The Gang Gets DP’d | Ep 65 (Audio Only)

0:01 Yo, turn it up. Crank the volume to 10. Guess what's for the crew who won't bow again? The hosts are united, ready to go. They tried to kill it, but we're not that damn show. Fucking we're back louder than you'll know. Corporate radio can kiss our ass. They fired us, tried to make us bold, but we're not that damn show. Still wrong. Cut in bold. God, fuck you. Fuck you. Welcome to America's loudest podcast. We are not that damn show.

0:43 And again, that is just the three of us. Actually, 2 N will be missing for a few episodes. She had a sort of a family thing that happened. She didn't take some time off and then they were going on cruise. Yeah, like a cruise, like an emo cruise or something like that, which is pretty cool. So some sometimes she does every year. So she'll be out for a little while. So she's not. Gone. She needs the cruise, you know, from what you know, not to get in her personal business, but just sometimes you just need that escape. Yeah. Yeah. And and just time away from us. I get it. Yeah, You know, she kind of got thrown into this. A lot. First of all, she volunteered for this. She didn't get thrown into shit. That's true, but it's good.

1:23 Before we start weapons check. We good? Oh. My God, I didn't bring mine. I got AI can find a weapon. There we go. Weapons. Check. That's not that's a weed pen. That's not a weapon. It's not even a weed pen, it's actually my little duster I. Would like to share something with you guys before we get really kicked off here today. And I just think you guys will find this hilarious. But you know, over it's last episode we talked about when I got married and I Christina went down to her truck and I hear a knock at the door in the hotel room. We're staying in a resort. So I think that it's her and she forgot her wristband to get in and some lady and and I'm not making up. She's just some Mexican lady. I couldn't I don't know what she said. I couldn't understand her, but it didn't matter. I could see it in the face.

2:07 So she opens the door up and there's the sign, you know, do not enter. And when Christine and I started dating a long time ago, I did the mouse on the trampoline. You guys familiar with that? I am from knowing you for 16 years, but please go on. When your penis is not hard and erect, you bounce off your balls. I did not. I've never seen him do this. I know what I what I said. Sounds like he's done it for me before. That's not true. Oh yeah, I've done that for Ian. But I will. If you want to see it, I'll show you I. Don't, no. I wasn't, I wasn't, I was not hard. So I was just, you know, just just just just a little pee pee and lady walks in, just opens the door and I'm thinking it's somebody else, you know, Christina. And there I am, ball sack everything just in my hand. And she looks at me.

2:54 And then it felt like it was 3 minutes, guys, but I think it was more like probably like 3 seconds and. That in in those moments, things feel like it's so you. So what you did was you opened the door and a stranger saw you playing with your penis and balls. Did you open it or did they opened it? They opened it and said do not enter. They had the sign. They knocked the fucking sign. You can see the sign that fell on the floor where it do not enter. It was on the. Floor it was meant cause 'cause those those do those do not enter signs, they come off really quickly depending. Yeah, but she knocked it off. I heard it fall like they fell, and there I am holding my ball. I was trying to do a mouse on the trampoline and she's looking at me and I'm looking at her and we just stare right and then. She assault is on her.

3:36 She shouldn't. Have come in, then she says something in Spanish. I don't know what she said, 'cause I don't speak Spanish. And then she walked out. And then the most whitest guy walks back in. I'm still standing there and he goes. Did you? Need. Yeah, you need me. I'll keep it. No, no, I need to get the fuck out of here is what I need. You're. She got to quit that day. Well, I think I might have let go of my balls at that point. But you know, it was, it was, it was traumatizing. I should have got a free night stay for her. Well, imagine if you were like you thought it was, you thought it was your wife and then you like helicopter and up to her. She's like walking in the she. Wasn't carried like that's our game. Well, I don't know if she loves the game as much, but she always said I've never had a man in the mouse for, you know, giving the mouse on the trampoline before. And that's how I won her. So yeah, sometimes I like to, I like to give her that show occasionally.

4:21 It's just, it's not a. Normal. Thing but but but her saying that doesn't sound like an invitation to do it. Again, it's just observation that wow, nobody's been stupid enough to to do that. She said, oh wow, it takes a real man to show yourself when you're not hard to bounce your little wee wee off your balls. When you call it a paper that I was supposed to say, well, it ain't a Dick yet I don't want to call it a Dick because it was not hard. You know what I mean? This guy is a wee wee. It was more of a Ding than a Dong. Got it. So you're saying that it's not a Dick unless it's hard? Yeah, you stretch your ball, Mikey, do this to Mandy tonight. So stretch your balls out when you're not hard and then let let it bounce. Let it bounce off your balls.

5:04 You can do it. Yeah, you can do it. I don't know if she would appreciate it as much, but I. Don't think she will, but I think my I think my Dick will hang longer. Well, oh, mine was just sitting on my doll. Mine was just sitting on my balls. Not to mention like you did this at the beginning of your. Relationship. A little bit, yeah. Like Mikey's been in, he's been with his girl for a long time. He just does it out of nowhere. She knows that ideas came from one of us, Probably you if she's smart. If I did something like that, like stroke told you to do this. Please do it. Please do it. Tell us out. Turns out well, because like, you can't just. I mean, you can. I mean, she's going to think she's going to know that this came from him because. She's going to die laughing because you're because your little wee wee is not very hard. You know what I mean?

5:48 Like it's cold, but you're just shaking it off your nuts at like Bang Bang. You got to make it bounce too. Like bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. What if it gets hard while I'm bouncing it? Oh well then you brought Dick to the party. That's. What I say? Well then. It's. A It's a waste of penis because no woman's getting turned on. You just walk in balls of kimbo. It's just. My wife like turned on by it at all. She would definitely laugh and be like, what's wrong with you? I want you to do it. I mean assignment. Everyone do it and let me know how it turns out. Please please post it in the comments. Sometimes you can laugh a girl into bed. I mean if you got it's. It's crazy how often belly of hilarity translates into loins of virility.

6:30 So write that down. Make her laugh. You might get some pussy. That's true, but it's very true. Or make her cry. No, no, not like in a bad way that like make her feel bad for you or something like. Make sure makes. That's a whole different thing. Make sure you give a real Dick before you ever try to pull this off because then she's like is that all he's got? Yeah, she has to experience the Dick 1st and then you can start playing. Then you can enjoy it, yeah. There it is. More Dick talk. Anyway. God, anyway, that happened to me. That was a really, really embarrassing moment. But. You know, I remember now why we hired a female and she's not here. Oh, Jim would love this story. Yeah, 'cause well, then I would just be like, what would you do if Kyle did that? I think she.

7:14 Would I would legitimately ask her if she was here? What would you do if Kyle came in with his ball stretched out just making his Dick jump? I would honestly, if she was here I bet she'd say he has done that. That seems like something I. Don't think so. Has done in the past. No way, only Stroke thinks to do shit like that. I don't know if he's done this lunchroom lady, but he might after that, and I encourage men to do it. Show yourself. Not hard. Then you're a real man. I mean, it, it, it, it opens up a level of, of I guess I don't know, you're, you're, you're kind of letting them see you vulnerable. When you're not hard, yeah, And you're. Willing to put it on display then, yeah. Well, I like I've been in the shower. My what we have like glass doors in our, our shower. So my wife sees, you know, she got, she's just not really. I mean, she sees just waving in the wind, you know, it's just wow.

8:06 Fucking don't make it sound like it's waving. Come on, Mikey, you're very white, you know. I'm telling you, man, I it's not, I'm not, I'm saying I'm not massive, but I do know that I have a pretty nice Dick. I'm just be honest. That's a pretty Dick, Mikey. Hey, I've been old. I've been told anyway. Anyway, indeed, yeah, let me educate you all. Yeah, let's get into. Let's get into random facts. Fuck it. All the things that you turned up, you're going to learn today. You're going to learn something. I'm going to make you the smartest person at the bar, not smarter than me. Unless I've been drinking, I won't remember any of these. Did you know Yosemite National Park has struggled to design garbage cans because they have to be easy enough for humans to open, but complex enough so bears can't? And they found that quote considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists. Which I believe that people are fucking. I believe that.

9:13 Too how many people a year die because they there are literally signs that say don't try to take pictures of the oxen or the Buffalo and people just get killed doing this stupid shit. That's really funny that that they spend so much time trying to figure that out. And the amount of people that fall off like the Grand Canyon, the. Grand Canyon. I went there when I'm when I moved to California, I stopped by there and I didn't realize how open it is. I'm like, should we allow the public to walk on this? No, but people fall off of it. And it makes no sense. It's a big fucking asshole in the ground. How do you miss it? Because they get right to the edge and they want a perfect picture. They're stupid.

9:54 I'm not, I'm not going to agree with you. They're dumb. I'm just saying that people die. And I'm not, I mean, sometimes there are, I might come off as an asshole saying this. Sometimes there are deaths that are just like, oh, we can't make fun of that. But hey, those are people we don't need. If you can't, if you, if you're, if you're dying, taking a picture of the biggest fucking hole in the ground in the world. What about see you ever see those like it's usually Russian people are like doing fucking flips and stuff on the on the top of radio towers and shit like that. I ask them to take those videos out and I hope they fall. Oh my God, not my head, watch it. Because I get, I get all like, I get discombobulated like these guys are way too high up and I, I feel like I'm going to fall and shit like you guys, that's it.

10:35 But I watch it anyway. This waiting for one of them to die. They never do. They never. Fall and I'm, I'm, I'm, I think I, I start having that anxiety too. I'm like, Oh yeah, oh, it's too much. I got to watch crazy. I got to watch anyway. I want one of them to fall. Did you know alligators go through a pseudo hibernation in the winter and they keep their noses above the surface of the water so if the water freezes they can still breathe? Yeah, I actually did know that as weird as it is that they kind of sort of because it because if the water like you said that the water does freeze, they sort of freeze, but they're still under it enough to where that where they're deep enough where they're not frozen, but they need to be able to breathe. So they just there. That's crazy. I'll give you one more 'cause this one made me laugh. Go ahead, unless you had.

11:17 I was going to say, we have a place here called Fudd Puckers, and it's a restaurant and they have like all these alligators out there. I know it's a great name. My daughter's like, I want to see the alligators. We didn't eat. We didn't do anything. I go cool, We just pulled up in there. Look at the alligators, the fucking left. But it was cold. The alligators weren't doing shit. You know, you know what's funny about because there's there's Fuddruckers, but this place is called Fudd Puckers. That place got my ass whooped one time because when I was a kid I said it wrong on accident. And. Yeah, 'cause it's hard not to anyway. Yeah. Yeah, I call it buttfuckers. Buttfuckers.

11:58 Is it a burger place or is it just it's like mudruckers? Just kind of all all over the place. Yeah, it's kind of seafood hamburger. It's like all over the place. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tourist trap. So they serve, you know, a little bit of everything. And last one, Frank Sinatra supposedly hired thugs to beat up comedian Jackie Mason for making fun of him for marrying Mia Farrow, who was 30 years younger. After Mason had his face wired back together, he kept making jokes. He would say things like, Frank Sinatra saved my life. One night. He said, boys, that's enough. And I actually knew that Frank Sinatra allegedly had mafia ties because what's his name? Don Rickles used to make fun of him for it, but they were friends so he never beat his ass. Yeah, there was a lot of talking about. Yeah, Frank Sinatra.

12:44 He was just a big drunk, right, from what I remember reading. Like he would drink all day and just be. He's just an asshole. A. Little bit of cocaine, probably. Probably. Well, we didn't go Jack him for that. No, he was connected to the mob for sure. Yeah. Well, he, well, I mean, he, he, he, he, he basically lived in Las Vegas, a mafia town. When that when at the time? Yeah. So yeah, of course he had mafia ties. Allegedly. They pretty much made him. You know, they can make sure they won't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much. Not that I'm saying he wasn't talented. I'm just saying they pretty much made him. He was a great singer, but I mean, he was he, it was, it was the whole lifestyle. What is that? The crooner? Is that what his is that? Yeah. Him and fucking Sammy Davis, Junior, whoever else.

13:28 They're the Rat Pack guys. Almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dean Martin, I think, yeah. Dean Martin's another one. Jerry Lewis. Yeah, all those guys, the amount of pussy they got back in the day. It's just they're just thrown at them, just constantly thrown at them, just. Big old hairy bushy pussy. Unshaved. Probably not very clean. And they thought it was good they were bragging, I mean. I mean. If any of us are singing when you got a big old hairy Bush pussy of like, I don't want to hear about this. You take what you can get, you know what I mean? Frank, Frank Sinatra, like shave that shit. Let me see my pussy lips.

14:10 They didn't. They didn't shave back that. No, that was. Like, no, I don't know when we became a, a part of the, the culture became like, all right, let's shave our bushes. It happened somewhere between 1993 and 2. 1000 cause like it. Happened. In the 90s, in the 70s and 80s, like it was full on Afro Bush, but then something happened. Cause like, cause I've I've seen Debbie does Dallas and yeah, they're they're there. Oh yeah. Oh. Yeah, there were. There were actually Debbie does Dallas comic books. Did y'all know that I. Did not know that. I found that out like 2 weeks ago because somebody had mentioned it and I and I I just grabbed my phone as soon as they mentioned I'm like shut the there's like 12 issues but I got to buy them.

14:51 I'm like no, I want to illegally download them to see them right now. But I couldn't find any any like cutouts or anything. Yeah, that 70's porn was weird. It was like 2 big old fucking hairballs just fighting. It was weird. A lot of hair. A lot of hair. Anyway, let's move on. You want to get into Florida, man? Let's do it, Florida. Man losing. Well, breaking all the headlines.

15:33 All right, Stroke. All right, let me take you down to my state. A guy here in Florida got arrested last weekend after doing Donuts in the church parking lot while on the first date. That's hot. That'll get you some pussy. For sure, douchebag. She was riding shotgun. The 28 year old man lives in Orlando, but I guess he drove 150 miles South to Orlando area. Like wherever what? South of Orlando, wherever she lived, he drove his souped up Corvette 3 hours to pick her up. Cops say he speed through several neighborhoods with her in the pasture seat. Then he started doing Donuts in the parking lot of the Kingdom Hall, Jehovah's Witness church. Someone who lives nearby said it was very loud. No shit.

16:18 Oh fuck, that's. Great. I've made my decision on the Florida scale. Yeah, and they said his car sounded. This is what this is what they reported. It sounded hot rodded out. That's quote. Hot rodded out. Cops showed up after someone called in. The woman on the date told cops she asked him to do Donuts. Donuts, she sounds. Very one of those girls. Yeah, she sounds fun. I don't know. What that means? Either I don't either. I got to say no. I got to say on the Florida scale, I can't give this anything other than a mullet Gator. That's that's a mullet Gator. We're going to Yahoo in this church. We're going to do Donuts in the park. Exactly. Yes, soon as you said Jehovah's Witness, I'm like, I got to change it. That's fucking great.

17:00 An 18 year old man was arrested in Inglewood here in Florida after police found him hiding in the dog bed section of a closed Walmart while live streaming a TikTok 24 hour challenge. Have anybody heard of this I. Have actually, it's a whole challenge too. I'm surprised. Well, he's just now catching up apparently. I didn't even know it was a challenge. A 911 call came in. Someone, being a snitch, reported him broadcasting from the store. Mind you fucking business. Mind you fucking business. What an asshole. Yeah, all Yeah, they found the man recording on his phone. He told police he hoped to earn money from TikTok views doing this 24 hour stunt 'cause, you know, no Walmart. Is there any Walmarts for 24 hours anymore? They all close like 11:00, don't they? Yeah.

17:45 They all. Close. I know the one here closes at 11:00. I don't know, like, OK. Same. The man entered to the store shortly before closing but was caught while employees were still inside. They were doing their, you know, clean up nightly task. In addition to a felony burglary charge, he was also accused of stealing $16.00 iPhone charge. Because, you know, you got to stream, you got to plug that in. I'm surprised he picked Walmart because they may be closed but there is always a a bunch of people in there because my sister is an overnight stalker and there's like 30 people in there at night just restocking for the next day. It's not. They don't turn the lights off and the store's empty. There are always people there. Why not just go to a place that's open 24 hours? Are you not supposed to?

18:28 But where? Like seriously. Go to a Waffle House and just sit there. Sit there, order coffee and just hang out. But I'm sorry this this guy gets mug shot Dolphin. Yeah, You know, I, I was thinking about like 2002, 2003, one of my first couple years in radio. I remember getting, you know, you do the night show and you get off at midnight. I remember going to Walmart, doing grocery shopping. I just, I loved it. You can't. There's no, I don't know where you would go. I don't. Either. Nothing. Even a pharmacy like say you get sick and you have the flu needy medication where CVS, Walgreens, they're all closed. Yeah, they're all closed. After COVID, everybody just come up with an excuse. Close it.

19:10 I feel like that anyway I. Would ruined everything. A 29 year old woman here in Florida was arrested on a misdemeanor charge after she allegedly stole a Co worker's 40 oz light blue Stanley Cup. Anybody own the Stanley Cup? I. Do I do? I own one, but I've never used it. Yeah. I love my standing. My wife got it for me. I love it mine. 'S mossy oak, but still, whatever. It was a $60.00 cup, is what they say. The woman was caught on camera eyeing the cup, hiding it in her lunch box and leaving with it. And in what an accident. She knew it belonged to a 22 year old Co worker and she even talked about it before. A Co worker said that the woman once pointed to the cup and said this cup will be great to hold my breast milk. Super.

19:53 It changes. Everything. What a fucking weirdo. The woman has since quit her job. She was a supervisor so she stole from like one of her lower employees. Oh my God. Hey. We had a supervisor steal from us. That motherfucker. What was it, Vince Dickhead? Richards literally came in, stole a bottle of our alcohol and walked out with it. And we had like, hey, he's like, no, come with me. You guys going to have some? Oh thanks of our own fucking liquor. Scotch, you asshole. Yeah. I remember that guy before he unfriended me. Was that not even in radio anymore? I hope not. 'Cause I I unfriended him a long time. Ago. I think he's just a corporate asshole ass kisser.

20:33 I don't know what he's doing. What if you're not like you need to subscribe on Patreon and Spotify so you can see the Florida scale because the breast milk Stanley Cup. I'm going to give that one a hurricane in a bikini. What's that even mean? I don't know what that means. No one knows what it means. It's provocative. Like a tornado. It looked like a tornado. OK, two women on American Airlines flight in Miami were removed by police after they set themselves in first class without tickets and refused to return to their assigned seats. Now, I don't think they're Floridians, but it's still a Florida story. According to a report, the women were, they were confrontational when the crew told them, you know, you can't sit here 'cause you didn't pay for these fucking tickets. You didn't pay for these seats.

21:23 They were. Police were called and both fetishers were removed from the aircraft, one commonly the other one struggled with officers before being handcuffed. Reiger suggests that this was American Airlines flight and it was going to Phoenix. So I think these are Arizona people. The only flight that weekend showing a significant delay. So they held up the whole fucking plane to sit in a seat they wasn't supposed to. What's there? There's video of them being us that like from the terminal where they're being walked out and one of the one of them is very quiet. She's like, look, we got busted. Whatever the other one is, who's clearly the one that got them in trouble. The mouth. Yeah, the mouth, she's like, we were in the wrong fucking seat. We were in the wrong seat. Like, no, that's why you're here.

22:05 Another report I had said they were trying to do some kind of video for social media and they were asked to go back to their seats. They didn't. So you have the drunk bitch who's just being an asshole and you know, made it, made it even worse. Now you're on no flight. Like no flight. Was it no flight list or whatever it is? And that sucks. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure you'll love seeing this country by train. So mugshot Dolphin. There you go. That's what's happened around Florida. I'm. Going to say when shit like that happens it pisses me off because those people fucking have literally no regard for any other person around them. Like they like the whole world revolves around them while they're trying to go viral or do something fucking stupid online and shit is so annoying. And I've, I've said for the longest time, like if, if you are on a plane and you are the reason that we either have to be delayed or emergency land, if it's not a medical emergency, we should all get to collectively kick your ass. That way you can, we won't even put you on the no fly list after that.

23:07 Just take this ass whooping and you can get on the next flight and have you. Ever had the opportunity to sit in first class? Unfortunately, no. I have, but it was not like I paid for it because I had AI. Can't remember Delta United, one of those they moved me up like the the plane was going from here in Florida. I was when I was going back to Sacramento to Chicago and the flight was pretty much empty. And then he goes, would you like to come up here and sit in the front? And she was super nice. I experienced it. I'm going damn, this is what they get to do What? Do you get do you actually get a hot towel? Like what am I supposed to do with that? I don't think I found a hot towel, but it was like it was private. And then when they shut that little, they shut that little, that little curtain, you're like, oh, look at those peasants in the back.

23:51 It was great. Like leg room was great. I'm like this is awesome and I have a drink. For it, like is the champagne free or whatever? I feel like it's all free. That's. What they That's what they say in the movies. Yeah. I don't remember to be honest with you. So the, the, the way that the Florida scale works, because there it's a scale of five. We've we've already seen the the the mullet Gator. The. The mug shot Dolphin. The hurricane in a bathing suit. There's also elderly Flamingo and sunburn manatee. What do they mean we don't know? I don't know. I'm just, I just I just give them a rating at the end of the story.

24:35 Like that's that's that's a mug shot dolphin story if I've ever seen one. What does it mean? I don't fucking know. So if you're audio, you have no idea because you can't see it. Yeah. I brought illustrations to the table just for you guys. And we've made it super easy for you to subscribe. You can subscribe on Spotify to see the videos now if you want to, or you can come on over to Patreon and get the full package with the behind the scenes stuff and the exclusive shit and all that other stuff and be a part of the DP family that's on Patreon. But if you want to join on Spotify, that's that's good as well. We do appreciate that. But we did that because we wanted to make it as easy as possible for everybody because people want to see the video and you're welcome. And we also want your money is. That ADP family. Yeah, the DP family damn like double.

25:16 Penetration Family. Damn. Patrons, whatever works for you, Stroke which? I've been making that joke in my head for the last like. Year or now, but. Yeah. Well, we get like we decided on the show to start calling them DPS, but you didn't get to just be the other. Just sound nasty when you say it's like. Nasty. The whole show is nasty. You're getting DP D. Getting DP D come on over DP it over here. We'll cover every hole. Damn, it's like it doesn't matter. All right, so I think we got to move on and get into these confessions. There are some pretty good ones here. Or is it? It is confessions times. That's right, you have a list and a few other things to get to too. All right, let's pull these up on the screen and just get started. Roll through the very first one here. The oh, by the way, I'm sorry, I should say that if you ever have a submission or a confession that you want to confess, feel free to hit the link in the description or over at not tds.com and tell us your confession. We have no way of knowing who sent these to us. It is not possible.

26:11 So. Sometimes we like to guess, but that's all they are. They're just guesses. But sometimes there's like, yeah, we're just guessing. There's no way to know just. Theories. Like this first one here says, sometimes I drive to work early, sit in the parking lot and cry for 20 minutes before walking in. I don't even know why that's. Very. It's 'cause you guys work, no? But it. Sounds like me. I don't want to. I don't want to hear Pink Pony Club again. I it makes sense you do have to do that. Did you guys hear the version of Guar? Guar did a version of Pink Pony Club? Have you heard it? No, but now I've never wanted anything more. You need to hear it. It's terrible, as you would expect. Well, of course it's got to be. Yeah, but it's great. So I feel bad for you.

26:53 You know what you should do if you're at work and you you feel like you're going to cry for probably not that damn show. Listen to us. Yes, we'll make you laugh. Cry. You know what? Just walk in and cry on your fucking Co worker's desk. Yeah, do it. Do it at work. Yeah, get. Paid for it. Don't cry before work. Go in, clock in, and then cry. Because I can assume that this is probably a female. If they ask you why you're crying, blame it on lady troubles. They'll send your ass home probably on maybe a paid day off. Probably I get it. You want to win the lottery? I get it. And you have to show up the fucking work. I yeah, I get it every day. Every day. Next one here is I. I masturbated in the hospital bathroom while my kid was being born. It was a stress release, don't judge me. Wow, I'm.

27:38 Gonna so sorry about that but. I did whatever. Was she screaming out there like pushing the baby out while you're jerking it or? Hell, that's a great question. Like was it full blown labor or were you guys like, you know, 'cause sometimes you get to the hospital, there's still a few hours before the baby's born. Were you just trying to rub one out to kind of relax a little bit? I have questions. Oh, that all the question. Nothing about that would make me horny. Not a damn thing. That is a boner killer. Yeah, but I don't know, sometimes people get hard when they're, you know, people get horny when they're stressed out, right? I don't. No. You know you've never had a stress fuck. No. I've had, yeah, like, I mean, angry, made-up, but no, not a stress fuck, I don't think. If you, if you stress fuck it, it's basically angry. Fuck, you've done that.

28:24 Everybody's done that anyway. Anyway, this next one says, oh, it's about me. Mikey almost sent me to the hospital because his Dick is too big. Really. We're doing this now. I'm telling you, I didn't go because because I knew he would use it as bragging rights. Also, this is his wife. And then she puts in parentheses there. I sent in a confession by your Dick. Remember, we were screaming to tell our wives, our girlfriends, to send in a confession about our Dick stroke. Stroke and I were because Ian was getting all those I. Forgot about that. Yeah, but she says. But this actually happened more than once. So thank you for for bragging about my penis. Are you down here? All right. Thank you, I didn't even get a brag, did I?

29:06 Now it's now it's Christina's turn. She's got to send a little something about your your little pee pee that you just. Live, I'm a pee pee. The next one is I wear lingerie under my work clothes just in case. Case of what? Fucking your boss in. Case she gets fucked, the end. Or I'm gonna be prepared, I guess. Who says the Boy Scouts are the only ones that are always prepared, huh? Wow. OK, All right, good. For you? Good. For you do it. I support that. Next one is I left my drunk friend at a party once because I was tired of babysitting. She was assaulted, she never told me. I found out through someone else and I haven't admitted I left her on purpose. Well it's not really your.

29:49 It's not your fault or anything. No, but I can see how you would feel bad because look, there are there are people in this world that I refuse to babysit anymore. Stroke is one of them. And I I you just can't do that to yourself all the time. I'm not fucking Superman, all right? I don't want to take your drunk ass anywhere. If you're not going to be responsible drunk, then you can fucking, you know, deal with yourself or have somebody else do it because I'm, I'm done. I'm too old for this. It's not your responsibility, but like as dudes, like I don't wouldn't even care if I left one of my friends somewhere because they were drunk. But I feel like if, if it's your girl, like if you're a couple of girls and you leave the other girl, like it's not your fault she got assaulted, but you're supposed to be there. You know what I mean? Like girls are supposed to look out for each other like that, right?

30:30 I don't know, I feel like it's kind of shitty. And I don't party like I did 10 years ago. What are you talking about? And. 10 years ago was when I decided not to babysit you anymore. Oh, what did I do? I don't even remember, I was drunk too. Oh, OK, yeah. I think, I think that I, if I'm not mistaken, I think you might have just not been able to sit up in your chair and I got tired of putting you back in it. So I'm just like, leave them there. And the bouncer said, no, we can't leave them on the concrete. So he picked you up, put you on a like a, a, a booth seat and I kind of just left you. What the fuck was this? Was this? It was a diamond plate.

31:10 Oh, they didn't. Care. OK, well, that's. A long time ago, that's when. Yeah, I don't. I'm like, I don't even party like that no more. Damn. This is a different time in life. Yeah, I've become a better person, Yeah. Yeah, I think we're all better people. We've grown since. Question mark, but yeah. Question mark indeed. Yes, that wasn't plugged. All right, next one here says I took a shit in a Wendy's Cup and left it in the back seat of my ex's unlocked car during summer. Gross. Oh my God, I hope this is a woman. I actually do too. I assumed it was that's. What I thought too, my head went immediately that it was a woman who did that. That's funny. That's a new game we need to play during confessions, man or woman.

31:51 Oh, that's good. We should do that. There's definitely a woman Wendy's Cup. I made her own Frosty. It was a. Frosty. It had to be a frosty cup it. Had to be a frosty. Cup or chili, I will accept that. I never shoot in a cup. I cannot say that I have either. I've shoot in a lake, not a cup. Yeah, Rivers, I've never shoot in a cup. I've. Never shoot in a river over anybody of water. It's called an Aqua dump. Oh it's great. And I remember watching my turd like there's a bunch of people canoeing and like swimming and I'm watching my turd like float towards him and they just swim through my shit. It was great. Terrible. Why not just poop outside? Like it just poop in the woods? I don't. Want to go to the woods? Technically the lake and rivers are outside. It's easier to just shit in the water. I mean it felt weird, but it was easy. It it feels so weird, like this was back when I was like 17. I can't really recreate that feeling unless I do it again, but I remember it just being like that. It was awkward.

32:49 It just doesn't feel right. It it feels unnatural. Yeah, like even when you're like in a river or lake and you piss, you piss on yourself, but it still feels, yeah, good it. Feels good, like, I don't know, I've been in the river and I peed on myself or whatever. You get that a little warm. Warm. Yeah. You're like this. Goes by you, yeah. Or if you're like, you know what the worst thing is, is if you're in the water, like in a river or lake or something and you're not peeing, but all of a sudden this little patch of warm water so fire, you know, someone just peed and it just touched you. That's somebody else's piss. And what's funny is when you when you're pissing, but you got to keep a straight face and you're having a conversation like, yeah. So then you're like, oh God. But. You're like, because when we go to the, when we go to the beach, like we'll, we'll have a couple of beers and then, you know, we'll just go up waist high and just have a couple more beers.

33:36 I'll look my friend's dead in the face like, hey, I'm pissed and don't come over here. Just stare at them. Yeah, all the time. Hey, will you look at me? I'm peeing. I want you to look me in the eyes. I need you to look or I can't pee. This next one is I slept with my best friend's dad twice. Wow, we are so close. We're basically sisters. That's kind of gross since I've known him most of my life. That's also gross. That's some American Beauty shit. Good for you, good for you, I. Mean I can do your thing, but I mean, is this guy married? That's fucked up. You know, I don't know, like what's the because I, I know, like, I amongst guys, there should be that never that basically pinky promise to each other that we don't fuck each other. You don't fuck your your best friend's mom. Is that the same with Jicks?

34:24 I don't think so. Like don't fuck my dad. I don't think so, I think. It's the other way around I think. I don't think it is, I think. It's but once you fuck your friend's mom, it's like right that time I fucked your friend, your mom, you got that. He's coming. And he has every right to sock you in the. Face he does, but you got to be willing to take the punch. You got it. Yeah, you better like if. You're going to do that? Yeah, you got to be. Prepared. He made jokes about it for 16 years. If Stroke ever slept with my mom he would get a punch in the face. I wouldn't like it was the biggest, it was the biggest load I kept all week. You know what, that's two punches. I'm going to hit you just for that. Cream pie, that bitch. How's your mom?

35:05 I. Just think. That's fine. You know what? Let's just have a duel at high noon, you know, you bring your. Gun kill me just for the thought of this even happening, but I've not. I do actually, and I'm sad you're not here. This is a. This is a video call because. I'm, you know, you hold your gun, you put your finger on the trigger. It fucks me up every single time. This is not safe. It's actually at. The I'll shoot him, I'll shoot him back. I just say that this is, you know, you want to sleep with your best friend's dad, fine. But if you guys are basically sisters and you've known him most of your life, I think that that's disgusting on the dad's part. Put that. Out. If you're yeah, you're basically sisters. That feels like grooming. Yeah, it's.

35:45 Yes, it does so. Well, I'm the only one here that says do. You I mean, do you sure, live your life, but. She should also be able to kick your ass. This one says I faked the panic attack during sex so he'd stop and I wouldn't have to fake another orgasm. Oh. Jesus. Like are you dating this guy? Just break up or teach him. I think this was a probably a one time thing or a two time thing. See this. This did not continue on. Damn it, Christina, why you write that? Sometimes you got to just give the guy the code, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes he just needs the code. The combination, yeah, fuck, it's not that hard and most dudes aren't going to be offended by it. Now to the left.

36:28 Yeah, yeah. Boom, boom, boom. Gotcha. Boom. I'll wear that shit on my face. I would not be upset. Yeah. If you wanted to, you know, introduce toys in your like, if you need your rose or whatever you want to call it, I'll get mine. I don't trust me. I got no problem getting mine. I but I But as a gentleman, I would rather have you have yours first. Couple times not mad. I like to wear that shit on me. Just go to work. You're disgusting. No, there's something about it. It looks like dry powder but it's like. I know where you're going, yeah. I know it's so sexy. It's like, to me, it's like it's.

37:09 Not sexy. It's it'll be ten, 11:00 in the morning and you're like, hey, I fucked this morning. You just just dry cum all over you. I just think it's so hot. I'm nasty though. We know you ruin every conversation by the by. The No, but this is like a thing I really like. I'm telling you, I enjoy it. This is kink, is what he's telling us. Yeah, dry cum. All over my Dick. I look at it, I'm like, yes. That's so fucking. Gross. I love it. I don't even want to shower, I just want to wear it. This next one says. Where's my friend? Yeah, I know my best friend thinks we drifted apart naturally. The truth is I slowly cut her out over six months because she's fucking nuts. Sometimes you got to cut crazy out of your life. I I.

37:52 Yeah. I support this. Yes. I've known people that are very close to me who have had best friends who are also crazy. And you sometimes you do, you got to cut them out. You you just if they're drama or they're just not bringing any anything good to your life, There's I've. Cut out friends for the exact same reason. I'm not not none of this. I knew people that did. Like no, I've done this. You were bringing me down and I don't need that kind of shit in my life. You know, I guess you're right too. I honestly, I think I have too. Like there's friends of mine I just don't talk to anymore because I'm like, man, I have your time. There's nothing wrong with that. The older you get, cutting out bullshit because you're getting too old and too you're getting tired of it. Just sometimes you got to cut people out. Sometimes you got to limit people in your life, including family. That's true, definitely true.

38:38 All right, last one here is I stayed with a guy I hated because the sex was violent, violent and I didn't know how to ask someone else to do that shit. So this person's into. There's a website I can direct you to that I get all these Craigslist things from. It's called Fetlife. You know, go live your kinky lifestyle over there. They mean like punching each other in the face like I'm. I don't know what this means. That's what I when I see the word, that's exactly what I think. I think punching, you know, donkey punch type shit. Rear Rear Admiral banging their head into the fucking that. That give of the old Hank Moody special. Yeah, that type of stuff.

39:20 God, if I got punched in the face, I'd cry. Same. I would like that. I will say that right now. I got slapped in the face once I stopped. I'm like what the fuck was that? Why did they slap you? Because they were just into. It apparently so, but they there was no they didn't ask, they just did it and I was, I stopped. I'm like what the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you? Do that. No, you can't. You can't just introduce things without a conversation. Yeah, I almost killed a bitch once. I'm fine. Well she's like choking me and then she like choke me bitch and then I start getting mad. I'm like. Choke me harder motherfucker gonna be a little bitch about. It call me a pussy. I'm like you fucking gonna die. I was like talking. Out you're like, oh, you want more? Yeah, fucking you better see blackout. Fuck.

40:07 Oh man. Holy shit. All right, well, that's this week's confessions. If you want to confess anything, like maybe you almost murdered somebody when you're having sex with them because they wanted to be choked and you're not angry, let us know. You can hit click the little link in the description or heading over to not tds.com and submit it that way as well. Remember, they are anonymous. There is no way for us to ever know who sent that. So there we go. All right, let's move on to today's list. Ian has the top ten lies we were told, I'm assuming as kids as. Children, yes. Oh great. And every single one of these is a big hot fat load of horseshit that we were spoon fed through our entire childhood and it pisses me off. Well, I'm excited to hear this because there's a lot of things that as I've gotten older, I've learned like that was a total fucking lie.

40:57 And I'm like, why? Why? Yeah. Did you lie to us? That's. Another thing, it's like, why were you? Why were some of these things told to us? Like there are, there's one in here that I'm like, OK, I get why you told us that and I'll explain why they told us that later on. But for example, why were we told that you have to wait an hour after you eat to go swimming? Oh, I was told 30 minutes. I was told 30 minutes doesn't. Matter you There's no scientific study that says either of those two times makes a difference. Yeah, I was remind parents made me sit out. Yep, same. You're going to get a cramp or some shit like that or you'll throw. Away what cramps or you'll drown. But if you're if you're a good enough swimmer. These kids are like in the water. Fuck off.

41:41 Next one, if you touch a frog or a toad, you'll get warts. That's a fucking lie. I heard that they peed on you. Also a lie. Now some of them can excrete toxins or whatever that can either cause chemical burns or hallucinations, but warts in general, no. We go licking some toads man, you start tripping balls. Yeah, who was the first fucker that licked a toad? Think about it. I don't know. But what? I don't know what that guy was doing. Like that guy was, you know, something was he wasn't. All there the toad and the toad just looks all sweaty and you're like, I wonder what that tastes like and then you. Lick a lot of burgers out there eating. He's licking toads. You're like damn, he's getting hot shit, let's lick toads. Then it becomes a ritual, and here's licking toads are on the fire. I don't know frog legs.

42:26 Yes, I have frog legs are delicious man. Really, I maybe it's the thought of it being a toad. I didn't say they were good, I just thought I've had them. They they were good. It tastes just like fucking fried chicken it. Does everything tastes like fucking? Chicken. It was fine. And next is George Washington chopping down a Cherry Tree. That was a fucking lie that we were told. Cannot tell a lie. It was me who dropped down the tree. Fuck off. This one I understand why they told it to us because it's a nice moral lesson, but still, you could just tell us not to be lying pieces of shit and by because because you're a lot, you're being a lying piece of shit by telling us this bullshit story.

43:07 Hold on the end. I'm I'm I'll call myself out here. I remember this story, but why did what? What was the moral of this story of him chopping it down? I don't remember. When George Washington was a child, he was, yeah, he was gifted A hatchet as a kid at which is a terrible gift for a child. So he went out and chopped down a Cherry Tree and his father confronted him and he said, father, I cannot tell a lie. Yes, I did chop down to Jerry Tree and like yeah, he that never happened. No. That's bullshit. There's no point on us this fucking story. Seriously. The moral of the story I get but like make up a different tell us a different story about something that actually happened to make us not lying sacks of shit I. Remember, my daughter was 2 and I got her first hatchet, you know, it was great.

43:57 Anyway, next, if you sit too close to the TV, it'll ruin your eyes. Yeah, we literally put TV's on our eyes nowadays. Yeah, fucking virtual reality. You're living in the TV. Yeah, there's no scientific study to back up that claim at. All no in my I remember my parents telling me like I had an an aunt and she they said they said she's like this because she said so so close to TV when she was a kid. So I believed it. Yeah, I bet that scared the shit out of you. How? Do I get blind? Nobody does. What about the Maybe if you masturbate too much? Yeah. Jerk off your blah blah or you'll get hairy palms. Yeah, oh, that's why my eyes are going bad. Finally. That's. What I thought too, I was like. Damn, but if you eat enough this isn't on here. But they also said that carrots help your eyesight. That's just not true at all either. Not true.

44:46 No next lie. These are making me mad. Gum stays in your stomach for seven years. Oh yeah. Yeah, I remember that. Not true at all. I ate a lot of gum as a kid, hoping that I would remember 7 years later to see if I pooped out. A lot of gum. Marked it on the calendar it. Didn't happen. What's funny is because gum does take longer to break down. It can stay in your stomach up to like 6 days maybe, but not seven years. That's insane. It's not. It's horseshit. Why did they tell us that though? Why did it matter like? That's what I'm that's, that's what I'm wondering. This is one of those that makes no sense to tell people. Like you don't want your kids sitting too close to the TV. Fine, I mean, whatever, but not swallowing gum. What what does this do for us?

45:37 Like I've never told my son that I and I don't because I don't see what the point of it is. I told my daughter that and she's like, that's not true. Yeah, it's. Like they Google it, Fact Check it. Yeah, yeah, these kids Fact Check it now. Like shut up. Turn the light off in the car, the cops can pull me over. It actually died. According to Google, it doesn't. No fucking Google. All right, next crock of shit. Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis. Oh, you've heard that too? Yeah, I. Remember when I learned that that wasn't true in my mom and tried something that's going to cause I'm like no it's not. I learned that at a young age like that is not true. That is an old wives tale. There's nothing true about that because all it is is air you're just popping. Air.

46:19 Yeah, I remember when I first found that out. I think it was like junior high. I'm like, wait, it's just air bubbles cracking. That's all it is. And that's so good, kind of good for you. Like it is good. Now in your older age they say that it can reduce grip strength, but as young as we are, and yes we are three young, young lads. Young Bucks. Yeah, we're we should be fine. Next one, this one, you can see the Great Wall of China from space. You can't they look. Yeah. You can't That's that's that's so far away. Why wouldn't make any? Why would anybody think that you could see a wall?

47:01 Yeah. It's not even a big wall, it's a long wall. But as far as like which as width wise goes, it makes no sense to say that because you can't. Yeah, I don't know what the naked eye. I don't know the point of some of these lies. I don't either. Why were we told this? I also don't know the point of the Great Wall of China. I'm just going to be real. To keep out the Mongolians is. That what it was. Yeah. How long it taking to build that shit? I mean hundreds of years. A long time, Yeah, a long time. But right now it's just a tourist trap. Next, dogs can see black and white. Little Asians just building the wall Little. Little ones.

47:44 Dogs only see in black and white. Again, not true. They yeah, but they experience a vast color or a vast wheel of colors, not like cars. No, it's like they're kind of color blind or something like that in a weird way. But but yeah, the the in TV shows and cartoons, it's always when you see from a dog's point of view, it's always in black and white. That's horseshit. But also, how do we know? I don't even know where that started. Yeah, that's true. Because, you know, when I I grew up, I used to deer hunt. And they say the same thing, Like deer can't see color, but you'd wear these bright orange vests. And they told us this. But I always question like, how do we really know? Because we don't really know. We think we know. Yeah, we, we're not. We can't see the world through the dog's eyes. So there's no real way to know.

48:26 Like, I mean, I mean, they could probably, you know, do whatever tests on the eyeballs to see what nerves and stuff and see what colors, I guess. But still, there's no real way to know. I don't know. I'm sure there's there's scientific ways to find out that I can't explain to you. Yeah. I'm sure there is. We're just, we're just not that smart. Yeah, exactly. Like you can, you can train a good smart dog like to go get the red bone or the blue bone or whatever. That's probably what happened. Maybe. Maybe. Let's see, where are we at? Oh, I this one again. This one makes no sense to tell people at all. Swallowing a watermelon seed will make a watermelon grow in your stomach.

49:10 Did you guys hear that one? Yeah, I wanted that to happen. I swallowed them all the time. Like how fuck is there a watermelon on my throat? Let's see what happens. I remember hearing it but I never believed it even as a little kid. And like, that's bullshit. When I was the littlest, littlest kid, like maybe 3 years old, I believed it. But then I got older and I'm like, that doesn't make any fucking sense. No, I want a seedless watermelon. I don't want to fucking pick it out. This is America. I'm. Telling you because I don't want to be crunching on them when I eat the damn thing. These. Fucking peasants eating seeds. Yeah. Watermelon seeds. Yeah, I I don't fucking know why that even started. And this is my favorite lie that we were all told as children. You guys are going to like this one is the lie. You can be anything you want to be when you grow up. Now some of you are stupid.

49:55 You. Know that is the biggest crock of horseshit. Yeah, like I can't be a brain surgeon. I know I'm not smart enough. Like, I get it. I understand. Yeah, because like I, my, my girlfriend sometimes says because we'll argue and she's like, you should have been a lawyer. I'm like, I can't do that. The amount of schooling that shit takes it, there's no way I could have done it. Yeah, you can't be anything you want to be. You really can't. No, you can't. You can try. Yeah. I mean, you can definitely, you can definitely like do something adjacent. I always knew I wanted to entertain, but I I knew I wasn't going to be a Hollywood movie star. And if you just kind of just just figure out what you want to do and just kind of to figure out a way to stay in that lane.

50:38 Yeah, that's, that's really what it is. Find out what you want and then if you pursue it and and do all the things to get to that level, or there's a better chance at least. Even if you did, even if you're Ian and you wanted to be a movie star, like then you go, you you go to school, you get a fucking degree, you get an acting degree or whatever. You go to LA, you fucking suck a few Hollywood directors Dick Dicks. I was going. To say he's going to have to suck some Dicks out there in Hollywood. Like that's what sometimes that's what you got to do. You got to suck a Dick if that's what you want. Yeah, you know, sometimes you just got to suck a Dick to get ahead. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. That's in the Bible. Somewhere in there. Somewhere in.

51:20 The back, it's in the back. Right, so that's a pretty good list. Those, those are all really fucking. Dumb. Yeah, every one of those I heard before. Yeah, that was pretty good. We got a couple of damn problems we'll get into right now. Got a problem? What the hell is your problem? Maybe we can help. I felt I had a. Problem. What's your damn problem? If you ever have a damn problem, feel free to e-mail any one of us or not TDs at Gmail. I don't want to just think over the website and submit it that way you can do it. It's a lot easier that way. All right, so there's just two today. This first one, I'll just read it right. The way it's written says found a string of texts on my wife's phone from a guy at work. Nothing outright sexual, but definitely crossing a line. Stuff like don't tempt me or you looked dangerous today. Oh hell no, I would.

52:11 Fucking kick. Hey, I don't know what that means. If some guy fucking said that shit to my wife, I would be very angry. All right? So anyways, there's a lot of flirty emojis. She says it's just office banter and I'm being insecure. Oh, get the fuck out of here. But she deleted some of the messages before I could read the whole thread and now I can't stop wondering what else she's hiding. I haven't confronted her again because I don't want to blow up our marriage if it is really just harmless. Oh, my gut is telling me that it's not just joking around. Am I being paranoid or is there something going on? Oh, I'd be pissed. So pissed. So fucking mad. Like you have every right to be mad, I would say. Yeah, because like even like I and I give my girlfriend credit, even if it it might seem innocent, but she'll tell me.

52:55 It's like, is this the way this person said it? Is this is this weird? And I'm like, yes or no, babe, I think you're over analyzing it because she's, you know, a good girlfriend and she's like, hey, I think this guy's hitting on me. This is what he said. I'm like, Oh yeah, he definitely is. But you're But she. The problem with this is your wife is entertaining this and letting it go on and that is a fuck no for me. And maybe I am the only one here and that's fine, but that whole my work, my work husband, my work wife, that will fuck you. That ain't not no, that's a coworker. Yeah, that's not a thing. There's no such thing. There's no work wife, there's no work husband. There's nothing like that.

53:37 That's your Co worker. You guys could be friends, sure, whatever. I don't give a fuck. But that's it. That's the extent of you all. You shouldn't even really be texting each other stuff like like there's no reason to be texting that that much to get to a point where you're saying things like don't tempt me or you look dangerous today. That that text right there is fucking crossing the line. You gotta come down to your job, put my foot up in somebody's ass. Like even the closest thing I could ever have to a quote UN quote work wife would be Jen and there's not a single message between her and I at all. Yeah, I've. Never. I've never sent A1 on one text to her in my life. Even the girl that used to be on the show when we worked with her for years and we've had there's probably text messages, but there's never, ever been anything that's said like that at all.

54:21 At one point Lara could have been considered our work wife or whatever, but I would never say that and I would never text anything like that, no. I think that's disrespectful to the spouse or somebody. Percent. They're with, Yeah. It's not even a term I use. I just when I hear that it makes a. Lot stupid term like. You go to work with this motherfucker. Yeah. And I and I get that some people need that to, to make work feel like less of a, of a commitment and a job like we have, we have a, a family here at work and I have a. Work husband like. No, because I because when I go to the karaoke bar, I have a there's a bartender that I like working with more than anybody else, but he's not like my work bestie. Like no, he's just the guy I get along with the most. It's not your work, husband.

55:10 No. Right. I mean, and it sounds funny, but I'm serious. Like you wouldn't say that. Yeah. This guy's like, is it trust your gut? Dude? Like you even said, it's like my gut's telling me this isn't joking around. You don't trust your gut. Seriously, I don't want another one too much to handle it, Trump. Just got another wife, He. Doesn't. Yeah, I don't want one like. I don't want to go to work and have a work wife. Yeah, like your Co host. You wouldn't call her your work wife. No, no. Your wife, your current wife would get very mad at you. Yeah, like I said, current wife. That's hilarious. I keep giving her a countdown to annulment, by the way. And then I realized in Florida we don't have 30 days. I gave her 25 more days, 24 days. I get AI get a feeling like if I ever, if I ever came home and I said that, you know, and I called somebody if a female bartender, if I called her my work wife, my girlfriend would probably be like I think you need to quit your job. Yeah, my wife would get her off of me if I said something. Yeah.

56:12 So even when I go like like Terran that I work with on the actual radio, we will sometimes have lunch like once a week or every other couple weeks. It's just more like sitting around talking, you know, radio. Yeah. But never keep it a secret. It's like we're going to go have and she understands because she knows and she like like there's nothing there. But we understand that. I can see where that could if that ever became a problem, then I would probably eliminate that. But it's it. We were doing that way before, you know. But but if it became like it's not a secret like you said so but if it's something that you are keeping a secret and not telling that even if even if it was nothing, it still seems a little suspicious. So it's good that you're being open and honest about it. Yeah, my wife is being open and honest. And this text or this e-mail or isn't is not your wife is not being open.

56:58 And she deleted shit like no. They're shady cunt. Deleted. So your mind and actually thinks the very worst of the worst, right? Yeah. If it's being deleted then why don't you want me to see it? If I see evidence that something was deleted, like like when you delete a message on Facebook Messenger, like because sometimes I'll I'll send the wrong emoji to my girlfriend, I'll delete it. It says message was deleted, She'll go, what did you send? Oh yeah. For sure, no. And I and I don't mind telling her, but now there's evidence that you deleted a message. Now you're like, what the fuck was deleted? Was it a picture? Was it a spicy text? What the fuck? So if she's going to be a shady cunt, then yeah, yeah. Follow your instincts man. I don't want to tell you to end your marriage, but fuck, this is not looking good.

57:41 This is not a good. At least. Like figure it out before you go doing that. Like make sure you have concrete evidence. I think the three of us can affirm you here. You are not being paranoid and there's definitely an issue here. So dive further into it. Talk to your wife. I think if Jen was with us today, she would say the same thing. Something's wrong when you have to delete things and hide things. Something is missing. And what is that puzzle? Yeah. Yeah, and if it and if it is, you know, as bad as you say, you know, that's like her work husband, just go to her job, bring one of these. It'll be just fine. Do it Florida style. Yeah, that's up, motherfucker. Exactly. Just meet in the street. Shooting in his Dick. Shooting in his Dick.

58:22 Like, oh, right. In the Dick, right in the Dick. Always shoot him in the Dick. You look dangerous. That's you want to show you. I'm going to show you something dangerous, my guy, and show up there. Yeah, if you don't kill him, you just shoot him in the Dick. They always have a Dick. That's just not going to work again. So you win. You just might have 20 years in prison. But you shot him in the deck. All right, one more. This is about a teenager says My teenage son is a full blown is full blown addicted to vaping. I've caught him doing it in the bathroom. I don't know, this is teenage son behind doing it in the bathroom behind the garage. Just casually ripping clouds mid meal. You think he's sitting at your fucking kitchen table? You're letting him sit at your kitchen table doing this shit here. He says we've taken his phone, his Xbox, we've grounded him, nothing works.

59:07 He says it's not a big deal. And then throws in my face that I used to smoke weed in high school, which, yeah, I did, but I also wasn't thinking. I also wasn't hitting mango poison every 10 minutes while watching Twitch. All right, this e-mail may have not came out of California because California didn't they get rid of all the flavors? Oh yeah. I don't know where this came from. That's a good point. So I don't know if this maybe this came from you guys have. We have flavors here. Yeah, you can get flavors. What I didn't realize was till recently you got to be 21 to buy tobacco here. I didn't even realize that was a statue. I I don't smoke or anything, but I just didn't realize that. Yeah, they they raised, they raised the smoking age. They do that everywhere, because I know. It's, I don't know, I'm going to ask you if that's California too.

59:49 I don't know. I know the flavor thing changed when I was out there because I know people were bitching about and. The menthol thing changed while we were out there too. That's right. Yeah. They, they don't sell menthol cigarettes anymore in California. But I, I, my thing is I want, hey, I want to know how old he is. Not that that matters too much, because if he's under 18, shut that shit down because and, and I, I, I saw. It was, I think it was last man standing where one of his daughters was vaping and she's like, you know, there's no study that says this isn't healthy and or whatever, she said. And he's like, you're the study. Your generation is the study. We don't know what this will do to you long term. Yeah, I'm not going to give this. I'm not going to give this person's name, but this person is no longer with us. And he didn't die from this. But when they went in there and examined him, they looked at his lungs and he had vape for a long time. And the doctor described this like, like popcorn, like it popped in his lungs because he had been vaping for so long. So, yeah, you're right.

1:00:43 Ian has not been out there long enough to know it's kind of like that. What's that fat shot people are take? Like some of the stuff have been tested a lot. You got to be careful with what you put in your body. That's true. Your your, your generation is the experiments. We will know afterwards what the effects are because like you, like you said, it hasn't been on the market long enough. What, like I I don't maybe 10 years people have been vaping like this, maybe a little bit. Longer, maybe longer, yeah. I remember, I remember. When I was in college, they had like vaping was just starting to become a little bit of a trend. They didn't have the flavors in the in the boxes. They were, there was there were pans that looked like cigarettes and they didn't have any. Then a couple years later they came out with the with the boxes that have all the different flavors and shit. And I was like, that's so gay.

1:01:33 Yeah, I just worry about people. Yeah, I worry about people that take that, is that GP, whatever that that that fat shot they take. Ozempic. GLP one or whatever. The fuck it is like I see it all the time and I worry I I understand losing weight and why it's healthy. Good for you. I just. I'm just concerned that we don't know the long term effects of putting, injecting something into your body and, and it may be nothing, but it may be something, you know what I mean? Like I'm just concerned about people overall. Like is it going to be 30 years? Did you take this? Call us. Yeah, for sure. You know you're going to see that you. May be entitled to compensation. Yeah, yeah, His dad's like it says, well, I don't know if it's a dad or a mom. Says I've completely lost control and I, I don't know if I'm, I don't know how to parent him anymore without losing my shit.

1:02:19 What am I supposed to do? I know that. They. Don't do this anymore. Yeah, that's a good question. That's a great. I know that parents don't do this anymore, but would it be so bad if we brought back the This is an old parenting trick. It's called If you don't do what I tell you, I'm kicking you the fuck out. I mean how if the kid is like 14 years old that's one thing, but if they're 14 years old then they're vaping and shit like that like. That's against the law. Who's buying them? Send whoever find out who's supplying them and send them to jail. Your your kid sounds like an asshole. I will say that yeah it needs some. No offense to you, but needs some fucking discipline. And I thought he was going a different direction. But you remember when we were younger, it was like if if your parents caught you smoking.

1:03:06 I never was a smoker, so I don't I didn't have the you smoke until you get sick. You know, like drinking, drink till you get sick. And then you apparently didn't want to do it no more. I never was that kid. So I didn't have that problem. I started smoking till after I was already legally allowed to so it didn't matter at that point. But yeah. Find where he keeps his pens, throw them the fuck away. Yeah, don't just take them. Throw them away so he can't get them back. And then if he shows up with another one, I don't know if this is a, if this is a call the police kind of thing, because you want to find out where, where he's getting them. You yeah, that's you would try to get try to find out where he's getting them from, but you just keep remove them, throw them away.

1:03:48 It's your house, you know you have like, I don't know, fuck, I just don't know how much of an asshole your kid is, but this is, it's your house. These are your. Kids are assholes. And if they're not, but, but some kids get to, they only push it to a certain point and then they're like, all right, I've pushed my dad or my mom far enough, I'm going to not be an asshole anymore. I got to make sure I'm following the rules. But you know, if your kid is still pushing and pushing, you've taken all these things away from take his phone, take his Xbox, take literally everything so he has nothing. I mean, I just don't put the fear of God on their kids anymore. You're right, they don't raise him like teach him be a 90s parent, teach him to be a friend of his parent, you know? He's at Walmart. He's 14. Whoops his ass. Put your belt off his whoops his ass at Walmart.

1:04:28 In front of everybody. Yeah, there's a there's a comedian that I love. He's like, you know, I was never scared of monsters under my bed. I was scared of my dad. And that's healthy. Yeah, yeah. I mean that was true and there's you can go into your child's room that lives in your home and search your whole fucking bedroom and find anything you fucking want to do. Quit being a pussy. Yeah. Did you ever see that? That's what it really comes down to here with this parent. And again, no offense to you, but you got to just, you have to remember you're the fucking parent. And as Stroke said, quit being a pussy. It reminds me of this. I didn't, I didn't watch the show, but the clip went viral. It's it's from the show. I think it's called Homeland, where this kid calls the police on his mom for spanking him for ditching school. The kids like 11 and he calls the police. The police show up and they're like your mom hit you. Yeah.

1:05:17 Why? Because I did school. How many times she hit you? 3 times on the butt. She ever hit you before? No. And the officers like you called the police because your mom disciplined you hit him again. Seriously though, there is a difference between abuse and whooping your kids ass. And I'm sorry but I'm a 90s person. My daughter, I have never spanked her in her life but she's scared. I put the fear of God in her. I don't have to, but she knows that I will. If it comes down to it, I will break some shit. And this kid clearly has never had an ounce of discipline in his life because they're taking stuff away only goes so far.

1:05:57 Oh yeah, for sure. Like they're OK. They they get to the point. Like who cares? Take whatever the fuck you want to. I'm going to do what I want now. I'll tell you this one time because you can. They, they, yes, my Nintendo have been took was taken away one time. You know what they took once that really pissed me off? They took my door away. Oh yeah, that's good. That's a great one. Take the door off. Take the door off. Great punishment. It was gone for like 3 months. I had no privacy. That sucks. Yeah, and I was 15. I wanted privacy. Oh yeah, for sure. Teenagers like like my my weed pin disappeared. I know my daughter's she's she's going to be Mikey, like a pothead. Probably.

1:06:38 She's I go, I better find this motherfucker by the end of the day. Guess what? But it was just there. She didn't admit anything. I know. Just showed up. Yeah, but yeah, I didn't freak out because, you know, when I was 15, once I didn't freak out, I, I can't say I witnessed it because I would have been pissed. But we've been just magically appeared. But yeah, you're dealing with a teenager. Take the door off. You're a teenager and you're trying stuff, you know, you're just trying to do it, but you know, there's one thing of like over parenting and there's another thing where you're trying to keep that somewhat of a balance, 'cause you know, we were all that way. Yeah, that's true. You got to remember that too. And the kids are going to push. Kids are going to push because that's what they, I mean, even animals that are in the in that stage of being technically teenagers or whatever also do the same thing. They push and and whatever, but they're trying to learn their lessons and find their boundaries. But your case you you.

1:07:32 Make that boundary. You got to be the one to also teach them that you know actions have consequences, cause and effect. You were an asshole, so this happened. So when you go out there in the real world and you're an asshole, guess what worse shits gonna happen than me taking your fucking iPad away? Yeah, and you look at kids like my daughter a couple years ago, she thought she was emo sick. I don't want to mean the sun. I'll mean the sun now she's other word camo and you know thinking she's a redneck now, but she's fine her. But e-mail for that Vince was even born. Just find your. But you know what? You got to sit back as a parent sometimes and just let them find their way. And. That that's totally different. Like if you're trying to find out you know who you are, what you like, you know what you want to be, that's fine music wise, changed your taste in clothings, changed hairstyles. You find one that works, it doesn't. But when you're literally fucking vaping and destroying your health, listen to all this, all this gutter music, be my guest.

1:08:25 But when when it comes to vaping in my house, absolutely not. Yeah, you're the parent. Take that door off I like. That, that's a great suggestion. Good luck with that. Yeah, that's a good damn problem. Actually, if you guys ever have a damn problem, feel free to send. It to us any way you. Can and we'll do our best to give you some. It was turned out to be pretty good advice. I would say. It's been a long time since I've heard somebody taking the door off their kids room. I mean, seriously, I'm, I'm trying to and I'll tell you what, it worked for me. I will say this actually. I have never taken my daughter's door off I've. I've threatened it, but I know that her mom has and she, my daughter, hates it. And so I know that it fucking sucks, man. I'm telling you, yeah.

1:09:06 Yeah, fuck that. All right, well, it's like I said, send us your damn problems. We'll try to help you out. We do. Got some videos. Again, we haven't done the digital dump in a in a while actually. So I got a handful of videos that have come across my feed in the past week that I wanted to play for you guys and we can dissect them and talk about them or make fun of them or just laugh at them or whatever. Subscribe to our video service if you haven't so you can see these and get the full. Experience You can subscribe on Patreon. This this will be just noise to you and that's annoying. Well, this first. One is actually you, you. It is annoying actually, I got to be honest with you then it is it is a lot of noise. So let's just play this very don't forget you can subscribe on Spotify as well for the video. But here's the very first one. It's a couple people hunting and then a annoying.

1:09:57 So this lady is walking just to describe for the the non watchers. There's a lady walking up to a couple of dudes who look like they're hunting and she's making a fucking noise where she sounds almost like a bird. I think it's a legendary parent, she's saying. Fuck off. Yeah, fuck off. You're not welcome. Yeah, she there it is. Fuck up. Oh my God, stop. Drive us crazy. With this, it's driving me insane. Oh my God I saw this video.

1:10:41 Is this? Is this edited? What? Is going on with this lady. It just sounds like a pissed off bird. Fuck off fuck off. Is he going to do it again? She grabbed a rock throwing. Rocks in the water. That sounds like a gun fucking retard. You. Fuck. Off you, fuck off those. Birds. Identified as Dad already. I think I would.

1:11:34 Have to save that fuck off. Noise and we should use. That This is why you should subscribe to see the video because you what? You heard was not going to be equivalent to what you would have witnessed and let me just say whatever you pictured her. Looking like you are correct. You are correct. You are correct. Oh fuck. You fuck offs, you fuck. You fuck off. So this next video sounds great you. Guys have to tell me if you've seen this video before, OK, this is a lady that looks like she's getting possessed. And I thought at first it was fake. But then if you watch, you start to watch the video, you realize that this is not this is not somebody, this is not fake. So here, here's here's the video. Look at this lady's face.

1:12:17 Clearly, we're on like a. Subway or something. A subway or something watch happens out of nowhere. What is going on with her fucking jaw? Possessed? The fuck? She's going to, Oh my, breathe here. She might have Tourette's watch. Yeah, not attacking a guy with a can of Pringles, OK. And this is what I thought. That's what I realized. It wasn't fake. Because she punched that guy. And now he has every right to beat the shit out of her. I know out of context that sounds wrong, but I get what you're saying, yeah. But yeah, you got to see the video for me for what I just said to make sense. Call fuck you I.

1:13:06 Mean I can't blame the guy. Not at all. I'm. Really not blaming him. Yeah, she might be on some drugs. And here come the cops to get him, even if he didn't do anything. Wrong. That's what I don't understand. Like it was literally. That Lady attacked that guy, they didn't see that part, which pisses me. Off because they're they're just immediately quick to go to the towards the guy instead of just breaking them both up. Finding out what happened. Her face was so fucked up. That was that was really. Fucking creepy. Well, cops. In fairness, they don't have time to figure out the situation. Immediately, they're just trying to separate it. That's true. But they did try to separate it. They just went towards, they just went just right. To.

1:13:47 Him. So you mean that they only saw one part of that? Yeah, Yeah, if I was a cop that saw a guy. Hitting a girl, I would probably it would probably be the same. Way you would think the guy was just a piece of shit hitting a woman. You know what? For no reason just tase them both. Yeah, why not? Fuck it. So this next video here. I think she was on drugs, I don't know. What the I'm not sure which devil she had in her. Yeah. She had something. In her, that's for sure. It wasn't Dick she. Probably needed some of that. That would solve it all. Probably this next video. A Dick in a day. Keeps the keeps the possession away. This next clip has a little bit of everything in it and. The the the longer you watch, the more what the fuck is going on here. So I present to you a little bit of everything. What the?

1:14:43 Fuck snow. Shovel. That's. The most? Important thing happening right now. He's. Like. Another shovel. We got a. Mop. Is that a mop? We got a mop. What is going on? Oh. Dude took a bike to the. Face. So we just laughed with their ass off. I'm laughing. Why are your titties looking like that? She's hard as can. Be and then nipples must be cold Outlook. At everybody's kind of dressed warm. You know what I mean?

1:15:32 He's not wrong. He's that, that's. No idea why these people. Why did that video become worse as it progressed? The longer it went, the crazier it was. Just more and more shit. You got. Bikes being thrown. Fucking shovels. Weird. Tits It was a very strange video and because we just watched some really weird shit. I really I don't usually do this with the digital dump, but this is pretty heartwarming and I saw this this actually came across my feet on Twitter and I was like, Oh my God, this is super cute. So I have to play this video for you guys. You either appreciate or you're not going to He's in trouble too. What did he do? He helped me draw on. The Wall.

1:16:15 He picked the colors. Oh, OK, I'm actually, I'm actually. Kind of glad Jen's here. She'd be crying, right or not here she'd be crying right now. What is thing in the world? This kid, for those people like this kid. Is put himself up against the wall or is in time out. The dog is literally standing right next to him with his face up against the wall and they're both not moving a muscle. So freaking like that, doesn't it? Make you miss your. Child when they were super young. Yeah, all the time. Yeah, it does kind of like bring you back it. Does he didn't think about me and my. Daughter's a teenager and she hates me. I. Know they hate you. It's like they're done. Like we don't have those years to go back. If we did, oh don't worry when they get older they will want to come back and and be your best. Friend I know, but I wish I could go back and just spend more time and.

1:17:02 Appreciate the moment, but you know, you're growing up when they're growing up. It's it's it's weird. It is. Yeah. So that was the Super. Cute video. I wanted to wrap up digital dump with something kind of just and the show and the show actually, as a matter of fact, it's a perfect way to end the show. Well, adorable video of a little kid and A and a dog. So if you want to see that, then you should go subscribe on Spotify and or Patreon and support the show. Don't forget to grab our shirt of the month. Right now is on sale at not tds.com. Just go ahead and grab jump into the the store, the damn store over there and there's a bunch of cools. You can get our hat. You can get, you know, there's all kinds of good stuff that we're selling, hoodies, teachers, all kinds of shit. I was going to say like since I've gotten this NTDS hat. I I'm at least 35% sexier. That's absolutely, absolutely.

1:17:47 Oh yeah, if you're not getting laid in your. NTDS hat you're doing something wrong and how it gives you sex like and I know the last two shows were full of testosterone but. Jen will be back with us. Well, I I was like I was. Doing like me and me and. My girlfriend. Were doing stuff and she's like put the hat on. Makes sense here. The hat. Makes sense here. She wanted you to. Wear it while you were banging. I mean no one blames her. Look at. Look how good I look. Doesn't that doesn't have our names on it? No, it doesn't say. Oh, OK, we should get a we should we should actually have a a hat that says like it has like stroke, muggy and Jen on it. Well, there are a few hats out there that we signed personally and those people are probably. Fucking like rabbits that just got out of prison for sure. They're getting all the ass.

1:18:33 With our signatures on it Yeah, All right, all right, let's wrap the show up anyway so we. Support the show. Guys, go subscribe on Spotify or on Patreon. Make sure you buy a shirt and follow us all on all the social platforms. It is. It is as stupid as that sounds when we say things like make sure you like, follow, subscribe, It may not seem like that means everything. It actually makes a huge difference in what we do. So we appreciate it. And based on, I guess that's pretty much it. I'm done. Yeah. And if you see Rob out, do not buy him a shot. All right, for anything, get him a, get him a glass of water. Maybe give him a loan. His house is about this in fucking pre foreclosure. All right, this is the why Reddit hates. Us is exactly why I hate us, hey. This was really fun, we hope you liked it too. You know, we've had a lot of laughs tonight. Seems like we've just begun when suddenly we're through. But I'll tell you what's not funny. Bye.

1:19:29 Goodbye good friends, goodbye killing strippers 'cause now it's time to go. Strippers are people too, naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price You negotiate later. Behind the curtain in the VIP room. We'll see you very soon on Meshai. Just no. Need to kill him very soon, I know 'cause. Most of them are. Already dead inside. Goodbye. Thank you everyone. Bye good friends. Goodbye.