The Gang Gets DP’d | Ep 65 (Audio Only)

Stroke exposes his balls (again), Ian lays out all the lies your parents fed you, and Mikey declares war on fake work marriages. Also, we investigate the science of dick elasticity, the revenge potential of a Wendy’s cup, and why everyone on the internet needs to be tased. Jenn’s out on a cruise, but the testosterone is flowing, along with violent sex confessions, sad vape dads, and another Florida Man baptism in dumbassery.
Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast.
Stroke shares a traumatizing hotel room incident involving the “mouse on the trampoline” technique and a very unlucky housekeeper..
Ian drops 10 childhood lies that were complete horseshit, from gum myths to the bullshit about the Great Wall of China being visible from space.
Florida Man does donuts at a Jehovah’s Witness church on a first date. Because Florida.
Mikey blows up the concept of “work wives” and goes full scorched earth on deleted texts and flirty coworkers.
A teenage vape addict gets roasted harder than his mango pod. Parenting advice devolves into door removal and legalized beatdowns.
Confessions include jerking it in a hospital bathroom, a panic attack mid-fake orgasm, and violent sex loyalty kink.
A brawl featuring a bike, a mop, multiple shovels, and two suspiciously erect nipples takes top prize in Digital Dumpster Fire.
One listener took a Wendy’s shit and turned it into ex-based bioterrorism. We salute you.
The final video somehow makes us all miss our kids… until we remember they’re teenagers now and hate us.
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00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:04,040
Yo, turn it up.
Crank the volume to 10.
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00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:06,560
Guess what's for the crew who
won't bow again?
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00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,920
The hosts are united, ready to
go.
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00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,520
They tried to kill it, but we're
not that damn show.
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00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,800
Fucking we're back louder than
you'll know.
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00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,680
Corporate radio can kiss our
ass.
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00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:26,520
They fired us, tried to make us
bold, but we're not that damn
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00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:27,960
show.
Still wrong.
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00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,600
Cut in bold.
God, fuck you.
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00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:42,080
Fuck you.
Welcome to America's loudest
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00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,520
podcast.
We are not that damn show.
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00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,120
And again, that is just the
three of us.
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00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,720
Actually, 2 N will be missing
for a few episodes.
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She had a sort of a family thing
that happened.
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00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,000
She didn't take some time off
and then they were going on
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00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,600
cruise.
Yeah, like a cruise, like an emo
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cruise or something like that,
which is pretty cool.
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So some sometimes she does every
year.
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So she'll be out for a little
while.
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So she's not.
Gone.
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She needs the cruise, you know,
from what you know, not to get
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in her personal business, but
just sometimes you just need
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that escape.
Yeah.
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Yeah.
And and just time away from us.
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I get it.
Yeah, You know, she kind of got
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thrown into this.
A lot.
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First of all, she volunteered
for this.
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She didn't get thrown into shit.
That's true, but it's good.
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Before we start weapons check.
We good?
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Oh.
My God, I didn't bring mine.
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I got AI can find a weapon.
There we go.
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Weapons.
Check.
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That's not that's a weed pen.
That's not a weapon.
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It's not even a weed pen, it's
actually my little duster I.
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Would like to share something
with you guys before we get
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really kicked off here today.
And I just think you guys will
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find this hilarious.
But you know, over it's last
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episode we talked about when I
got married and I Christina went
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down to her truck and I hear a
knock at the door in the hotel
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room.
We're staying in a resort.
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So I think that it's her and she
forgot her wristband to get in
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and some lady and and I'm not
making up.
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She's just some Mexican lady.
I couldn't I don't know what she
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said.
I couldn't understand her, but
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it didn't matter.
I could see it in the face.
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So she opens the door up and
there's the sign, you know, do
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not enter.
And when Christine and I started
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dating a long time ago, I did
the mouse on the trampoline.
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You guys familiar with that?
I am from knowing you for 16
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years, but please go on.
When your penis is not hard and
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erect, you bounce off your
balls.
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I did not.
I've never seen him do this.
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I know what I what I said.
Sounds like he's done it for me
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before.
That's not true.
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Oh yeah, I've done that for Ian.
But I will.
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If you want to see it, I'll show
you I.
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Don't, no.
I wasn't, I wasn't, I was not
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hard.
So I was just, you know, just
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just just just a little pee pee
and lady walks in, just opens
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the door and I'm thinking it's
somebody else, you know,
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Christina.
And there I am, ball sack
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everything just in my hand.
And she looks at me.
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And then it felt like it was 3
minutes, guys, but I think it
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was more like probably like 3
seconds and.
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That in in those moments, things
feel like it's so you.
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So what you did was you opened
the door and a stranger saw you
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playing with your penis and
balls.
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Did you open it or did they
opened it?
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They opened it and said do not
enter.
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They had the sign.
They knocked the fucking sign.
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You can see the sign that fell
on the floor where it do not
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enter.
It was on the.
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Floor it was meant cause 'cause
those those do those do not
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enter signs, they come off
really quickly depending.
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Yeah, but she knocked it off.
I heard it fall like they fell,
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and there I am holding my ball.
I was trying to do a mouse on
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the trampoline and she's looking
at me and I'm looking at her and
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we just stare right and then.
She assault is on her.
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She shouldn't.
Have come in, then she says
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something in Spanish.
I don't know what she said,
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'cause I don't speak Spanish.
And then she walked out.
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And then the most whitest guy
walks back in.
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I'm still standing there and he
goes.
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Did you?
Need.
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Yeah, you need me.
I'll keep it.
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No, no, I need to get the fuck
out of here is what I need.
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You're.
She got to quit that day.
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Well, I think I might have let
go of my balls at that point.
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But you know, it was, it was, it
was traumatizing.
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I should have got a free night
stay for her.
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00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,280
Well, imagine if you were like
you thought it was, you thought
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it was your wife and then you
like helicopter and up to her.
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She's like walking in the she.
Wasn't carried like that's our
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game.
Well, I don't know if she loves
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the game as much, but she always
said I've never had a man in the
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mouse for, you know, giving the
mouse on the trampoline before.
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And that's how I won her.
So yeah, sometimes I like to, I
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like to give her that show
occasionally.
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It's just, it's not a.
Normal.
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Thing but but but her saying
that doesn't sound like an
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invitation to do it.
Again, it's just observation
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that wow, nobody's been stupid
enough to to do that.
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She said, oh wow, it takes a
real man to show yourself when
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you're not hard to bounce your
little wee wee off your balls.
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When you call it a paper that I
was supposed to say, well, it
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ain't a Dick yet I don't want to
call it a Dick because it was
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not hard.
You know what I mean?
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This guy is a wee wee.
It was more of a Ding than a
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Dong.
Got it.
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So you're saying that it's not a
Dick unless it's hard?
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Yeah, you stretch your ball,
Mikey, do this to Mandy tonight.
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So stretch your balls out when
you're not hard and then let let
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00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,600
it bounce.
Let it bounce off your balls.
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00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,720
You can do it.
Yeah, you can do it.
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I don't know if she would
appreciate it as much, but I.
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Don't think she will, but I
think my I think my Dick will
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hang longer.
Well, oh, mine was just sitting
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on my doll.
Mine was just sitting on my
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00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,760
balls.
Not to mention like you did this
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at the beginning of your.
Relationship.
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A little bit, yeah.
Like Mikey's been in, he's been
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with his girl for a long time.
He just does it out of nowhere.
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She knows that ideas came from
one of us, Probably you if she's
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smart.
If I did something like that,
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like stroke told you to do this.
Please do it.
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Please do it.
Tell us out.
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Turns out well, because like,
you can't just.
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I mean, you can.
I mean, she's going to think
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she's going to know that this
came from him because.
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She's going to die laughing
because you're because your
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little wee wee is not very hard.
You know what I mean?
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Like it's cold, but you're just
shaking it off your nuts at like
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Bang Bang.
You got to make it bounce too.
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00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,320
Like bounce, bounce, bounce,
bounce.
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00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,320
What if it gets hard while I'm
bouncing it?
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Oh well then you brought Dick to
the party.
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That's.
What I say?
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Well then.
It's.
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00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,120
A It's a waste of penis because
no woman's getting turned on.
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00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,200
You just walk in balls of kimbo.
It's just.
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00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,400
My wife like turned on by it at
all.
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00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,440
She would definitely laugh and
be like, what's wrong with you?
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I want you to do it.
I mean assignment.
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Everyone do it and let me know
how it turns out.
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00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,160
Please please post it in the
comments.
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00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,240
Sometimes you can laugh a girl
into bed.
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00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:28,200
I mean if you got it's.
It's crazy how often belly of
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00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,640
hilarity translates into loins
of virility.
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00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,360
So write that down.
Make her laugh.
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00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,080
You might get some pussy.
That's true, but it's very true.
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00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,200
Or make her cry.
No, no, not like in a bad way
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00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,080
that like make her feel bad for
you or something like.
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00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:43,120
Make sure makes.
That's a whole different thing.
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00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,040
Make sure you give a real Dick
before you ever try to pull this
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00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,040
off because then she's like is
that all he's got?
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00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,280
Yeah, she has to experience the
Dick 1st and then you can start
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00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,200
playing.
Then you can enjoy it, yeah.
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00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,720
There it is.
More Dick talk.
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00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,800
Anyway.
God, anyway, that happened to
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00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:00,800
me.
That was a really, really
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00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:01,920
embarrassing moment.
But.
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00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,840
You know, I remember now why we
hired a female and she's not
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00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,320
here.
Oh, Jim would love this story.
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00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,240
Yeah, 'cause well, then I would
just be like, what would you do
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00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,920
if Kyle did that?
I think she.
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00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,360
Would I would legitimately ask
her if she was here?
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00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,000
What would you do if Kyle came
in with his ball stretched out
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00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,160
just making his Dick jump?
I would honestly, if she was
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00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,880
here I bet she'd say he has done
that.
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00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,120
That seems like something I.
Don't think so.
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00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,120
Has done in the past.
No way, only Stroke thinks to do
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00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,080
shit like that.
I don't know if he's done this
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00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:36,000
lunchroom lady, but he might
after that, and I encourage men
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00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,600
to do it.
Show yourself.
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00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,880
Not hard.
Then you're a real man.
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00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:47,600
I mean, it, it, it, it opens up
a level of, of I guess I don't
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00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,120
know, you're, you're, you're
kind of letting them see you
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00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:53,400
vulnerable.
When you're not hard, yeah, And
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00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,200
you're.
Willing to put it on display
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00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,720
then, yeah.
Well, I like I've been in the
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00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,480
shower.
My what we have like glass doors
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00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,560
in our, our shower.
So my wife sees, you know, she
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00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,160
got, she's just not really.
I mean, she sees just waving in
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00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,480
the wind, you know, it's just
wow.
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00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,080
Fucking don't make it sound like
it's waving.
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00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,080
Come on, Mikey, you're very
white, you know.
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00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,120
I'm telling you, man, I it's
not, I'm not, I'm saying I'm not
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00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,760
massive, but I do know that I
have a pretty nice Dick.
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00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,760
I'm just be honest.
That's a pretty Dick, Mikey.
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00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,240
Hey, I've been old.
I've been told anyway.
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00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:29,720
Anyway, indeed, yeah, let me
educate you all.
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00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,200
Yeah, let's get into.
Let's get into random facts.
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00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,720
Fuck it.
All the things that you turned
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00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:39,520
up, you're going to learn today.
You're going to learn something.
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00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:45,920
I'm going to make you the
smartest person at the bar, not
196
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:50,120
smarter than me.
Unless I've been drinking, I
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00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,920
won't remember any of these.
Did you know Yosemite National
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00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:56,560
Park has struggled to design
garbage cans because they have
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00:08:56,560 --> 00:09:00,200
to be easy enough for humans to
open, but complex enough so
200
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,320
bears can't?
And they found that quote
201
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,680
considerable overlap between the
intelligence of the smartest
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00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:12,760
bears and the dumbest tourists.
Which I believe that people are
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00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,680
fucking.
I believe that.
204
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,680
Too how many people a year die
because they there are literally
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00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,880
signs that say don't try to take
pictures of the oxen or the
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00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:26,360
Buffalo and people just get
killed doing this stupid shit.
207
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,360
That's really funny that that
they spend so much time trying
208
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,000
to figure that out.
And the amount of people that
209
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,440
fall off like the Grand Canyon,
the.
210
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,040
Grand Canyon.
I went there when I'm when I
211
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,480
moved to California, I stopped
by there and I didn't realize
212
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,320
how open it is.
I'm like, should we allow the
213
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,560
public to walk on this?
No, but people fall off of it.
214
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:48,760
And it makes no sense.
It's a big fucking asshole in
215
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,680
the ground.
How do you miss it?
216
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,880
Because they get right to the
edge and they want a perfect
217
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,840
picture.
They're stupid.
218
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:55,880
I'm not, I'm not going to agree
with you.
219
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,720
They're dumb.
I'm just saying that people die.
220
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,600
And I'm not, I mean, sometimes
there are, I might come off as
221
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,400
an asshole saying this.
Sometimes there are deaths that
222
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,880
are just like, oh, we can't make
fun of that.
223
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,920
But hey, those are people we
don't need.
224
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,640
If you can't, if you, if you're,
if you're dying, taking a
225
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:14,040
picture of the biggest fucking
hole in the ground in the world.
226
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,760
What about see you ever see
those like it's usually Russian
227
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,640
people are like doing fucking
flips and stuff on the on the
228
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,960
top of radio towers and shit
like that.
229
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,040
I ask them to take those videos
out and I hope they fall.
230
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,280
Oh my God, not my head, watch
it.
231
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,400
Because I get, I get all like, I
get discombobulated like these
232
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,040
guys are way too high up and I,
I feel like I'm going to fall
233
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,280
and shit like you guys, that's
it.
234
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,360
But I watch it anyway.
This waiting for one of them to
235
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,040
die.
They never do.
236
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,600
They never.
Fall and I'm, I'm, I'm, I think
237
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,360
I, I start having that anxiety
too.
238
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,040
I'm like, Oh yeah, oh, it's too
much.
239
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,320
I got to watch crazy.
I got to watch anyway.
240
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,360
I want one of them to fall.
Did you know alligators go
241
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,920
through a pseudo hibernation in
the winter and they keep their
242
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,320
noses above the surface of the
water so if the water freezes
243
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,840
they can still breathe?
Yeah, I actually did know that
244
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,240
as weird as it is that they kind
of sort of because it because if
245
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,280
the water like you said that the
water does freeze, they sort of
246
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,040
freeze, but they're still under
it enough to where that where
247
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,840
they're deep enough where
they're not frozen, but they
248
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,880
need to be able to breathe.
So they just there.
249
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,800
That's crazy.
I'll give you one more 'cause
250
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,400
this one made me laugh.
Go ahead, unless you had.
251
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,800
I was going to say, we have a
place here called Fudd Puckers,
252
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,200
and it's a restaurant and they
have like all these alligators
253
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,560
out there.
I know it's a great name.
254
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,440
My daughter's like, I want to
see the alligators.
255
00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,360
We didn't eat.
We didn't do anything.
256
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,240
I go cool, We just pulled up in
there.
257
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,160
Look at the alligators, the
fucking left.
258
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,720
But it was cold.
The alligators weren't doing
259
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,840
shit.
You know, you know what's funny
260
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,240
about because there's there's
Fuddruckers, but this place is
261
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,680
called Fudd Puckers.
That place got my ass whooped
262
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:46,400
one time because when I was a
kid I said it wrong on accident.
263
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,160
And.
Yeah, 'cause it's hard not to
264
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,000
anyway.
Yeah.
265
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,160
Yeah, I call it buttfuckers.
Buttfuckers.
266
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:02,680
Is it a burger place or is it
just it's like mudruckers?
267
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,400
Just kind of all all over the
place.
268
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,200
Yeah, it's kind of seafood
hamburger.
269
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,240
It's like all over the place.
Yeah.
270
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,680
Yeah, it's a tourist trap.
So they serve, you know, a
271
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,960
little bit of everything.
And last one, Frank Sinatra
272
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,920
supposedly hired thugs to beat
up comedian Jackie Mason for
273
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,320
making fun of him for marrying
Mia Farrow, who was 30 years
274
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,240
younger.
After Mason had his face wired
275
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,000
back together, he kept making
jokes.
276
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,880
He would say things like, Frank
Sinatra saved my life.
277
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,560
One night.
He said, boys, that's enough.
278
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,800
And I actually knew that Frank
Sinatra allegedly had mafia ties
279
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,840
because what's his name?
Don Rickles used to make fun of
280
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,160
him for it, but they were
friends so he never beat his
281
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,080
ass.
Yeah, there was a lot of talking
282
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,960
about.
Yeah, Frank Sinatra.
283
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,280
He was just a big drunk, right,
from what I remember reading.
284
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,960
Like he would drink all day and
just be.
285
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,000
He's just an asshole.
A.
286
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,400
Little bit of cocaine, probably.
Probably.
287
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,800
Well, we didn't go Jack him for
that.
288
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,800
No, he was connected to the mob
for sure.
289
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,280
Yeah.
Well, he, well, I mean, he, he,
290
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,600
he, he, he basically lived in
Las Vegas, a mafia town.
291
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,480
When that when at the time?
Yeah.
292
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,680
So yeah, of course he had mafia
ties.
293
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,040
Allegedly.
They pretty much made him.
294
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:09,640
You know, they can make sure
they won't.
295
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Not that I'm saying he wasn't
296
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,640
talented.
I'm just saying they pretty much
297
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,200
made him.
He was a great singer, but I
298
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,000
mean, he was he, it was, it was
the whole lifestyle.
299
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,040
What is that?
The crooner?
300
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,080
Is that what his is that?
Yeah.
301
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:28,400
Him and fucking Sammy Davis,
Junior, whoever else.
302
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,920
They're the Rat Pack guys.
Almost.
303
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
304
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,880
Dean Martin, I think, yeah.
Dean Martin's another one.
305
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,040
Jerry Lewis.
Yeah, all those guys, the amount
306
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,560
of pussy they got back in the
day.
307
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,160
It's just they're just thrown at
them, just constantly thrown at
308
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,080
them, just.
Big old hairy bushy pussy.
309
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,400
Unshaved.
Probably not very clean.
310
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,240
And they thought it was good
they were bragging, I mean.
311
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,840
I mean.
If any of us are singing when
312
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,200
you got a big old hairy Bush
pussy of like, I don't want to
313
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,120
hear about this.
You take what you can get, you
314
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,440
know what I mean?
Frank, Frank Sinatra, like shave
315
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,920
that shit.
Let me see my pussy lips.
316
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,160
They didn't.
They didn't shave back that.
317
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,720
No, that was.
Like, no, I don't know when we
318
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,040
became a, a part of the, the
culture became like, all right,
319
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,440
let's shave our bushes.
It happened somewhere between
320
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,720
1993 and 2. 1000 cause like it.
Happened.
321
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,600
In the 90s, in the 70s and 80s,
like it was full on Afro Bush,
322
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,560
but then something happened.
Cause like, cause I've I've seen
323
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,160
Debbie does Dallas and yeah,
they're they're there.
324
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,120
Oh yeah.
Oh.
325
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,720
Yeah, there were.
There were actually Debbie does
326
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,320
Dallas comic books.
Did y'all know that I.
327
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,680
Did not know that.
I found that out like 2 weeks
328
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,280
ago because somebody had
mentioned it and I and I I just
329
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,360
grabbed my phone as soon as they
mentioned I'm like shut the
330
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,960
there's like 12 issues but I got
to buy them.
331
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,200
I'm like no, I want to illegally
download them to see them right
332
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,360
now.
But I couldn't find any any like
333
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,720
cutouts or anything.
Yeah, that 70's porn was weird.
334
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,200
It was like 2 big old fucking
hairballs just fighting.
335
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:02,360
It was weird.
A lot of hair.
336
00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,640
A lot of hair.
Anyway, let's move on.
337
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,760
You want to get into Florida,
man?
338
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:12,520
Let's do it, Florida.
Man losing.
339
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,520
Well, breaking all the
headlines.
340
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,440
All right, Stroke.
All right, let me take you down
341
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,440
to my state.
A guy here in Florida got
342
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,640
arrested last weekend after
doing Donuts in the church
343
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,520
parking lot while on the first
date.
344
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,640
That's hot.
That'll get you some pussy.
345
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,960
For sure, douchebag.
She was riding shotgun.
346
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,840
The 28 year old man lives in
Orlando, but I guess he drove
347
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:57,280
150 miles South to Orlando area.
Like wherever what?
348
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,880
South of Orlando, wherever she
lived, he drove his souped up
349
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,120
Corvette 3 hours to pick her up.
Cops say he speed through
350
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,360
several neighborhoods with her
in the pasture seat.
351
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,560
Then he started doing Donuts in
the parking lot of the Kingdom
352
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:14,000
Hall, Jehovah's Witness church.
Someone who lives nearby said it
353
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,800
was very loud.
No shit.
354
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,320
Oh fuck, that's.
Great.
355
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,080
I've made my decision on the
Florida scale.
356
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,480
Yeah, and they said his car
sounded.
357
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,280
This is what this is what they
reported.
358
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,720
It sounded hot rodded out.
That's quote.
359
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,120
Hot rodded out.
Cops showed up after someone
360
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,240
called in.
The woman on the date told cops
361
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,920
she asked him to do Donuts.
Donuts, she sounds.
362
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,480
Very one of those girls.
Yeah, she sounds fun.
363
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,200
I don't know.
What that means?
364
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,040
Either I don't either.
I got to say no.
365
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,720
I got to say on the Florida
scale, I can't give this
366
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,400
anything other than a mullet
Gator.
367
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,640
That's that's a mullet Gator.
We're going to Yahoo in this
368
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,120
church.
We're going to do Donuts in the
369
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,360
park.
Exactly.
370
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,560
Yes, soon as you said Jehovah's
Witness, I'm like, I got to
371
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,240
change it.
That's fucking great.
372
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:04,319
An 18 year old man was arrested
in Inglewood here in Florida
373
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:08,480
after police found him hiding in
the dog bed section of a closed
374
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,200
Walmart while live streaming a
TikTok 24 hour challenge.
375
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,640
Have anybody heard of this I.
Have actually, it's a whole
376
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,920
challenge too.
I'm surprised.
377
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,839
Well, he's just now catching up
apparently.
378
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:19,960
I didn't even know it was a
challenge.
379
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,960
A 911 call came in.
Someone, being a snitch,
380
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,000
reported him broadcasting from
the store.
381
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,920
Mind you fucking business.
Mind you fucking business.
382
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,520
What an asshole.
Yeah, all Yeah, they found the
383
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,560
man recording on his phone.
He told police he hoped to earn
384
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,840
money from TikTok views doing
this 24 hour stunt 'cause, you
385
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,120
know, no Walmart.
Is there any Walmarts for 24
386
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,400
hours anymore?
They all close like 11:00, don't
387
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:44,680
they?
Yeah.
388
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,360
They all.
Close.
389
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,000
I know the one here closes at
11:00.
390
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,400
I don't know, like, OK.
Same.
391
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,960
The man entered to the store
shortly before closing but was
392
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,760
caught while employees were
still inside.
393
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,400
They were doing their, you know,
clean up nightly task.
394
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,920
In addition to a felony burglary
charge, he was also accused of
395
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,000
stealing $16.00 iPhone charge.
Because, you know, you got to
396
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,680
stream, you got to plug that in.
I'm surprised he picked Walmart
397
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,720
because they may be closed but
there is always a a bunch of
398
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,760
people in there because my
sister is an overnight stalker
399
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:19,840
and there's like 30 people in
there at night just restocking
400
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,840
for the next day.
It's not.
401
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,040
They don't turn the lights off
and the store's empty.
402
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,480
There are always people there.
Why not just go to a place
403
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,560
that's open 24 hours?
Are you not supposed to?
404
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,320
But where?
Like seriously.
405
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,000
Go to a Waffle House and just
sit there.
406
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,600
Sit there, order coffee and just
hang out.
407
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:39,920
But I'm sorry this this guy gets
mug shot Dolphin.
408
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,360
Yeah, You know, I, I was
thinking about like 2002, 2003,
409
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,920
one of my first couple years in
radio.
410
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,040
I remember getting, you know,
you do the night show and you
411
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,560
get off at midnight.
I remember going to Walmart,
412
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,120
doing grocery shopping.
I just, I loved it.
413
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,920
You can't.
There's no, I don't know where
414
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:55,720
you would go.
I don't.
415
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:57,120
Either.
Nothing.
416
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,280
Even a pharmacy like say you get
sick and you have the flu needy
417
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,840
medication where CVS, Walgreens,
they're all closed.
418
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,200
Yeah, they're all closed.
After COVID, everybody just come
419
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,440
up with an excuse.
Close it.
420
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,760
I feel like that anyway I.
Would ruined everything.
421
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,640
A 29 year old woman here in
Florida was arrested on a
422
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,920
misdemeanor charge after she
allegedly stole a Co worker's 40
423
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,920
oz light blue Stanley Cup.
Anybody own the Stanley Cup?
424
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,360
I.
Do I do?
425
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,480
I own one, but I've never used
it.
426
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,320
Yeah.
I love my standing.
427
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,720
My wife got it for me.
I love it mine.
428
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,560
'S mossy oak, but still,
whatever.
429
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,240
It was a $60.00 cup, is what
they say.
430
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,520
The woman was caught on camera
eyeing the cup, hiding it in her
431
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,520
lunch box and leaving with it.
And in what an accident.
432
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,560
She knew it belonged to a 22
year old Co worker and she even
433
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,240
talked about it before.
A Co worker said that the woman
434
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,320
once pointed to the cup and said
this cup will be great to hold
435
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,200
my breast milk.
Super.
436
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,160
It changes.
Everything.
437
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,520
What a fucking weirdo.
The woman has since quit her
438
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,280
job.
She was a supervisor so she
439
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,360
stole from like one of her lower
employees.
440
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,320
Oh my God.
Hey.
441
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,960
We had a supervisor steal from
us.
442
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,520
That motherfucker.
What was it, Vince Dickhead?
443
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,160
Richards literally came in,
stole a bottle of our alcohol
444
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,400
and walked out with it.
And we had like, hey, he's like,
445
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,880
no, come with me.
You guys going to have some?
446
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,920
Oh thanks of our own fucking
liquor.
447
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,080
Scotch, you asshole.
Yeah.
448
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,480
I remember that guy before he
unfriended me.
449
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,600
Was that not even in radio
anymore?
450
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,280
I hope not.
'Cause I I unfriended him a long
451
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:29,880
time.
Ago.
452
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,400
I think he's just a corporate
asshole ass kisser.
453
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:38,200
I don't know what he's doing.
What if you're not like you need
454
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,680
to subscribe on Patreon and
Spotify so you can see the
455
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,040
Florida scale because the breast
milk Stanley Cup.
456
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,520
I'm going to give that one a
hurricane in a bikini.
457
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,680
What's that even mean?
I don't know what that means.
458
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,480
No one knows what it means.
It's provocative.
459
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Like a tornado.
It looked like a tornado.
460
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:04,280
OK, two women on American
Airlines flight in Miami were
461
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,240
removed by police after they set
themselves in first class
462
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,120
without tickets and refused to
return to their assigned seats.
463
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,720
Now, I don't think they're
Floridians, but it's still a
464
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,600
Florida story.
According to a report, the women
465
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,320
were, they were confrontational
when the crew told them, you
466
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,600
know, you can't sit here 'cause
you didn't pay for these fucking
467
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,400
tickets.
You didn't pay for these seats.
468
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,840
They were.
Police were called and both
469
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,280
fetishers were removed from the
aircraft, one commonly the other
470
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,680
one struggled with officers
before being handcuffed.
471
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,000
Reiger suggests that this was
American Airlines flight and it
472
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,040
was going to Phoenix.
So I think these are Arizona
473
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,000
people.
The only flight that weekend
474
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,960
showing a significant delay.
So they held up the whole
475
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,480
fucking plane to sit in a seat
they wasn't supposed to.
476
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,360
What's there?
There's video of them being us
477
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:50,120
that like from the terminal
where they're being walked out
478
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,600
and one of the one of them is
very quiet.
479
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,280
She's like, look, we got busted.
Whatever the other one is, who's
480
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,800
clearly the one that got them in
trouble.
481
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,080
The mouth.
Yeah, the mouth, she's like, we
482
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,640
were in the wrong fucking seat.
We were in the wrong seat.
483
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,880
Like, no, that's why you're
here.
484
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,440
Another report I had said they
were trying to do some kind of
485
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,960
video for social media and they
were asked to go back to their
486
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:11,680
seats.
They didn't.
487
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,400
So you have the drunk bitch
who's just being an asshole and
488
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,280
you know, made it, made it even
worse.
489
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,680
Now you're on no flight.
Like no flight.
490
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,840
Was it no flight list or
whatever it is?
491
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,280
And that sucks.
I'm sure.
492
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,400
Yeah, I'm sure you'll love
seeing this country by train.
493
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:29,280
So mugshot Dolphin.
There you go.
494
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,600
That's what's happened around
Florida.
495
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,120
I'm.
Going to say when shit like that
496
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,440
happens it pisses me off because
those people fucking have
497
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:39,200
literally no regard for any
other person around them.
498
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,520
Like they like the whole world
revolves around them while
499
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,200
they're trying to go viral or do
something fucking stupid online
500
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,720
and shit is so annoying.
And I've, I've said for the
501
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:51,480
longest time, like if, if you
are on a plane and you are the
502
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:58,440
reason that we either have to be
delayed or emergency land, if
503
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,080
it's not a medical emergency, we
should all get to collectively
504
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,480
kick your ass.
That way you can, we won't even
505
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,880
put you on the no fly list after
that.
506
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,240
Just take this ass whooping and
you can get on the next flight
507
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,080
and have you.
Ever had the opportunity to sit
508
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,720
in first class?
Unfortunately, no.
509
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,200
I have, but it was not like I
paid for it because I had AI.
510
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,400
Can't remember Delta United, one
of those they moved me up like
511
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,360
the the plane was going from
here in Florida.
512
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,960
I was when I was going back to
Sacramento to Chicago and the
513
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,840
flight was pretty much empty.
And then he goes, would you like
514
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:32,040
to come up here and sit in the
front?
515
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,440
And she was super nice.
I experienced it.
516
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,200
I'm going damn, this is what
they get to do What?
517
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,000
Do you get do you actually get a
hot towel?
518
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,320
Like what am I supposed to do
with that?
519
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,720
I don't think I found a hot
towel, but it was like it was
520
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,960
private.
And then when they shut that
521
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,680
little, they shut that little,
that little curtain, you're
522
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,640
like, oh, look at those peasants
in the back.
523
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,640
It was great.
Like leg room was great.
524
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,840
I'm like this is awesome and I
have a drink.
525
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,560
For it, like is the champagne
free or whatever?
526
00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,720
I feel like it's all free.
That's.
527
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,400
What they That's what they say
in the movies.
528
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,160
Yeah.
I don't remember to be honest
529
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,720
with you.
So the, the, the way that the
530
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:10,920
Florida scale works, because
there it's a scale of five.
531
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,200
We've we've already seen the the
the mullet Gator.
532
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,760
The.
The mug shot Dolphin.
533
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:21,920
The hurricane in a bathing suit.
There's also elderly Flamingo
534
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:30,960
and sunburn manatee.
What do they mean we don't know?
535
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,640
I don't know.
I'm just, I just I just give
536
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,120
them a rating at the end of the
story.
537
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,880
Like that's that's that's a mug
shot dolphin story if I've ever
538
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,200
seen one.
What does it mean?
539
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,480
I don't fucking know.
So if you're audio, you have no
540
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,560
idea because you can't see it.
Yeah.
541
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,920
I brought illustrations to the
table just for you guys.
542
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,600
And we've made it super easy for
you to subscribe.
543
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,600
You can subscribe on Spotify to
see the videos now if you want
544
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,800
to, or you can come on over to
Patreon and get the full package
545
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,160
with the behind the scenes stuff
and the exclusive shit and all
546
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,240
that other stuff and be a part
of the DP family that's on
547
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,000
Patreon.
But if you want to join on
548
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,680
Spotify, that's that's good as
well.
549
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,840
We do appreciate that.
But we did that because we
550
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,320
wanted to make it as easy as
possible for everybody because
551
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:10,960
people want to see the video and
you're welcome.
552
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,000
And we also want your money is.
That ADP family.
553
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,640
Yeah, the DP family damn like
double.
554
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,400
Penetration Family.
Damn.
555
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,560
Patrons, whatever works for you,
Stroke which?
556
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,680
I've been making that joke in my
head for the last like.
557
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,240
Year or now, but.
Yeah.
558
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,480
Well, we get like we decided on
the show to start calling them
559
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,520
DPS, but you didn't get to just
be the other.
560
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,760
Just sound nasty when you say
it's like.
561
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,800
Nasty.
The whole show is nasty.
562
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:38,120
You're getting DP D.
Getting DP D come on over DP it
563
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,400
over here.
We'll cover every hole.
564
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,600
Damn, it's like it doesn't
matter.
565
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,880
All right, so I think we got to
move on and get into these
566
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,520
confessions.
There are some pretty good ones
567
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:49,000
here.
Or is it?
568
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,440
It is confessions times.
That's right, you have a list
569
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,960
and a few other things to get to
too.
570
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,160
All right, let's pull these up
on the screen and just get
571
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,600
started.
Roll through the very first one
572
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,600
here.
The oh, by the way, I'm sorry, I
573
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,240
should say that if you ever have
a submission or a confession
574
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,440
that you want to confess, feel
free to hit the link in the
575
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,280
description or over at not
tds.com and tell us your
576
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,000
confession.
We have no way of knowing who
577
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,920
sent these to us.
It is not possible.
578
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,880
So.
Sometimes we like to guess, but
579
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,840
that's all they are.
They're just guesses.
580
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,640
But sometimes there's like,
yeah, we're just guessing.
581
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,680
There's no way to know just.
Theories.
582
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:24,040
Like this first one here says,
sometimes I drive to work early,
583
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,240
sit in the parking lot and cry
for 20 minutes before walking
584
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,320
in.
I don't even know why that's.
585
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,360
Very.
It's 'cause you guys work, no?
586
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,560
But it.
Sounds like me.
587
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,440
I don't want to.
I don't want to hear Pink Pony
588
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,160
Club again.
I it makes sense you do have to
589
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,320
do that.
Did you guys hear the version of
590
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,040
Guar?
Guar did a version of Pink Pony
591
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:44,800
Club?
Have you heard it?
592
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,200
No, but now I've never wanted
anything more.
593
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,240
You need to hear it.
It's terrible, as you would
594
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,760
expect.
Well, of course it's got to be.
595
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,640
Yeah, but it's great.
So I feel bad for you.
596
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,400
You know what you should do if
you're at work and you you feel
597
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,160
like you're going to cry for
probably not that damn show.
598
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,200
Listen to us.
Yes, we'll make you laugh.
599
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,280
Cry.
You know what?
600
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,880
Just walk in and cry on your
fucking Co worker's desk.
601
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,680
Yeah, do it.
Do it at work.
602
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,200
Yeah, get.
Paid for it.
603
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,680
Don't cry before work.
Go in, clock in, and then cry.
604
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,040
Because I can assume that this
is probably a female.
605
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,280
If they ask you why you're
crying, blame it on lady
606
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,640
troubles.
They'll send your ass home
607
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,640
probably on maybe a paid day
off.
608
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,720
Probably I get it.
You want to win the lottery?
609
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:24,920
I get it.
And you have to show up the
610
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,440
fucking work.
I yeah, I get it every day.
611
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,200
Every day.
Next one here is I.
612
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,680
I masturbated in the hospital
bathroom while my kid was being
613
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,680
born.
It was a stress release, don't
614
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,200
judge me.
Wow, I'm.
615
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,040
Gonna so sorry about that but.
I did whatever.
616
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,320
Was she screaming out there like
pushing the baby out while
617
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,920
you're jerking it or?
Hell, that's a great question.
618
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,320
Like was it full blown labor or
were you guys like, you know,
619
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,120
'cause sometimes you get to the
hospital, there's still a few
620
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:55,920
hours before the baby's born.
Were you just trying to rub one
621
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,480
out to kind of relax a little
bit?
622
00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,720
I have questions.
Oh, that all the question.
623
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,480
Nothing about that would make me
horny.
624
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,880
Not a damn thing.
That is a boner killer.
625
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,840
Yeah, but I don't know,
sometimes people get hard when
626
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,600
they're, you know, people get
horny when they're stressed out,
627
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,400
right?
I don't.
628
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:13,600
No.
You know you've never had a
629
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,320
stress fuck.
No.
630
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,160
I've had, yeah, like, I mean,
angry, made-up, but no, not a
631
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,880
stress fuck, I don't think.
If you, if you stress fuck it,
632
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,720
it's basically angry.
Fuck, you've done that.
633
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:30,480
Everybody's done that anyway.
Anyway, this next one says, oh,
634
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,360
it's about me.
Mikey almost sent me to the
635
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:33,960
hospital because his Dick is too
big.
636
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,040
Really.
We're doing this now.
637
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,240
I'm telling you, I didn't go
because because I knew he would
638
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,840
use it as bragging rights.
Also, this is his wife.
639
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,600
And then she puts in parentheses
there.
640
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,680
I sent in a confession by your
Dick.
641
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,440
Remember, we were screaming to
tell our wives, our girlfriends,
642
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,800
to send in a confession about
our Dick stroke.
643
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,560
Stroke and I were because Ian
was getting all those I.
644
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,920
Forgot about that.
Yeah, but she says.
645
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,400
But this actually happened more
than once.
646
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,520
So thank you for for bragging
about my penis.
647
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,600
Are you down here?
All right.
648
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,160
Thank you, I didn't even get a
brag, did I?
649
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,040
Now it's now it's Christina's
turn.
650
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,720
She's got to send a little
something about your your little
651
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:11,640
pee pee that you just.
Live, I'm a pee pee.
652
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,960
The next one is I wear lingerie
under my work clothes just in
653
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,560
case.
Case of what?
654
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,600
Fucking your boss in.
Case she gets fucked, the end.
655
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,760
Or I'm gonna be prepared, I
guess.
656
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,960
Who says the Boy Scouts are the
only ones that are always
657
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,080
prepared, huh?
Wow.
658
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,320
OK, All right, good.
For you?
659
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,480
Good.
For you do it.
660
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,040
I support that.
Next one is I left my drunk
661
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,040
friend at a party once because I
was tired of babysitting.
662
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,040
She was assaulted, she never
told me.
663
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,360
I found out through someone else
and I haven't admitted I left
664
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,040
her on purpose.
Well it's not really your.
665
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,040
It's not your fault or anything.
No, but I can see how you would
666
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,680
feel bad because look, there are
there are people in this world
667
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,880
that I refuse to babysit
anymore.
668
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,640
Stroke is one of them.
And I I you just can't do that
669
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,720
to yourself all the time.
I'm not fucking Superman, all
670
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,400
right?
I don't want to take your drunk
671
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,960
ass anywhere.
If you're not going to be
672
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,520
responsible drunk, then you can
fucking, you know, deal with
673
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,920
yourself or have somebody else
do it because I'm, I'm done.
674
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,240
I'm too old for this.
It's not your responsibility,
675
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,640
but like as dudes, like I don't
wouldn't even care if I left one
676
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:19,920
of my friends somewhere because
they were drunk.
677
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,320
But I feel like if, if it's your
girl, like if you're a couple of
678
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,320
girls and you leave the other
girl, like it's not your fault
679
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,600
she got assaulted, but you're
supposed to be there.
680
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,240
You know what I mean?
Like girls are supposed to look
681
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:30,400
out for each other like that,
right?
682
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:31,880
I don't know, I feel like it's
kind of shitty.
683
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:36,600
And I don't party like I did 10
years ago.
684
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,840
What are you talking about?
And. 10 years ago was when I
685
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,520
decided not to babysit you
anymore.
686
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,280
Oh, what did I do?
I don't even remember, I was
687
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,360
drunk too.
Oh, OK, yeah.
688
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,640
I think, I think that I, if I'm
not mistaken, I think you might
689
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:54,880
have just not been able to sit
up in your chair and I got tired
690
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,600
of putting you back in it.
So I'm just like, leave them
691
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,320
there.
And the bouncer said, no, we
692
00:30:58,320 --> 00:30:59,400
can't leave them on the
concrete.
693
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,080
So he picked you up, put you on
a like a, a, a booth seat and I
694
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,320
kind of just left you.
What the fuck was this?
695
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,120
Was this?
It was a diamond plate.
696
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,320
Oh, they didn't.
Care.
697
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,440
OK, well, that's.
A long time ago, that's when.
698
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,040
Yeah, I don't.
I'm like, I don't even party
699
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,360
like that no more.
Damn.
700
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,920
This is a different time in
life.
701
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,880
Yeah, I've become a better
person, Yeah.
702
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,120
Yeah, I think we're all better
people.
703
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,240
We've grown since.
Question mark, but yeah.
704
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,360
Question mark indeed.
Yes, that wasn't plugged.
705
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,600
All right, next one here says I
took a shit in a Wendy's Cup and
706
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,680
left it in the back seat of my
ex's unlocked car during summer.
707
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,160
Gross.
Oh my God, I hope this is a
708
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,960
woman.
I actually do too.
709
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,120
I assumed it was that's.
What I thought too, my head went
710
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,120
immediately that it was a woman
who did that.
711
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,600
That's funny.
That's a new game we need to
712
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,160
play during confessions, man or
woman.
713
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,640
Oh, that's good.
We should do that.
714
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,640
There's definitely a woman
Wendy's Cup.
715
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:58,880
I made her own Frosty.
It was a.
716
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,240
Frosty.
It had to be a frosty cup it.
717
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,080
Had to be a frosty.
Cup or chili, I will accept
718
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,200
that.
I never shoot in a cup.
719
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,960
I cannot say that I have either.
I've shoot in a lake, not a cup.
720
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,040
Yeah, Rivers, I've never shoot
in a cup.
721
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,680
I've.
Never shoot in a river over
722
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,080
anybody of water.
It's called an Aqua dump.
723
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,960
Oh it's great.
And I remember watching my turd
724
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,840
like there's a bunch of people
canoeing and like swimming and
725
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,120
I'm watching my turd like float
towards him and they just swim
726
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,760
through my shit.
It was great.
727
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:27,440
Terrible.
Why not just poop outside?
728
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:28,760
Like it just poop in the woods?
I don't.
729
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,560
Want to go to the woods?
Technically the lake and rivers
730
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,760
are outside.
It's easier to just shit in the
731
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,160
water.
I mean it felt weird, but it was
732
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,880
easy.
It it feels so weird, like this
733
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:42,120
was back when I was like 17.
I can't really recreate that
734
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,480
feeling unless I do it again,
but I remember it just being
735
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,040
like that.
It was awkward.
736
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,040
It just doesn't feel right.
It it feels unnatural.
737
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,520
Yeah, like even when you're like
in a river or lake and you piss,
738
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,920
you piss on yourself, but it
still feels, yeah, good it.
739
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,640
Feels good, like, I don't know,
I've been in the river and I
740
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,120
peed on myself or whatever.
You get that a little warm.
741
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:05,800
Warm.
Yeah.
742
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,560
You're like this.
Goes by you, yeah.
743
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,440
Or if you're like, you know what
the worst thing is, is if you're
744
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,000
in the water, like in a river or
lake or something and you're not
745
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,200
peeing, but all of a sudden this
little patch of warm water so
746
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,080
fire, you know, someone just
peed and it just touched you.
747
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,040
That's somebody else's piss.
And what's funny is when you
748
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,040
when you're pissing, but you got
to keep a straight face and
749
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,360
you're having a conversation
like, yeah.
750
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,280
So then you're like, oh God.
But.
751
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,680
You're like, because when we go
to the, when we go to the beach,
752
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,400
like we'll, we'll have a couple
of beers and then, you know,
753
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,080
we'll just go up waist high and
just have a couple more beers.
754
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,000
I'll look my friend's dead in
the face like, hey, I'm pissed
755
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,680
and don't come over here.
Just stare at them.
756
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,040
Yeah, all the time.
Hey, will you look at me?
757
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,120
I'm peeing.
I want you to look me in the
758
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,120
eyes.
I need you to look or I can't
759
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:51,800
pee.
This next one is I slept with my
760
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,520
best friend's dad twice.
Wow, we are so close.
761
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,880
We're basically sisters.
That's kind of gross since I've
762
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,520
known him most of my life.
That's also gross.
763
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:00,960
That's some American Beauty
shit.
764
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:06,000
Good for you, good for you, I.
Mean I can do your thing, but I
765
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000
mean, is this guy married?
That's fucked up.
766
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,920
You know, I don't know, like
what's the because I, I know,
767
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:16,679
like, I amongst guys, there
should be that never that
768
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,239
basically pinky promise to each
other that we don't fuck each
769
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:21,480
other.
You don't fuck your your best
770
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,960
friend's mom.
Is that the same with Jicks?
771
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,199
I don't think so.
Like don't fuck my dad.
772
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,440
I don't think so, I think.
It's the other way around I
773
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,159
think.
I don't think it is, I think.
774
00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:32,719
It's but once you fuck your
friend's mom, it's like right
775
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,840
that time I fucked your friend,
your mom, you got that.
776
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:40,400
He's coming.
And he has every right to sock
777
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,639
you in the.
Face he does, but you got to be
778
00:34:42,639 --> 00:34:44,320
willing to take the punch.
You got it.
779
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,159
Yeah, you better like if.
You're going to do that?
780
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:48,400
Yeah, you got to be.
Prepared.
781
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,040
He made jokes about it for 16
years.
782
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,800
If Stroke ever slept with my mom
he would get a punch in the
783
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,400
face.
I wouldn't like it was the
784
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,639
biggest, it was the biggest load
I kept all week.
785
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,040
You know what, that's two
punches.
786
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,000
I'm going to hit you just for
that.
787
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,280
Cream pie, that bitch.
How's your mom?
788
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,240
I.
Just think.
789
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:08,240
That's fine.
You know what?
790
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,800
Let's just have a duel at high
noon, you know, you bring your.
791
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,840
Gun kill me just for the thought
of this even happening, but I've
792
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,480
not.
I do actually, and I'm sad
793
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:16,880
you're not here.
This is a.
794
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,440
This is a video call because.
I'm, you know, you hold your
795
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,720
gun, you put your finger on the
trigger.
796
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:22,360
It fucks me up every single
time.
797
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,720
This is not safe.
It's actually at.
798
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,040
The I'll shoot him, I'll shoot
him back.
799
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,280
I just say that this is, you
know, you want to sleep with
800
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,600
your best friend's dad, fine.
But if you guys are basically
801
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,720
sisters and you've known him
most of your life, I think that
802
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,080
that's disgusting on the dad's
part.
803
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:40,920
Put that.
Out.
804
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,800
If you're yeah, you're basically
sisters.
805
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,240
That feels like grooming.
Yeah, it's.
806
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,280
Yes, it does so.
Well, I'm the only one here that
807
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,680
says do.
You I mean, do you sure, live
808
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,520
your life, but.
She should also be able to kick
809
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,760
your ass.
This one says I faked the panic
810
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,280
attack during sex so he'd stop
and I wouldn't have to fake
811
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,080
another orgasm.
Oh.
812
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,280
Jesus.
Like are you dating this guy?
813
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:10,760
Just break up or teach him.
I think this was a probably a
814
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,480
one time thing or a two time
thing.
815
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,440
See this.
This did not continue on.
816
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,440
Damn it, Christina, why you
write that?
817
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,560
Sometimes you got to just give
the guy the code, you know what
818
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:20,760
I'm saying?
Sometimes he just needs the
819
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:24,000
code.
The combination, yeah, fuck,
820
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,840
it's not that hard and most
dudes aren't going to be
821
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,200
offended by it.
Now to the left.
822
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,960
Yeah, yeah.
Boom, boom, boom.
823
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:31,600
Gotcha.
Boom.
824
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:37,680
I'll wear that shit on my face.
I would not be upset.
825
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,320
Yeah.
If you wanted to, you know,
826
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,640
introduce toys in your like, if
you need your rose or whatever
827
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,000
you want to call it, I'll get
mine.
828
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,880
I don't trust me.
I got no problem getting mine.
829
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,400
I but I But as a gentleman, I
would rather have you have yours
830
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,880
first.
Couple times not mad.
831
00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:00,000
I like to wear that shit on me.
Just go to work.
832
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,800
You're disgusting.
No, there's something about it.
833
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,400
It looks like dry powder but
it's like.
834
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,160
I know where you're going, yeah.
I know it's so sexy.
835
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,200
It's like, to me, it's like
it's.
836
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:11,400
Not sexy.
It's it'll be ten, 11:00 in the
837
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,160
morning and you're like, hey, I
fucked this morning.
838
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,280
You just just dry cum all over
you.
839
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,240
I just think it's so hot.
I'm nasty though.
840
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,680
We know you ruin every
conversation by the by.
841
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,840
The No, but this is like a thing
I really like.
842
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,520
I'm telling you, I enjoy it.
This is kink, is what he's
843
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,240
telling us.
Yeah, dry cum.
844
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,320
All over my Dick.
I look at it, I'm like, yes.
845
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,040
That's so fucking.
Gross.
846
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,360
I love it.
I don't even want to shower, I
847
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:39,120
just want to wear it.
This next one says.
848
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,480
Where's my friend?
Yeah, I know my best friend
849
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,280
thinks we drifted apart
naturally.
850
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,720
The truth is I slowly cut her
out over six months because
851
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:51,240
she's fucking nuts.
Sometimes you got to cut crazy
852
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:52,360
out of your life.
I I.
853
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,160
Yeah.
I support this.
854
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,960
Yes.
I've known people that are very
855
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:00,040
close to me who have had best
friends who are also crazy.
856
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,640
And you sometimes you do, you
got to cut them out.
857
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,640
You you just if they're drama or
they're just not bringing any
858
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,560
anything good to your life,
There's I've.
859
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,920
Cut out friends for the exact
same reason.
860
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,200
I'm not not none of this.
I knew people that did.
861
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,960
Like no, I've done this.
You were bringing me down and I
862
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,520
don't need that kind of shit in
my life.
863
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:18,720
You know, I guess you're right
too.
864
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:21,440
I honestly, I think I have too.
Like there's friends of mine I
865
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,360
just don't talk to anymore
because I'm like, man, I have
866
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,800
your time.
There's nothing wrong with that.
867
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,240
The older you get, cutting out
bullshit because you're getting
868
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:30,040
too old and too you're getting
tired of it.
869
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,760
Just sometimes you got to cut
people out.
870
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,360
Sometimes you got to limit
people in your life, including
871
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,320
family.
That's true, definitely true.
872
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:42,200
All right, last one here is I
stayed with a guy I hated
873
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:46,120
because the sex was violent,
violent and I didn't know how to
874
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,600
ask someone else to do that
shit.
875
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,840
So this person's into.
There's a website I can direct
876
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,320
you to that I get all these
Craigslist things from.
877
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,280
It's called Fetlife.
You know, go live your kinky
878
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:01,720
lifestyle over there.
They mean like punching each
879
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:04,200
other in the face like I'm.
I don't know what this means.
880
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,480
That's what I when I see the
word, that's exactly what I
881
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:11,040
think.
I think punching, you know,
882
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,640
donkey punch type shit.
Rear Rear Admiral banging their
883
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,320
head into the fucking that.
That give of the old Hank Moody
884
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,360
special.
Yeah, that type of stuff.
885
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,400
God, if I got punched in the
face, I'd cry.
886
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,680
Same.
I would like that.
887
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:29,280
I will say that right now.
I got slapped in the face once I
888
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,600
stopped.
I'm like what the fuck was that?
889
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,320
Why did they slap you?
Because they were just into.
890
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,640
It apparently so, but they there
was no they didn't ask, they
891
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,080
just did it and I was, I
stopped.
892
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,720
I'm like what the fuck is wrong
with you?
893
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:43,160
Why did you?
Do that.
894
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,680
No, you can't.
You can't just introduce things
895
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:48,000
without a conversation.
Yeah, I almost killed a bitch
896
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,920
once.
I'm fine.
897
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,600
Well she's like choking me and
then she like choke me bitch and
898
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:53,800
then I start getting mad.
I'm like.
899
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,440
Choke me harder motherfucker
gonna be a little bitch about.
900
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,440
It call me a pussy.
I'm like you fucking gonna die.
901
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:03,160
I was like talking.
Out you're like, oh, you want
902
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,040
more?
Yeah, fucking you better see
903
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,880
blackout.
Fuck.
904
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,920
Oh man.
Holy shit.
905
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,720
All right, well, that's this
week's confessions.
906
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:14,200
If you want to confess anything,
like maybe you almost murdered
907
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,400
somebody when you're having sex
with them because they wanted to
908
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,360
be choked and you're not angry,
let us know.
909
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,640
You can hit click the little
link in the description or
910
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,960
heading over to not tds.com and
submit it that way as well.
911
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,200
Remember, they are anonymous.
There is no way for us to ever
912
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,880
know who sent that.
So there we go.
913
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,400
All right, let's move on to
today's list.
914
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:38,200
Ian has the top ten lies we were
told, I'm assuming as kids as.
915
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,120
Children, yes.
Oh great.
916
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:46,840
And every single one of these is
a big hot fat load of horseshit
917
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:51,320
that we were spoon fed through
our entire childhood and it
918
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,360
pisses me off.
Well, I'm excited to hear this
919
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,440
because there's a lot of things
that as I've gotten older, I've
920
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:57,160
learned like that was a total
fucking lie.
921
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:58,360
And I'm like, why?
Why?
922
00:40:58,360 --> 00:40:59,600
Yeah.
Did you lie to us?
923
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:01,120
That's.
Another thing, it's like, why
924
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,120
were you?
Why were some of these things
925
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,160
told to us?
Like there are, there's one in
926
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,840
here that I'm like, OK, I get
why you told us that and I'll
927
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,400
explain why they told us that
later on.
928
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,920
But for example, why were we
told that you have to wait an
929
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,440
hour after you eat to go
swimming?
930
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,720
Oh, I was told 30 minutes.
I was told 30 minutes doesn't.
931
00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:23,480
Matter you There's no scientific
study that says either of those
932
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:27,000
two times makes a difference.
Yeah, I was remind parents made
933
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,080
me sit out.
Yep, same.
934
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,360
You're going to get a cramp or
some shit like that or you'll
935
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,640
throw.
Away what cramps or you'll
936
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,520
drown.
But if you're if you're a good
937
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,160
enough swimmer.
These kids are like in the
938
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,320
water.
Fuck off.
939
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:46,280
Next one, if you touch a frog or
a toad, you'll get warts.
940
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,800
That's a fucking lie.
I heard that they peed on you.
941
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,640
Also a lie.
Now some of them can excrete
942
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,880
toxins or whatever that can
either cause chemical burns or
943
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,160
hallucinations, but warts in
general, no.
944
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,400
We go licking some toads man,
you start tripping balls.
945
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,080
Yeah, who was the first fucker
that licked a toad?
946
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:04,960
Think about it.
I don't know.
947
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,600
But what?
I don't know what that guy was
948
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:07,960
doing.
Like that guy was, you know,
949
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,720
something was he wasn't.
All there the toad and the toad
950
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:12,840
just looks all sweaty and you're
like, I wonder what that tastes
951
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,640
like and then you.
Lick a lot of burgers out there
952
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:15,960
eating.
He's licking toads.
953
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,520
You're like damn, he's getting
hot shit, let's lick toads.
954
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,560
Then it becomes a ritual, and
here's licking toads are on the
955
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,640
fire.
I don't know frog legs.
956
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,960
Yes, I have frog legs are
delicious man.
957
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,480
Really, I maybe it's the thought
of it being a toad.
958
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,080
I didn't say they were good, I
just thought I've had them.
959
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,040
They they were good.
It tastes just like fucking
960
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,920
fried chicken it.
Does everything tastes like
961
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,280
fucking?
Chicken.
962
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:46,400
It was fine.
And next is George Washington
963
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,520
chopping down a Cherry Tree.
That was a fucking lie that we
964
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:50,800
were told.
Cannot tell a lie.
965
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,640
It was me who dropped down the
tree.
966
00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:55,240
Fuck off.
This one I understand why they
967
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:58,320
told it to us because it's a
nice moral lesson, but still,
968
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:02,640
you could just tell us not to be
lying pieces of shit and by
969
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,320
because because you're a lot,
you're being a lying piece of
970
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,040
shit by telling us this bullshit
story.
971
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,600
Hold on the end.
I'm I'm I'll call myself out
972
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,760
here.
I remember this story, but why
973
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,640
did what?
What was the moral of this story
974
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,920
of him chopping it down?
I don't remember.
975
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:18,680
When George Washington was a
child, he was, yeah, he was
976
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:22,240
gifted A hatchet as a kid at
which is a terrible gift for a
977
00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:24,560
child.
So he went out and chopped down
978
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:28,000
a Cherry Tree and his father
confronted him and he said,
979
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:32,200
father, I cannot tell a lie.
Yes, I did chop down to Jerry
980
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,360
Tree and like yeah, he that
never happened.
981
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:38,360
No.
That's bullshit.
982
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,520
There's no point on us this
fucking story.
983
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,240
Seriously.
The moral of the story I get but
984
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:45,600
like make up a different tell us
a different story about
985
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,320
something that actually happened
to make us not lying sacks of
986
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,080
shit I.
Remember, my daughter was 2 and
987
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,200
I got her first hatchet, you
know, it was great.
988
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:01,840
Anyway, next, if you sit too
close to the TV, it'll ruin your
989
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,560
eyes.
Yeah, we literally put TV's on
990
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,040
our eyes nowadays.
Yeah, fucking virtual reality.
991
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,080
You're living in the TV.
Yeah, there's no scientific
992
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,880
study to back up that claim at.
All no in my I remember my
993
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,760
parents telling me like I had an
an aunt and she they said they
994
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:20,920
said she's like this because she
said so so close to TV when she
995
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,480
was a kid.
So I believed it.
996
00:44:23,240 --> 00:44:24,800
Yeah, I bet that scared the shit
out of you.
997
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,240
How?
Do I get blind?
998
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,640
Nobody does.
What about the Maybe if you
999
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:30,800
masturbate too much?
Yeah.
1000
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,120
Jerk off your blah blah or
you'll get hairy palms.
1001
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,520
Yeah, oh, that's why my eyes are
going bad.
1002
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:36,080
Finally.
That's.
1003
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:40,280
What I thought too, I was like.
Damn, but if you eat enough this
1004
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,240
isn't on here.
But they also said that carrots
1005
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:44,560
help your eyesight.
That's just not true at all
1006
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:46,600
either.
Not true.
1007
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,600
No next lie.
These are making me mad.
1008
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,080
Gum stays in your stomach for
seven years.
1009
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,440
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I remember that.
1010
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,120
Not true at all.
I ate a lot of gum as a kid,
1011
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,400
hoping that I would remember 7
years later to see if I pooped
1012
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:02,920
out.
A lot of gum.
1013
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,480
Marked it on the calendar it.
Didn't happen.
1014
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:10,880
What's funny is because gum does
take longer to break down.
1015
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:14,280
It can stay in your stomach up
to like 6 days maybe, but not
1016
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,560
seven years.
That's insane.
1017
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:17,960
It's not.
It's horseshit.
1018
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:19,480
Why did they tell us that
though?
1019
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,440
Why did it matter like?
That's what I'm that's, that's
1020
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,560
what I'm wondering.
This is one of those that makes
1021
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,840
no sense to tell people.
Like you don't want your kids
1022
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,600
sitting too close to the TV.
Fine, I mean, whatever, but not
1023
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:36,480
swallowing gum.
What what does this do for us?
1024
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,280
Like I've never told my son that
I and I don't because I don't
1025
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,200
see what the point of it is.
I told my daughter that and
1026
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,800
she's like, that's not true.
Yeah, it's.
1027
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,280
Like they Google it, Fact Check
it.
1028
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,200
Yeah, yeah, these kids Fact
Check it now.
1029
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:52,160
Like shut up.
Turn the light off in the car,
1030
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:53,600
the cops can pull me over.
It actually died.
1031
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:59,280
According to Google, it doesn't.
No fucking Google.
1032
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:04,360
All right, next crock of shit.
Cracking your knuckles causes
1033
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,440
arthritis.
Oh, you've heard that too?
1034
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,040
Yeah, I.
Remember when I learned that
1035
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,760
that wasn't true in my mom and
tried something that's going to
1036
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,200
cause I'm like no it's not.
I learned that at a young age
1037
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,800
like that is not true.
That is an old wives tale.
1038
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:19,080
There's nothing true about that
because all it is is air you're
1039
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:19,880
just popping.
Air.
1040
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,480
Yeah, I remember when I first
found that out.
1041
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,880
I think it was like junior high.
I'm like, wait, it's just air
1042
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:25,800
bubbles cracking.
That's all it is.
1043
00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:27,960
And that's so good, kind of good
for you.
1044
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,680
Like it is good.
Now in your older age they say
1045
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:36,160
that it can reduce grip
strength, but as young as we
1046
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:40,080
are, and yes we are three young,
young lads.
1047
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,000
Young Bucks.
Yeah, we're we should be fine.
1048
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:49,160
Next one, this one, you can see
the Great Wall of China from
1049
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,800
space.
You can't they look.
1050
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:55,640
Yeah.
You can't That's that's that's
1051
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,440
so far away.
Why wouldn't make any?
1052
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,520
Why would anybody think that you
could see a wall?
1053
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,440
Yeah.
It's not even a big wall, it's a
1054
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:07,160
long wall.
But as far as like which as
1055
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,520
width wise goes, it makes no
sense to say that because you
1056
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,800
can't.
Yeah, I don't know what the
1057
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,320
naked eye.
I don't know the point of some
1058
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,360
of these lies.
I don't either.
1059
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,280
Why were we told this?
I also don't know the point of
1060
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,040
the Great Wall of China.
I'm just going to be real.
1061
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,520
To keep out the Mongolians is.
That what it was.
1062
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,800
Yeah.
How long it taking to build that
1063
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,080
shit?
I mean hundreds of years.
1064
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,680
A long time, Yeah, a long time.
But right now it's just a
1065
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:38,200
tourist trap.
Next, dogs can see black and
1066
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,240
white.
Little Asians just building the
1067
00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:43,120
wall Little.
Little ones.
1068
00:47:44,720 --> 00:47:46,160
Dogs only see in black and
white.
1069
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:49,000
Again, not true.
They yeah, but they experience a
1070
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,480
vast color or a vast wheel of
colors, not like cars.
1071
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:54,960
No, it's like they're kind of
color blind or something like
1072
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,160
that in a weird way.
But but yeah, the the in TV
1073
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,680
shows and cartoons, it's always
when you see from a dog's point
1074
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,240
of view, it's always in black
and white.
1075
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,640
That's horseshit.
But also, how do we know?
1076
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:06,640
I don't even know where that
started.
1077
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:09,360
Yeah, that's true.
Because, you know, when I I grew
1078
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,440
up, I used to deer hunt.
And they say the same thing,
1079
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,920
Like deer can't see color, but
you'd wear these bright orange
1080
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,520
vests.
And they told us this.
1081
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:18,400
But I always question like, how
do we really know?
1082
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,480
Because we don't really know.
We think we know.
1083
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,560
Yeah, we, we're not.
We can't see the world through
1084
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,720
the dog's eyes.
So there's no real way to know.
1085
00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:29,240
Like, I mean, I mean, they could
probably, you know, do whatever
1086
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:33,040
tests on the eyeballs to see
what nerves and stuff and see
1087
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,000
what colors, I guess.
But still, there's no real way
1088
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:40,120
to know.
I don't know.
1089
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:42,800
I'm sure there's there's
scientific ways to find out that
1090
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,000
I can't explain to you.
Yeah.
1091
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,120
I'm sure there is.
We're just, we're just not that
1092
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:49,800
smart.
Yeah, exactly.
1093
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,200
Like you can, you can train a
good smart dog like to go get
1094
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,600
the red bone or the blue bone or
whatever.
1095
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,640
That's probably what happened.
Maybe.
1096
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,000
Maybe.
Let's see, where are we at?
1097
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,520
Oh, I this one again.
This one makes no sense to tell
1098
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,720
people at all.
Swallowing a watermelon seed
1099
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:10,640
will make a watermelon grow in
your stomach.
1100
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,080
Did you guys hear that one?
Yeah, I wanted that to happen.
1101
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,840
I swallowed them all the time.
Like how fuck is there a
1102
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:16,920
watermelon on my throat?
Let's see what happens.
1103
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,480
I remember hearing it but I
never believed it even as a
1104
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:21,920
little kid.
And like, that's bullshit.
1105
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,760
When I was the littlest,
littlest kid, like maybe 3 years
1106
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,360
old, I believed it.
But then I got older and I'm
1107
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,440
like, that doesn't make any
fucking sense.
1108
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,560
No, I want a seedless
watermelon.
1109
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:32,640
I don't want to fucking pick it
out.
1110
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:33,440
This is America.
I'm.
1111
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,240
Telling you because I don't want
to be crunching on them when I
1112
00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:36,120
eat the damn thing.
These.
1113
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:38,440
Fucking peasants eating seeds.
Yeah.
1114
00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:42,800
Watermelon seeds.
Yeah, I I don't fucking know why
1115
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:46,360
that even started.
And this is my favorite lie that
1116
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,800
we were all told as children.
You guys are going to like this
1117
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,160
one is the lie.
You can be anything you want to
1118
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,840
be when you grow up.
Now some of you are stupid.
1119
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,120
You.
Know that is the biggest crock
1120
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:01,600
of horseshit.
Yeah, like I can't be a brain
1121
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,400
surgeon.
I know I'm not smart enough.
1122
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:05,520
Like, I get it.
I understand.
1123
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,800
Yeah, because like I, my, my
girlfriend sometimes says
1124
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,360
because we'll argue and she's
like, you should have been a
1125
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:13,120
lawyer.
I'm like, I can't do that.
1126
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,240
The amount of schooling that
shit takes it, there's no way I
1127
00:50:16,240 --> 00:50:18,760
could have done it.
Yeah, you can't be anything you
1128
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:20,240
want to be.
You really can't.
1129
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,120
No, you can't.
You can try.
1130
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,520
Yeah.
I mean, you can definitely, you
1131
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,760
can definitely like do something
adjacent.
1132
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,920
I always knew I wanted to
entertain, but I I knew I wasn't
1133
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,520
going to be a Hollywood movie
star.
1134
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,160
And if you just kind of just
just figure out what you want to
1135
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,640
do and just kind of to figure
out a way to stay in that lane.
1136
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,800
Yeah, that's, that's really what
it is.
1137
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:44,120
Find out what you want and then
if you pursue it and and do all
1138
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:48,240
the things to get to that level,
or there's a better chance at
1139
00:50:48,240 --> 00:50:49,560
least.
Even if you did, even if you're
1140
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,800
Ian and you wanted to be a movie
star, like then you go, you you
1141
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,560
go to school, you get a fucking
degree, you get an acting degree
1142
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,760
or whatever.
You go to LA, you fucking suck a
1143
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,400
few Hollywood directors Dick
Dicks.
1144
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:01,080
I was going.
To say he's going to have to
1145
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:02,560
suck some Dicks out there in
Hollywood.
1146
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,720
Like that's what sometimes
that's what you got to do.
1147
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,920
You got to suck a Dick if that's
what you want.
1148
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,800
Yeah, you know, sometimes you
just got to suck a Dick to get
1149
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,440
ahead.
That's exactly what I'm trying
1150
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,320
to say.
That's in the Bible.
1151
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,840
Somewhere in there.
Somewhere in.
1152
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:24,520
The back, it's in the back.
Right, so that's a pretty good
1153
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:25,840
list.
Those, those are all really
1154
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:26,360
fucking.
Dumb.
1155
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,120
Yeah, every one of those I heard
before.
1156
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,200
Yeah, that was pretty good.
We got a couple of damn problems
1157
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,480
we'll get into right now.
Got a problem?
1158
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,280
What the hell is your problem?
Maybe we can help.
1159
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:36,280
I felt I had a.
Problem.
1160
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:42,560
What's your damn problem?
If you ever have a damn problem,
1161
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:46,960
feel free to e-mail any one of
us or not TDs at Gmail.
1162
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,480
I don't want to just think over
the website and submit it that
1163
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:50,760
way you can do it.
It's a lot easier that way.
1164
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,400
All right, so there's just two
today.
1165
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:56,480
This first one, I'll just read
it right.
1166
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,640
The way it's written says found
a string of texts on my wife's
1167
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:03,400
phone from a guy at work.
Nothing outright sexual, but
1168
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:07,200
definitely crossing a line.
Stuff like don't tempt me or you
1169
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:11,320
looked dangerous today.
Oh hell no, I would.
1170
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,240
Fucking kick.
Hey, I don't know what that
1171
00:52:13,240 --> 00:52:15,680
means.
If some guy fucking said that
1172
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,320
shit to my wife, I would be very
angry.
1173
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:20,640
All right?
So anyways, there's a lot of
1174
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:23,480
flirty emojis.
She says it's just office banter
1175
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,480
and I'm being insecure.
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
1176
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,040
But she deleted some of the
messages before I could read the
1177
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,720
whole thread and now I can't
stop wondering what else she's
1178
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:32,600
hiding.
I haven't confronted her again
1179
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,160
because I don't want to blow up
our marriage if it is really
1180
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,280
just harmless.
Oh, my gut is telling me that
1181
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,200
it's not just joking around.
Am I being paranoid or is there
1182
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:41,680
something going on?
Oh, I'd be pissed.
1183
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,240
So pissed.
So fucking mad.
1184
00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:46,160
Like you have every right to be
mad, I would say.
1185
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:51,240
Yeah, because like even like I
and I give my girlfriend credit,
1186
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:55,760
even if it it might seem
innocent, but she'll tell me.
1187
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:58,080
It's like, is this the way this
person said it?
1188
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:02,560
Is this is this weird?
And I'm like, yes or no, babe, I
1189
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,920
think you're over analyzing it
because she's, you know, a good
1190
00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:08,160
girlfriend and she's like, hey,
I think this guy's hitting on
1191
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:09,120
me.
This is what he said.
1192
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:10,360
I'm like, Oh yeah, he definitely
is.
1193
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:15,640
But you're But she.
The problem with this is your
1194
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:19,200
wife is entertaining this and
letting it go on and that is a
1195
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,440
fuck no for me.
And maybe I am the only one here
1196
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:27,360
and that's fine, but that whole
my work, my work husband, my
1197
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:31,560
work wife, that will fuck you.
That ain't not no, that's a
1198
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,520
coworker.
Yeah, that's not a thing.
1199
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:35,920
There's no such thing.
There's no work wife, there's no
1200
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:37,520
work husband.
There's nothing like that.
1201
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,320
That's your Co worker.
You guys could be friends, sure,
1202
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:40,400
whatever.
I don't give a fuck.
1203
00:53:40,720 --> 00:53:42,560
But that's it.
That's the extent of you all.
1204
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,400
You shouldn't even really be
texting each other stuff like
1205
00:53:45,720 --> 00:53:48,360
like there's no reason to be
texting that that much to get to
1206
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:50,360
a point where you're saying
things like don't tempt me or
1207
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,080
you look dangerous today.
That that text right there is
1208
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,680
fucking crossing the line.
You gotta come down to your job,
1209
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,240
put my foot up in somebody's
ass.
1210
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,620
Like even the closest thing I
could ever have to a quote UN
1211
00:54:01,620 --> 00:54:05,040
quote work wife would be Jen and
there's not a single message
1212
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:09,000
between her and I at all.
Yeah, I've.
1213
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:10,880
Never.
I've never sent A1 on one text
1214
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,320
to her in my life.
Even the girl that used to be on
1215
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,040
the show when we worked with her
for years and we've had there's
1216
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,240
probably text messages, but
there's never, ever been
1217
00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:21,360
anything that's said like that
at all.
1218
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:25,600
At one point Lara could have
been considered our work wife or
1219
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:28,640
whatever, but I would never say
that and I would never text
1220
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,920
anything like that, no.
I think that's disrespectful to
1221
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,080
the spouse or somebody.
Percent.
1222
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:37,600
They're with, Yeah.
It's not even a term I use.
1223
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,400
I just when I hear that it makes
a.
1224
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,840
Lot stupid term like.
You go to work with this
1225
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,320
motherfucker.
Yeah.
1226
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:48,560
And I and I get that some people
need that to, to make work feel
1227
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:53,040
like less of a, of a commitment
and a job like we have, we have
1228
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:54,960
a, a family here at work and I
have a.
1229
00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:57,760
Work husband like.
No, because I because when I go
1230
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:02,600
to the karaoke bar, I have a
there's a bartender that I like
1231
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:06,440
working with more than anybody
else, but he's not like my work
1232
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,480
bestie.
Like no, he's just the guy I get
1233
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,480
along with the most.
It's not your work, husband.
1234
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,480
No.
Right.
1235
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,800
I mean, and it sounds funny, but
I'm serious.
1236
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,560
Like you wouldn't say that.
Yeah.
1237
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,200
This guy's like, is it trust
your gut?
1238
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,600
Dude?
Like you even said, it's like my
1239
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,560
gut's telling me this isn't
joking around.
1240
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,560
You don't trust your gut.
Seriously, I don't want another
1241
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:32,840
one too much to handle it,
Trump.
1242
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:34,720
Just got another wife, He.
Doesn't.
1243
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:37,280
Yeah, I don't want one like.
I don't want to go to work and
1244
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,800
have a work wife.
Yeah, like your Co host.
1245
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:43,000
You wouldn't call her your work
wife.
1246
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,200
No, no.
Your wife, your current wife
1247
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,960
would get very mad at you.
Yeah, like I said, current wife.
1248
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,760
That's hilarious.
I keep giving her a countdown to
1249
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,120
annulment, by the way.
And then I realized in Florida
1250
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:57,400
we don't have 30 days.
I gave her 25 more days, 24
1251
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,200
days.
I get AI get a feeling like if I
1252
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:03,760
ever, if I ever came home and I
said that, you know, and I
1253
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,360
called somebody if a female
bartender, if I called her my
1254
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,360
work wife, my girlfriend would
probably be like I think you
1255
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:11,720
need to quit your job.
Yeah, my wife would get her off
1256
00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:12,880
of me if I said something.
Yeah.
1257
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:16,040
So even when I go like like
Terran that I work with on the
1258
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:20,160
actual radio, we will sometimes
have lunch like once a week or
1259
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,920
every other couple weeks.
It's just more like sitting
1260
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:26,600
around talking, you know, radio.
Yeah.
1261
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,360
But never keep it a secret.
It's like we're going to go have
1262
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,720
and she understands because she
knows and she like like there's
1263
00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:33,640
nothing there.
But we understand that.
1264
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,240
I can see where that could if
that ever became a problem, then
1265
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:38,120
I would probably eliminate that.
But it's it.
1266
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,000
We were doing that way before,
you know.
1267
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:43,120
But but if it became like it's
not a secret like you said so
1268
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,280
but if it's something that you
are keeping a secret and not
1269
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:48,760
telling that even if even if it
was nothing, it still seems a
1270
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,160
little suspicious.
So it's good that you're being
1271
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,880
open and honest about it.
Yeah, my wife is being open and
1272
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:57,080
honest.
And this text or this e-mail or
1273
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,640
isn't is not your wife is not
being open.
1274
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:01,200
And she deleted shit like no.
They're shady cunt.
1275
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:03,840
Deleted.
So your mind and actually thinks
1276
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,520
the very worst of the worst,
right?
1277
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,600
Yeah.
If it's being deleted then why
1278
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,600
don't you want me to see it?
If I see evidence that something
1279
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,680
was deleted, like like when you
delete a message on Facebook
1280
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,320
Messenger, like because
sometimes I'll I'll send the
1281
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,120
wrong emoji to my girlfriend,
I'll delete it.
1282
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,080
It says message was deleted,
She'll go, what did you send?
1283
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,160
Oh yeah.
For sure, no.
1284
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,960
And I and I don't mind telling
her, but now there's evidence
1285
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,960
that you deleted a message.
Now you're like, what the fuck
1286
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:29,400
was deleted?
Was it a picture?
1287
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:31,960
Was it a spicy text?
What the fuck?
1288
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:36,000
So if she's going to be a shady
cunt, then yeah, yeah.
1289
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,160
Follow your instincts man.
I don't want to tell you to end
1290
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,120
your marriage, but fuck, this is
not looking good.
1291
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:42,960
This is not a good.
At least.
1292
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,760
Like figure it out before you go
doing that.
1293
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:46,560
Like make sure you have concrete
evidence.
1294
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:48,480
I think the three of us can
affirm you here.
1295
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:52,520
You are not being paranoid and
there's definitely an issue
1296
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,160
here.
So dive further into it.
1297
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,320
Talk to your wife.
I think if Jen was with us
1298
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:58,600
today, she would say the same
thing.
1299
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,360
Something's wrong when you have
to delete things and hide
1300
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,400
things.
Something is missing.
1301
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,480
And what is that puzzle?
Yeah.
1302
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:10,160
Yeah, and if it and if it is,
you know, as bad as you say, you
1303
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:12,240
know, that's like her work
husband, just go to her job,
1304
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,560
bring one of these.
It'll be just fine.
1305
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:18,080
Do it Florida style.
Yeah, that's up, motherfucker.
1306
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:20,520
Exactly.
Just meet in the street.
1307
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,440
Shooting in his Dick.
Shooting in his Dick.
1308
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:24,520
Like, oh, right.
In the Dick, right in the Dick.
1309
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,840
Always shoot him in the Dick.
You look dangerous.
1310
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:28,360
That's you want to show you.
I'm going to show you something
1311
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,720
dangerous, my guy, and show up
there.
1312
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:32,520
Yeah, if you don't kill him, you
just shoot him in the Dick.
1313
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,440
They always have a Dick.
That's just not going to work
1314
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:35,440
again.
So you win.
1315
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,640
You just might have 20 years in
prison.
1316
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,800
But you shot him in the deck.
All right, one more.
1317
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:46,560
This is about a teenager says My
teenage son is a full blown is
1318
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:50,080
full blown addicted to vaping.
I've caught him doing it in the
1319
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,560
bathroom.
I don't know, this is teenage
1320
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:55,400
son behind doing it in the
bathroom behind the garage.
1321
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,760
Just casually ripping clouds mid
meal.
1322
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,760
You think he's sitting at your
fucking kitchen table?
1323
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,920
You're letting him sit at your
kitchen table doing this shit
1324
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,080
here.
He says we've taken his phone,
1325
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:07,040
his Xbox, we've grounded him,
nothing works.
1326
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,200
He says it's not a big deal.
And then throws in my face that
1327
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,720
I used to smoke weed in high
school, which, yeah, I did, but
1328
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,280
I also wasn't thinking.
I also wasn't hitting mango
1329
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:17,680
poison every 10 minutes while
watching Twitch.
1330
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,040
All right, this e-mail may have
not came out of California
1331
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:24,040
because California didn't they
get rid of all the flavors?
1332
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:25,640
Oh yeah.
I don't know where this came
1333
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:26,600
from.
That's a good point.
1334
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:28,880
So I don't know if this maybe
this came from you guys have.
1335
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,720
We have flavors here.
Yeah, you can get flavors.
1336
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:36,160
What I didn't realize was till
recently you got to be 21 to buy
1337
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,800
tobacco here.
I didn't even realize that was a
1338
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:39,920
statue.
I I don't smoke or anything, but
1339
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,400
I just didn't realize that.
Yeah, they they raised, they
1340
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:46,560
raised the smoking age.
They do that everywhere, because
1341
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:48,240
I know.
It's, I don't know, I'm going to
1342
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:49,680
ask you if that's California
too.
1343
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:51,600
I don't know.
I know the flavor thing changed
1344
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,880
when I was out there because I
know people were bitching about
1345
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,120
and.
The menthol thing changed while
1346
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:56,680
we were out there too.
That's right.
1347
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:58,040
Yeah.
They, they don't sell menthol
1348
00:59:58,040 --> 00:59:59,240
cigarettes anymore in
California.
1349
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,000
But I, I, my thing is I want,
hey, I want to know how old he
1350
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,720
is.
Not that that matters too much,
1351
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:09,320
because if he's under 18, shut
that shit down because and, and
1352
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:12,600
I, I, I saw.
It was, I think it was last man
1353
01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:15,040
standing where one of his
daughters was vaping and she's
1354
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,320
like, you know, there's no study
that says this isn't healthy and
1355
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:20,400
or whatever, she said.
And he's like, you're the study.
1356
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,120
Your generation is the study.
We don't know what this will do
1357
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,360
to you long term.
Yeah, I'm not going to give
1358
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:26,680
this.
I'm not going to give this
1359
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,000
person's name, but this person
is no longer with us.
1360
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,960
And he didn't die from this.
But when they went in there and
1361
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,800
examined him, they looked at his
lungs and he had vape for a long
1362
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:35,520
time.
And the doctor described this
1363
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:40,640
like, like popcorn, like it
popped in his lungs because he
1364
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,560
had been vaping for so long.
So, yeah, you're right.
1365
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,560
Ian has not been out there long
enough to know it's kind of like
1366
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,200
that.
What's that fat shot people are
1367
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,520
take?
Like some of the stuff have been
1368
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,720
tested a lot.
You got to be careful with what
1369
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:53,520
you put in your body.
That's true.
1370
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,720
Your your, your generation is
the experiments.
1371
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:00,800
We will know afterwards what the
effects are because like you,
1372
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:02,600
like you said, it hasn't been on
the market long enough.
1373
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:08,200
What, like I I don't maybe 10
years people have been vaping
1374
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,000
like this, maybe a little bit.
Longer, maybe longer, yeah.
1375
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,120
I remember, I remember.
When I was in college, they had
1376
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:20,200
like vaping was just starting to
become a little bit of a trend.
1377
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:22,160
They didn't have the flavors in
the in the boxes.
1378
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:24,680
They were, there was there were
pans that looked like cigarettes
1379
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,320
and they didn't have any.
Then a couple years later they
1380
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:29,600
came out with the with the boxes
that have all the different
1381
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:33,480
flavors and shit.
And I was like, that's so gay.
1382
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,920
Yeah, I just worry about people.
Yeah, I worry about people that
1383
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:41,520
take that, is that GP, whatever
that that that fat shot they
1384
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:42,520
take.
Ozempic.
1385
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,280
GLP one or whatever.
The fuck it is like I see it all
1386
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,200
the time and I worry I I
understand losing weight and why
1387
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:49,640
it's healthy.
Good for you.
1388
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,080
I just.
I'm just concerned that we don't
1389
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,960
know the long term effects of
putting, injecting something
1390
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:58,280
into your body and, and it may
be nothing, but it may be
1391
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:00,800
something, you know what I mean?
Like I'm just concerned about
1392
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:03,280
people overall.
Like is it going to be 30 years?
1393
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,960
Did you take this?
Call us.
1394
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,600
Yeah, for sure.
You know you're going to see
1395
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,760
that you.
May be entitled to compensation.
1396
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:13,240
Yeah, yeah, His dad's like it
says, well, I don't know if it's
1397
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:15,120
a dad or a mom.
Says I've completely lost
1398
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,920
control and I, I don't know if
I'm, I don't know how to parent
1399
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:19,480
him anymore without losing my
shit.
1400
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:22,960
What am I supposed to do?
I know that.
1401
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:24,800
They.
Don't do this anymore.
1402
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,320
Yeah, that's a good question.
That's a great.
1403
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:30,040
I know that parents don't do
this anymore, but would it be so
1404
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:35,880
bad if we brought back the This
is an old parenting trick.
1405
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:39,280
It's called If you don't do what
I tell you, I'm kicking you the
1406
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:43,920
fuck out.
I mean how if the kid is like 14
1407
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:46,160
years old that's one thing, but
if they're 14 years old then
1408
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:47,880
they're vaping and shit like
that like.
1409
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:49,640
That's against the law.
Who's buying them?
1410
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,560
Send whoever find out who's
supplying them and send them to
1411
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:54,520
jail.
Your your kid sounds like an
1412
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:58,200
asshole.
I will say that yeah it needs
1413
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,520
some.
No offense to you, but needs
1414
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:02,360
some fucking discipline.
And I thought he was going a
1415
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:04,160
different direction.
But you remember when we were
1416
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:06,440
younger, it was like if if your
parents caught you smoking.
1417
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,120
I never was a smoker, so I don't
I didn't have the you smoke
1418
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:11,680
until you get sick.
You know, like drinking, drink
1419
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,040
till you get sick.
And then you apparently didn't
1420
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,520
want to do it no more.
I never was that kid.
1421
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:19,200
So I didn't have that problem.
I started smoking till after I
1422
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:22,000
was already legally allowed to
so it didn't matter at that
1423
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,280
point.
But yeah.
1424
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,600
Find where he keeps his pens,
throw them the fuck away.
1425
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:32,120
Yeah, don't just take them.
Throw them away so he can't get
1426
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:34,000
them back.
And then if he shows up with
1427
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,720
another one, I don't know if
this is a, if this is a call the
1428
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:40,680
police kind of thing, because
you want to find out where,
1429
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:43,800
where he's getting them.
You yeah, that's you would try
1430
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:46,720
to get try to find out where
he's getting them from, but you
1431
01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:48,720
just keep remove them, throw
them away.
1432
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:53,520
It's your house, you know you
have like, I don't know, fuck, I
1433
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:55,560
just don't know how much of an
asshole your kid is, but this
1434
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,120
is, it's your house.
These are your.
1435
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,800
Kids are assholes.
And if they're not, but, but
1436
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:02,560
some kids get to, they only push
it to a certain point and then
1437
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:04,560
they're like, all right, I've
pushed my dad or my mom far
1438
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:06,040
enough, I'm going to not be an
asshole anymore.
1439
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:07,320
I got to make sure I'm following
the rules.
1440
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:09,400
But you know, if your kid is
still pushing and pushing,
1441
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:11,440
you've taken all these things
away from take his phone, take
1442
01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:14,520
his Xbox, take literally
everything so he has nothing.
1443
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:17,360
I mean, I just don't put the
fear of God on their kids
1444
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:19,520
anymore.
You're right, they don't raise
1445
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:23,160
him like teach him be a 90s
parent, teach him to be a friend
1446
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,520
of his parent, you know?
He's at Walmart.
1447
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:26,840
He's 14.
Whoops his ass.
1448
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:28,560
Put your belt off his whoops his
ass at Walmart.
1449
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:31,600
In front of everybody.
Yeah, there's a there's a
1450
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:34,120
comedian that I love.
He's like, you know, I was never
1451
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,120
scared of monsters under my bed.
I was scared of my dad.
1452
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:38,680
And that's healthy.
Yeah, yeah.
1453
01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:42,640
I mean that was true and there's
you can go into your child's
1454
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:45,680
room that lives in your home and
search your whole fucking
1455
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:48,280
bedroom and find anything you
fucking want to do.
1456
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,000
Quit being a pussy.
Yeah.
1457
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:52,680
Did you ever see that?
That's what it really comes down
1458
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:55,120
to here with this parent.
And again, no offense to you,
1459
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:57,920
but you got to just, you have to
remember you're the fucking
1460
01:04:57,920 --> 01:04:59,360
parent.
And as Stroke said, quit being a
1461
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:00,800
pussy.
It reminds me of this.
1462
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:03,640
I didn't, I didn't watch the
show, but the clip went viral.
1463
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:05,640
It's it's from the show.
I think it's called Homeland,
1464
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:11,000
where this kid calls the police
on his mom for spanking him for
1465
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,640
ditching school.
The kids like 11 and he calls
1466
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:15,520
the police.
The police show up and they're
1467
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:17,120
like your mom hit you.
Yeah.
1468
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:18,400
Why?
Because I did school.
1469
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:20,240
How many times she hit you?
3 times on the butt.
1470
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:21,800
She ever hit you before?
No.
1471
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:26,320
And the officers like you called
the police because your mom
1472
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:33,560
disciplined you hit him again.
Seriously though, there is a
1473
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:36,240
difference between abuse and
whooping your kids ass.
1474
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:38,080
And I'm sorry but I'm a 90s
person.
1475
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,560
My daughter, I have never
spanked her in her life but
1476
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:42,440
she's scared.
I put the fear of God in her.
1477
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,400
I don't have to, but she knows
that I will.
1478
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,200
If it comes down to it, I will
break some shit.
1479
01:05:49,880 --> 01:05:52,360
And this kid clearly has never
had an ounce of discipline in
1480
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:56,880
his life because they're taking
stuff away only goes so far.
1481
01:05:57,480 --> 01:05:58,960
Oh yeah, for sure.
Like they're OK.
1482
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:00,080
They they get to the point.
Like who cares?
1483
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:01,120
Take whatever the fuck you want
to.
1484
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:04,680
I'm going to do what I want now.
I'll tell you this one time
1485
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:07,120
because you can.
They, they, yes, my Nintendo
1486
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:08,720
have been took was taken away
one time.
1487
01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:11,880
You know what they took once
that really pissed me off?
1488
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,000
They took my door away.
Oh yeah, that's good.
1489
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,360
That's a great one.
Take the door off.
1490
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:20,080
Take the door off.
Great punishment.
1491
01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:24,760
It was gone for like 3 months.
I had no privacy.
1492
01:06:24,960 --> 01:06:27,720
That sucks.
Yeah, and I was 15.
1493
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:30,400
I wanted privacy.
Oh yeah, for sure.
1494
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:34,240
Teenagers like like my my weed
pin disappeared.
1495
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,480
I know my daughter's she's she's
going to be Mikey, like a
1496
01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:38,320
pothead.
Probably.
1497
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:41,480
She's I go, I better find this
motherfucker by the end of the
1498
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:42,480
day.
Guess what?
1499
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:45,240
But it was just there.
She didn't admit anything.
1500
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:46,920
I know.
Just showed up.
1501
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:49,760
Yeah, but yeah, I didn't freak
out because, you know, when I
1502
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:53,440
was 15, once I didn't freak out,
I, I can't say I witnessed it
1503
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:54,440
because I would have been
pissed.
1504
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:57,520
But we've been just magically
appeared.
1505
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:00,720
But yeah, you're dealing with a
teenager.
1506
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:03,080
Take the door off.
You're a teenager and you're
1507
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,720
trying stuff, you know, you're
just trying to do it, but you
1508
01:07:05,720 --> 01:07:08,160
know, there's one thing of like
over parenting and there's
1509
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:12,640
another thing where you're
trying to keep that somewhat of
1510
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:15,200
a balance, 'cause you know, we
were all that way.
1511
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:17,520
Yeah, that's true.
You got to remember that too.
1512
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:19,720
And the kids are going to push.
Kids are going to push because
1513
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,720
that's what they, I mean, even
animals that are in the in that
1514
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:26,040
stage of being technically
teenagers or whatever also do
1515
01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:28,280
the same thing.
They push and and whatever, but
1516
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:29,960
they're trying to learn their
lessons and find their
1517
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:31,480
boundaries.
But your case you you.
1518
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:33,960
Make that boundary.
You got to be the one to also
1519
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:37,440
teach them that you know actions
have consequences, cause and
1520
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:40,080
effect.
You were an asshole, so this
1521
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:41,760
happened.
So when you go out there in the
1522
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:45,480
real world and you're an
asshole, guess what worse shits
1523
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,120
gonna happen than me taking your
fucking iPad away?
1524
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:51,360
Yeah, and you look at kids like
my daughter a couple years ago,
1525
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,600
she thought she was emo sick.
I don't want to mean the sun.
1526
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,040
I'll mean the sun now she's
other word camo and you know
1527
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:59,560
thinking she's a redneck now,
but she's fine her.
1528
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:02,000
But e-mail for that Vince was
even born.
1529
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,880
Just find your.
But you know what?
1530
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:06,600
You got to sit back as a parent
sometimes and just let them find
1531
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:07,960
their way.
And.
1532
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,560
That that's totally different.
Like if you're trying to find
1533
01:08:10,560 --> 01:08:13,720
out you know who you are, what
you like, you know what you want
1534
01:08:13,720 --> 01:08:17,080
to be, that's fine music wise,
changed your taste in clothings,
1535
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:19,319
changed hairstyles.
You find one that works, it
1536
01:08:19,319 --> 01:08:20,800
doesn't.
But when you're literally
1537
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,840
fucking vaping and destroying
your health, listen to all this,
1538
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:25,680
all this gutter music, be my
guest.
1539
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:29,600
But when when it comes to vaping
in my house, absolutely not.
1540
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:33,319
Yeah, you're the parent.
Take that door off I like.
1541
01:08:33,319 --> 01:08:35,680
That, that's a great suggestion.
Good luck with that.
1542
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,720
Yeah, that's a good damn
problem.
1543
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,399
Actually, if you guys ever have
a damn problem, feel free to
1544
01:08:39,399 --> 01:08:40,200
send.
It to us any way you.
1545
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:42,880
Can and we'll do our best to
give you some.
1546
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:45,240
It was turned out to be pretty
good advice.
1547
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:47,439
I would say.
It's been a long time since I've
1548
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:49,720
heard somebody taking the door
off their kids room.
1549
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:51,520
I mean, seriously, I'm, I'm
trying to and I'll tell you
1550
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:54,960
what, it worked for me.
I will say this actually.
1551
01:08:55,319 --> 01:08:57,200
I have never taken my daughter's
door off I've.
1552
01:08:57,359 --> 01:08:59,840
I've threatened it, but I know
that her mom has and she, my
1553
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:02,279
daughter, hates it.
And so I know that it fucking
1554
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,120
sucks, man.
I'm telling you, yeah.
1555
01:09:06,120 --> 01:09:09,399
Yeah, fuck that.
All right, well, it's like I
1556
01:09:09,399 --> 01:09:10,359
said, send us your damn
problems.
1557
01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:11,279
We'll try to help you out.
We do.
1558
01:09:11,279 --> 01:09:12,479
Got some videos.
Again, we haven't done the
1559
01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:15,240
digital dump in a in a while
actually.
1560
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:18,040
So I got a handful of videos
that have come across my feed in
1561
01:09:18,040 --> 01:09:21,439
the past week that I wanted to
play for you guys and we can
1562
01:09:21,439 --> 01:09:23,760
dissect them and talk about them
or make fun of them or just
1563
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:26,600
laugh at them or whatever.
Subscribe to our video service
1564
01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:28,760
if you haven't so you can see
these and get the full.
1565
01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:30,760
Experience You can subscribe on
Patreon.
1566
01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:32,920
This this will be just noise to
you and that's annoying.
1567
01:09:33,399 --> 01:09:36,399
Well, this first.
One is actually you, you.
1568
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:39,279
It is annoying actually, I got
to be honest with you then it is
1569
01:09:39,279 --> 01:09:41,279
it is a lot of noise.
So let's just play this very
1570
01:09:41,279 --> 01:09:43,240
don't forget you can subscribe
on Spotify as well for the
1571
01:09:43,240 --> 01:09:45,080
video.
But here's the very first one.
1572
01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:48,240
It's a couple people hunting and
then a annoying.
1573
01:09:57,120 --> 01:10:00,360
So this lady is walking just to
describe for the the non
1574
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:02,200
watchers.
There's a lady walking up to a
1575
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:05,000
couple of dudes who look like
they're hunting and she's making
1576
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:07,520
a fucking noise where she sounds
almost like a bird.
1577
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:12,720
I think it's a legendary parent,
she's saying.
1578
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,880
Fuck off.
Yeah, fuck off.
1579
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:23,840
You're not welcome.
Yeah, she there it is.
1580
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:33,520
Fuck up.
Oh my God, stop.
1581
01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:38,320
Drive us crazy.
With this, it's driving me
1582
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:40,760
insane.
Oh my God I saw this video.
1583
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:43,080
Is this?
Is this edited?
1584
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:44,160
What?
Is going on with this lady.
1585
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:45,960
It just sounds like a pissed off
bird.
1586
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:49,520
Fuck off fuck off.
Is he going to do it again?
1587
01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:53,360
She grabbed a rock throwing.
Rocks in the water.
1588
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:55,280
That sounds like a gun fucking
retard.
1589
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:04,080
You.
Fuck.
1590
01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:19,480
Off you, fuck off those.
Birds.
1591
01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:34,000
Identified as Dad already.
I think I would.
1592
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:36,120
Have to save that fuck off.
Noise and we should use.
1593
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:39,200
That This is why you should
subscribe to see the video
1594
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,920
because you what?
You heard was not going to be
1595
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:44,760
equivalent to what you would
have witnessed and let me just
1596
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:48,920
say whatever you pictured her.
Looking like you are correct.
1597
01:11:49,120 --> 01:11:50,600
You are correct.
You are correct.
1598
01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:54,640
Oh fuck.
You fuck offs, you fuck.
1599
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:58,480
You fuck off.
So this next video sounds great
1600
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:00,600
you.
Guys have to tell me if you've
1601
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,440
seen this video before, OK, this
is a lady that looks like she's
1602
01:12:03,440 --> 01:12:06,400
getting possessed.
And I thought at first it was
1603
01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:08,280
fake.
But then if you watch, you start
1604
01:12:08,280 --> 01:12:10,480
to watch the video, you realize
that this is not this is not
1605
01:12:10,480 --> 01:12:12,840
somebody, this is not fake.
So here, here's here's the
1606
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:14,480
video.
Look at this lady's face.
1607
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:19,120
Clearly, we're on like a.
Subway or something.
1608
01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:22,200
A subway or something watch
happens out of nowhere.
1609
01:12:28,240 --> 01:12:30,240
What is going on with her
fucking jaw?
1610
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:31,680
Possessed?
The fuck?
1611
01:12:32,160 --> 01:12:34,040
She's going to, Oh my, breathe
here.
1612
01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:43,320
She might have Tourette's watch.
Yeah, not attacking a guy with a
1613
01:12:43,320 --> 01:12:46,720
can of Pringles, OK.
And this is what I thought.
1614
01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:48,040
That's what I realized.
It wasn't fake.
1615
01:12:48,040 --> 01:12:51,120
Because she punched that guy.
And now he has every right to
1616
01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:54,720
beat the shit out of her.
I know out of context that
1617
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:56,280
sounds wrong, but I get what
you're saying, yeah.
1618
01:12:56,920 --> 01:12:58,800
But yeah, you got to see the
video for me for what I just
1619
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:06,120
said to make sense.
Call fuck you I.
1620
01:13:06,160 --> 01:13:07,960
Mean I can't blame the guy.
Not at all.
1621
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:09,160
I'm.
Really not blaming him.
1622
01:13:09,160 --> 01:13:15,240
Yeah, she might be on some
drugs.
1623
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,680
And here come the cops to get
him, even if he didn't do
1624
01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:19,400
anything.
Wrong.
1625
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,160
That's what I don't understand.
Like it was literally.
1626
01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:27,720
That Lady attacked that guy,
they didn't see that part, which
1627
01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:29,400
pisses me.
Off because they're they're just
1628
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:31,720
immediately quick to go to the
towards the guy instead of just
1629
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:34,200
breaking them both up.
Finding out what happened.
1630
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:37,880
Her face was so fucked up.
That was that was really.
1631
01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:39,400
Fucking creepy.
Well, cops.
1632
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:41,760
In fairness, they don't have
time to figure out the
1633
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,160
situation.
Immediately, they're just trying
1634
01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:44,640
to separate it.
That's true.
1635
01:13:44,640 --> 01:13:46,720
But they did try to separate it.
They just went towards, they
1636
01:13:46,720 --> 01:13:47,640
just went just right.
To.
1637
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:49,440
Him.
So you mean that they only saw
1638
01:13:49,480 --> 01:13:51,600
one part of that?
Yeah, Yeah, if I was a cop that
1639
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:53,200
saw a guy.
Hitting a girl, I would probably
1640
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:55,640
it would probably be the same.
Way you would think the guy was
1641
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,240
just a piece of shit hitting a
woman.
1642
01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:58,960
You know what?
For no reason just tase them
1643
01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:00,680
both.
Yeah, why not?
1644
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:03,280
Fuck it.
So this next video here.
1645
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:06,320
I think she was on drugs, I
don't know.
1646
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:08,720
What the I'm not sure which
devil she had in her.
1647
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:10,280
Yeah.
She had something.
1648
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:12,240
In her, that's for sure.
It wasn't Dick she.
1649
01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:16,680
Probably needed some of that.
That would solve it all.
1650
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:20,480
Probably this next video.
A Dick in a day.
1651
01:14:20,680 --> 01:14:22,520
Keeps the keeps the possession
away.
1652
01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:26,600
This next clip has a little bit
of everything in it and.
1653
01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:32,480
The the the longer you watch,
the more what the fuck is going
1654
01:14:32,480 --> 01:14:35,040
on here.
So I present to you a little bit
1655
01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:42,600
of everything.
What the?
1656
01:14:43,800 --> 01:14:44,960
Fuck snow.
Shovel.
1657
01:14:49,640 --> 01:14:51,240
That's.
The most?
1658
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:52,840
Important thing happening right
now.
1659
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,960
He's.
Like.
1660
01:14:59,560 --> 01:15:04,560
Another shovel.
We got a.
1661
01:15:04,560 --> 01:15:05,520
Mop.
Is that a mop?
1662
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:07,840
We got a mop.
What is going on?
1663
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:11,520
Oh.
Dude took a bike to the.
1664
01:15:11,520 --> 01:15:14,440
Face.
So we just laughed with their
1665
01:15:14,440 --> 01:15:16,120
ass off.
I'm laughing.
1666
01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:20,320
Why are your titties looking
like that?
1667
01:15:23,080 --> 01:15:25,960
She's hard as can.
Be and then nipples must be cold
1668
01:15:25,960 --> 01:15:27,400
Outlook.
At everybody's kind of dressed
1669
01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:32,920
warm.
You know what I mean?
1670
01:15:32,920 --> 01:15:34,320
He's not wrong.
He's that, that's.
1671
01:15:35,760 --> 01:15:38,800
No idea why these people.
Why did that video become worse
1672
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:42,480
as it progressed?
The longer it went, the crazier
1673
01:15:42,600 --> 01:15:44,280
it was.
Just more and more shit.
1674
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:46,320
You got.
Bikes being thrown.
1675
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:48,280
Fucking shovels.
Weird.
1676
01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:54,120
Tits It was a very strange video
and because we just watched some
1677
01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:56,240
really weird shit.
I really I don't usually do this
1678
01:15:56,240 --> 01:15:58,760
with the digital dump, but this
is pretty heartwarming and I saw
1679
01:15:58,760 --> 01:16:01,000
this this actually came across
my feet on Twitter and I was
1680
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:02,120
like, Oh my God, this is super
cute.
1681
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:04,480
So I have to play this video for
you guys.
1682
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:07,760
You either appreciate or you're
not going to He's in trouble
1683
01:16:09,040 --> 01:16:10,080
too.
What did he do?
1684
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:12,040
He helped me draw on.
The Wall.
1685
01:16:15,800 --> 01:16:24,680
He picked the colors.
Oh, OK, I'm actually, I'm
1686
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:26,120
actually.
Kind of glad Jen's here.
1687
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,280
She'd be crying, right or not
here she'd be crying right now.
1688
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:31,360
What is thing in the world?
This kid, for those people like
1689
01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,320
this kid.
Is put himself up against the
1690
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:35,720
wall or is in time out.
The dog is literally standing
1691
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:37,840
right next to him with his face
up against the wall and they're
1692
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:41,440
both not moving a muscle.
So freaking like that, doesn't
1693
01:16:41,440 --> 01:16:42,440
it?
Make you miss your.
1694
01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:44,160
Child when they were super
young.
1695
01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:46,840
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, it does kind of like bring
1696
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:48,880
you back it.
Does he didn't think about me
1697
01:16:48,880 --> 01:16:50,080
and my.
Daughter's a teenager and she
1698
01:16:50,120 --> 01:16:51,000
hates me.
I.
1699
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,800
Know they hate you.
It's like they're done.
1700
01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:54,400
Like we don't have those years
to go back.
1701
01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:56,720
If we did, oh don't worry when
they get older they will want to
1702
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:00,280
come back and and be your best.
Friend I know, but I wish I
1703
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:02,520
could go back and just spend
more time and.
1704
01:17:02,520 --> 01:17:04,960
Appreciate the moment, but you
know, you're growing up when
1705
01:17:04,960 --> 01:17:07,080
they're growing up.
It's it's it's weird.
1706
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:09,920
It is.
Yeah.
1707
01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:11,200
So that was the Super.
Cute video.
1708
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:14,040
I wanted to wrap up digital dump
with something kind of just and
1709
01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:16,200
the show and the show actually,
as a matter of fact, it's a
1710
01:17:16,200 --> 01:17:18,720
perfect way to end the show.
Well, adorable video of a little
1711
01:17:18,720 --> 01:17:21,320
kid and A and a dog.
So if you want to see that, then
1712
01:17:21,320 --> 01:17:23,800
you should go subscribe on
Spotify and or Patreon and
1713
01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:26,240
support the show.
Don't forget to grab our shirt
1714
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:27,880
of the month.
Right now is on sale at not
1715
01:17:27,880 --> 01:17:30,000
tds.com.
Just go ahead and grab jump into
1716
01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:32,280
the the store, the damn store
over there and there's a bunch
1717
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:33,080
of cools.
You can get our hat.
1718
01:17:33,080 --> 01:17:35,240
You can get, you know, there's
all kinds of good stuff that
1719
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,280
we're selling, hoodies,
teachers, all kinds of shit.
1720
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:41,760
I was going to say like since
I've gotten this NTDS hat.
1721
01:17:42,200 --> 01:17:46,760
I I'm at least 35% sexier.
That's absolutely, absolutely.
1722
01:17:47,040 --> 01:17:48,440
Oh yeah, if you're not getting
laid in your.
1723
01:17:48,440 --> 01:17:51,280
NTDS hat you're doing something
wrong and how it gives you sex
1724
01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:54,080
like and I know the last two
shows were full of testosterone
1725
01:17:54,080 --> 01:17:55,800
but.
Jen will be back with us.
1726
01:17:55,920 --> 01:18:00,200
Well, I I was like I was.
Doing like me and me and.
1727
01:18:00,200 --> 01:18:02,000
My girlfriend.
Were doing stuff and she's like
1728
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:05,920
put the hat on.
Makes sense here.
1729
01:18:06,080 --> 01:18:06,920
The hat.
Makes sense here.
1730
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,560
She wanted you to.
Wear it while you were banging.
1731
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:11,720
I mean no one blames her.
Look at.
1732
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:14,240
Look how good I look.
Doesn't that doesn't have our
1733
01:18:14,240 --> 01:18:16,000
names on it?
No, it doesn't say.
1734
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:19,760
Oh, OK, we should get a we
should we should actually have a
1735
01:18:19,760 --> 01:18:24,200
a hat that says like it has like
stroke, muggy and Jen on it.
1736
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,800
Well, there are a few hats out
there that we signed personally
1737
01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:29,240
and those people are probably.
Fucking like rabbits that just
1738
01:18:29,240 --> 01:18:32,400
got out of prison for sure.
They're getting all the ass.
1739
01:18:33,760 --> 01:18:38,080
With our signatures on it Yeah,
All right, all right, let's wrap
1740
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:39,400
the show up anyway so we.
Support the show.
1741
01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:41,720
Guys, go subscribe on Spotify or
on Patreon.
1742
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:44,760
Make sure you buy a shirt and
follow us all on all the social
1743
01:18:44,760 --> 01:18:45,640
platforms.
It is.
1744
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:48,240
It is as stupid as that sounds
when we say things like make
1745
01:18:48,240 --> 01:18:51,120
sure you like, follow,
subscribe, It may not seem like
1746
01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:53,280
that means everything.
It actually makes a huge
1747
01:18:53,280 --> 01:18:55,920
difference in what we do.
So we appreciate it.
1748
01:18:55,920 --> 01:18:57,480
And based on, I guess that's
pretty much it.
1749
01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:58,320
I'm done.
Yeah.
1750
01:18:58,320 --> 01:19:00,680
And if you see Rob out, do not
buy him a shot.
1751
01:19:02,680 --> 01:19:04,720
All right, for anything, get him
a, get him a glass of water.
1752
01:19:06,240 --> 01:19:07,880
Maybe give him a loan.
His house is about this in
1753
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:15,040
fucking pre foreclosure.
All right, this is the why
1754
01:19:15,040 --> 01:19:16,920
Reddit hates.
Us is exactly why I hate us,
1755
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:20,720
hey.
This was really fun, we hope you
1756
01:19:20,760 --> 01:19:22,360
liked it too.
You know, we've had a lot of
1757
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:25,120
laughs tonight.
Seems like we've just begun when
1758
01:19:25,120 --> 01:19:28,480
suddenly we're through.
But I'll tell you what's not
1759
01:19:28,480 --> 01:19:29,160
funny.
Bye.
1760
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:33,920
Goodbye good friends, goodbye
killing strippers 'cause now
1761
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:38,480
it's time to go.
Strippers are people too, naked
1762
01:19:38,480 --> 01:19:40,720
people who may be willing to
pleasure you for a price You
1763
01:19:40,720 --> 01:19:42,760
negotiate later.
Behind the curtain in the VIP
1764
01:19:42,800 --> 01:19:45,600
room.
We'll see you very soon on
1765
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:46,360
Meshai.
Just no.
1766
01:19:46,360 --> 01:19:48,440
Need to kill him very soon, I
know 'cause.
1767
01:19:48,440 --> 01:19:50,320
Most of them are.
Already dead inside.
1768
01:19:50,480 --> 01:19:52,000
Goodbye.
Thank you everyone.
1769
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:54,000
Bye good friends.
Goodbye.





