The Gang Brings Back Arnie States | Ep 66

0:01 Yo, turn it up. Click the volume to 10. Guess what's for the crew who won't bow again? The hosts are united, ready to go. They tried to kill it, but we're not that damn show. Fuck you back louder than you'll know. Corporate radio can kick our ass trying to make us bold, but we're not that damn show. Still wrong. Cut in bold, cut. Fuck you. Welcome to America's loudest podcast.

0:43 We are not that damn show. What's funny? What's so funny? There, there was a, there was an image in the intro that I, that I, I, I just now realized it's got 2 ends face over that other chick, but it's signing P Lara like Jen's signing Lara's autograph. I just noticed that. I got to make a new one at some point, but we got to do more events together. Yeah, we need more pictures and more videos and stuff of us doing shit. Yeah, obviously 2 N is not here again. She is. I think she's on a sex cruise, like an emo sex cruise with with the lunch lady and a bunch of other fucking sex degenerates. So maybe she'll be back next week. I don't know. We'll find out.

1:23 See what. Happens. She's not gone. She's just not here. If she's on that kind of trip, she may just call in and go. I can't make it. I'm sore. Why? No shit, actually, if that's. Fucking all week. Just emo sex, what's that like? It's very sad. You just listen to like the. Use My Chemical Romance in the background. Black. Parade. I mean, that really doesn't sound that bad honestly. It's a good. Music. Yeah, you just throw on Black Parade, let it play, and then just fuck. I know, but I had a couple of the songs, I guess on that album are pretty, pretty upbeat. That could be kind of fun, but there's some. I think there's one, I mean, Black Parade starts out slow and I think there's only one other one that is slow.

2:05 So that's ease. Into it. Yeah, you could. You could get some fucking it out of that. All right, we are about just remind everybody we're available on Spotify for video. If you're listening on whatever platform you're listening on, that's fine. We appreciate you listening. But if you want to check the video out at a cheaper rate, you can get just the video access on Spotify right now. You can go subscribe. It is available for you and it's not. I didn't put any of the past videos up there. So they got to let the videos are going to build up. This just started last week, so if you're going to looking for past episodes, you need to go join Patreon for that. Also, this is the last week for the Dirt Squirrel shirt. A couple of people, actually more than a couple of people, pretty good amount of people have bought the dirt Squirrel shirt, which is our monthly shirt. We're doing this every month this year and we have another shirt that's going to come out next week. Think along the lines of butt sex and Valentine's Day. I I.

2:54 Don't want Jesus Christ? Beautiful. Yeah, it's it's beautiful. It's exactly it fucking for, you know, for February. You got it was either that or black history. I didn't. I didn't know what you. Do like made your decision on what marches will be, but that is, you know, the 14th is steak and blowjob day. That's that's. My birthday? Yeah, that's my birthday. Never forget that holiday. Maybe we should put stroke on a shirt and and do the snow. Don't be near the. Blowjob No no. No, looks like I'm giving the blowjabs. No, the Mandy's for stake. The. Mandy's for stake. I got to tell you guys I've I've been so I had to walk out to my truck and the weather's you know, the weather across the country right now is kind of crazy.

3:37 Most of the country with, with, you know, winter, we have a like a big storm coming through, but no snow here in North Florida. But I, I walked through and I watched it. There's this guy and he's under a carport and I'm like, what? OK, this guy's there. So I've done like 30 minutes worth of stuff. I look, I can't debate if he just didn't want to go inside to his wife or he was like, fuck, I got to bring these grocers in. But he's finally made the move. He's just standing there for 30 minutes. It's. Just, well, he was just sitting in the car. I know I just happened to notice where he was at but I'm like. Questioning his life. Yeah, I don't know if he's like, I don't want to take these fucking groceries in or I don't want to go see my wife, but I just watched this guy debated for 30 minutes. Maybe he's listening to our podcast and he's like, I don't want to go in yet. This is so good.

4:19 We'll go listening. We'll go with that. And he looked. Like the ice cream's going to melt, but that bitch is in there. Maybe that was it because he walked when he got out of the car his his head was all down. He looked very depressed. He was The show was over. I knew what he was going into. Oh. Yeah, well, I went. Out for that guy. Yeah, for sure. Paul went out for that dude. And again, listen to us on all the platforms and I let's see. I wanted to make sure I hit all the things. We do have a special guest coming on the show today. He's going to join us in a little bit. Arnie states going to join us. He's got an event happening here in Sacramento, so we'll talk about that. We'll catch up with him and see what's going on in his world and he'll hang for a little bit and maybe do. A10 I think it's been a while.

5:01 Yeah, he hasn't been on in a while. Actually, I, I jumped on his podcast maybe a couple of weeks ago. See Arnie State show. For those of you who don't know, Arnie's got a really good podcast. It's pretty political, but it's fun and it's Arnie, It's hilarious. And again, he'll be out here, he's going to do some stand up comedy that'll happen in May, but we'll talk to him about that. Yeah, it's good. It's going to be cool. I'm pretty excited to, I'm kind of a part of that, trying to help him get that going. So that'll be pretty cool. Dude, you guys, we got a bunch of comments from last week and I did something new. So if you're if you're watching the show, whether it's Patreon or Spotify, you're going to be able to have a little bit of a visual to the comments now, because I spent a little time and made this little thing so we can read the comments on the on the screen together. And it's a little bit more.

5:43 It's just not listening to my voice. So we'll start off with this very first comment. It says thank you guy that commented about cow pie bingo in Murphy's California. Now I know what I'm going to do on my birthday weekend. I don't. Really. Remember. I guess. I guess we've been talking about chicken Bing, chicken ship bingo and cow pie bingo and stuff like that. So cow pie bingo happens in Murphy's, California. Where the hell is that at? I don't even know. Dude, I went there one time with Mandy and I went there. I guess maybe her mom used to live in that area and there's like these caverns that are up there. It's really cool. We went down those caverns, but that's all I know. It's pretty far away. OK, but anyway, so cow piping go next one here. All this is actually speaking to Mandy NTSHR. She says you could do not that damn Lube and then the three different not that damn dildos shaped after each one of us. So basically she's saying that we should all put our Dicks in the cast of the the casing thing and it shapes your Dick and then which would sell our dildos.

6:43 Yeah, I'm the don't think that would fly. I don't. Think that would fly either and I'm really surprised that my wife said to do this and I brought that up and I was like you be OK with with we've been wanting to buy my I was. About to say yeah, there's that. Also, I don't want to make you guys feel bad. I also have that to her too. Oh, I'm going to bar somebody's Dick. Come on, get. Me make a reminder. But that's another thing like I, I don't think like like that, that that's surprising that your wife suggested that. I'm like, why? I don't think my girlfriend would let me do that. I think you, I don't want you. I don't want your Dick fucking anybody. This sounds like a setup to see what we would say. Mandy, you did not get us. I'm not doing it. I'm not putting my penis in there. And, and unless it's for her, I would do that for her. You know, if I'm not going to be around, yeah, unless the handling or whatever, I get it.

7:27 But she also recommended doing a flashlight for Jen. Oh yeah, she'd that's that would again, that would fly just. Don't know how lunge lady would feel about something like that. I know I would feel if it was my like I'm oh fuck no. I mean, if you're, if you're not in that industry, whether it's only fans or whatever, then no. If you're dating an only fans model or a porn star, I guess it makes sense, right? This is another. I mean other people are already fucking her so it doesn't matter. Pretty. Much. I'd be weird. Hey, how big's your Dick? I need this for this job. I gave you 20 bucks. Yeah. You're going to pay somebody. Hey, look, don't tell anybody. Just going to pretend that it's mine. Oh God, I I saw something funny there today. I guess a weather girl somewhere in the country was talking about.

8:12 She asked people on Facebook to send in their measurements. She got back on TV and says I don't want your body measurement. I was talking about the snow. Dig sizes. Hey, that's what you get for not being clear. You got to be specific, especially if you're an attractive lady, you know what I mean? You can throw, and even if you're not, it doesn't matter. You're just a woman. Dudes are going to throw all kinds of weird things. Out. Not even attractive, just just a woman. I just thought it was funny. She addressed it in in a professional on the news, not your body measurements. That's pretty funny. Justicle says Jen is gone one day and you guys were already talking about sucking Dick. Yeah, that did happen. I don't know if you guys really realize that. To be fair, we were doing that before she got here.

8:52 True. We're talking about how we would be good at it, I think. I don't know how we got into that. That's exactly what it was. That's exactly what it was and even Jen brought it up and said boys first time I'm gone. You're already talking about sucking Dick. Hashtag fake and gay. I don't know. I don't. I don't think I'd be very good at it. I think no. I'd be terrible. I think we've already decided that we'd all be pretty bad at that. Well, not it's like 'cause and I and I wouldn't even give it like my all. I would just act like a lot of females like I'm just doing this cause of the money. Yeah, we were just like, like it's yeah, I'm not going to put my. Back into it. Yeah, just just getting it done to get it done and get the money.

9:32 That's it. Next one here. Oh, these are all. This is from Danny, Jess, Keisha and Cole. Ian, these are suggestions for Craigslist. Oh, OK. Chico, CA Denver for Craigslist, Eugene, OR, which probably would be pretty interesting, and then San Diego. Now and I saw these and I was like how should I do this? Should I do like 1 post from each city or one city per Craigslist? I don't know. I think you, well, whatever, it's your bit, so you can however you want to do. But I think maybe you did just all Chico one time and then just all San Diego. Because I feel like I feel like there's plenty of freaks in each one of these cities that it would take the whole segment.

10:14 Yeah. And then the the list is just going to back up and yeah. But that's good. Then you never run out of time. You never run out of places. Yeah, I'll think about. I'll think about it. I. Don't know who'd be the freakiest town. I mean the off population wise the more likely to say think crazy shit would be San Diego out of those. No. Denver might be bigger, I'm not sure. I did Atlanta one time. There were some weirdos. Yeah, I feel like Eugene OR is going to be pretty dirty. It's like just kind of dirty hippies up there and probably not, you know, they're not very clean. Dirty hippies. I don't know. I don't spend a whole lot of time in Eugene XI, don't know if I've ever even been there. Nobody does.

10:57 But San Diego though, you might get all you might get a bunch of like rich Milfs and shit that are like look at the the horned up going to cheat on their husbands or whatever. Business husband is out on business all the time and she's just looking for some nasty shit. Or military. Military towns are probably pretty dirty too. You know the Craigslist section. But people love Craigslist, so that's a good bit. Y'all are some freaks. I don't get it. From Jess here it says I asked my boyfriend if he's heard of the term mouse jumping on a trampoline. He said no and I told him what it was. He then said he has done it but calls it the batwing, which also makes sense if you think about. It well you you stretch your balls out like the batwing, but you don't do the batwing, you don't bounce your non erect penis on it.

11:42 It makes way more sense to to to call it the trampoline. But maybe it's a bat. Maybe it's the Batwing trampoline. OK. That's I don't like that. It's not You don't like it, Then what? No. I think mouse on a trampoline, not batwing on a trampoline. That's too much. Yeah, I guess maybe that's that's kind of hard to say, but. Anyway, I wonder why? So we know we know that Jen's listening because she commented back. Did Kyle do it after he heard us talking about it? He's like babe, I heard they were talking on the podcast. Well, she's on this emo sex cruise. Maybe they're doing it this whole week. They're. Probably all doing it on this but. Everybody just a bunch of emo people bouncing their penises on their balls and ladies are just standing around watching.

12:23 I think that's just how you say hello on a sex cruise. You just walk around and just. Yeah, I don't want to go on that boat. Definitely not. I'm good. I am. That is not my my type of bus. I had somebody one time, he was, it was years ago. He's like, man, you know, they got the singles cruise, we can go and meet women. I go, you know, it's going to be done. But a bunch of fucking dudes. I'm not going on that or ugly. Oh yeah, you're probably right. It's probably old guys. A lot of old guys are really unattractive people. Yeah, speedos walking around. Yeah, anyway, Rodster here wrote quite a comment, he said, Speaking of copper theft. Kid Rock is the official soundtrack of copper theft. His his song bang with the bang orangutan titties came on and an electric sawzall appeared right in my front seat like a white trash Excalibur. He says his music is for people who know exactly the legal amount of Sudafed to buy at Walgreens and then and they said Ian you should do Milwaukee or Green Bay for Craigslist also says keep up the great work Milwaukee or Green Bay Milwaukee as they.

13:27 Say which is Algonquin for the good land? Exactly. Wasn't one of our bosses from Milwaukee? Wasn't Joe Zoom boss? He's in Texas now, but I think he's from Milwaukee. Yeah, I don't know. But I do love the Kid Rock makes music for the I love those. I don't know. He's like, he, he read every Kid Rock meme and put it in here. Those those, it's pretty funny. Basically it's like, yeah, he he, he makes music for dudes who cheat at bass tournaments. Those memes are pretty fucking funny. I like Kid Rock though. I do too. I'm like, I don't hate Kid Rock. I mean, you know, of course there's certain songs you don't like as much as others, but you know. What it is I like?

14:12 I like his attitude. I hate his country music. I like his rock music there. I like, I did like it's like he he pulled a reverse Taylor Swift almost. And like Taylor Swift was better when she did country, Kid Rock was better when he did rock. Taylor Swift was better when she did country. Is that what you just said? I believe so. I. Don't think so. I liked his Kid Rock's Nashville bar. I went in there and that was kind of neat. Is that still open? I've never been there. Well, he's opening a bar down here. He is. Oh shit, is he? He's yeah, he's well, He's opening a Tootsie's here in Panama City. What? The fuck is Tootsie's a? Little redneck bar. He doesn't own that. He's he is financially invested in it.

14:55 Sorry, is. That like a chain. Yeah, there's one in Nashville. I don't think there's many, but yeah, I know what you're telling. Yeah, they're building it where like one of the Super clubs were at one point, things like 3 stories right on the beach. She's perfect for the Redneck Riviera where we live. Basically. Redneck Riviera got to write a song about that. Is there a song called the Redneck Riviera? There's got to be. I don't know. There's enough. There's enough damn songs to talk about Panama City and country, but I don't know about most. Of them are Luke Bryan's. There's a lot I hear a lot more than Luke Bryan, but yeah, he has a lot of them too, which his mom lives here. She does. Have you guys ever ran into him? Actually, yes. Oh, have you ever ran out of Dave and Buster's?

15:35 Yeah, he at the Oyster Bar down the street. I have an autographed CD somewhere because. Weird. I never listened to the God damn thing, but I mean it's Luke Bryan. You're going to get a signed CDI guess. Is he just always drunk? I feel like he's just always drunk. Not no, not really. He just, he just likes it here. Nice, he seems like a fun kind of party with Anna. Has a question for you Ian. How does a karaoke DJ update his music system at Players? Phil said he has most updated years since he has his 2020. That's a little behind there, Phil. Yeah, it kind of is. It really depends on how you you do it. Like me, I, I, I've got some songs from other peers in the business.

16:19 I buy some like depending on if I don't have it and they're like give me $3, I'll buy it. You can sing it here all you fucking want to. It really just depends. Some some systems come pre loaded like if you want to pay for a subscription to certain hosting software. So it really just depends. I don't know what Phil's got going on down there. I don't. I don't pretend to know how his system works. So that's where you go. Yeah, I know. They came down here one time and busted a lot of people who wouldn't license like buying the license. Program. Yeah, the you have to. Do that you have to be the. DJ, the DJ that taught me everything. I know he passed away but he got fined like 20 grand maybe 15 years ago and that wasn't fun for anybody because he was a Moody motherfucker for like a month and 1/2. What was he like bootlegging it?

17:06 Yeah, and you can't do that. But he learned his lesson. And there's a lot of people out here that there was one guy that was working before me and we have a giant projector screen and and he was showing him dragging YouTube windows. And I'm like, dude, that's the most unprofessional fucking thing I've ever seen and it's illegal as fuck. Yeah, the, the Christina at her house, she's got a karaoke machine. We go to YouTube. That's how we do it. If we have like we did that Friday night. Yeah, like. Paying to be there or you're not paying me because it but those because people will ask me all the time if I don't have a song and they want to pay for it. Well, can you go on YouTube?

17:47 Do you have $20,000 if I get caught? Because no, I'm being paid to be here, which means legally I'm, I'm only allowed to use what I, I can't. I don't even think I'm legally allowed to play off of Spotify and. Probably not. Now, like the music that I play in between songs, I can't just go on Spotify and play that. The stroke did I see a video of you like shaking your your junk in somebody's face singing karaoke the other day I. Think that was his sister-in-law. Oh, I wasn't shaking my junk. I was just singing behind her. Oh, you're right. You really weren't shaking your junk. My bad. You were just standing behind her, kind of doing I. Didn't know where this video came from. Like there's a possibility in my life that this has happened, but recently, no.

18:33 All right. So, well anyway, I hope you, I don't know if Ian gave you the answer you were looking for, but there you go. I know more about karaoke than I ever wanted to know. Can I just be honest? He keeps me updated with every damn thing. I would just learn so much. People are stupid. We learned that too. People are stupid. People are pretty. Stoned get me started. Nico commented 2 comments and this is Jen's only hater by the way and I'm trying to figure out if maybe if if maybe Nico was the kid didn't we have? Isn't that kid that listens to our show named Nico? I thought it was Kenobi. Oh, it's Kenobi. Wow, you're right. I'm sorry, my name's all mixed up. But anyway, Nico, Jen's only hater, says on Tuesday's show. Great show. These all capital letters by the way, for those of you just listening.

19:14 Great show today, best show in months. Then on Thursday, another great episode. 2 perfect episodes in a row. It can't get any better than this. Clearly talking shit about Jen. What, Jen? It is funny though. It's, I thought it was fucking hilarious. It made me laugh. Look, Nico, everybody likes Jen, dude, We, we need her here because if we don't, we end up talking about sucking Dick all day. And that's I. Don't want to do that again. It's. Super gay, you know what I mean? It's really gay. And then finally, last comments from Mandy, it says, I feel like these episodes prove how important Jen is to to the show that definitely she definitely round you guys out. I don't. I feel like having a woman on the show is kind of a good thing. Exactly.

19:58 We're out of control. We get a little out of control without Jen, that is for sure. All right, so before what already comes on there was, well, he'll be here in a little bit. I got to tell you guys that I threw this out there to you guys, that this idea I had called, swear to God, and I want to tell you where this came from and if you guys have a story, great. I hope that you do. But I swear to God this happened to me and that's what this whole premise is. It's something crazy that happened to to you at any point your life could have been last week, could have been a month ago, whatever, just a story. Like I swear to God, this happened. So where this started from as I was at Walmart, which is probably the worst place to possibly be. That's where I made my first mistake. You know, you at Walmart, everything sort of feels a little off, You know, like you buy a box of Cheezits and all of them are broken or like the shirt that you bought is like it's a Reebok shirt, but it still fits a little weird or something.

20:53 Just everything feels like almost like the retarded version of the actual thing from Walmart. I don't know why, I don't know why, it doesn't matter why. I'm just saying that every time I go there. So I try to avoid that. But anyway, my wife and I go there, We're walking down one of these aisles and there's like a middle-aged. When I say middle-aged, probably my age, Asian couple that goes right past us. They they go kind of fast actually past us, but fine, whatever, no big deal. I just remember thinking that they were really small and I was like, I was like, fuck these at least people would have really small kids. And, and this was all within the matter of just a, you know, walking past them down this aisle, Sure enough, couple people up, you get further down the aisle. There is an Asian kid right there in the aisle.

21:35 And this is a very packed aisle. I have to, I'm really want to paint this picture so people understand it's Walmart, it's busy. It's the middle of the day. You know what I'm saying? It's a it's, it's a busy fucking day. And we're walking down. There's a small little Asian child in the middle of the aisle. And I got to tell you guys, this was, it almost felt like as if these parents were running away from this kid and like they were leaving it there. And I, and I kind of understood they were leaving the child there. And as as I got closer, I started to realize this little kid has a plastic bag on her head, a not not a Walmart plastic bag, a produce plastic bag pulled all the way down tight around her head and she is literally trying to RIP a fucking hole in it so that she can breathe. This is happening in the the aisle at Walmart. And I was like, what the my wife looked back at me. She's like, is this, is this really fucking happening? And I'm like, I, I don't know, is this real life? I felt like it was a fucking glitch in the matrix or some shit.

22:34 This kid has a bag on her head. She's practically dying. And I had sort of a a moment with myself. There almost was like, should I help her? Should I take this bag off her fucking head and be like, I keep like, that's something you learn is you don't do that. You don't put bags on your head. But I didn't, I just said, fuck it. If she dies, she dies. It's not my problem. It's not my kid but but anyway I just could not to me. Died and I'd have been like Mikey you son of a bitch. It's not my problem, it's not my kid, but she put a bag on her head and it was happening inside Walmart and I've never seen anything like that. And I just got, I swear to God, that fucking happened. I swear to God. I know it's like what the fuck, whatever, but man, to me that was a crazy ass fucking story.

23:17 Yeah. Well. Like, yeah, I mean, shit, that's. I mean I would have guessed Walmart if you said guess the store. I should have probably put, I probably should have said I'm not going to tell you where it happened. I'm going to tell you the story about guess the store is what I should have said. Damn. I swear to God this weekend I was accused of being a bigot. I thought you were. Nope. I'm just kidding. How does this happen? Because I refused to let this lesbian bitch sing because I have a she, she came in about maybe 9-10 months ago and she sang a song. She paid me $10 to sing it. And then when it was over, she sang the whole song. By the way, she said I didn't like that version of the song that you had, so I want my $10 back. So I gave it back to her and I told the bartender, I'm like, we have a, we have the same rule.

24:13 Don't fuck with the money. So she took her tip back. So she's not. She's never allowed to sing here again. She can come in and drink all she wants to, but I'm never letting her sing again. For taking back her tip. She came back. Fuck, would you give it back to her? Because I didn't, I just wanted her to fucking leave. She was being a cunt. And I'm like, you know, and I'm and I, I'm like, if you take this money away from me, you're never singing here again. So I look that that was on her. So she came in this weekend. Apparently she did not know that she wasn't allowed. She's like, hey, can I sing this? And I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't let you sing because of this. I reminded her what she did and she went around telling her friend because she has a lesbian bowl cut, by the way, and she's kind of chunky.

24:58 And she goes around telling her friends that he's, I'm not letting her sing because she's gay. I'm like, bitch, I got gay people in here singing about sucking Dick all the time. You think I give a fuck? I don't give a shit. We matter of fact, we this, this is one of the most gay friendly bars in this God damn town besides the gay bar down the street. I think that's I think we get a lot of overflow from them. But yeah, she was telling people that I'm a bigot for not letting her sing like I give a fuck. You should have said I had a complaint last time you were singing. The microphone just smelled like this nasty pussy. I guess you would ate it before you got here. I wouldn't give a fucking money back. I gotta be like, get out of here, fuck you.

25:38 Well, like I said, I left, I left it up to them. If you want your money back, that's fine, but be content with the fact you're never singing here again. So it's really on them and like I'm I'm going to miss that $10.00, but still it was the principle of the fact. That $10, yeah. You sang the whole fucking song. If you don't like the way it sounds, tell me right as it starts. Like is there another version that if I have it I don't, Great. If not then pick something else. You don't sing the whole fucking song. It's like. Eating a whole steak and then complaining about it afterwards. My thing is karaoke people take their shit way too. Seriously. Sometimes it's like, dude, this is not your big break. This is not like you're not they're not going to you're not going to get discovered in this bar tonight. Just sing the fucking song and move on with your life. It's I mean, I appreciate it.

26:20 Get up there, have a great time. It's I guess, but. I I enjoy when people are great singers, and I enjoy even more when people are average but they're having a blast. Yes, it's a good time. Don't take yeah. I like this. I get up there and I get up there and give a show. I'm not good. I didn't get a show, but I'd do it. But you're. Having a good time, but you're having a good time and you're not going to get Mark a phone to come down. Yeah, People come up like, whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I, I haven't really had anything crazy happen recently. I don't know why. I guess life's been kind of boring, which is OK. I can't. I was thinking on this one like nothing's really shockingly happened other than the fact I was telling the story recently about the time, and this goes back a few years. Well, it goes back a little ways, but we were at a, we were out at what they call Pier Park here. And this, these, this group of, I don't know, these kids, they weren't kids.

27:08 They were, I shouldn't say kids at all. They were adults. They were out. I guess they were out partying too, but they come by and they started screaming, you know, just being drunk idiots. And then I said fuck you. They got out of their car and for some reason I decided to pull my pants down. Everything's out. And I ran to Origin. I ran to, I ran to. I could be able to listen now with actually this story, but I ran to Origin. I've never seen three motherfuckers get back in their car so damn quick. They were scared of how little it was. It's like God. Well, nobody was gonna fight a dude with his Dick out, you know what I mean? Like especially if he's bouncing it off of his testicles. I. Wasn't bouncing it, I just. That's what you fucked up. Yeah, I should have bounced it and ran into Origin, but they got the hell out of there so well. That's like patting your head and rubbing your stomach.

27:49 Can you run and mouse on a trampoline at the same time? Yeah, I just recently come up to conversation because my buddy, he was there that night and he's like, remember that time? I go, yeah, I remember that time because sometimes I'm well. That time you're in things real quick. Just take a panel. I was. Like we didn't have to get in a fight that night. 3 dudes just took off. Pull your Dick out, fight people, they'll usually leave. Yeah, if someone starting shit, just pull your Dick out, that's it. Because you look like you're crazy. Like I will bite you. Yeah, but if you start bouncing it on your ball sack and you look even crazier. Yes. Well, I didn't think of that at the time. But it's also impressive, like, wow, he can, he can run and bounce his little Dick off his test at the same time. That's coordination. He's done this before. I should run.

28:31 That's all I come up with. Everything has been pretty normal the last couple months, so nothing was not that I've witnessed yet, but give it time that the weather is going to get warm. It's Florida. I'll have something soon. That's The thing is the weather starts to warm up, then weird shit really starts to happen. People start. People go outside and weird shit happens outside. That's why I stay inside. Yeah, weird shit does happen outside. Well, it happens pretty much everywhere. We don't since we don't know what the I'm sure Jen will come back with some really good stuff. I swear to God stories that this this happened to me and on her little e-mail sex crew. So we'll find out more about that. I'm so pornography like pornographic. Honestly I think if you type that into Pornhub you'd probably get something good.

29:14 You get a bunch of dudes and a woman, probably on a in a broom. Yeah, I guess you're probably right, but I don't think it would be that great, but. Yeah, we're not seeing Jen's doing that. I'm saying that's what we probably find on Pornhub. Emo car sex, emo beach porn sexy emo rides no cruise. Sexy emo rides? Yeah. I don't know what that means. What does that even mean? I got to get out of here. Yeah, like don't get distracted. We got to show to. Do I? Was going to say yeah because you know me and emo and goth chicks. Yeah, well, let's let's just move on and, and, and welcome our guest today, Arnie states. Welcome to the show, my Frankie. What's going on? How are you?

29:55 Good. How are you? I'm good dude. Stroke. I'm digging those Versace glasses. Thank you. Those are those are sharp, my friend. Ian, nice to see you my friend. What's up, man? How are you buddy? No complaints, just getting ready for this winter storm. Oh. We we've had it. Snowmageddon is happening here in the Metroplex, my friends. I was going to ask you dude. So you're, you're where, where were you located at basically in Dallas area, right? Yeah, yeah, we're right outside Dallas. We're in Rockwall and and all the media, they were saying 8 inches of snow by Sunday. My God, the stores, store shelves have been cleaned out completely panic buying. Oh, we've gotten like 2 inches of snow it it rained on Friday all day and then that turned into sleep and that turned into ice. And people in the South can't drive in the ice. We never have been able to and never will. And it's been held.

30:52 So I haven't left the house. I've been inside since Friday. And that's what you do. Yeah. Well, we've got a last year, Yeah, we got a yeah, we got sorted in last year, which is crazy in North Florida, but we got a, we got a pretty big storm coming through, but no snow, no snow, but it's going to get into 20s and 30s and that's not cool. Yeah, we got Tornado watches and warnings and everything else. Yeah, this of. Course. They were saying it was going to get down to like -7 here, and I think the lowest is going to be is 12, which is cold. Don't get me wrong, that's fucking cold, but ain't -7 for God's sake, It's not like we live in North Dakota. Wind chill though might be kind of negative something. Yeah, well, Wednesday is supposed to be 60, so we'll we'll be back to find my life by then.

31:36 Yeah, it's crazy how it works. So stupid. So Arnie states you got before we get into really anything and hanging out and put BS and him getting caught up, I want to just get this out of the way and and throw this up on the screen. You've got a show coming up at the Boardwalk. Yeah. It's a night of comedy with Arnie States. It's happening May 23rd. Tickets are on sale at rocktheboardwalk.com. I'm very excited about this dude. I'll tell us a little bit about the show. I'm so pumped. I wrote this show probably 6 months ago because one day and you, you, you do stand up. So you know how this is when it hits you one day and you just start writing? You just write. You just shit and genius. Yeah, and, and I, I was completely shit and genius. Like, like, like, like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give a little taste, little taste.

32:22 I talked about the sex life of the Saint Jude kid. You know, he, oh, it's just questions. It's questions, though. I mean, I mean, it look, hey, the kids in college now, he made it good for him. I mean, you know, one of the questions I have is, you know, like Derek Jeter used to give like an autographed baseball, the chicks that he would nail. So does this kid give a blanket to the chicks? I didn't know he did that. Well, I don't know if he does or not. I mean that that's the question I have, man. Like he, yeah, they said he would, he would hook up with women and give them like a goat to go package. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I mean, if the Saint Jude kid is, you know, knocking down ass left and right at college because he's in college, fuck yeah, he should be giving out thin blankets. You know, he's got a lifetime supply of those, man. Oh, man.

33:14 Yeah. So I, I, my mind works in very, very strange ways. And, and when I was sitting here writing this, I was like, oh, shit, that might be too far. And I was like, no, I'll go ahead and write it. I'll go ahead and write. I mean, the the pros and cons of being reincarnated as a dog or somebody who's retarded that that could be in there. I mean, you know, just saying, just saying. I am looking forward to this show. Oh yeah, it would. Be fucking great. Yeah. Holy shit, that's going to be funny as hell. Yeah. So that's happening May 23rd. That's a Memorial Day weekend. So if they're all a Reno people that are listening right now, you got to get your asses down and come on down and hang out. It'll be good weather, hopefully the the pass will be there. And I'm just letting you know this is breaking on your show right now.

34:00 I am going to film it and I'm going to put it up on my only fans. So if I have like, if I have like somebody who's like you guys in Florida that that can't make the show, they can watch the show for a nominal fee, of course, but I'm not naked. That that's the one caveat. I'm not naked. Well, I'm there with that, Yeah. Then I'd have to see you naked in real life. Yeah, I wanted. To do stand up naked, that would be fun. Well, I I've done it in a mesh overall, I've done it in mesh overalls. That's about the closest I've ever been and and I still have the mesh overalls and yes, they still fit. You can. I've always wanted to do like I don't. I don't know if I would be naked, but I knew a couple people that worked at the, the, the, the nude resort outside of Sacramento.

34:44 And they have, they have their own little club there that they have karaoke and all that. And I was like, I would, what would it be like to do? Stand up in front of a bunch of naked people. Wait, was it nude karaoke? I mean, but, but you got to remember that, that those places are frequented by people that look like me. It it ain't, you know it, it ain't going to be a bunch of hot chicks, ain't going to be a bunch of, you know, Ken models there. They're going to be a bunch of fat dudes with tiny wieners that are looking for hot chicks. That's it. That is it. I mean, that's pretty much what I figured. That's what he has been to the one in Sacramento a few times, so he knows what it's like. Yeah. It's weird, he's an explorer. Yeah.

35:25 I'm I'm more of an observer of the human condition. Attaboy, That's what I like to hear. There you go. And you always have to do it for the story. You have to do it for the story. A friend of mine, he's got a video and he was telling people one night and they were saying you're lying. And he showed the video. They had a rental car and a rental car of a an Astro van. And they snuck onto the Kentucky Motor Speedway under construction, and they did an entire lap in an Astro van. I mean, because you have to do it for the story. I mean, you know you. Do it for the gram Crazy. Yeah, Oh yeah, the gram. Do it for the gram. I don't even care about like the gram. I take pictures.

36:06 So when when I when I went because they were fans of the show and they reached out to us and they're like, let's send Ian down to the Newton resort. I only took pictures there so I can be like see I went. Yeah, you have to. Yeah, because I didn't think they would believe me because I I went on my own. So I had to take. I had to document the fact that I actually did show up. But you went more than once, didn't you? Well yeah, because they kept inviting me to shit. I mean. Basically because like, I didn't have to pay for anything. The the, the, the, the, the manager would always give me free beer and stuff. And what's funny is I never took my Dick out. You could, I walked around and I took my shirt off one time. I felt weird. I'm like, I could just put my shirt back on because now I feel like I'm half assing it without.

36:49 You can pull your Dick out. If you're going to do it, you might as well go all in. You remember a few years back this a long time ago, back when I was with the two idiots in the afternoon before you guys replaced us perfectly and and did a much better job except my part. But but there was a law in Sacramento that you could walk in the on the sidewalk in downtown naked and we pitched it. I was going to walk this. I was going to walk the sidewalk in downtown Sacramento. Naked and ugly shirt. Wouldn't let me do it. No. Are you serious? Yeah. He wouldn't let me do it. Man, what a man. Man, God, and he's usually all about that kind of stuff. I remember one time we didn't didn't even went out and like and got some what was the toenail thing? What was that?

37:34 Homeless, homeless toenails. Homeless toenails. First of all, he. He threw a shit fit about that. He was very mad about that. That's. First, not there. Just because we yeah, just because we were like, we were recording people without their permission. And it then it. That, that, that was all he did. Ian fucked all that up. We knew. I knew better than that. I really like there's a picture recently and somebody asking is this Arnie where I was dressed up like Cupid in front of the in and out over on Madison. And I remember doing it and I wanted to wear a diaper, but the station lawyers wouldn't let me wear a diaper. And I hadn't. I had a bow, but I couldn't have any arrows. Oh, it was it was the dumb and and and you know, as you call him Peterman. Peterman didn't have a problem with it. It was the station lawyers.

38:18 They were like, no, you can't have any projectiles. I go I'm not going to shoot them at cars. It's a fucking. It's been like even if you like, if you if you have arrows A there'd be no tip and don't put the string on it. Right. Exactly. You just, you just go woo woo, you know, you look like an idiot. And that's what I did. And that's why, that's why radio's with the shit you got. Too many damn attorneys worried about every fucking angle to anything to be sued over that was. True, and you know what's so funny is that we I did a lot of those, you know, quote UN quote wacky stunts working with those two idiots and it worked. It took us to #1 I dressed up like a Turkey and gave away Turkey pot pies the day before Thanksgiving.

39:02 And, and here's the thing, those two never ever came out. Those two never showed up at one of those events. And I was like, you guys just don't get it. And they're like, we, we just don't want to look stupid. I'm like, you have to look stupid if you want to be #1. Ian used to go out and do that shit for us all the fucking time. Like he he was always on the street for us and we always try to do videos and get out and and just do weird things and be somewhere. Like when we go to the we'd go to stroke and Larry, they played on the softball team. And so Ian and I would go there and get fucking hammered and record that while they. Were fucking playing and we'd be yelling at the. Teams and just stupid shit, but it'd be a fun video. It matters. It makes a difference it. All works. It all works, you know, but.

39:42 Nobody does anything like that in radio now. Radio is is a total joke. You can't. Well, you can't. You're right. You can't do anything like that. I see. You know, I try to watch or not watch. I try to listen to some of the radio that is on at least in Sacramento. And it's like the country station that that Joe Guy's on now. He's laughing a hill. I don't even. Know that guy? Apparently we tickled something. I'm just laughing at already laughing. Oh. First of all, he hates country music. I know. Secondly, he's not good enough to do mornings. I'll say it I'm not afraid. He's not good enough to do mornings. He never has been and he never will be. You know, he's like the third chair over there, isn't he? Yeah, he's like. Yeah, it's like the third chair I.

40:24 I and to be the third chair on that show, could that show like. I don't have a problem with with Cody and the and the guy, like they're fighting people. I just feel like it's just a really nice like family friendly show which is definitely not. Something I'd want to. It's really boring. Yeah. Yellow teeth trying to add to it. And his vast knowledge of country music. Oh, Jesus. It's painful. Painful. Tell us how you really. Yeah. But then the other guy that he was with, bro, bro, bro, that guy, he's just going to continue to do a podcast by himself, I guess. Oh, is it just going to be called Angry short guy? I don't know, but it's just you can't be called the The Dog and Joe podcast because I don't.

41:12 Is this just the dog the dog cast or something? Yeah, that's why you, that's why you negotiate your contract and say I'm still going to do my podcast and then there you go. Like the company I work for is a major company. They don't give a shit. Nobody should. Come on, do you think that that guy is at your intellectual lever, Mr. Masters degree? I mean, seriously, come on now. No, it's true. I guess not. You have, you have, you have to, you have to have an attorney review the contract and look it over and find what the hell they're trying to fuck you and you find how you can fuck them. That's the way you do it. I had a contract years ago, wasn't an Odyssey, but I went back and scanned it and rewrote some things about giving my notice and stuff.

41:55 I changed like couple words. Nobody knew a fucking thing. It looked exactly the same, same amount of pages. So. Stupid. It's radio people though, because they're going to look at it. He signed it. And I mean, thinking with with Joe is the same thing. He probably barely even write his contract. It was just like, it's a job I'll take. Whatever you get and look, look, kudos to him for getting a job for for not having to resort to just being a podcaster. But I tell you this, I I've been asked, but but I've been asked this number of times. I would never go back to radio Good. Hey, kudos to people that are in radio. It's too hard. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I couldn't be me and it wouldn't, it wouldn't be genuine. Yeah, it it, it would be way too hard for me. I'd get I'd get fired in in a week. Well, Stroke has a full time morning show. I do full insurance on a station in Connecticut, which I will be doing because I got the storm.

42:47 Half the people can't even make it in this week. So now I got to fucking do a bunch of shit. But that's fine, I'm not complaining. I enjoy that in that at least. And I do imaging and stuff, so it keeps me sort of in the radio industry. I'm just going to add there, I'll, oh, sorry to interrupt. I'm, I'm just going to add at some point, I will not be doing radio because I plan on doing an exit eventually because the podcast podcast keep me happy to be honest with you and working what I've worked for, my degree for, I'm just as happy. I, I, I love doing my podcast. I love being free to come up with stuff and, and, and do all kinds of stuff. It's just, it's, it's kind of like what I was doing on the morning show minus the curse words, because we had we had creative control over that show. And when you have creative control, you know, as long as you don't get fined or you don't get arrested on the air, you're good to go.

43:36 You don't. You don't poison somebody with too much water. For for. Oh my God. For people who don't know, where can they find your podcast? Arniearnieradio.com. Yeah, just go to arnieradio.com and it's right there. Bam. That's the easiest way. So we, I know, I, I know we've talked about this on our show and said that we're working, we're, we're not going to bring this up anymore, but I kind of have to, I have to bring up like sort of these updates that we've been seeing with your old radio show, a lot of trauma, traumatic shit going on over there. Do you have any insight or any inside information on some of the things that were happened? I know you and I talked a little bit the other day and you mentioned that.

44:18 Is he possibly having a conversation with somebody? I don't want to. I don't want stuff on your toes or something to say. I like last a week ago last night, I was sitting there watching TV and I was thinking about my dad a lot. And my dad was in a A for 35 years before he passed away. And I'm coming up on my 29th birthday in a A and it's worked for me And, and, and I don't, I don't push it on people. I just say it's worked for me. And all of a sudden, I just had this epiphany and I reached out to what do you call him, a good shirt? Oh yeah, yeah, it's a Peterman. Yeah, I, I reached out to Peterman. I said, hey, can I have his number? And he said, hold on a second.

45:00 And he reached out and, and Scab, as we call him here, that which is short for cunt scab. He he said, he said, yes, he can have my number. So he gave me the number and, and said, you know, I want you to record this for the show. You know, Peterman said, don't record. I was like, this has nothing to do with the show. And I, I will tell you guys and I've told my audience this, this conversation that I was going to have with him was not going to be a pleasant one for him. It wasn't going to deal with the issues that I have with him because he's done things to me that I will never forgive ever, ever. And, and there's just no way I can. My aim to talk to him was to tell him to get fucking help, to get the help that he needs because his mother who is a a wonderful woman, she is a a great lady.

45:50 Even though she bored him, she doesn't deserve to bury him. No parent wants to bury their child and and she doesn't deserve that. And I would say I'm not doing this for that fat fucking pig. You know, Oink, that's what we call the girl from the show over there. I don't give a fuck about her. I don't. And I would tell Scott, because I was just recently asked this on my show, how would you really feel if you found out that he died? And I said I wouldn't give two shits. I really wouldn't. And it hasn't changed. And I would tell him that I would say I don't care if you die or not. I care about you hurting this person and this other person.

46:31 And that was what the phone call is going to be. So I called him three times that night back-to-back to back, and he never answered. He sent me this really long text about how he has to be in the mentally right place and this and that and this and that. OK. I was like, OK, I understand whatever, you know, we hadn't talked in over, you know, almost 11 years. So he texted me on Sunday and said, hey, it's looking like Wednesday's going to be a great day tomorrow. I got a doctor's appointment and then I'm trading her car in. Like, wow, you didn't wait very long for that, did you? And I was like, OK, sounds good. So Wednesday I.

47:14 And he says as long as you're available. I said I'm available at noon my time, 10:00 your time. I am still waiting to hear from you. Oh. Man. Well, you could look back even if you never have that conversation and you cared about a, a, a person, not the way he treated you. So you can live with yourself. I've even said that before too. I hope as a person he gets the shit together. But as an individual that we've had to deal with on our side, nothing like you had. Not a great person. So if he sobers up and gets to where he's at, maybe he can in his last part of his life, he can be a better person. But that's up to him to decide.

47:55 You can't make somebody change. No, no. And, and that was my whole thing is that I, you know, I, I didn't tell my audience about it until Friday this week, which means I, I had the whole week and, and I said, look, I've done all that I can do. And people were like, have you tried calling his mom? I'm like, I'm not going to call his mom. This is in between his mom and I. This is between he and I This these are things that I have to tell him. And I haven't heard from him. And I, I really don't. I, I don't really care if I do. Yeah, I, and if I don't, you know what? I, I, I put it this way in my own head, my dad was a better man than both he and I combined. And he would have done this a long time ago with him.

48:36 He would have called him, he would have reached out on his own. So I, I, I, I channeled a little bit of my dad, which is a big thing for me. And that's why I did it. That that's the, the reason why I did it, because my dad spoke to me one night and said, call him up, tell him he needs help. And I tried. He's. Got a heart I know I didn't. I didn't realize I had. No, yeah. Hey, come to my show May 23rd and you'll find out how much of that heart I don't have. I mean. Working on himself. Yeah, I I'm going to be talking about the donkey show too. So I mean, you know. God, Oh, my God. Yeah. You're, you're a much bigger person than I am. I don't know that I ever would have reached out to him in any way. And then we have said on the show, like Stroke said, you know, we we don't like the guy, but we don't want him to die, you know, we want him to get the help that he needs to get. But you know, other than that.

49:25 Yeah, it was just, it was one of those things that I felt the need to do it. I did it. And OK, I mean, there was 1 little selfish thing, I'll tell you the selfish thing. And I, I chuckled about this to myself, that if I was the one that got him sober, do you know how much I would hold that over his head? I mean, I, I made his career for him and I got him sober. My God. I mean just fucking fit me for sainthood already, God almighty. I know you're going to get like a you got a special trailer in heaven, maybe. Man, hey, you know what? Here's the deal. My trailer in heaven is because I saved minorities at a water park, and that's a big deal. You know when you're a lifeguard and you save people? I save people's lives.

50:12 Come on now. As a 1% black man. Shut the fuck. Up. Oh, yeah. Don't forget you have a black man. We have a black man on the show. Hey. I would have saved you. That was my job. I would have saved you. Thank you. 1% All right, well, I'm glad to hear that you've sort of made, I don't want to say you made peace, but kind of it feels like you made peace with all the bullshit. And you're ready to make attempted to make. Peace with yourself. Like I said, I he's never going to be forgiven. Peace just be like get your shit together and and continue to fuck off. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Don't ever contact me. No, you can't be on my show. My show is too good for you. Well, I supposedly they were working on big things and there was going to be this huge, massive comeback and the world ain't ready for what we're bringing.

50:58 Right he, he and the balloon fucker, right? Yeah, that fuck. Alleged rapist. Alleged. Alleged, Yeah. What a what a show that would have been. I can't even imagine. You want to go back to drinking hell out my. Drinking. Fuck like what is? That beer now? I ask myself. Crack went open. All right, so that's cool. Get all caught up and and that's what's going on in your world. And you got the show happening May 23rd. There's this bit that we like to do on our show. Actually, we we've been throwing it around a whole bunch of times and we finally did it last week and it's called What Happened in Your Town? And we all just sort of bring a story about something that happened in our town and talk about how fucked up it was or weird or whatever. Do you want to play along?

51:42 You want. To tell us. Something that's going on in your town? Well, we'll let our guests go first. You're more than welcome to to kick this off for. Us all right so I I live in the great state of Texas right and what is king here? High school football, High school football is huge. I mean, it is the thing. And there's a town that's neighboring to mine. So it's not necessarily my town, but it's neighboring to mine. And it's been a big story for the last month or two. The town is called Slime C Line Saline, Texas, the head football coach there. If your football team is any good, all the credit goes to the head coach. Not to the genetics, not to the water in that area. It's all the head coach. Well, this head coach has been there for 33 years, so I mean that that's a long tenure for high school football. Well, in the day and age of nepotism, it seems that his son also wanted to get into the ranks of coaching. Unbeknownst to his daddy though, allegedly his son had kind of a kink.

52:47 Yeah, yeah. He installed cameras in the boys locker room and bathroom. Oh my God. Yeah, and was caught with lots and lots of photographs of nude boys and some sexualized, compromising positions in there. He's been arrested and the head coach, who's been there for 33 years, up and resigned out of nowhere. Yeah, like that's, that's your name, Yeah, that he's fucking with. Yeah, yeah. So that that that's been a big story around here. That's sad too, a man who's his ass off and find out your son's a fucking creep and has no idea. Yeah.

53:31 Now can I give you one small one, a personal one of mine That that that was a story from a long time ago, but it has to do with where I went to school. So I went to South Garland High School and I graduated back in the late 1900s. Nineteen 90 is when I graduated. That's. When I was born. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Doesn't make me feel old. Yeah. So recently, four years ago, they switched the mascot. They're now the S Garland Titans. And they're so stupid there that the Titan is actually in a Spartan outfit. I can't make this up. Yeah, You see, when I went to school there, we were the S Garland colonels.

54:12 And in our cafeteria, we had this gigantic mural painted of a southern plantation. Oh no. Yes, all sorts of fields and things like that. No workers in the field though. But our fight song was Dixie, and I kid you not, our mascot would be a senior every year and he would lead the football team on the field in a Confederate Gray uniform. And yes, he had the flag. Oh. My. God. My senior year, the fella's name was Popcorn Nehemiah McCain, a black fella.

54:52 That's right. There's nothing like seeing a black guy in a Confederate uniform flying the Confederate flag. Hey. Man, I like it. Oh, it was fucking gold. But now they're the the Titans. They could have been the Chupacabras, but nobody wanted that one. I want that, yeah. So there you go there, there's my 2 quick little ones there. Those are pretty good. Let me ask you this question is in Texas, and I know I've heard a lot about how much people really love high school football. Is it? Is it bigger than college football in people's minds? Some areas, yes, but no, I mean with with with how good Texas college football did last year, and I won't dive into a lot of sports, but Texas had a lot of great college football teams last year. So it was a big year for college. But Friday nights are owned like when when the Rangers are doing well in baseball.

55:44 You can tell that first Friday night of the football season because the attendance is about 13,000 and 40,000 Seat Stadium because everybody goes to the game. I took my wife to a game here in Rockwall and there were there were 12,000 people there and that was, it wasn't even a rivalry game, but but there were 12,000 people there and there's stadiums here that hold 25,000. The the state champs Allen, they have a 25,000 seat seat stadium. Their press box is higher than a lot of colleges. It's crazy the show was based on the Friday Night Lights, was based off of the fucking Texas high school football. Odessa and Permia, well, that, that's where they play hard out there. You don't want to mess with them, boys.

56:26 No. No, but there you go. That that. That's my two cents there. OK, well, now I know. I was just curious because here it's like, OK, football teams are playing. Unless your kids in there or your kid goes that school and wants you to go, you don't. Nobody really goes. I isn't it bigger down like in the Miami area in the high school, bigger down there? Yeah, they got great, great players in South Florida. It's big here in Rockland. I will say that the Whitney High School in Rockland High, Rockland High, those two high schools here, they're they take that shit very serious. They got a really nice stadium at 1 high School and they do some serious. I mean, it's probably a few thousand, probably like 5-10 thousand people, but I mean, that's pretty cool. Friend of mine, his son, his son went to a school in Austin that wasn't the biggest schools but they were the second biggest schools. Like the 5A, not 6A.

57:11 They won state like 4 years in a row and they had a $5,000,000 deal with Under Armour, meaning everything they had was Under Armour. Oh damn. Yeah, it was pretty damn cool. I wish I would have had that in high school. I still wouldn't have played sports. I went to the games, though. I did. I had fun. That was a good time. All right, so that's interesting. That's what's going on in Texas. Who wants to go next, Okean, when you guys want to tell us I'm going to go. After Ian, because I want to see if he pulls up the story of of where he lives. I mean, really, it's my hometown, but I'm going to pick where I live now. But I want to see if he picked the story of the week that stood out to me the most in his town. A Panama City woman was arrested on Monday after she allegedly poisoned her roommate spaghetti with cleaning solutions.

57:57 That is a great Hollywood. Cleaning solution. Yeah. Oh God. She's the woman's 63, by the way. She added bleach or peroxide to leftover spaghetti that was set out for her roommate. Yeah, that's, that's that's that was the only story this week in Bedmore City worth a damn. Like Courtney and Love and like, you know, older and you know, and she look, you can understand why somebody would want to eat a shotgun now. Now just real quick, wouldn't you smell the bleach? I mean if she poured bleach on the spaghetti? Unless you know the meth has has done that much damage to your nostrils.

58:41 I mean powder. Bleach. What about powder bleach? That's the that could probably do. It Yeah, that can do it. It looks like Parmesan cheese. Exactly. That's good point. Good call. I pulled the police report because Florida's public records are so easy and I wanted to read more about this. And the guy got into four bites, 4 bites and, and then they, even the officers go, it doesn't look right when they got there because all the solution was at the bottom. So he got in four bites before he's like, you know what, this she warmed it up for him. I want to know what their fight was about. Not that it was justified, but I want to know what there's. There was details left out of the police report. They were just roommates. They weren't like lovers it. Just says roommate.

59:22 You got you, by the way. You guys are home to the greatest sheriff in the world. Oh. Yeah. Oh, I love him. I played him every day last week. I had his morning briefing on every day last week. That guy is a national treasure. Yeah, he's pretty great. Yeah, the one here in Walton County is pretty good too. He'll tell you. We'd rather you just shoot him if they break in your house because we don't want to go look for him. I wish they would say that shit here in California man. Oh. My God, they're. Like don't ever pull your gun out, don't do anything. Let them kill you or you're going to jail. Did you see what candidate told their residents about two months ago? No what? If somebody breaks into your house, just let them fucking ransack it.

1:00:03 It's not worth the trouble. It's just stuff. I get out of here dude. Yeah, I'm going to cut your head off. I got a big old booey knife and, and and a friend of mine just sent me a machete. I got to get sharpened. I want people to break in. Me too. Yeah. I want to like have that blood stain on the wall so I can invite people over and go look at that. Check out what I did. Can I have his head around? Can I have his head mounted to the wall like a fucking deer? Oh. Shit, these are my trophies, officers. You can't take these for evidence. No, we appreciate what you did. That's what they'd say around here. Yeah, good job to save. Saved us some work. Yeah, exactly. That's pretty. Good. Well, last week I told you where I, where I'm at, where the station's at.

1:00:43 I've been to Destin, Fort Walton Beach area. That's where I live, not my hometown, but that's where I, I work and then and then live at. And there was Feng Wang. Do you remember Feng Wang? Oh yeah, I do. I remember Feng Wang the name was. Feng Wang was shitting doors, police officers as they went in the health inspector. So they got her at the massage parlor. No. Yeah. No, a massage parlor. Somebody named Fang Wang. That's crazy. Police officers. Now we have another massage parlor in Fort Walton Beach that's in the news this time. Now it's a 44 year old woman which is not supposed to be in the country. This is what it says it it they, the, the, they said she's being detained for ICE anyway, when they, when they went there, she's an unlicensed massage work and she was charged with that in prostitution.

1:01:35 Now, according to the Police Department, they said they responded to the Department of Health investigator reported observing what appeared to be sexual activity during the inspection inside one of the rooms. And I got this right 'cause I double checked it. Officers found a nude man who told police he had been offered money for sex. No man offered. No man in the mystery of ever has ever paid. Him to suck his Dick. Oh my God. I like how the the inspector watched it. He's like taking notes. All right, He's she's stroking his shaft. It's going up and down here. I need to write this in my report. You kick the fucking door in and go freeze.

1:02:17 You know, I mean they just. Let them do what they're going to do. They're grown adults. You want to do you want a little money exchange for a little handy here and there? Whatever. I can't believe that these massage parlors are offering sex. This. This is crazy. I've never heard of that especially. An unlicensed one I. Right. I mean, seriously, I mean go to the license plate, think about how much better it would be. Seriously, both of those two stories in the last two weeks. I don't think this would be shocking, but they were Asians. Asians seem to like do a little sucky sucky man. I've never heard of one paying somebody to suck his Dick in a massage parlor. So. Yeah, I got, I got to side with Ian on this. No man has ever been offered that, hey, I'm going to give you $20 if I can suck your Dick. And by the way, no man is ever going to turn that down because it's $20.

1:03:06 But. Unless it's another guy. What is it? They say $20 is $20. I mean, yeah, if it's another. Guy, then, yeah, but if it's a chick Asian, maybe you got a little bit of the yellow fever. I don't know. I don't know where your kink is. Shit, I'm going to do some role play tonight. I'm like, hey, will you try to give me some money? By the way, Asian massage parlor. Congratulations on getting married. Yeah, thank you. That's awesome, man. Congratulations. Man, you missed it. His wedding was fucking sick. Oh, wait. Such a good time. Ian. 'S so mad he didn't get to go there. Nobody was there. It was just like, let's just get it done on the beach and be done with it. Hey, congratulations. Thank. You for too. We were my wife and I. We were like, all right, We, we take the kids and we go to Florida and we'll plan like a Disney trip around the whole thing. It's like what the?

1:03:49 Fuck, it was Mikey's one chance to go to Florida and struggle ruined it. Mikey just can't seem to understand. I'm like 8 hours from Disney. I'm not that. Close. No, I know, I got it. It's like Sacramento. Somebody asked me one time. Do you, Sir? You live in Sacramento? Yeah, Yeah. Everyday I. Swear to God like they they they people are so stupid because I had a friend who she she did makeup for this Hollywood movie. She calls me at like 7 the evening. Hey, I'm at this club in downtown LA. You should come meet me. Do you have any fucking idea where I am? Yeah, I had family in. Sacramento, I am 7 1/2 hours away. I had family. Are you OK with that earthquake? What earthquake?

1:04:33 Oh, there was one in, oh, Southern California. I fuck, I'm not even close to there. Oh, I was asked if I was OK during Hurricane Harvey and I'm still living in Sacramento. I'm like fuck yes, I'm OK at Houston. I'm never here. Geography. People should look at it, just understand the map a little more. The biggest news in the Sacramento area this past week, I'm going to, I'm going to do the Sacramento kind of Northern California area until 2 N comes back from her emo sex cruise and then she can have California and then I'll start, I'll start doing Ohio and shit. But so the biggest news this past week was that somebody stole a giant flag from the Camping World. This flag is is a huge, this thing is 32. It's 32 square feet of fabric.

1:05:20 It is 80 foot by 40 feet long. Somebody stole this overnight by right, because you guys, you guys might have seen this. It's off of 80. If you're just driving around 80 by Camping World, that flag is there. Everybody knows what it is. It's basically a landmark. Over in Rockland. Yeah, well, it is. It's I think it's Rose, but yeah, it's right off of there. Yeah, exactly. So this thing's about $7000 it costs about it's, they say it takes six people to just hang it up, but they stole it somehow. They say the the GM said that they whoever was climbed A7 foot fence, they showed up with tools, cut the cables holding up the flag. They let it drop down. Then they dragged it off back over the fence and then put it in the back of a truck and then drove off the Citrus Heights and got busted.

1:06:04 That's where they got caught. They found it in Citrus Heights. So they really wanted they, they, they went to work to get it. The weird thing about this is too is that nobody's been arrested. So they they, they pulled over the truck with this flag in the back of it, but nobody has been arrested from it. They said that it's still an ongoing investigation. I was going to say that's so patriotic, except for you let the flag touch the ground. I was. Going to say they either they either hate this country. Or love. This country, I don't know which one. Was it the guy from Florida that shoved all the stakes down his pants? Did he get this too? Yeah, I mean. Is that? That's huge.

1:06:45 This flag is bigger than like a tennis court. This flag is gigantic. And, and so they caused they, they'll flip $4800 in damage just on the cable and the pole and all that other stuff to get it out there. But man, that's you got to, that's not something you just wake up and go, I'm going to go, let's go steal that flag. And then you got to convince somebody to do it with you. Unless he just had the tools. Unless he just had the tools in his truck and thought that will fit in the back, and he went hell yeah. Well, and then it did. How does this conversation go? Hey man, you want to go steal a flag with me today? Well, only if it's that really big one over there. Camping World. After six because I'm busy. It's only going to. It has to be the biggest flag I've ever seen in my life.

1:07:27 Do I have to climb a fence? Well shit, I'll I'll still do it because I want to steal that flag. Yeah, the Camping World. The Camping World in Panama City. I guess it's still there. I don't know. I don't ever drive by it. They had a gigantic flag. Is that just a Camping World thing? Oh yeah, maybe it is. We got one like when you drive into Rockwall, TX, we got a big ass flag that that. Must be a thing. But. It's got a big fucking ass flag. Are gigantic and it can't be that easy to be stealing but. Well, Mikey, I was the print. I was going to, you know, take take this one down over here, then come out there 4th of July because you like to have the 4th of July parties and we fucking own the neighborhood with this big ass flag. Oh. My God I can't.

1:08:08 The 1/4 of July party we had. I know. I think a couple of my neighbors won't even talk to me because of that party we had however many years ago. Like they completely avoid us. They won't even look at us like they they like, oh, there's that fucking. Yeah, good, good. You don't want to deal with your neighbors. Your neighbors neighbors are trash. I. Don't like? Neighbors, We had a neighbor lady, one of our one of our dogs got out, one of our corgis got out and this neighbor lady, she fucking grabbed it and took it to her house. I'm driving up and down the street yelling for the damn dog. And then finally she came down a few hours later when her husband made her. And I'm like you, you hurt us. I was going door to door and you didn't say that. You had our fucking dog, you dog kidnapper piece of shit. Kill that bitch, she stole your dog. That's not OK.

1:08:51 I'm with him. Where does it say that you have to be nice to people just because you live close to one another? Oh no, no, trust me, I don't give a fuck. I don't, I don't I mean stroke is outside shooting fucking roaming candles out of his ass. I don't care. That's. The type of parties. We. Have. I'm neighborly. I'll I'll give the the nod. You you give the nod or the the the the quick little Yeah, but that's. It. No, no. And by the way, by the way, stop cooking shit in your damn garage. It stinks up the fucking neighborhood. Fry steak. And usually that's they. That's like that. Those are people from the Middle East. They stink up the damn neighborhood so much and they don't cook in their house because they don't want to ruin their house. Paint comes off the wall. Nasty, nasty Curry shit in the garage and they boil it and it cooks all fucking day long and it stinks up the entire neighborhood for like a three square mile area of that nastiness. I know exactly what you're.

1:09:42 Talking about since we're out, since I'm kind of making for this, I have a quick question for you guys. Not political, not not not at all. Does anybody else find it weird that so many Somalis move from Somalia to Minnesota? Yeah, it was like at last day. It's super weird. I mean, like that's a culture shock right there. I mean it like you go from not having a coat to having like different coats. You got your big coat, your big, big coat and then your winter coat. You didn't have that before. You had you're. Totally right. You're totally right. I thought that same shit, Like why? Why dare? Like what? What happened? Like I'm blown away. And the more I hear about, like everything, I'm like, why dare? Like you've got the entire Southwest. That's kind of kind of your same climate. Yeah, go there, but but not in Texas. More empty, yeah.

1:10:28 Yeah, don't, don't come to Texas because we're closed. Yeah, Florida's closed too. Yeah. America's closed America. 'S closed, just staying out. We're closed the borders are closed all right, Artie, so May 23rd this is your show as your stand up is happening at the boardwalk. Tickets are available now rock theboardwalk.com I'm. Is that where they are 'cause I didn't know yet? I't it's it's it's at rocktheboardwalk.com. I don't know that they have it up on their calendar exactly yet, but I know that that certain things have been created so but we'll say you can start getting your tickets this week. I'll post this up there. We're taking hey, if you want to be a sponsor, we got some sponsorships available for the Arnie State show. Reach out to me. I'll help you guys out get you set up there, but we're really looking forward to having you out here Arnie. It's going to be a lot of fun.

1:11:10 Me 23rd at the boardwalk and I. Already got my tickets. My tickets are booked. I already got my plane tickets ready to go. Any should be should be any surprises potentially happening that night or. No, I look, when I do a stand up show, I do a regular stand up and then I I'll take questions from the crowd. If you guys want to talk about anything, I'll answer your questions. But but look, I'm going to answer them because I'm beyond that night. So I'm going to answer Miss Arnie. I ain't going to be that fucking friendly. Hey, let's call this guy and help him. I'm going to fucking rail you if your question is stupid, just I'm just telling you. I want to ask you questions. I want to come up on stage and then and ask you a few questions. That'd be great.

1:11:51 That'd be fantastic. And I don't know how much Mike, I know Mike, he's involved in helping you get this kind of set up. And because he lives there, you don't. But he did a fantastic job for us at our our summer event like the intro and all that. That was, it was just set up. It was it was a great night. So I know he'll take good care of you so. No, and I, and I just want to say thank you, Mikey. I, I really do appreciate all that you put into it and and made this happen. And I'm I'm I'm looking forward to getting back because I can finally have good sushi again. Texas sushi is fucking terrible. So I'll be eating Mikuni's pretty much I I get in at like 10:00 Friday night. I'm going to I'm just going to go to Mikuni and stay there until the show starts. Sounds.

1:12:32 Good. Yeah, I might gain a little weight. Barbecue is not as good as you going to have it that you have in Texas is California. No, they they will not even make. The Mexican food is probably about the same maybe. I've heard good California Mexican food is more Mexican Mexican food here it's Tex Mex but but I got to tell you the BBQ hey no, don't don't even play don't don't even play that game. Like like all those places in in Sacramento that have the word Texas in should all be sued because this shit don't taste like Texas BBQ. I'm just telling you, Texas. Roadhouse is. No, Jesus Christ. I like.

1:13:14 Texas Roadhouse. I'm just saying it's not Texas. No, it's. Not it's. Not no, no, we aren't known. For our our our roles. We're known for, well, we're no for our roles on ourselves, but not our roles. Risk it. All right, Arnie. Well, thank you for coming on the show, man. We appreciate you. And we'll probably we'll talk soon. I'm sure I'll be in touch with you in the absolutely. Yeah, I got some questions for you, so hit me up and we'll talk. But Boise, it was nice to see you guys again. You too. Arnie, take care. I appreciate it. Thank you guys. It's. Always nice when Arnie's on. I love him joining the show. He's hilarious. Dude. I'm looking forward to that show too. May 23rd, it's going to be a lot of fun. All right, so before we wrap things up, I do have on the schedule here Ian's stupid products.

1:13:59 Do you have a bunch of stupid products for us? Because I because you haven't done this in a while. Yeah, they're pretty dumb today. I'm not going to this one. This one just made me laugh because of how dumb it is, but I guarantee it's probably made some money. It's a calendar of just abandoned mattresses out. For sure. Like it's. That's all it is. You know people are buying that. But wow. I don't know. But at the same time, like I wouldn't buy one for myself, but if somebody gave me one, I'd be like, I'll hang this up. Dude I went and got my. Haircut as fuck. I got my haircut the other day and my Barber, who I've been going to forever, Sheena, she's amazing. She has a calendar of dogs pooping. Different dogs pooping in different places.

1:14:41 That's the calendar. How about that? Actually, I think I've seen that. You know, Speaking of dogs pooping, I was, you know, Instagram's always got the oddest, sometimes the oddest, but they know how to target you. But this is not anything I would have ever searched for. It was almost like a fishnet and you put it behind your dog's ass and we take this shit, It just immediately scoops because your bags already in it. I go what the fuck? That belongs on this little segment, because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And then there was another one yesterday, Instagram. I don't know what I'm finding. It was a fishing pole. And it like all of a sudden you're lazy. The fish like part of the fish is like, you know, you snatch the pole back with the hook in his mouth. It it did itself. I'm like, well, what the fuck. Maybe it was just reel the fishing for me.

1:15:23 What the fuck? Why are we that lazy in America? What do you just sit there and just? You just sit there and the pole does everything. Sit in a chair like this and he watched it and the pole goes so it hooks the fish and then I guess he has the reel and I don't think it reels it in for him yet. We ain't got there yet. That reminds me of what you posted the other day. Oh my God I fucking died laughing when you said you said. At what age were you when you realized that the fish don't really get scared away when you talk and your dad just wanted you to shut the fuck up basically? So wait, so I could have been saying here, fishy fish eat the whole fucking time? The whole time your dad. What an. Asshole. I was like damn it, stroke. I honestly thought the whole time that my dad just really wanted we. All did, damn it.

1:16:04 Damn it, He wanted to get away from your mom and he wanted to get to the wherever he went and he wanted you to shut the fuck up. He. Didn't even want to bring you. He was obligated because your because mom made because I go bond with your son. All right. Well damn my life. Is a lie. Scare the fish away. Shut the fuck up. That was funny. Anyway, your next product this will go great it Mikey's man cave. It's a it's a. Look at that, a light switch with a. The switch is a Dick. It's actually pretty fucking funny. Dude, you do make every person who comes in your house and turn your switch on touch my client. Hey, go turn the light off. Yeah, you got to make everybody else do it. You can't do it.

1:16:46 You gotta be like, hey, go. Hey, since since you're up, can you go turn the light on? Usually drunk lemon. Funny drunk lemon come to your house, start sucking on it just to fuck with it. Or just like, yeah, you know, they. Would yeah, get a couple, get a couple Moscatoes in them because Moscato is horse wine. The. Horse wine. I forgot about that. Me too is wine. This this one, I thought of stroke when I when I saw it because like we, we, we talked about how if Miami's losing the cops show up because he's yelling so much. How about a, a, a, a throwing brick that's actually it's soft so you can throw it and not damage your television. That's. Smart.

1:17:27 Actually, it's really smart. They should. They should. Especially it's no Especially during that fucking last minute interception that ruined the fucking game. I don't have a problem throwing things at my TVI have recently thrown my shoe but it was down the hallway, different direction of the TV. Who throws a shoe? Who? Throws a shoe, honestly. I don't know why I just had, I think me and my shoes were off and I grabbed it and just and then it was motherfucker. They should create something like that where you put it around your your video game controller so that you can get mad when you get mad at your game. Dude, I throw it on the ground. I have a friend who goes through controllers like fucking toilet paper because he's such, he's such an angry loser that he's he's broken more controllers than I can keep this.

1:18:15 Either he throws it across the room or he grabs it and tries to twist it until it breaks because he's so angry. And I'm like, bro, those are $70, All right? I don't, I'll lose. I'll take that loss like a champion. You don't be a bitch. You don't got the big plastic cases you you can put around your TV in your house. I don't know if it's for a kid. You're afraid your kid because you know, yeah, you can buy the little plastic like the plexiglass. Remember when COVID happened in their bosses thought they were going to save our lives. That was a plexiglass. Oh my God. But it's like a little holy shit clicks over the TV. Yeah. I was like, oh. Dude that was like something I completely forgot about is they put that plexiglass in our fucking studio as it didn't. Even measure it properly on my side. And as if that was going to protect anybody from anything like that was the dumbest shit ever. And the vents, so, you know, if you have a little spit, somebody say you use the you may need to pee. So it starts with AP and maybe the spit flies and the the fan just kind of blows it over.

1:19:09 I mean, there's COVID in there. We. Were stupid. We were stupid, man. We go one way down 1 aisle. You can't go this way down that aisle at the grocery store. You're going to get COVID. That was the dumbest shit. I would like to say I was the first one to bring COVID in that building and you are it was. Your fault. It was your fault. I. Didn't even go anywhere. I'm like how did I get COVID? I did see, I saw online, it was like 2 days ago, somebody was making opposed to the meme of like how people who wear masks in their car probably do it because it prevents them from licking the windows. I was like dude it's 2026 shut the fuck up about masks in cars. No one fucking cares anymore. But I was dropping my kid off at school on Thursday and I saw a bus driver wearing a mask and I went, I got nothing to say about that.

1:19:54 Kids are gross. Wear that mask on them if you're driving a bus. Kids are disgusting and and and parents send their sick kids to school so I don't, I'm not, I'm not I wouldn't. I'll never make fun of a bus driver for wearing a mask while they're driving a bus. They should put they should put bus drivers like in a. They should be surrounded by plexiglass. Yeah, see, that's fine. Something kids are great. Your next. This sounds awful. Butter soda. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That sounds. Oh well. Just makes me think of butter beer, but the butter beer doesn't taste anything like butter. No, because, well, yeah, because they have butter beer at Universal in the Harry Potter land. It is fucking delicious. It is.

1:20:35 I've never had it. It's. Pretty good. Well, it's when you get it frozen, it's it's it's like caramel and vanilla and it's not you don't doesn't taste like butter at all, but it's just called butter beer. But you get it frozen. It is a God damn treat. Yeah, it's good. It's really good. But butter soda that looks disgusting, but I if somebody I would never buy it for myself. But somebody said try it, I'll take a sip. I'm trying to take a I'd take a shot. Yeah, my curiosity has it it it will not let me go on unless I know. You should get it and do a Ian Eats review on it. Send me some. I mean, it's 4. 29 exactly because otherwise, no, all right, we don't have enough Patreon subscribers for me to afford that. I'll make you a butter.

1:21:19 I'll make you a butter soda. No, you won't. Yeah, I will. I got a butter downstairs. I can do it. Just melt it and pour it into something. Drink it in. No, all right, last product. It's it's a Chia pet. That's a penis Chia pet and and the and the pubes grow out. Speaking of perverse penis. That's pretty funny. I missed those commercials, by the way. Now. Now you're doing the little Jingle. They have like Chia head, they have like people's heads and shit. Yeah, they got all kinds of. I want one. I want like a myself chia pet. I want a Donald Trump Chia head. I don't like the Dick 1 though. And I don't want the Dick.

1:22:01 Why? Because it'd be funny. Not the Dick, the. Dick. One. Yeah. No, not the Dick. Donald Trump's Oh. Well, the Dick shut off. Didn't I remember when they had? Now. Now you say that they had then they have like a George Bush and all this back and because you know, it's kind of I ain't thought of it in 20 year, but I feel like it was they made it with the presidents and celebrities and stuff. Didn't they do that towards the end? I swear to God they did. They had Tia heads and you could give like a Hillary Clinton Tia head or something like that. I'll take you back too since you brought me to that time frame. They have a Donald Trump chief clap off. Yeah, the Clapper. The Clapper was great. It was before, well, long before you told Alexa to turn your lights on and off. You had the. Clap Yeah, I never had a Clapper. See Donald Trump, Chia Head?

1:22:44 That's right there. That's what I want. I got so many more pets too, that's cool. See listen you guys got to subscribe on Patreon and on Spotify so that we can buy our chia pets that we want to have them maybe make our own our own chia heads like Ian said he want to have his own chia Chia Chia Ian. Chichi Chian. Chian. There we go. I'll now make. I'm going to end on that. If we get enough subscribers, we'll make the chi in and we'll sell those in the damn store. Make sure you heading over to grab that shirt. This this is the last week for the dirt squirrel shirt before the new shirt launches next week on not tds.com. Make sure you like follow, subscribe, share the show, tell one person about the show and then they'll tell somebody and then they'll tell something and then that's you know, the show will grow that way. That's it for today and we will see you guys next time. Bye.

1:23:28 Hey this was really fun. We hope you liked it too. You know, we've had a lot of laughs tonight. Seems like we've just begun when suddenly we're through. But I'll tell you what's not funny. Bye. Goodbye, good friends, goodbye. Kevin Strippers. Because now it's time to go. Strippers are people too naked? People who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain in the VIP. Room. We'll see you very soon.