talking back and forth. I'm saying there's a lot of bullshit. We don't even. You just don't know what the fuck's true. That's the problem too, is there's a lot of shit out there that's fake and then there's a lot of stuff that just is missing contact. So it it is really confusing, but there's also some stuff that really is legit and is solid. Like Bill Clinton's supposedly picture on the wall. I mean, I only know what I've seen, but is that true?

38:55 I don't know. That actually that painting. Is real but do but because, and I've I've heard this a lot, really didn't want to go there. But there are so much of the files that have yet to be released. Do y'all believe in full transparency? I do. OK, so you want I. Do if they want it all out there, give us the yeah, yeah, I want. It all out there and if you're guilty? Everything. I don't care. Everything. They're saying that, well, if we, if we, you know, investigate everyone that's on the list, the system will collapse, then clamp. It down. On this. I've shared, I've shared a few memes like that where it's like they're funny and I'm like, this is for real. Burn that shit down. I'll take that deal. I'll make that deal right now.

39:35 Burn the shit. Burn it to the ground. This is not OK. Not OK for me, not OK for my children or my children's children or anyone who came before me. This shit is disgusting. Burn it down, I don't want to live in. If it's not my little pedophiles then any of them. Then burn Rome to the ground. Yep, baby eating fucking weirdos. Let's get into Florida, man. Florida. Man, now breaking all the headlines. Crocodiles. Down. From the Keys to the Panhandle, he don't quit living life loud with a wild misfit Florida man living on the edge every day's loco. He's got a a legend in the Make it. Say it if you can. There ain't no one crazier than Florida Man. Before you get started.

40:19 Yeah, changing the tone up a little bit here. Needed to change the tone up was get a little too heavy. I say this a. Lot we get too heavy. I missed the fart jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. Play that big thing again, Mike. Yeah, I could just. Do. We're all feeling. Better. I'm a best better. There you go. That'll make everybody laugh. Hey, we go. We go. We go in a lot of places. That's what we do here. We do. All right. So last week, police here in Florida confronted a 30 year old man because they thought he resembled someone with an active arrest warrant. When they asked him his name, he says his name was George Costanza. Do you remember that?

41:01 That's great. That wasn't his name. I mean, that could be somebody's name, possibly, but that was not his name. They later identified him as and I, I can't, I usually I don't mention names because it's boring. But he's Joshua Darling, which is a That's just such a stupid name. Joshua. Darling. Yeah. Darling. No. You know what? It's. I think it's Josiah. I think I read that wrong. Josiah. We're not talking about his first name here. It's the last name. That's stupid. Yeah. Josiah. Darlene. Josiah. What is Josiah? Is it like Mormon? Sounds more like Amish, yeah? No, he was then arrested on trespassing a warrant along with an out of charge for resisting officer. Somehow they used facial recognition for this. That's a lot going into this for trespassing, wouldn't you say? Oh shit, right.

41:47 What was he trespassing on? Jesus. If they're using facial recognition to find people trespassing, we are fucked. The world is fucked. Like I hate to get home. I know we're. Fucked. You can't even get away with murder Harley these days anymore, unless you're taking out Miss whatever her name is that he has got in his basement a quid. In. Miss Guthrie? No, apparently nobody has any cameras. I know. That story's not adding up to me, but. I there's a lie not adding up to that dude, that's why we're going to send fucking stroke the bounty hunter down there and you're going to fucking find her. Well, if I die, just come to my funeral, please. I just need at least four of you. I'll. Be there. OK, I did it for this show and all these three sons of bitches.

42:28 I'll make sure there's three strippers there like you always wanted. Yeah, I don't think it's all these three sons of bitches who ain't paying this. I'm going to have to pay in my own pocket to get murdered when I take down the GET. To pay out of your own. Pocket Mexican mafia. What kind of fucking damn it is that? I don't understand. I'm so confused. I'm going to have to pay myself to get murdered. Nobody will just murder me. I don't know. You know what? I'm a fucking write a ransom note to TMZ and like, got her. She ain't going nowhere. I think everybody should write a ransom note to TMZ. They're reading them. They don't give a fuck, man. They're like, I don't even know if this guy's real or not. We'll just read it anyway, OK? Yeah, that one, that last note said what will you give me one Bitcoin one, yeah. It's worth way less than what it was a couple weeks ago, yeah. It's worth like 67,000 but now they're giving you a $250,000 I think I heard today.

43:22 Yeah, Jesus. Christ, I think I'd they don't trust the FBI, 'cause when you when you call Crime Stoppers and shit, they always try to fuck you over. Always. Take your money. Dude, I don't want to pay. And I remember too, when 'cause I was in like 6th grade and they were talking to us about Crime Stoppers. I'm like, I'm about to rattle on all you motherfuckers if I catch you, but but a officer friend of ours is like, don't even fucking bother. You're not going to. You probably like the odds are you're probably not going to get as much as you think, or if you get paid at all. That's bullshit. You have to pay taxes on that. Good question. Not the Bitcoin though. No. Well, whoever that was, huh? Maybe they knew something. A political argument at a place in Cape Coral escalated into an unusual incident when a 55, I'm sorry, 59 year old man allegedly threw a cupcake at a city employee.

44:15 Get it did. They call him the Man. Nearby the The guy still had frosting on him. He didn't clean himself up. Yeah. He claimed an employee had thrown the cupcake at him instead. Officers noted that his behavior and speech appeared like he was disorganized. And in Florida, it's called Baker Act. California, I remember it was called. 5150. 5150 where they put you in the loony boom is that. Baker act for a man with you a cupcake. It's kind of funny. Yeah. So in Florida, we like put him in the Baker Act. I don't know why we have it that's called that here and other states are different, but well, you're taking the. Stand your ground law. Other places it's castle doctrine. It's just depends on what state. What's so crazy about throwing a cupcake?

44:55 I mean besides, you know, ruining. Wasting a cupcake a that's crazy behavior because I you throw, you bring me a cupcake, I'm going to eat it. I don't want to throw it. Yeah. So are you telling me that if I go down to the City Hall in my town, I throw a cupcake, you guys are going to bail me out? No, absolutely I would. Have Patreon subscribers to bail. You know, that's actually a good point. I'm gonna. Use my own money. Actually anything you need to subscribe just in case we need bail money for one of us. Probably stroke. Probably, probably, probably. A large fight broke out this past Sunday on a pickleball court and Port Orange Country Club involving 20 people, including several seniors. That is the most Florida sentence I've ever heard in my life.

45:38 I need you to read that to me again. Pickleball Orange fight 20 people seniors. Yeah, that's just. You got it. You got everything right? Yeah, according to police. So. Much in Florida in one sentence. It started when a 63 year old player accused another man of rules violation. I don't even know how to play this fucking game in global I thought. It was just big tent or big ping pong. People take it way too seriously, man. They're building a whole pickleball thing over here right by my house. Oh. They haven't. The my result was just weird or Ian do your research real quick. The other player accused the other one of a rules violation involving the kitchen area. It says quote kitchen area. Fuck.

46:19 I don't know what that means in pickleball. Ask our sponsor ChatGPT. I am talking to our sponsor ChatGPT right now to try to figure out what this is about. And after the match, the argument escalated when he insulted the other player's wife. Like whore, your wife's a whore. So the kitchen is the non volley zone. The non yeah, that's what you're looking at right now. According to our sponsor Chad GBT, you cannot volley while standing in the kitchen. Wherever the kitchen is I don't know, but it's the non. It's basically the the the middle area of the court. He. Can't do that. Well, this dude was sending this dude's kitchen and he punched the man in the face and then he struck him with the paddle, which I think is awesome. Right above the eye. Well, I mean he's also say he punched another man and pushed a 70 year old woman to the ground. Now that ain't cool.

47:05 You can't be hitting a woman. His 51 year old wife was also involved. His face. Felony charger for battery on a person over 65. Remember the rule, if they're 64 you can beat their ass. They're 65. Nope. Elderly. Oh God. One day for their birthday, beat the shit out of them. Fuck yeah, you're not going to be able to do it anymore. But. Yeah, dude was all up in his kitchen. It's the whole point is to prevent people from camping by the net. They say, OK, all right, to keep it all fast because we're not so close to the Nets. I mean, I guess that makes sense, yeah. Because that way you're not just, you know, like, like volleyball basically, you know, you can't be spiking it the whole time.

47:46 I know more. About pickleball now than I did 5 minutes ago. Me too, which is last story. A 47 year old man here in Florida got into an R game with some teenagers at McDonald's this past Saturday night. They say it's unclear what started it, but the guy was so mad that he it says he heaved a Doctor Pepper at the teens. There's a there's tossed, throw and heave. Obviously everybody knows that. What was what was the difference between tossed and heaved? I'm serious. You got to, you got to like. He has a lot more stank on. It, yeah, you got to like really fucking mean it, like hug that, toss something, you kind of just toss it, you know, like yeah, yeah. Like a granny shot basketball kind. Yeah, if I.

48:27 Leave something at you. I'm not expecting you to catch it, I'm expecting it to hit you. Yeah. OK, well, well. He heaved his Doctor Pepper at the teens. And then we're going back to 1990s because no one does this anymore. He pulled out his pants and mooned the teenagers. Good for him, although although they're teenagers, maybe we don't do that anymore. I. Do that all the time. Then he smacked his left ass cheek. What? Yep. He made it weird. Hey dude, this. I was rooting for him until then. Yeah, yeah. It was like, oh, still there. I remember when people just mooned you for, you know, it was just fun, like a. Teenager, you just. You can't do it anymore when. The last time somebody moved somebody in a moving car.

49:09 It's been a. While I I was in my early 20s. It's been a long time for me, but I miss it. But amazingly, because I'm driving everywhere I go, so I'm never, I'm never a passenger. You can't do it. Yes, I certainly can. If I knew that anybody who watches this has to be at least the age of 18, I'd show my ass to you right now. But I can't 'cause I'm I don't want to be on the list. Like what you what you in for? That one time Stroke was in town and he caught me driving and he was filming me. I'm like, dude, if I if I was in the passenger's seat, I'd mooned your ass. Yeah, well, I can't guarantee that there is everyone up watching. This is over the age of 18. There's no way. To and that's what I can do it. That's all I need to do. If you're on a sexual list of like can't I got a knock on my neighbor's door and be like.

49:52 We don't have bail money. I'm Moon to everybody. It's fair to say though, you, you mean you got to be at least 18 to have a credit card, right? And or even I guess you don't really need one. To you don't need to have a debit card. My kid watches my Disney Plus subscription. All right, Yeah, the, the card's not in his name. It's on mine. That's true. And there's R rated shit on there. Yeah, I better that is true not not get on the list that's. The best. That's the best thing to Yeah, that's the best thing to do. Just stay off the list. There was that one time Ian got up and his whole ass was hanging out though, but that was an accident. It was. It was into last. It was like crack of it though, right? Just like the tip. Cracky. But it was his whole crack. It was. It was a lot of crack.

50:34 It was a long crack, it was. But if we're at Walmart, Ian walks find his ass crack is showing. I don't think they're going to put him on a list, but if he pulls out his Dick and he pisses outside of Walmart, definitely on the list. That's yeah, that's a list. Yeah, even if a little bit of your Dick is showing, like you could get away with a little bit of your ass showing, but if any part of your penis is showing any. More balls. You can't just show a little tested. You can't just show a test little not just. A little a little test. I only showed like a millimeter of my Dick. I only showed one nut I. Didn't even know that was just. Even know I didn't show both of them so I feel like as you get. Like So what if? What if my zippers down? And because that happens, sometimes you forget it and just a little bit of a testicle comes out. Am I on the list? It depends on where you are and who's complaining. If you're at Walmart, my list, you're on my list. Yeah, but Walmart?

51:19 Walmart my I don't know, my left testicle is hanging out just a little bit and somebody could see it. That's what I was going to say. Like if you're if you're at Walmart, something's probably going to complain. But if you're at Mikey's house, probably Mikey's not going to complain. Listen, if you're walking around and your Dick falls out, it's possible because you might not even know. You know what? I mean, you may. Not even realize it. You may not if your zipper's down and maybe you're free balling. Maybe you don't even have boxers on or underwear on. And your zipper boxers since 2010, I always know when my zipper's down. So you're free. Balling all the time. At all times it it. My girlfriend does not understand how I do it, but I haven't worn underwear in 15 years. What? Wait, hold on. What's sad is I knew this because you said that when we were on the radio before and I had to sit. Next to I don't make it a.

52:02 Stupid of hiding it because I just don't care. God, it's not a thing that's important. Well, if it. Was. Important had my penis out, my zip run done. Can you imagine everyone of those late night shows would just make fun of a guy named Stroke with his Dick out and then. Absolutely they would. And then I'd be on a list, and then I have to explain to the judge how it was an accident. Like yeah, no. Way you'd be on Jimmy Kimmel. So a man named Stroke something about married himself. According to ours, our sponsor chat ChatGPT underwear is very important and it's for hygiene reasons, moisture control, support, temperature regulation, infection prevention, I could go on and on and on.

52:47 Oh no please explain some of those things because you're just throwing out things and not looks like like for example hygiene. I keep my balls and asshole very clean as it is. So for hygiene, your body sheds skin, sweats, lots of other things are kind of produced underwear absorbs that in is so that your jeans don't have to. I do laundry regularly, so that's. Unless you're washing your dandem every single day, man. Well, I change pants. I don't wear the same jeans every day. But you wash them before you wear them again, correct? Yeah, usually. I. Mean if I'm just. Always. You need to 100% wash them well every. Time. If I if I'm if it's a layer, if it's a layer on the House day and I'm off work, I might wear the same jeans I wore yesterday.

53:30 But if I'm going out and I have to work, then yes, I'm not an animal. So, but Ian's pants ladies, if you get get a pair of them, they smell like Dick. The most important thing on here though is confidence. It says that nobody talks about this, but good underwear changes posture and comfort so. That's just not true. That's according to Hey, listen, this is our sponsor ChatGPT. You need to watch watch your mouth. We we trust them. Well has that if that if that check hasn't cleared yet, so I don't give a fuck. All right, now that we're asking all these weird questions, anybody wear Whitey tighties? I don't. I do not I. Wear boxer briefs. Boxer briefs. I have some but I don't really like them, I just wear. Boxer. I don't like them either. I'm just a boxer guy.

54:12 My wife wants me to wear boxer briefs because she likes the way it, you know, aligns your fucking package and shit. But. Yeah. Anyway. Panties. I don't know what to say. And now that's a trip to HR Thanks. Now it's weird. And now Manny, I know that makes sense. I hate going to HR. There's no good answer for that. There's not so much. There really isn't. There really isn't. Let's just move on and get into Craig's lust. It is my deepest desire. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust? Yeah. Too desirable to be real. Craig's Lust. All right. Already in. Because I and I and I apologize to everybody that left a suggestion on where to go.

54:56 I didn't have the cities that y'all had left me available to me. So I'll have to go back and look. But today I felt like you know what? I don't think I've done this city yet. Let's take a trip to Sin City and see what those fucking guys. That's a good idea, Vegas. That's. Smart. Oh yeah. What do they still? Give out those cards, you've been there when they give up, I think. They do. I think they totally still do. When I hand out like the sex cards. Yeah, call this number. Clark County's illegal to buy a prostitute. Don't ask me how I know this. Everyone knows this. Oh, do they? Everyone. Everyone should at least. But if you don't know, hey, we're going back to random facts, Struck will teach you something. Yeah, Clark County, you can't.

55:39 They'll give you the cards. You can call right outside and that's where you can go get you a hooker. I heard, I heard. Anyway, visiting for gangbang. Will be in too. They will be in, they'll be in Vegas. I don't know if this is their ultimate goal, but it's definitely one of the things they're going to try to do. We'll be in town March 27th through the 30th. We'll be hosting in Harrah's Easy access. Find me face down, ass up, taking loads. Hope to get a gangbang going. Let's set it up. Wow, Jesus Christ. Again, This is why you should pay for our Spotify and our Patreon because if you give us more money, I'll be able to take more trips and I'll go interview people during gangbangs.

56:25 That would be so awesome. I always wanted. You to be able to do that. I almost we we were so close to making that a reality. One time I swear to God, stroke sent me to a gangbang live on the air. It was the dumpiest, garbagiest motel I've ever been to in my life. I get because our we had a listener who was an open, openly admitted swinger. We called him Swinger John. He's probably still listening. I hope Swinger John gave us a call. He's like, hey, there is a gang bang going on at this hotel right now. I just left. It was on Craigslist and I answered the advertisement. Here's the address and stroke was like, Ian, get in your car and get your ass down there now. So I haul ass like 30 miles maybe, probably less. I get to this dumpy hotel.

57:14 Dude answers the door. He's got to be at least 60 years old. He's got no shirt on, but he's got boxers on. And I, he opens the door, just, he opens the door just a little bit, and I see this Moat and I see the inside of this motel room and this fat, nasty whore laying in the bed covered up with the. Sheets. And I went and I'm on the phone with Stroke, who is live at this point, and I asked them, hey, I'm with the radio station. Do you guys mind if I ask you a couple questions? Slam the door in my face. I'm here to ask you some questions. What the fuck? Pull your Dick out first. We don't want real serious questions. We just want to know like, hey, what's your favorite topping on pizza while she's being fucked by three guys?

57:57 Do you think Aaron Rodgers should retire? Anyway, that was a nice trip down memory lane. Looking for feminine trans girls to play. Looking for feminine tea girls to play with. Experiment with and see what's up. Open to three with my hot significant other lady as well. Got head from a tea girl one time and kind of liked it. No. All right. UT that means a transformer. Yeah, yeah. Tea girl. Yeah. Sell me your used thong. Sold. How much? How much?

58:37 38 year old man, I'm interested in buying your recently used thongs, preferably stained with your cum and smelling really strong. If you're interested, just DM me. Send me the link I. Was going to say, Jen, if you want to, I mean, if you want to send this guy, I mean sold. I don't know if he wants to meet in person or if you can do like a U PS: kind of thing. But I mean, if the price is right, you'll probably do it right. I'll seal that bag up nice and tight. If I was a woman, and I know we've all said this shit, I would I would sell my underwear. I'd have an only fans. I'd be the the huge perv. If I was a hot woman, I'd be huge pervert on. I'd make so much money off dumb men. Oh my God. 'S obviously just yeah, not, no pun intended, dip my toe in the water. I'd sell my feet pics, I don't give a fuck.

59:18 I did say up recently for feet Finder but I haven't added anything yet really. I did be. Careful, that's a slippery slope. You're you got dude, there's damage right now. They're like going to message you. Where can I find your feet Finder? I'll tell. You what I. Promise you that because we want Jen to be as successful as possible when when she gets it up and running, we'll include the link in the description. Yeah, if you, yeah, if you really will promote it. I think I'm going to go by Sacramento's maybe. Yeah. If that's not already. Taken I'm being. Fucking that's really good. Did anyone realize I got my question answered about the painting? What was the question? Oh yeah, that's true. Roundabout way, baby. Yeah, yeah, I'm asking if she wore panties and she if you offered, she based offered a sell. Gotcha.

1:00:01 Yeah, what is it Japanning by the vending machine when you use panties? Yeah. We need to set them up around America. I don't know why we don't have them for perverts. At least in Vegas and New Orleans, those fucking weird cities. Yeah, Throat demon. Throat goat. Now this is a throat. Demon. 27 year old female. My throat is open 24/7. I love being used. I love I love a Dick that's just used and still have a little juice to it. I'm that girl that does groups to bring the whole family which don't say that. Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know, need a nut.

1:00:44 My job is to get it out. Bring me that Dick here and let me clean it. I'm a riff. I hate Rex Break. Do something different and nasty to me. Lately I've been into sense deprivation. I love a good dark room session or glory hall. That's from throat Demon. What's Gloria? Does she mean by the juice that you just were inside somebody else or? Does not let you figure that out. Do we need do? Is it a she? Do we know it's a? Yes, it is a she. Oh, OK. And finally visiting Vegas hotel. Bang and go visiting Vegas looking to make it a good visit. Schoolgirl pump and dump hosted in private hotel. Pump and dump?

1:01:30 That sounds like a crypto thing. You'll pump up the cryptos and then they dump. It, yeah, that's a pump and dump scheme. That's the real thing, yeah. I'm thinking about breastfeeding. That's what pump and dump, pump and dump. It works for that too. Invest in the pump and dump crypto. Girly is petite, 55, pretty face, beautiful ass waiting in a mini schoolgirl skirt, stalking and high heels seeking well endowed men. Walk in, find girly on knees or head down, ass up, pump and go. Very discreet play for those attached. Must be well endowed, safe and clean. Please be serious. Send stats and a pick to be considered like. I won't respond without a pick.

1:02:10 I'm out number one. I can't because I'm married and #2 it says well endowed twice. So I just got an average take. But that 1%? I don't. I wouldn't even if I was single. I would not right never. Never pump and dump. No pump and dump. No dumping and no no, that's a baby. Pumping and dumping? No. No, thank you. Oh, that's a new shirt. That's gonna be a September. Shirt pumping, pumping dump, not that damn show pumping I would. Wear that shirt. It's man, you would wear that shirt, OK? It's like peeling an onion with you. I mean if it was like if it was the innuendo was crypto maybe.

1:02:53 We don't have a crypto coin yet. Let's make one. I think everybody can make one, yeah. Right. And that one then, yeah, Hop. To a that hop to a girl made us. Say, but her career and her and that bitch's career is. Over, yeah, but she made a ton of money and then it got pumped and dumped and she got a ton of money and now she's doing only. But now she's being fucking sued. But now she's doing what's that streaming service Twitch and but she's but only like 8 people are watching like her. That bitch's career is over. That sucks. Oh, she says. I took a RE marketing idea. All the time with you on that, Yeah. I come up with marketing ideas like last episode about five of them. I got another one you did. We can do the whore of the week and then women have to tell us how they're such a whore and then we give them a shirt. Or men.

1:03:34 Yeah. Or men do dirt squirrel of the week, dirt squirrel of the week, dirt squirrel of the week. I like it. But maybe we could just even just if we find a news story or something happens, you know, you hear a story about something that's going on, we could make that the dirt squirrel of the week. But it's got to be sexual. Yeah, in some way. And then. And then if you're if you want to submit, feel free to tell us your sex Capades and we'll decide if you're the dirt squirrel of the week. We could technically leave your name out, but we'll know where we got to, Mel it to. But we'll just see. You're always going to be a whore, men and women. Jen, I'm sorry, I was being attentive. That's OK. No, no, no, it's fine.

1:04:15 I don't recommend typing in sex arrest because it's all child. It's all it's all people arrested for child porn. So that was. About damn it, yeah. Because I was like, well let's find this as fun as the dirt squirrel of the week. Nope, it's a man for child porn. Another marketing idea. What's that whore that that bangs like 300 dudes in one day? Bonnie Blue. Yeah, we can give her a shirt and she'll wear it during her porn. We will be. Famous. Oh God. I don't care if she like. If they, if she. Like rips? It apart. Dude, I tell you what, that was like what we were trying to do with with when we were on the radio. We were trying, we were giving those shirts out to a bunch of people. Like anybody that would wear them and take a picture is like we were trying to find a porn star that would wear one. We're like only fans, girls. Anybody but when I but when I pitched to Peterman that we clothed the homeless with our shows and call it Hob overtizing, he was suddenly against that.

1:05:03 Well. Well, we don't have no rules now. Because we can do whatever we want to, but that means we got to. Buy the shirts Hand out our shirts to the homeless. Hold on, if we had a consultant like radio they would say get the fuck off the podcast. Yeah, it's cancelled. Cancelled. A good consultant would be like you guys are fucking brilliant. They're all like 90 years old and they're like, you can't do this. You got to follow this rule. So stupid. I got to follow no rules you. Can do whatever we want, but I don't want to buy a bunch of shirts and give them all the homeless people. No, just whores. I just feel like then I'd have to Jen would have to do that.

1:05:45 Horse needs horse needs horse needs shirts. I think my wife. Needs. Shirts too. Horses need shirts. OK, because they're not wearing them. Homeless people need shirts. Well, well, I will do. Fuck shirts that we do know about that one guy. Wait, because. Yeah, because, well, there's there's, there's certainly every day on on strokenized way to the radio station in Sacramento. We always pass. We go the same route and always pass the same fucking person. Put a shirt on that guy. It's cheaper than a billboard because the same people are going to see it and you don't have to worry about your advertisement playing at a certain time and somebody might miss it. That dude's always on that corner. Who Christina can make him one? Thank you.

1:06:27 I think I would. Rather, his brain is turning. He's like, yeah, maybe we do need no. Because I'm feeling. Good points. No, I just feel like the the association, like the shirt, like not that damn show on a homeless person. I don't feel like it helps. What do you mean? It don't helps. We are. Losing. Somebody. Yeah, we are doing a good deed. It doesn't, doesn't, yeah, But the only people that know that are the people that are listening to us. And it wouldn't the people who are driving by and did. We did, we instruct him as we give him a shirt. Hey, hold up your sign but also point to the logo. So it's free labor, it's a little bit clothing and but free. I just got to share something with you since we're really on this topic before we move to the next one. I went to the Goodwill the other day and my station will not give me a shirt, like a real shirt. Like they only gave me a listener shirt and I found our radio stations in the Goodwill for dollar fifty and I bought the jacket 'cause I needed one.

1:07:20 It's so sad. No, that's fucking funny. That is radio right there you should go to work with. Like look at you. Look at my new jacket I got from fucking Goodwill because you guys won't even give me one. If I see a Not That Damn Show shirt at the Goodwill, I'm burning that Goodwill to the ground. I bought them. I spent $3. I was like, I can't have this in here. We look shitty. But I, I know that there's the, the people were finding like the old, that old morning show, they were finding their shirts in Goodwill. And no, we cares. About them. Oh, all right, so we got to do the digital dumpster and we're doing a digital dumpster a little different this week. Each one of us besides Ian, because he was he had to work and kind of missed out on some of the things. But each one of us brought videos to do digital dumpsters when we go and we find the the weirdest or just the craziest videos that came across our feed in the past week or so or at any point in time. And these are the ones that we have for this week. And each one of us, like usually it's just me, but I like it that everyone brought something this time because then I don't have to sit there and my whole feed, by the way, is just terrible singers.

1:08:19 And I'm going to start and we'll move on with that. So I'm going to start off, I'm going to go first because I just want to get this out of the way. And we're only supposed to bring 2, but I actually brought 3. And here's the first one. I blame you because I'm getting the bad singers too, Mikey, I text you, I go. Why am I getting all these fucking terrible singers? I'm not getting any, thank God. Lucky you. So, Jenna, are you having problems? I told my children to shut the fuck up. Oh, nice. I like that. Shut the fuck. Up. All right, so this is, I don't even know what this lady's name is, I forget, but here's her singing. I know this one.

1:09:11 I know this one. You do. I'm glad it's not just me. Because so when this lady, when this fucking lady came up on my feet, I'm like, I have to go to her profile. And so the very next thing I see is this hear people say my sound is weird. What? Good. Normal never changed culture. If you get it, welcome. If you don't, also fine. It's also fine woman. It's fine. Keep scrolling. Oh, I might as well keep. Scrolling. That's being said. Oh.

1:09:52 I just response to what's strategically useful. The day isn't that day. The day is not that day. OK so for those of you who can't see this, she's got she's terrified, she's cross eyed and has A5 head. And I didn't know her. Like based on this her eyes look fine. This song's fucking fire, dude. You should do that. You. Should agree with that. Mikey, it's your video, you need to go give us a pair of. Lyrics. Yeah, but apparently she only knows a dance move and that's the white person thing. Every one of her videos is is that part of the song? And then her saying something crazy to the camera, like we're looking at it with one eye, fucking looking the wrong way, and she's just like she's terrified. I think she's retarded.

1:10:51 I never. Thought I would say this. I never thought I would say this, but I think Brenda Kay is looking a lot better. Oh, as Brenda Kay is Grammy winning compared to That's what we need to do. It just try. It's just like just try to constantly find somebody either worse or just see who ends up like they. Have the. Gracies for movies. They don't have an anti Grammy but that's not that damn show. Can. I won't Mikey to do a parody. I'll find the beat. I'll fucking make it. I'll make it about. Not that damn show. Not that damn show, not that damn. Show.

1:11:32 Yes, yes, yes, yes. All right. Play it one more time. All right, one more time, one more time. See. OK, at least this one I can laugh. At Oh, she thinks she's hot shit too, you know that right? Like the way she's moving, she's got a little tight shirt on, little boobies bouncing around. She's not. Can you imagine her like, on top of you riding you and you're like, I don't know what she's looking at? Oh my gosh, which way you're looking, lady? The the the the the the the the Dick.

1:12:12 When you bring when you bring a female to orgasm, you want her eyes to either cross or go into the back of her skull, but those look like they got lost on the way. When she, when she? Comes. Her eyes turn normal. So you know you're doing your job. She's looking right at you. 2020. I'm, I'm telling you guys, you need to be subscribed to see this because it just that, that well, how long is that video? 8 seconds. That's worth 6-9 or five nine. Nine. Oh my God, look at that forehead. Right there. That's A5 head. Just imagine if you're getting head from this chick and she looks up at you in one of the eyes like that. You're fucking trying to look down. Well, she can look down. She can make sure she's on point while she looks up at you. Make sure you're enjoying it. I don't know how we have 100,000 listers and and they're not all buying the videos. You gotta see this shit.

1:12:57 Man. We're not even going to tell you what the bitch's name is so you can go look her up on Instagram for free. I don't even know. I don't even know. All right, Who wants to go next? You want to go next? Whoever wants to go next, let me know, Stroke. I'll put your videos up if you want. Me to trout sniffers. OK, let me go with the Harlem preacher. You know what you want I'm talking about because Mikey has uploaded. I can't do it on my side for some reason. So this guy is James Manning. He is in Harlem and he is, he's a black guy that cracks me up. I love his videos and he's preaching how he doesn't want to go into heaven. If Jesus is black and he is black, I want to stress he is black. Oh God, here we go. Somebody said to me that if Jesus is black, heaven is a ghetto everywhere.

1:13:38 Black people is a damn ghetto. Why should I be yelling at the white man? Hell wasn't for him. We'd all probably be dead from diseases and sickness of hell with each other. For the white man. Yeah. White man built America. He said the slave built America. Don't they cover that line? I'll slap the taste out of your mouth. Game built nothing half the time. What you did, Bill, as a slave, the white man had to whoop your ass with a whoop to get you to do that little bit of work that you didn't do it to whoop your ass to get into talking about. We built them and built a damn thing. Don't own a damn thing. Nothing. You had Harlem. You threw that away. No. Thank God for the white man. Thank God he's built America. Some other safe places built allies so you can ride around on built automobile.

1:14:22 Hell y'all ain't got one nation in Africa. I haven't built a car talking that damn talk. The only thing y'all can do is play basketball. Run up and down the court like a bunch of double jointed fools. There's a term for what he just did, and I'm not going to say it out loud. I just think of Uncle is Uncle Ruckus, that's from that that show, because he just he I don't know if that maybe that clip cut off, but he does go if Jesus is black, I don't want to go to heaven because heaven is going to. Be. He said it right at the beginning. He said that right at the beginning. OK, Yeah. OK, that was uncle. Uncle is one of the words that I get that. Yeah, I'm not going to, I'm not going to say the whole term. But what he just did was. I know a couple people named Tom so. I don't know why he was.

1:15:03 He's so anti black, being black. That must be really weird in Harlem. Must be hard. Yeah, that'd be hard to survive. What's? Going to this church. Not I was going to say who's going to if your church is in Harlem, a predominantly white neighborhood, or Barrow as it were, but who's going to that to listen to you talk like that? Honestly, I want to get him on the show. You. I like to have him. On Bring him on the Show I. Think it'd be great I talk too. Damn it, now I do too. Holy. Shit, he's clearly he's, I mean, he's clearly got a setup going on here. Like, I mean, he's got a microphone and he's streaming. It's giving Clayton's big, Clayton big. I'll reach out to his people, see if I can get him on. Tell me why the black man hates black people.

1:15:45 Oh. That'd be so funny. All right, so what's your next video here? Stroke? Family Guy episode, A lot of these you may have seen, but you know, I still think it's hilarious. It's to the sheep. Oh. Yeah, it's a. Sheep cheer my ass, bitch. Yeah, make me naked. Make me a naked fucking skin sheep. Run that thing all over my ass. Fuck yeah OK, I'm not doing this. Come on dude, what's your? Problem. I'm not going to do it. You're freaking me out. You. Can't stop. You're like halfway done. I don't care. You can't leave me halfway, sheared Sean. Halfway Sean. You can't do that. Come on dude, don't be a douche. OK, fine, but I swear to. God, you keep doing it. I promise. Relax. It's all good now. It's all good, all right.

1:16:29 Oh, fuck. Oh my God. Fuck. Yeah. Fucking sheer me the fuck up. Oh yeah, I'm so fucking hard right now. Shit. Fucking cotton boner. Oh my God. Me with that thing fucking fucking sheer, my asshole, sheer around my fucking asshole. Shove that fucking thing up my ass. Stick it up my ass with me. Stick me up the ass with it. Cheer me up the ass, dude. I'm done. What the fuck? You're not right in the head. I'm done. You jerk, I thought we were friends. I don't remember this episode. This must be from like like like way way past when I stopped watching. Holy crap, what? The I've seen it. Wow, You've seen that episode? I've seen it.

1:17:09 Yes, I have. I have only witnessed that in my feed, I've never watched it on TVI mean I know it'd be blurred out and beeped but it was weird. So here's the thing, like I'll say crazy shit to my wife and I know she's like thinking why the fuck would you ever say something like that? But at least I'm not like where's your head when you come up with something like that? I don't. I would never in my life would have thought to to make the sheep like be getting off on getting shaved like they're shorn as as they corrected them and then having like shove the fuck, shove that thing on my. Eye, I actually probably think I could have helped write that. I think if somebody would have sparked, would have triggered the idea. I don't think I ever would have came up with the idea. But if some, if you would have been like stroke, if you'd have been like, dude, I got an idea. We can we have a sheep getting shaved and the sheep's getting off on getting shaved.

1:17:51 And then I'd be like, Oh my God, that's brilliant. And then we just go back and forth and come up with a million different things for it to say. Why don't we have an animated cartoon? I think we would. Oh, we'd be the best cartoon. Marketing idea #7. Yeah, we would have the best. We would be the best cartoons. All right, Jen, so it's your turn, right? Here we go. You can't get out. Oh my God. Don't run a nose. There's a kid in a mirror maze which you should always keep your hands in front at all times because I've made that mistake.

1:18:32 Holy shit, that was fucking great. That kid went full force right into that window and fell right down. You guys, you got to be, you see it, man, You're missing out. You can't get out. Oh Jesus, now because I'm because I've openly admitted that I love my kid and hate every other kid on earth. I don't mind watching kids get hurt. I. Think it's just terrible. That shit was funny as hell. Little kids getting hurt, I hate to say it, Little kids getting hurt is funny. Old people falling down, it's kind of funny. People, you know, people getting splashed by a car driving by, you know, other people's misfortune. It usually it's, I hate to be a Dick, but it's kind of funny if I enjoy in it. Yeah, that was hilarious.

1:19:15 What the fuck is that? And we'd lost Jen just as she was playing her Kiki car crash, it looked like. Yeah, this is. Because I remember that being an online trend, People would walk next to their cars. Oh yeah, I remember. That and it was so fucking stupid. The car would be driving and then people would just get out of their car and start fucking dancing. Yeah, it's so weird. Some people got run over by their own cars doing it, into which case I say. Good. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You deserve it. Well, we'll never know. We'll never know what that video was supposed to be because Jen is gone forever.

1:19:56 Well, I'll get the psychic. I'll go find her. Because yes please, I will use the psychic to find where where Jenna went. Well. Well, I will say this. I'm glad Ian is back from his pegging convention. We appreciate. We appreciate you coming back and joining the show you. Were missed. I can only stay away for so long. My asshole was killing me. Thanks for playing along anyway. So don't forget you guys to subscribe on Spotify, subscribe on Patreon, join the show, support the show. Oh Jen, let's. Push back. My son unplugged the Wi-Fi. Damn kids did you get? To see my video, at least no, 2 seconds of it and then you're gone for damn it.

1:20:36 You want to see it? Sure. Yeah. I mean, if you if you have it, I do. I do have it. I've got nowhere to be. Little fucker. Damn, kids, that's so funny. Just as it was playing with this God and was like, damn, I guess we're never going to know what happened. All right, here we go. Here we go. This car's not even moving. Oh my. God, Oh my God. That was not what I was expecting. There's a couple things I want to bring up. That person is a racist because that car hit that person on purpose. How did you not see him? It was a white car. It was a white car.

1:21:17 I didn't see that. That's why I thought you. Was going to say, if you notice like the car's not moving, he's just in the middle of the road. So and he, he, he was in the street for quite a while, so the driver would have had time to react. That's the big leap. But he also runs. Towards the car. Play it again. Play it again. Make this tell me this motherfucker ain't racist. See. Saw him get out dancing for Are you Riding 7 seconds? Maybe that must. Go into the Harlem preacher. Oh my. God, I know 7 seconds. Oh my God. Just saying call it like I say it.

1:21:58 Oh my God. Can you can? What if a person was black? Still racist? Because that's black on black crime. But it's not racist anymore. I mean, well, Harlem. Preacher's racist. What was that? What was that that term that I was trying not to use earlier that the that the preacher? Yeah, that. Uncle Tom. Why you can't? Why is that? I probably can't say that is that. AI don't know what I can't. I can't say I ain't trying to get cancelled up in this motherfucker. Let me just ask. Thank you. There we go. I just had to leave them with that. Thank you. Thanks. For going to the black preacher. You should put the black preacher to that music. That's so fucked up.

1:22:47 We already said our goodbyes while we were. Waiting on that's it. So everybody, thanks for tuning in. Bye. Bye. Hey this was really fun. We hope you liked it too. You know, we've had a lot of laughs tonight. Seems like we've just begun when suddenly we're through but. I'll tell you what, you're not funny. Bye. Goodbye, good friends, goodbye. Kevin Strippers. Because now it's time to go. Strippers are people too, naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price. You negotiate later, behind the curtain at a VIP room. We'll see you very soon. I'm shy. Just no need to kill him. Very soon. I know because. Most of them are already dead inside. Goodbye, goodbye.