The Gang Accidentally Starts a Cult | Ep 69 (Audio only)

0:01 Yo, turn it up. Crank the volume to 10. Guess what's for the crew who won't bow again? The hosts are united, ready to go. They tried to kill it, but we're not that damn show. Fucking we're back louder than you'll know. Corporate radio can kiss our ass. They fired us, tried to make us bold, but we're not that damn show. Still wrong. Cut in bold. Fuck you. Fuck you. Welcome to America's loudest podcast. We are not that damn show.

0:44 We are all here. All technical problems seem to be good. For now. Hopefully. Don't go slapping things and pushing things around because if I fucks up a wire might fall. Out knocking on wood, that's all I was doing. Yeah, we did record on Thursday, but we had so much problems. I that was at a whole year that was like, here we go. I know I worked 98 Rock all over again. And that was, Oh my God, it's funny you said that because I almost was like fucking. I'm just going to put it out there. And then I'm like, no, because when we, when we were working at 98 Rock and there was technical problems, it falls on them. That was their fault. There was if, if, if I put something out there for us, it, it falls on us. That's, you know, that's kind of our fault in whatever. So I didn't want it to look bad.

1:26 And I just figured, fuck it, We'll just it, it's been a whole year, like stroke said, we haven't had any real technical problems. It's fuck, that's pretty. That's a pretty good streak right there, I'd say. So anyway, we had my kids shoes, we had Ian. Somehow I was hearing the delay. We had Jim's Internet messed up. Mine went off at the very yeah, mine went off at the very end. It was like, what the fuck is going on? Everything was wrong. It was a problem. Yeah. The worst, like some of the stuff you can kind we can kind of work through. But like if Ian has a delay or any one of us, not just Ian, but if any one of us has a delay on the response, like Ian just said, we'll end up talking over each other a lot. And that that's really hard to fix and in post and I don't have time to do that. So anyway, we don't have that happening right now. We have a full show.

2:10 We're ready to rock'n'roll. So we apologize for that. Thanks for sticking through. We appreciate you guys and everybody who was like, oh, I can't fucking wait, I'm so sorry or whatever. Thank you guys. We we appreciate that make sure you're heading over to Spotify or Patreon and subscribe for the video is available on spawn both places. A lot of people are subscribing everywhere. We picked up a few subscriptions this past week, so we appreciate that as well And heading over to nontds.com and grab yourself the brand new shirt, which is based on the song true love or the based on the song No wrong hole. But the the shirt the the the shirt of the month says true love doesn't knock. True love doesn't knock. Come on, man, honor Valentine's Day.

2:52 You got to get grab that shirt. It's only on sale this month and obviously it's about butt stuff. Everybody's favorite. Thing. No, it's about. Love, what are you talking about? This song is called The Wrong Hole. It's about butt love. Yeah. But it's if if you love someone, there's no wrong hole. This is about passion and and dedication and love. Like come on, you're just not as romantic as I am apparently. Man, we have this conversation, but stuff is not romantic. It can't ever. I don't think it can be. There's no you can't make. Love. I think it. I think it can be. It can't. Absolutely be romantic. I don't think you Make Love to a butt hole you fuck. It I think you can. Well, you think all the gay dudes are fucked? They're not making love.

3:37 I. Do think that? When you're like when you when you say fucking something like that just seems aggressive and you should not be aggressive with an asshole. It'll tear. That's what you got to do, man. I mean, I'm not going to judge you to bug it as hard as you want. That's not my problem. Just. It's not your whole. You're not your. It's not my whole, that's for damn sure. You're not just Lube and clean it. It's you know, I love when the show starts off like this because it's super dirty it. Seems to always do that. It sort of just sets the tone for the rest of the show, you know? Pretty much. Oh, so we're. So we're in for a doozy.

4:18 Great. I think so. I think it's going to be a really good show. We got the we're going to do the top ten worst Super Bowl performances and today's performance is not included because I haven't seen it yet and none of us have. But I don't know if it's going to be bad or not. I just don't know the dudes music. So it is what it is. We got a bunch of we got a bunch of comments, we got a few emails to play. We got a song for stroke that somebody wrote and sent in about that time that you had sex 38 times in one day, somebody wrote a song about that stroke. That was a long time ago. Like, how long did it take you to write this damn thing? Damn. Or they maybe they're just catching up. I was going to say, I think some people are still getting caught up, which is no, that's fine. That's do what you got to do. So with all that being said and all these things happening, do you guys everybody's week was good? Busy.

5:02 Yeah, just busy, that's all I can say. Adult shit. So try to become a doctor. No script though. Yeah, you know, I so, so I did, you know, I've, I've, I've finished up my masters and now it's like first three weeks into the PhD program, it's like, welcome, bitches. It's like read 15 chapters, analyze this and critique it and then use this, then study this theory and see how it relates. I'm like, oh fuck, if I didn't have like the radio job where I, where I'm technically home by 10:00 or 11:00. I don't know how you do it, but I know next semester I'm taking one class every eight weeks. I can't. I can't keep up.

5:44 Yeah. I just not like, I just don't know how you would do that. Like as soon as I was done with school and no offense, I mean this school is just not for everybody. It ain't for me. And so when I was done, I was like, I'm fucking done. I'm never going back. No, I will. Everything I need to learn, I'll learn on YouTube, but I don't think you can learn how to be a doctor on YouTube. I guess I. Mean you can learn. Theories. Learn theories and bullshit your way through. It that's true, that's true, actually. I'm gonna walk in the my first class 1st day. All right, everybody, fuck you. Yeah, listen, I've been communicating for years and I'm going to teach you guys how to fucking do this the right way. That's what you got to do. You should be the actual teacher. What do you got going on in your life? You wrote something.

6:24 Are you trying to? Are you going back to waiting? Yeah, just 'cause I'm fucking bored. And our, our, our, our tourist season's about to start and there's, there's two restaurants in our town that make like a shit load of money. And I applied to both of them and one of them hired me. And I'm like, you know what? I know that I'm probably going to be worn out by the end of the day. But the servers that, that work there, that come into my bar, they're pulling like $400.00 a night. And I said I want some of that. That's more than radio. I'm, there's gold in them heels and I want it. I'm. Wanting it. There's no money. In a loan. It's. None whatsoever better than radio, so not like $400.00 a night will sign me up for double SI.

7:06 Want to know what restaurant it is? It's it's, I'll shout it out. It's a, it's called dat Cajun place, I think. I think stroke, you've been there. I've been there. I know the owners. It's called Dat Cajun Place. Dat DAT dat. Cajun Place. And their food's fucking delicious too, by the way. Like I wouldn't like. Got to be saying that if you weren't trying to get a job there or you weren't working. There No, I, I'm already hired, so I don't give a shit. But no, they, they're, they're, they're, they're awesome. I, I do love eating there, but now I get to bring home food. Like if, if, like when I worked at KFC, my house smelled like fucking chicken. If I if I worked there and my house smells like fucking Cajun food, that's just a bonus. Yeah, looking at your background, I wonder what it smells like. Balls.

7:53 We were ripping balls. You had your headphones off. We're like, damn, Ian needs to clean up what is going on in the background. I've been working, man. I'm working tonight actually during the Super Bowl because the the Sunday DJ called out. So I'm working tonight. I start serving tomorrow. So it's, it's going to, it's going to look like a shit hole. You know, I heard that. And this is actually smart. If you, if you're really not into the football game, you don't care. Tonight's the night people were like talking about this. Tonight's the night you celebrate Valentine's Day. Cause all the, all the great restaurants. I want to have, you know, some of the more fancy ones. And I, it's not really catered to sports. So you can go in and get right in.

8:34 Yeah. Could be, yeah, 'cause the sports bars are going to be where it's at and the, and the bars and bar and grills, so to speak. Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea. Speaking of Valentine's Day, I'm actually I have a date with Jen. Jen and I are going on Valentine. We're going on a date, Mikey. Well, like a double date. We're taking our, we're taking our significant other. Where the hell are we going? We're going to see, yeah, we're going to see Wuthering Heights I. Don't know what that is, it sounds gay, I will tell you that. It's going to be, yeah. It's a, it's an Emily Bronte. Oh, yeah. OK, Yeah. Is it a smut book? Is it like we did with the smut stuff? Is it smut? It's supposed to be pretty naughty, so we'll see how I don't. Know who that is? I don't know who that is either, but what's her names in that movie?

9:18 Margot Robbie. So I'm in. That's fine with me. Jacob, is she? Going to show her boobs. I think so, maybe, I don't know if. She doesn't. Just watch Wolf of Wall Street and you'll settle satisfy that it. That's why I know I. Know yeah, that's the only reason I watch that 4 hour long movie. No shit, right? Wolf of Wall Street. Some great memes came out of that, I'll tell you that. Yes. Absolutely fucking not. Yeah, that's my favorite. I like I use it all the time. Dancing where they're all fucking dancing shit. That fucking cracks me up. Anyway, we got a lot to get to, so let's move on and get into this stuff. We have some comments and voicemails and things. We'll just fire. Not that damn show. Don't.

9:59 You want to leave us a message on that damn voicemail? Yeah, I can tell you how to leave us a message on that damn voicemail. Call 916. 312 DAM and. Damn 9. 16312 DAM. And damn. First one is from Kenobi. You guys remember Kenobi? Our little little fan like the youngest. Dang it. Damn it. Well, he he sent us a voicemail, so if you can't understand what he says, I transcribed it and I'll read it back to you guys if you don't know. Hey guys, it's Kenobi. I'm going to ask my friend she's going to be my brother and I feel a little bit embarrassed but I'm going to be grave and try not to be a nurse. Wish me luck guys do. You know what he said. So he's asking a girl to be his Valentine. Yeah, he he said.

10:42 Hey guys, it's Kenobi. I'm going to ask my friend if she will be my Valentine and I'm feeling a little bit embarrassed but I'm going to be brave and try not to be embarrassed. Wish me luck. You have any advice for Kenobi? Just be brave buddy. That's awesome. Confidence is key. Good job. And if she says no, ask her hot friend. You which if she says no but you'd be like, I think you're ugly anyway, I didn't care. No, don't be that guy. Don't be that guy. It's like like you get rejected and you're like you fat bitch. Yeah, no, that's like that. That's what men do, Kenobi. They. No, it's not. That's what boys do. Well, he's a boy. Man. Well, Kenobi. You'd be like, well fuck you bitch, I didn't care anyway. I don't.

11:23 Like it or what is it? Do that at all? I'm just kidding. Do it, do it, Do it. Tropic Thunder. You got to plant your feet. Walk right up to her and say we're going on a date. Yeah, hey, if she says no, there's plenty more girls that you'll ask. Now exactly, and trust me, no is the worst thing she can say. Yeah. Sort of. I mean, so they say, but it's it's not. It depends on how she says no. It could get worse, like no no, but it could be. Like there was this, no, there was this concert ruined my life. The way she said no, I've, I've told this story before. I, this was like 7-8 years. It was like right before I moved to Sacramento and this girl would regularly come into the restaurant that I worked at and she would always be super nice.

12:05 Then she was at the bar that I was at later that night. She was still talking to me, being nice, so smiling I was. And I asked her she wanted to go out sometime and she went no, like all those. Oh, she put at the end was like a drone strike on my will to live in her. Yeah. I'm like, wow, you could have just said no, but you elongated that. It made me feel like that was the longest. What is that bitch I guess of my life? That tone, like that's like, yeah. That's like I can't. I'm embarrassed that you asked that's. A that's a that's a pat on the head. No thanks, buddy. No thanks for. Playing you bitch, you redheaded bitch. I I don't even remember her name but I remember her being a fucking bitch.

12:46 Traumatized you? No it. Did yeah. It traumatized me. So as long as she doesn't say it like that Kenobi, you'll be fine. Yeah, you'll be fine no matter what, Kenobi. Even if she says no, no matter how often it does it, you'll be fine because you're because you listen to not that damn show and you're a little Dang it and we love you and you're like the coolest little kid though. Matter of fact, if you if you're wearing one of our shirts, when you ask her, there's like a 76% more chance she'll say yes. With that Florida Man shirt, I think he has a Florida Man shirt. Hell yeah, leave the penis gun at home. Please don't bring that. Out never bring. That out ever don't say. To anybody I'm I'm disappointed you have one.

13:27 Yeah, All right, let's move on. We have, we do have another voicemail. Here's the the last voicemail. Then we got emails. And so it's so much shit, but this one's a little long, but it's got a question. What up everyone? It's me, that damn hype man. Damn it, Matt. So the other night I was feeling good off some edibles that I had and I went down a rabbit hole of celebrity net worth. And it made me think, do like ultra rich celebrities look down on celebrities that may just be considered very rich? And I came to and I came to the spot because Jerry Seinfeld is worth $900 million.

14:14 And I looked up Conan O'Brien's net worth and he conan's worth 200 million. Like, does someone like Jerry Seinfeld look down on the Conan O'Brien's of the world and and just think, Fucking peasant. All right. Have a good one. Bye. I don't know. They got so much money. It's like, who's going to get lunch? Don't fall I. Need like. That much money, like at some point it's just, it's just all the same, right? I mean, yeah, but there was a the the there was an episode of 30 Rock where Jerry Seinfeld was like, he's like, yeah, I was vacationing with my family and they're in a country only rich people know about.

14:57 And this that one of the characters was like, was it this one? He goes no better and he never, he never tells him what it is. So like, it's kind of like if I won that billion dollar Powerball and somebody came up to me that was only worth like $40 million, I'm like, get the fuck out of here. We're not in the same tax bracket, you fucking peasant. Oh, you want to borrow my plane, you fucking mooch, I guess. You have, like, Elon money that guy's got. So he's got all the money in the world, Yeah. More than a lot of countries, actually. It's actually it's, that's, it's not even right. That's a that's a failure in capitalism, but I'm not getting into that. That's that amount of money should never belong to one person. No. Yeah, it should. Should belong to me. I want to live that life. My biggest motherfucking yacht ever. If I worked my ass off and earned all that money, why? I don't see the problem with it.

15:44 But you know. Was Jeff Bezos yacht remember that they were going to have to tear down a bridge to be able to get it to him after they made? Didn't they? Yeah. Didn't they have to to tear down? The people were throwing stuff at it anyway. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the kind of money I want. It's like that, I guess, when that's when you look at the $40 million guy and we're like, don't you wish you could, you know, have this? I mean, when you, when you cut thousands of jobs, I mean, it gives you an opportunity to buy such things. But that's neither here nor there. It's going to get worse, man. Let me tell you, if you, you think it's bad now, fucking as robotics come in and more automation comes in, so many jobs are going to be going to be lost. And what do you? You can't. Businesses were trying to make money and I'm not, I'm not, I definitely don't support it, but I understand from a business standpoint where that shit comes from.

16:27 That sucks though because I mean even fucking like Chipotle is bringing in robots to fucking roll burritos and shit. What? Yes there's a guy I know who works in the the automation for Chipotle and they were designing robots and that will make the bulls and the burritos. So you will technically only need like 2 employees for each location. I mean they're, this is what they're working on. It's not going to say who knows if it's going to be rolled out, but that's what they're. Working decades away from them actually perfecting it because they have those kiosks at McDonald's where you don't have to talk to an individual, you can just put in the kiosk what you want and they still fucking get it wrong. Yeah, how do you even do that? Enjoy those, I don't want to talk to you. Through Popeyes not too long ago. And you know how they got the little AI voice that comes on at 1st and it's, but it's real nice. It's like, Hey, what can we get for you? We got this And you're like, but, and then I'm like, fuck this shit.

17:17 And then the real, the real worker comes up and goes, what do you want? Like if there was a, if there was a, a fight between fast food restaurants, like who would win? The people at Popeyes would kill everybody else. They people scare me. Either that or either that or Arby's because like they're they're mean over at Arby's, but I know what you're talking about. I was at AI think it was McDonald's where they're like the the AI voice comes on and say hi, welcome to McDonald's. We'll be with you in a second and we'll be using the app today. And then this. I swear to God, the guy goes. What? What can I get you? What's? The. Code I'm. Like bro, wake the fuck up. I think the people that work at Arby's are pussies. I'll be honest with you, every Arby's I've ever been to, there's a bunch of little bitches and I'm like, dude, they're just sitting around lazy. You're.

18:04 I think that people have because. Nobody's going there, so they get to sit on their ass. But people, people are always people. That's that's been the Internet question of the of the decade is who's keeping Arby's in business? This guy right here. We went to to Chick-fil-A last night and I'm like, it's very cultish, very cold. Chicken. God's chicken it's. God's chicken right there. It is cold. My pleasure, right? It does doesn't seem like it's very pleasurable to you They're. Always nice I. Love first of all, between all the cities I've lived in, where I live, the fast food places are the most nicest people and I have no idea why. I'm like Sacramento kind of shitty. And then where Ian lives, Panama City, lived there my life. They're they're shitty where I'm at. They're like, what do you need?

18:51 What can we do for it? They're like, thank you. I'm like, wow. And not just Chick-fil-A, like everybody. I'm like, why is everybody so nice here? I've been to the Chick-fil-A in Destin and yeah, they're, they're so nice. But the, it's like that there. There's this meme and I 100% agree with it because I've never gotten my, they've never gotten my order wrong at Chick-fil-A. But if they did, I wouldn't complain. I'm like, you know what? That's just what they think that I should have and I trust. Them. You know what? I accept that. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you because I thought I thought I wanted this but I guess I need this in my life. But seriously, that's what we need. We need like whoever is running Chick-fil-A to fucking run the government because they got their shit fucking down. They don't see anything up. That fucking line is perfect. Everything. Yeah, they.

19:32 Got down to a science, you know, they got people outside. I'm actually in favor of that If I if, if we want, if, if the mid, the midterms are coming up, if Chick-fil-A wants to throw their hat in the ring. I'm in I'll. Vote for now. I don't even care what letter you put in front of them. Rd. Whatever. Guys, like I used to run a Chick-fil-A. I know how to get things done. Exactly. I'll vote for you. I'll vote for. You well, hang on. What like were, did you own it? Were you the manager? I need qualifications. I want, I want to see your Chick-fil-A resume. No, I wanted the person to have worked at corporate, not some just a store. Like I wanted them to have designed the fucking situation, you know? Yeah, like were you instrumental in the drive through machine like the?

20:13 Zipper situation? Yeah, that's a big deal. The zipper. It's a great zipper. Yeah, like 'cause that I feel like that's important. So we got a, we got a couple of emails here too. I'm going to start off with one. Look, I'm going to read this e-mail the way it was written and it's from Daniel, a black guy. That's how he wrote it says Daniel, a black guy. And it says, well, me as a 100% black man, the concept, the the concept is entirely a relic of discriminatory legal past and has no legal validity validity in Florida or any other state. Besides your DNA don't mean nothing at the cookout if you're invited.

20:55 And then he goes still love you though dude. But my N word, I don't think you get, you don't get the pass. Whatever. OK, let's do adna test on you and see if you're 100%. Bet you not. Wow, OK. And he he said, let me on the show, I'm, I'm in California. As a matter of fact, we actually do have a real African American man that's going to be. A real I. Just want to be an asshole he. Used the word real. It's what The thing is, is we've been going back and forth in our text and Ian's like, I got a black guy. I'm going to have a black guy my my black friend. And I'm like, what is this guy's name? I don't even it's does he have a name or are we just going to call him the black guy because it feels a little racist? OK, we'll just, we'll just call him Malcolm from from now on. Malcolm is Is that real?

21:39 I'm not calling him Malcolm till we know his name and you go from. His name is Malcolm Different. Well, that's why I'm making sure you're not setting this up. I'm like, hey, Malcolm. Yeah, no, his name's my. Name's John, all right, Look like a fucking Malcolm racist. You might as well call me Jerome anyway. So anyway, so this guy's like, have me on the show. We don't need to have you on the show. We have a black person coming on the show to, I don't know what he's. Going to question strikes blackness. I don't understand what you question. There's one percent, 1%. There's not anything to fucking question. It's 1%. Well, you keep saying my people, my people this, my people that I say. I one percent 1% it's very I don't know if you know there's 100% there's 1%. That guy that wrote in I guarantee you if he could afford adna test, he could he he guarantee he's not 100% black. He probably got some no.

22:26 Your question is. Yeah, question is blackness. Show me the test. Show me the test Shut the. I mean, I don't care what color your skin is if I don't see the test. It's not real. Everybody's white to me. Fake and gay. I mean. And gay 100%. Fake and gay. I mean they're. Fake and gay. I'm as, as a white person, I, I, I might be skating on dangerous territory, but I'll say it does seem like you can lose black points because I think Will Smith lost a couple. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that's what I'm hoping, He asked me like scenario is what I do, the what I what would I do? But he probably gonna give you some kind of trivia or something. I don't know why.

23:08 I don't it might be a what would you do? I'd be down with that. Like, hey. More fun. Yeah, like there's a serial killer in the woods. What would you do? Like. I'm not doing the fucking woods. Exactly. There you go. There's a noise in the basement like, well, that's not a. Problem. Are you going to get into the You got to jump in with the lion? Fuck no. That's what. That's white people shit. White people think that shit like. That every time, every single time. I don't even look, but they're like a hiker was killed by a Mountain Lion. I'm like, that was a white guy. There's. Black people, always. I can't. I can't remember. I think it was Roy. Yeah, Roy Wood Junior. He's like, there ain't nothing in the woods for black folks. Exactly of the next e-mail that came in this is explaining the song that I'm going to play here for you guys. This comes from dammit Jess.

23:55 She says this song is in in commemoration when stroke and Christina had sex 38 times back in November. The lyrics are from Christina's point of view, though this would be an appropriate Valentine's for Valentine's Day, which is coming up this weekend. And then she says and I just realized that I think he got a testosterone shot and not taking a pill. So in lyrics she says you took a pill, but let's just imagine she's saying testosterone shot. Oh, we're we're changing the rules. So here's the song. It does not have a name, so we'll just call it 38 Special. OK with that. Only a few minutes until I get to go and see my boyfriend.

24:39 Little that I know, a tiny little pill. Sex crazy. Been a thing so many times before Noon Won't be long till we've left. Come in almost every room. We will leave the house for at least a few days. Getting on my knees to pray. Actually, that's not what I'm doing. Like a Christine uncovered in DNA. Instead of making lunch, we're just screwing. I'm taking me in every way. Gotta tell my work I'm gonna need a sick day. Ask him to get paid.

25:22 But he said that it's too gay 'cause I can barely walk. Since you just blew my mind feeling every other face in front of your cock is embedded in my vagina, I'm gonna have to ask my first lots of visits too in town. Never that. I'd say it's until we can get him kicked down. I can relax. Since your Dick changed my life, you fucked me 38 * I. Don't think it's a parody because it'll damn it, just original. Yeah.

26:09 Pupil swimmer strewn. Out still go. Out ain't done any dishes, but we don't care. Some of these things I don't think are coming out. Oh, Ian, I don't think I would sit there obstruct of the times that I came stroke just as a Dick that I don't think I can ever take. I just know my couch is never going to be the same. Yeah, you sings in our church choir. My. Mind feeling everyone? Right. Who imagined that? I'm going to have to ice my poorest. Lots of visits to downtown.

26:52 Never thought I'd say I slip the weekend. I can barely walk since You did change my life. You fucked me 38. Yeah, All right. Good job. Damages. Whoa. She's awesome, I love her. It's a damages original I think the name was actually. You fucked me 38 times. I like 38 Special, even though that's a band, but still works. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell Christina hey listen to the podcast on Tuesday. Yeah, somebody wrote a song about. Mikey could just send you the file right now and you can play it for her when we're done. Yeah, awesome.

27:33 Yeah, that like Vagine. No. Great. What a great way to rhyme. What? What was she rhyming it with? But don't get every orphis. You can't get the butt. You can't get someone when she's like, Nah, I don't. Know how she won't let you go there? Well, I've never really asked. It's not really my thing anyway, but I was, you know, we just, we just know that's not happening. Nope. Just no She. Told me. I don't know why. She told me last night. We're laying in bed. She's like, give me a terrible homosexual. I was like, what? Yeah, that. Thank you. I was like, thank you, I. Know I appreciate that that's. Good. Where do I come from? I'm like. That's never been my thing. Like I could go my entire life without ever entering that area on a on a woman.

28:15 I it's just I don't and I've done it like in my past, but only because she asked. It was never like, babe, let me do let me do this like no, no thanks. I'm good. I just, I know what that orifice is, is mainly function is and it's that doesn't appeal to me. Yeah, I'll try not to think about it just. Relax. Everybody's lick one, just not intentionally like you got down there and you probably going a little too far. You got a little bit of ass in your mouth. Think. About think about those times you've been super drunk and you're just like all over the place. Yeah, who knows? Tongue might slide a couple of the places you didn't really plan on it going. It happened. But you didn't go in for the moment going, I put my tongue in your asshole.

28:58 That's what the that's what the that's what the the young generation is doing now. They're all all of a sudden they just started eating ass. Yeah, what happened? There's nothing wrong. With it, look, listen, I know, but listen, I'm not judging. But it kind of came out of nowhere where all of a sudden it was like everybody. It was like, memes are about it and everyone's talking like posting. I don't. Know if I don't know if really that much ass eating's going on I mean I don't know who's saying I don't know who's doing anything they're. Just talking about it, yeah. Pornhub put out a new stat. It's 73% of people under the age of 25 or eating assholes. We need to actually look at the Pornhub stats and see what's going on in the world of sex. Actually, Jen does our comment we'll get. Actually, why don't you just create a poll for for our listeners? Like instead of going to pornhub, ask the people who really matter.

29:42 They're all going to troll it. You know they have, right? We can't trust that. That's fair, if we did put up a poll y'all got to be honest. Like if y'all are licking licking ass or not. Not that we're. Going to do that, we have a poll that we have to get to from last week. We have a winner of the smut talk poll who did the best smut talk. So we'll get to that here at at the end of the comments. But let's let's get into the rest of the comments here. This first one is from Keisha says happy Black History Month stroke and Christina and stroke. Don't let the white man, Ian, get you down. Thank you, Thank you. I appreciate it. Jesus Christ, She's 2% on 1%. Yeah, no, she's. Just .5, yeah. .5%, yeah. So we make up 1 1/2 percent. This one says Mikey's puppet needs a hat. Yeah, and and also not look like it has an extra chromosome. Ian, why don't why you would make my puppet look like it was Down syndrome?

30:31 You know what? I actually. Because I hate you. Well, you know what? I made a puppet for you. This is what your puppet's gonna look like when we when we put it out that. Is his puppet for real? Oh. My God, Ian, you look fabulous. Very fabulous. This is the game you want to play. No, not really. I just thought it was kind of funny because I put I took your. Pocket and I put it in. I put. It in AI and I was like, I was like, make him gay and then it made you like kind of flamboyant and I was like, make him the gayest thing you've ever seen in your life. And it this and it made me laugh really hard. So I wanted to show you guys because I thought that was really funny. I love the martini or. The. Cosmopolitan. I just want to hear the voice and watch someone just. Oh my God.

31:17 It's on now. Oh, don't get. Back I'll have, I'll have, I'll have one way worse than that by the end of this episode. This next one says, Mike, you need to bring back the oh, the senior Chang gay from community. I don't have that. Actually, I will put it when I get my new board back. I'll put it on there because that needs to be said a lot. And he's like gay, gay, whatever. That's a great meme because he said that last episode needed it a lot. It was when we were reading the Smart books. This one is from Christina, Lady Stroke says. I laughed so hard at that episode. This Smart had me. I hate that by. The playing lady stroke. I think it's great. I love that name. It says welcome back to two and we missed you. Next one here is now I.

32:00 Now I know why my mom always had so many Tums and it took me a second to realize what this guy was talking about. Oh, it's the cum dums. It's. The cum dums and then I was like, oh man, sorry. Why would you say that about your mom, Anthony? That's fucked up. Introducing cum tums. I can see that. You suck so much Dick that you have heartburn. Cum Tums. For the avid Dick sucker, here you are. Cole says this. Well, it it actually kind of goes with right with what we're talking about right now. This is Cole says they will never allow you guys back on the radio. Ever. Nope. But it's hilarious. That's fine, that's true. Not with, not together. Probably not. Yeah, probably because I was going to say probably not because I'm actually I am on the radio in in Massachusetts and stroke is on the radio in Florida. So I don't think.

32:49 But together that did have to that's that's fucking scary. They should though. It'd make radio good. Derek Roberts says note to self get Patreon to hear too and Jen read porn which it's pretty good. Grandma porn is nasty but profitable. Ian isn't as bitter. And do not order the NTDS clone of Willies, he said. I think you should order it Derek. We should sell those I. Like to think about that. I was like, what is he talking about? OK, Got. It the clone of Willy thing we're talking about, but you said you would get a. You'd have to get a person. To I got I was told Dick. I was told by my girlfriend that I'm not allowed to clothe my Dick.

33:31 You're not allowed to clone a Willie. No, not that it. Was funny, my wife said she would be OK with it, but I really don't believe that at all. No, I think she's full of shit. Yeah, she's waiting to see what she'd say. It's. A trap? Ryan says. I'm at Walmart and I see a book called Butcher and Blackbird. Isn't that the one Ian read? It's me. I read that that. Was what you read Blitzer and Black word OK and it says that's what? It's a good series. That made my wife read a paragraph too much fun in public. Oh, so Mandy explained this a little bit. Here from Mandy she says Ian and strokes were when we were reading. The smut were from a third person. Mikey's was from the female perspective and.

34:13 But strokes was from the first person. No, and the third person. And it says finding a male perspective was surprisingly harder. Yeah, but it is. And then here's his. I'd say Mikey was the best but that would be ultra fake and gay. Everything's fake. It's true, everything is fake and gay. Having to go with two NS reading because she doesn't have the hang. Dang which is a good. Which is the new term? I've never heard that for. A penis. I remember they they used that term in role models. Oh, do they? Yeah, the, the, the, the, the small African American child is like he's trying to touch my hang. Dang, I'm like, I like that term.

34:57 But he says best and loudest podcast loves us and OK, so so you guys Are you ready to see the big winner of the smut like so for before we put it up there to explain for anybody, if you guys didn't listen to last week's episode, go back and listen so you can hear us all read a paragraph or so. You can't because that was a Patreon and Spotify exclusive. That I guess you can have. I hope I didn't win. I don't want to win. Well, we do have a winner and we put a poll up so that people could vote on who did the best and the winner is drum roll, please. I don't have one, Jen. 75% of the vote too, and. Stroke came in second. I came in the last, by the way, which I'm really almost want to fucking have a rematch on this thing. No, I'm mad about it.

35:45 No, I'm never doing that again. We're. Not doing that. But yeah, so anyway, so Jen, you won. Congratulations. I don't. You are perfect. I don't know which win you won. Scar I scarred my family that's fine please don't please don't listen I was like please don't listen to this episode skip past this part dude I've. Never read one of those type of books. I've never even watched like 50 Shades of Grey. I haven't either. I mean not either. It's not something I would want to watch. Watch it. You have to watch it. Come on. Please report back. Watch it. Report back Why? Why do we have to watch? I'm not saying why. Because. Saying do it. You have to. It's good.

36:26 That's not that's not an answer. And I got a great book right now that I'm reading it, I don't it's way better than any of this. It's called How to Start a Cult. I like that book I'd read. It's How to Start a Cult for Dummies. We need that book. It's actually great. It's actually not what it sounds like. It's about marketing and they look at serial killers and how they convince people into Brandy and I'm like, this is my book. Bro, we need to start using some of your doctor stroke Mastro skills on the marketing with this fucking podcast. Let's go. You are now I you are now the marketing director of not that damn show. Congratulations for on your on your. Promo Thank you. I will. We'll send everybody some miracle Kool-aid. Fuck it, that's fine with me, I love it. We will. Brand What if you will get the lucky 1?

37:06 The rest of you will move on to Round 2. How to start a cult? That's it. That's the next step for Not That Damn Show. We kind of have a little bit of a cult. We got the. Group. We're the only people killing listeners. I mean, other than that one station, no, I don't. Remember killing anybody. Not yet. Not Not yet. Not yet. Soon. OK, gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha, we're. Trying to get publicity if we're going to kill somebody and do what we got to do. So if anybody wants to, you know, be that ultimate sacrifice mikey@ntds.com, let. Me know we'll get you set up, send you a camera, you can stream it for us, put you on the. Show Ian remember that time we gave away this is like in Florida when we worked together years ago.

37:50 We gave away tickets to the to the gun show and I'm like I don't go Ian. We were reading some one day in the news locally. I go I name sounds familiar and I think Ian you looked it up and he had what tickets to the gun show. I'm like, I wonder if he used the gun that we gave him tickets to get. Yeah, motherfucker shot somebody. What the fuck? Could you in, in a roundabout way, get in trouble for something like that as well? You know, even the tickets to the gun show. Gave him tickets. I mean he would still have to go in and purchase a gun. As I said, we didn't give him the money to buy the fucking gun. That was all him. We just. We just gave him a free access to look around. There's definitely some piece of shit lawyer out there who would who would try to like that and sue.

38:33 Probably. Probably. Fuck, that's funny as. Hell, you can't. You can't even argue negligence. We didn't know he had gun money. I didn't know he was evil. Yeah, you're. Supposed to know I mean. How are you supposed to know? You're supposed to know you're supposed to. Call #9 Who do you want to murder? Oh. I'm sorry, I can just, I can just access the, the, the moral standing of a person just based off a fucking phone call. Sometimes you can depends on what they say. Do if you guys weren't look, hypothetically speaking, because I was just having this conversation with my wife the other day that like if you were super, super fucking rich, would you, do you think, do you think any you need to kill somebody? I wouldn't have to. I'm super fucking rich. I'll have other people do.

39:14 It yeah, you know, how do you know how like the rumor is that there's like the elites that will go out and pay to like kill somebody or what? I think there's even a there's a couple of movies based on that where like you're you're multi billionaire and you can pay to go hunt somebody down and fucking shoot them. I don't hate somebody enough to. Kill them. Yeah, yeah, that's what that's the movie I was thinking of actually. That's a good movie. Isn't isn't Ice T in that movie and they were chasing him? I don't remember there's that, movie's been remade like 8 times. But whatever. So. So basically it's a guy on an island and all these rich people pay to go hunt this dude down and shoot him. Yeah, yeah. I remember the one from the 80s or maybe early 90s but I don't I. Remember the one from the 30s but 30s?

39:56 I mean, I would have to, yeah, it's a very old movie. I would have to have to, I would have to hunt everything else first before I got to that point, because that's kind of the basis of of the movies that the, the, the, the Super wealthy, they've haunted everything else. Yeah, done it all. So this is the the ultimate game is to kill to kill the fucking. Yeah, I'd be like, I'd have this big old, you know, taxidermist and he'd have to just work on it. Look at my. Look at my draft. Could you imagine someone someones head? Right between the if it. Got yeah, If it got to that point, you got to mount the person. Hell yeah. Gross. In your skin, in your lovely room of death. They did Brazil, where they kind of do. Well, it's not the same, but you're dead, you know. And they, they they kind of set up a little scene at the funeral.

40:46 I've seen when we talked about this. Yeah. You can go by and look like if you were, let's say you rode your street bike, because I remember that image. The guy was sitting on the street bike like this, but he's dead. And everybody's going by like, oh, we miss John. Creepy that's. Awesome, actually. It's not awesome. It's like with TP USA, put up a fucking tent where Charlie Kirk got shot and like come take a picture of the fucking tent the Charlie Kirk got shot. Get out of here. That's weird. That's that is weird. Super fucking weird. Borderline cultish. Yeah, for sure. All right, so let's move on. And this week we wanted to do, we've done this a couple of times on the show and I think we did it when Jen, Jen, when you were gone, actually the second called what happened in your town, where we kind of try to find one of the stories that happened in our towns.

41:30 And since we're all kind of from all over the place, even though Jen and I are both in California and Stroke and Ian are both in Florida, we're all in different parts. Well, I'm actually going to do a story from Ohio since I'm originally from Cleveland, OH. Stroke and Ian are in different parts of Florida, and Jen's going to handle California story. Who wants to go first? We didn't really pick. Tell the story. Tell what happened in your town. Nobody says I'll go. I'll. Go. First, OK. We'll just go like that. We'll just go. Yeah, yeah, Circle. A Panama City man has been arrested for reckless driving and criminal mischief that resulted in an estimate estimated 50 graves being damaged or destroyed.

42:10 Here it was yeah. Is is the guy was driving recklessly in an area when he when his vehicle entered the cemetery grounds, and rather than stopping immediately, he just intentionally continued to drive through the cemetery until his truck became disabled, damaging 50 graves in the process. What? An. Asshole, come on. Shitty. Man, I think there's just some things that are sort of like even if you're a criminal, should still be sacred. Sacred, yeah. I agree. Yeah, fuck with somebody like that shit. Like a grave, like that's just, that's kind of sick. It is sick all. Right. Well, what's happening in Panama City, Jen? What's happening in California?

42:53 So 21 people, including four juveniles, were arrested in Sacramento County for stealing from a Dollar Tree store in South Sacramento as part of a giant retail theft operation 20. $1.00 tree. Dollar Tree, 21 people. Barely. Exactly. These these people, The Sheriff's Office said. It's like a 40% increase in financial losses per the Dollar Tree stores throughout Sacramento just last year. That's crazy. 40% in losses. That's nuts. So this store was on Florin Road.

43:33 It had reported, which I'm not making this up, 67 calls to law enforcement. Yeah, Florin Rd. had reported 67 calls to law enforcement in just three months, highlighting the persistent issue of the theft of these stores out there. So people are just. Looting. Yes, yeah. That one store on Florin Road. Yeah, six, Yeah, six of the suspects are eligible for prosecution and it increases penalties. So, you know, hopefully they get they get what they deserve. Stop stealing shit. Stop stealing shit. I mean, if you're going to do it, get something to value.

44:13 That's what I was going to say. Like if you're going to just, if you're going to risk your fucking being a becoming a criminal, go to, go to go to Nordstrom Rack, go somewhere I don't give a fuck. Best. Buy. Best. Buy for real. Get you a Samsung? Come on. Anything but the dollar store. Dollar Tree. They don't have shit. Are you going to get some fucking cheap ass Saran wrap like that place sucks. It does. Sorry. Yeah, there's very, every once in a while go in there just to see what's around, you know, like if I, my daughter needs a a poster board for school, you know, perfect for that stuff. He's way better than going to Walmart. Other than that, I'm not really. There's not anything that I really need from. There no. No, they got pregnancy tests.

44:55 I'm like, no, I don't need a pregnancy test. They got them in a pregnancy. Dollar Tree. Didn't we? Didn't we? When? What's her fucking name for a pregen I can't remember? Didn't we? Didn't we give her dollar? We gave her dollar store pregnancy test when she got pregnant. Yeah, we did. And it. Worked. They were cheap as fuck and it was. And. It was. Did you work? It was. It worked, Olive. Tree ones. Yeah, they work. Yeah, I feel like they've been sitting up in a like a, a hot storage unit or something. Then they just, you know. Expired. They're expired now. Yeah, like if they started selling, I don't know they do, but I don't think they sell condoms. But if you're going to buy 1, you wouldn't buy them from the Dollar Tree out it'd. Be all dried up.

45:36 Definitely. It was like all dusty and shit. We had a guy years ago that I worked this before he ended and he, he had a we'd get, you know, when you do the spring break to, we used to be real big for spring breakdown here. They'd send all this shit and they sent these condoms, these Trojans, half the staff would take them, right? Yeah, One guy, one guy that was in our sales department had, he just threw some of the back of I guess he maybe he had the the account or something, but he threw a bunch into his trunk. He was in there for a year, through the whole Florida, the heat. Next spring break, he's like, oh, and he starts handing them out. I'm like dude. I would, yeah. There's like a whole generation of idiots walking around right now because of his fucking incompetence.

46:18 God. Anyway, before we move on, I just want to share something real quick. That's not that's not good. Enough. I don't even look like Mikey though. Doesn't even look. Like I know I forgot his stupid hat, but I'm also. Going to rush this one, looks like you. Well, you can't tell with all the makeup and glasses on it. Still looks like you it does. It really doesn't. I mean, I think I can see the thing in there, but I can't see the Mikey in that. Like I'm really trying. I really can't but that because it's different. Because it's not real. Yeah, but the other one looks more like your your hair and. All I'm trying to do is get people to want to join Patreon.

46:59 That's all. Because people who are listening have no idea what we're talking about or what. This is going to say that if you're if you're listening on on iheart or Spotify, wherever you're listening and you're not watching, you're missing these super gay puppets that we're putting up on the screen. Gay. I'm going to have to make a gay stroke and a gay Jen puppet too. We're just going to all make have gay. Oh I can't wait to see Jen's just like super Butch like in. My Crosstrek? Fuck yeah. All right, I'll go. I'll go next and then stroke. You can wrap us up. I'll do what happened in my town. I grew up in the Cleveland area, actually in a a suburb called Parma and we're massive in Parma. That's all I listen to out there, which is like 3 people. But I'm going to tell you what happened there in Parma recently.

47:45 This is Parma is really kind of a weird town because it's sort of a place where if you move there, you have like you like you basically have fallen off like your life has gone to shit. But if you were born there and you were raised there, your life is kind of shitty and your life is going to go to shit. You have no ambition. But it's really strange. When people get out, they tend to be they tend to be successful. You have to escape the trap of Parma. OH are. Your family still live there? Yeah, my mom does OK. She's fine though. She's all good. Anyway, I've told you guys before that the the mascot of that town is a Flamingo. I don't know why.

48:27 It's just this gigantic pink Flamingo. Well, Ohio in in in Ohio in Parma, OH. They it's like Florida's mascot being a fucking Penguin. That makes no sense. It doesn't make any sense at all, but that's what they do. And they take this gigantic Flamingo, which is probably the size of, you know, a small child. And they put it, they have a big one and they put it next to the sign when you're coming into the city, it says welcome to Parma. It's just one of those big welcome to Parma signs. And there's a big gigantic fucking Flamingo next to it. Well, apparently it's been stolen and that's the that's the big news and Parma that this Flamingo has been stolen twice. As a matter of fact, they it's was stolen and they never got it back. They bought a new one and then it got stolen again.

49:09 People like fuck this Flamingo. We're not going to have it out here. These a couple of guys, a couple of 20 year old dudes from another town to over Valley View ended up getting busted for stealing this fucking thing. So they did get it back. But The thing is, is that they were not even sure if they're going to put it back out there because people continuously keep stealing this fucking Flamingo in Parma. OH, and that's what's happening in my town. That's funny. Big news. Well, I had to search because there's not a whole lot happening in my town. You know, it's a, there's not a whole lot of crime goes on in the that area. But occasionally, you know, people love massage parlors. When the tours come to town, they do stupid shit. But we have a lady from Louisiana who decided to come to the area.

49:50 I guess prior she worked at a bank in Louisiana. She was a manager. And you know the temptation there, she thought. My father's fucking money. I got the keys to the I know the code and everything to the safe. She stole $150,000. Holy shit. Yeah, and she decided she wanted to come this way. Well, they already knew she was responsible because the manager didn't show up things. I mean, I'm sure the investigation was very like, duh, let me know who did this. See, This is why I couldn't work at a bank, because if, if they ever let me into the safe and I see those stacks of money, the temptation's very real. Yeah. So she thought it out. I guess she thought somewhat of it out. So the cops they put out of, you know, be on the lookout for and between the Sheriff's Department and the Police Department and the US Marshals that we're looking for. They, they found her.

50:41 They pulled her over and they said at first she was acting suicidal, but she didn't fight. So they, they grabbed her, arrest her. And then they look in the cooler and there's $150,000. It says now you didn't spend a dollar of it. I was spending on. Sitting with the Dollar Tree and load it up but. You got to wait, you know, like we had that guy that robbed a bank and called us and asked Rick, our attorney. I robbed a bank in the 90s. Can I still have the money? Can I spend it? This is like 2015. And Rick was like, yeah, the, the the statue's like 5 years. Spend that shit. Oh my God. What you should do is let me here's here. If you're going to rob a bank, and I'm not saying I'm not telling you to go do it, but do whatever you want.

51:22 If you're going to rob a bank, take whatever money you get immediately. I would take that money, put it like on a disposable debit card, and then go buy like Bitcoin or something, even though bitcoins kind of fucked up right now. But I would go buy some sort of crypto where it can't be traced at that point and then go put it off in a wallet somewhere and wait a little while. Yeah, do you not let? It grow while you're in jail. Grow. I don't know how to do any of that. Yeah, 'cause I'm looking at this whole Samantha Guthrie thing, you know, the Bitcoin and the ransom of her mom. It's crazy. And I'm like, listen, I'm going, this can't be an average person, 'cause I don't know how to, like, make my IP bounce around and then have this all blocked and do all this, at least the information we got. So I'm like, yeah, this is weird. Well, the Bitcoin stuff is like, it's just not traceable.

52:05 It's so if you open up, if you get a Bitcoin wallet, like it has its own address, it doesn't go to anybody. It as long as you own it, as long as you have that physical wallet, you're good. If you're using like Robin Hood or something like that, that's different. It's going to get trace back to you. But that dude, that story's fucking crazy. There is definitely so weird to me that like them getting on TV and and reading what they read. It felt super awkward and almost forced. And then they get on TV like it all just seems, I hate to say it, fake and gay. It seems very fake and gay to me and I don't know why I don't. I don't feel terrible. I don't get that vibe. I I can know people like different around situations that are very stressful. I got the vibe that, you know, they've been coached a little bit and you know, and they they were saying certain things that were to whoever is responsible.

52:59 I'm assuming it's a couple. It's a couple, a few people. It has to. Be and then last night and then last night as as of Saturday nights, we're recording on a Sunday when she said we just want to celebrate with her. I watched part of that clip. It came she's posted on Instagram. It's the first time anybody's ever done this. But think about it. You post on Instagram, the media is following this story so big they're just going to put it on TV so it's covered everywhere. They're probably looking open. They can track it through the socials and every there's a lot going on we don't know about. There'll be a documentary on this one day. We've been had a good We haven't had a good kidnapping case in a while. This is pretty crazy. It really is, especially for an elderly woman. That's really bizarre. Right.

53:39 I can't think of a single time in my life where it's been an elderly person like this being kidnapped and held for ransom to A to a celebrity, basically because Savannah Country is a celebrity. So it's it's just so. She's worth $40 million. It's out today. I think I just read earlier that, yeah, they said 40 million, but the ransom, this is just what was out today. 6,000,000 is what they want. She may be paying for for the if if you know the body she may be just wanting to bury her loved one. I'm. Sad. God, I hope that's. I think that's. So awful. I think if you're super wealthy like I might be, I might be wrong, but I think you can get you can be insured against kidnappings. I think you.

54:23 Can. Yeah, I think so. You can insure a lot of things. Like as stupid as this sounds like you can for voice over people, you can insure your voice. Like I fucking read something I. Think Jamie Lee Curtis insured her legs. Yeah, Jlo entered her butt, as fucked up as that sounds, because because she was, because like, this was back in the the early 90s and 2000s or late 90s and 2000s, that was what she was known for. So if it's something had happened to her for whatever reason, I don't know, but like, maybe we don't care. Yeah. What, what? What can we I? Mean it's not. It's not even that nice to look at. Maybe it's just because I know that she's a cunt. Yeah, maybe that has a lot to do with it. She's a gigantico. She actually made our list of the worst Super Bowl performances, which I want to get it.

55:06 Well, I'm going to play a little clip. I think it was this was the one where she where she was on with Shakira. He. Goes Oh yeah, it was Jlo and Shakira and she's. Terrible did the tongue out. Tongue. I can't. I get so mixed up with these Super Bowls. I can't. I think she did, actually. Isn't that the one where it was like 2019 or whatever that was? Recently, yeah. Yeah, and she's sticking her tongue out 20. 20/20/2020 I think. Yeah, that's how Kova got started. It's there, it's not wrong. Where I read it right on the Internet with somebody. But it was This is a good time to move into that because our I have no idea if today's Super Bowl performance is going to be good or bad. I don't really care if I'm it's, it's not music that I'm that I'm supposed to like.

55:51 I just want to watch the game. I don't give a I've never given a shit about the halftime show. I always forget about, I always care about the halftime show because I don't really care about the game. So to me it's the halftime show, the commercials, whatever. Other than that, I don't. The game is on, it's on. But so obviously today's up. Today's did not make this list, but it could be really good. So I have no idea that it would, but I do have the top ten worst Super Bowl performances according to me. And I know that some of them, there's one some that go back even further that I probably could add. Like did you guys know that in the early 90s Disney used to do a lot of the Super Bowl performances and in the early 90s they did a Indiana Jones themed Super Bowl? That's kind of cool show. Was it cool? It was. Terrible.

56:31 No, it wasn't. It was terrible. It. Wasn't good at all, now I'm sad. It's really bad. The ride is awesome. They fucked it up that bad. Ride is fucking great and that was the whole point. They were promoting Disney and the ride and all that shit and but it was not good. Flopped. Got. It but so that, but that also didn't make my list. But some of these ones are closer to our age, I guess you could say, instead of going way back when we were little, little kids. But we'll start off with this very first one here is from 2012, and it is Madonna. I hear you. Nobody on earth is going to tell me that was not lip synched. No, that, that's why she's on this list, because it was over produced.

57:16 She was not singing at all. There was definitely a recording. The lady's 110 years. Old people don't sound like that. She's flailing. She's flailing about. What the fuck was that? This. Most of them actually really sing. I think some of them do. Yeah, I think they do now. Yeah, yeah. I think some of them really, really do. But this is 2012. You're Madonna. You should be singing. Yeah, if you're if. You're like a fucking. Cheerleader But if you're doing a bunch of dancing and a bunch of moves and your voice is perfect, that's that's not like something wrong. Because there's no way it should not sound like album quality. And I, and I know that there's, there's some acts that we, we, we've been to many shows and there's some acts that sound like they're just straight off the album. Like like my, my friends went to go see Hailstorm last night. I remember seeing them for the first time. I'm like are they lip syncing or is that really hard? They're just really that.

58:08 Good. Yeah, she's just really that good. Like I've seen them acoustic too, and she's just a really good singer. They sound great. So some some people do sound really good and some just don't. But but she's also not up there dancing around like fucking Britney Spears. No, she's she's just doing her shit and the end. In 2015, the Super Bowl had Katy Perry in the in the halftime show, I. Remember that stupid? Shit, a certain a certain little shark stole the show, but it was a terrible performance because Katy Perry sucks and she made my list here at #9 I'll play a little clip.

58:52 Thanks, I appreciate you keeping it short. What did the shark do? The one shark, it was shark, I think it was, it was her left shark. So the left shark became like, it was just up there dancing and was like, so really into it that people were so focused on the shark and didn't give a shit about Katy Perry. Not they should anyway. I remember the next day, you know, people talking about it on the radio and whatever it was, like the Stark, the shark stole the show. Like I can't. Remember that? But I bet the shark, whoever it was, was going around. I was the shark back in that Super Bowl. I. Would I? Would channel everybody, but then you'd have to my.

59:32 Resume I was the left shark. At the I was the left shark. But then you'd have to find some way to prove it. You'd now I wonder. If you 80 dropper. If you use that line on a woman in a bar, do you think you'd get some ass? Yes. Absolutely. It's it's a lot about selling yourself anyway. Promote you're. Good enough if you if you could sell it the right way, you'd like the Super Bowl. Yeah, say it like casual, like, yeah, I like, yeah, I've been there. At the Super Bowl, You're like, oh, really? You like sharks? You remember that Katy Perry thing? I was like. Or you could even say like, yeah, I mean, I would. We were supposed to. I was supposed to be, I was supposed to be, you know, on stage.

1:00:13 I was the right shark, you know, whatever. I'm not the I wasn't the last shark, but I was there. Then you wouldn't get laid if you were the right shark. People be like, oh he's a faggot. I bet, I bet we could probably get away with that. Jesus God damn it. I'm just saying that's like they wouldn't care about the right shark. They'd be like, this guy's a fruit. Nobody cares about the stupid right. So but if you're the left shark, they're obviously you're like you put yourself in out there, like never mind whatever, just get drunk and have sex with sharks. Next on the list. This one I added to the list and I am a, I'm a fan of this person. I think, you know, just because kind of growing up with his music a little bit or whatever. But in 2024, he did a very low energy, kind of weird pacing. He looked tired and old and he then he took his shirt off and it was bad and talking about Usher. So he's coming in at #8I don't.

1:01:12 Even remember. This, yeah, seems not even memorable. I just stripping. I pretty much. I think I kind of remember that one. I don't. I was hammered at that super. Most of the time I hammered. I gotta say it's. The case. That's why I don't understand why people care so much. I just, I don't really watch the halftime shows. I do, I try to that's when I try to refill my plate, piss, get more beer. Just just do what you what you normally do when there's a commercial break. But I think commercials are better. I think you're missing the thing here though, is there's people that watch the Super Bowl for the commercials and for the halftime show and for the entertainment aspect of it, and then there's people who watch the Super Bowl for the football and for the game and. All of those things will be on YouTube 5 minutes after they air.

1:01:59 But it's not the same thing. You're like you're at a Super Bowl party or whatever. You're missing the point like that. I get where you're what you're saying, but I think you're sort of missing the point here. So some people watch it for the entertainment aspect. Other people are missing the point because this is about the football game. It's about seeing which team is the fucking champion. It's literally not. Just about. The football game. I think it's about the I think it's about there's football fans, there's people who love the party and get around their friends don't really give a shit. And you know, there are people who probably just want to watch the commercials. What I have a problem was they keep releasing the damn commercials early and I'm like, well that's. And by the way, they have those I I saw this yesterday and it it it made me it really opened my eyes. You know those betting apps where you can bet on anything, not like sports betting, but the ones we can bet on holiday market.

1:02:46 Yeah, yeah, If you, no, the ones where you don't, you bet against people, don't, don't, don't bet on shit like the, the, the, the Bad Bunny thing. Because it's like, will Bad Bunny sing this song? Like these people who are making these bets already know in advance and they're suckering people because they're like, well, will Bad Bunny sing this song? They know because these are people that are are on the production crew. And it's completely, there's no regulation to that. So any, none whatsoever. They want to, yeah. And if I was whoever the hell Bad Bunny is, because I, I truly don't know any of the songs, but but Bad Bunny, if I was Bad Bunny, I would look at it and then I'm like put $20 million down on this because I'm. Fucking man.

1:03:27 Yeah, I would too. Because I know the answer. The only, the only thing I know about Bad Bunny is he was kind of sort of halfway funny and happy. Guild more too. That's all I know, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, he was on right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on the caddy. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that, That that was him. But he also performed on the Super Bowl. I forget what year it was like he was like a special guest. It was a very, it was. Yeah, it was he. Was with Jlo and Shakira, actually, maybe you might be right. Yeah, so. I'm so bad with that type of genre and paying attention to celebrities lives. I. Me too. That was the first time I heard his name. I swear I'm like what? Honestly I thought Bad Bunny was a was a DJ like a dude.

1:04:08 I didn't even know he had. I didn't even know his name. And Happy Gilmore, too. But like, bad bunnies in the Super Bowl. I'm like that. Catch me outside, girl. Oh. My. God, bad Bobby. She's doing next Super Bowl. Perfect shit coming in at #7 of the worst top ten worst Super Bowl performances is Maroon 5. I have no reason to God. I have nothing to explain other than the. Fact. That stupid tattoo that he had. See that? That's how you know that was not lip singing. He just sucks. Yeah, he. Was terrible. He's a poser.

1:04:49 I hate his tattoos. I fucking hate. His tattoos. Come on, you're like, he looks like a like a sticker book. He went to a flash sale and just pick that one. Pick that one. Every Friday the 13th they have like $13 tattoo sale and he showed up with $100 and was like hit me. All of them. All of them like a fucking doodle bear. Get the fuck out of here, bitch. I made them all. Doodle Bear? That's fucking hilarious, I forgot about those. Yeah. Yeah, so he sucks. And thank God that nobody cares about Maroon 5 anymore or Adam Levine. Like, is he even, like, relevant in any way? No. I thought. He was on. Is he still on The Voice? I have no idea.

1:05:30 I don't. Watch. Yeah. I was going to say I don't, I don't watch The Voice. I was going to say, I think he might be on The Voice. Either that or he might, he might not be anymore, but he was on it forever. Now I'm not saying Maroon 5 didn't have like maybe 3 songs that I enjoyed 1520 years ago. Oh yeah I agree. But they're not relevant anymore, I don't think. They had a couple of songs that weren't bad. They got the grocery store hits now. Yeah, that's exactly. What it? Is they got the Bel Air jangles? Bel Air Jingles coming to number six is somebody I hate the most. I think is one of the worst human beings ever to live on Earth. And she played 2020. We've already mentioned her a couple times and talk about JJ. Lo.

1:06:16 That's enough. If you ever like, because we had our hype man talking about getting high and going down a rabbit hole. You want to go down a rabbit hole, get on Reddit or YouTube and just hear the things that people have to say about meeting Jlo and just what a fucking cunt she really is. It will piss you off. About her, I've heard a lot. Is Jen frozen or is she just like, yeah, she is that she can't stop? No, she's just sitting there laughing weirdly. But it's like, dude, I it, it makes me, it makes me so mad that she hasn't. That's why she does being a cunt. Like she just sucks like for real, like literally her music is is terrible. She she's not. I mean, I guess she's a good dancer because when she was on in living color, like she was like lead dancer on anything. I'll give her that.

1:07:02 That's that's the only thing she's ever been good at. Other than that, the other good. Things she's good at Getting divorces. She's really good at getting divorced. Weird relationships. I wish she had a laugh track. I wish she had a laugh track of Jen just when she when she froze and just make her like one of the funniest people ever. She must have like. 1 She also must have like magic pussy because how did you get Ben Affleck to come back to you? I don't think he really wanted to, man. This is where my conspiracy brain jumps in and it's and I feel like he was made to go back to her. I feel like the his their handlers were like you guys got to get back together. You both got a movie or this and that. Yeah, that's why I was like, you got a movie coming out, you got to get back with Jlo for 20 minutes. Yep, God, because he looked miserable, that whole.

1:07:42 Show yeah, the the life just left his face. Every clip like there was I saw a video of him like opening the door for her in a car and he just looking like slammed. It's not like every mad husband has ever done. That was exactly the the thought that I had. I remember the exact video. I was thinking about that in the cigarette smoking. Yeah, that stepping outside, he was with Jlo and that was taken and no ones going to convince me otherwise. Just that get me away from this bitch. So frustrated. That's hilarious. And then so while we wait for Jen to come back, we'll just move on with our list. And I'd mentioned that Disney used to do a bunch of the halftime shows back in the day, but in the 2000s, they also did one with Christina Aguilera and Enrique Iglesias.

1:08:26 And I put this on the list because it's just awful. And it's less. What the hell was that I? What the hell was that? Don't know what it was, don't know what they were singing. This is Christina Aguilera and Enrique Iglesias and. I'm thinking I'm, I think that I must have lived a life like Ian where I just don't really pay attention. I don't, I must be, must have been half the time I was drunk and running around and doing stupid stuff at parties. So I probably rarely watch any of these. I do remember. Hang on a second, Let me fix something here.

1:09:10 I do remember always as a kid watching the always wanted to watch the halftime show. The rest of it was just Matt. Jen, you're back. What happened? Well, maybe. I'm not doing this episode again, I swear to God. This is this episode is going on. This is a nightmare. Are you back? I'm so tired of this computer. I'm about to get a new one. Can't hear shits. Next on the list is you. Just kind of. Jumped in like we're not doing this again, we're just bi. We'll see you next episode. Next up, I hate this band and this also proves that they're singing live because of how terrible this guy sounds #4 on the list of the worst Super Bowl performances, Super Bowl halftime performances, Coldplay.

1:10:08 I mean, and that's all I can. Play sounded awful. This is so fucking bad. I fucking hate Coldplay but they're just boring. Super forgettable. I don't even know why they would pick Coldplay to play like there's no energy in their music. Because they were like the the same reason they pick the the acts that they do is because at the time of they're picking their hot shit. Yeah, I guess I just feel like they should think about the energy level of some of their music, you know, like you could like put even putting Usher on there. Most of his music is just slow R&B shit. It seems to be catered to that format. I I would like to see some rock, and I don't mean that has to be screaming, but something that's more I'm trying to think. Who would be in there? I think it'd be fun. Metallica would be pretty neat I think. People would like that.

1:10:51 Yeah, I'm not saying, but I don't. Know what do I know? Yeah, it's got to be somebody who's like you're pretty mainstream that kind of has that little crossover, you know what I mean? Like the format crossover? Nickelback. People. Bitch just because people bitch about Nickelback because it's the cool thing to do. But people would watch. I like. Nickelback and I've, I've said this many times, everybody that bitches about Nickelback has two songs by Nickelback they actually enjoy. Yeah, I think, I think Nickelback puts on a pretty good show. Oh, they put on a great show. I, I, I haven't seen them live, but I've seen YouTube videos of their of their productions. I was like, God damn, I want to go to that. Yeah, it's a good time coming to #3 Another one of the worst human beings to ever walk Earth is Beyoncé.

1:11:35 She performed in 2013, and she's on this list because the damn thing just felt like it was very militant. And just just watch. Oh, is that the one where she made that stupid face? Yeah, that's what I. Mean that her face she had her face there's only. Funny derp faces we can make in this lady. God. There it is, There we. Go no. The the one she had, she was like, yeah. Triple shins. Jim, you should have seen where you froze earlier when you, I'm sure. I'm sure it was great the.

1:12:19 Hand was over your mouth. We look like like you were. You were the funniest people ever. I really want to. Like for like 10 minutes straight it. Was so fun. Perfect, perfect. I've 2 more left on the list here. Justin Timberlake, 2018 He just sucked. I just thought he was boring, didn't like him. He's like, I don't think anybody likes Justin Timberlake anymore since the time he got the since he got the DUI and said that this is going to ruin the world tour or whatever the fuck he. Said I literally, we say that all the time. Anything's inconvenient in our life. I'm like, this is going to ruin the world tour. All the kids, me and the kids, always say that it's going to ruin the world tour and comedians. I mean, he's trying to push anything out. I I don't never really cared for Justin Timberlake anyway. Yeah, I don't think he does anything anymore. He's just sort of done.

1:13:09 He suffered, He's married, he's got a, he's got a pretty hot wife. Jessica Biel, Yeah. Jessica Biel And finally coming in at #1 if you, if you've ever paid attention to any of the Super Bowl performances, you would know how terrible this is. And this is when the Black Eyed Peas performed. And it was so bad. The best part of the Black Eyed Peas performance was when Slash came out on the stage. But it was also one of the worst parts because Fergie sounds like shit. Check it out. Oh, God. Make it stop. Turn it off. Turn it off. Don't you ever do that to play Brenda Kay? Yeah.

1:13:54 I should have. Brenda Kay is so much better. I've heard the Super Bowl. That was awful. Slash just sitting there going fuck. I know, I hope he got paid well for that because that's just so bad. The best Super Bowl performance was and I you just talked about him, but when he we got to see a little nipple and the world freaked out over the nipple. Oh man, I mean, the one with was, it was Drake, Kendrick, Eminem. Like what was that like 4:00-ish years ago? That was that was the the the Super Collaboration Super Bowl. That was awesome. So in a in a week or so, we'll we'll start getting some of the every you receive these. I I've always pull them up the FCC complaints because, you know, some people sit around and just bitch shit and write the FCC and we'll read some of the best complaints because it's always good.

1:14:46 Those are always fun. Who are these people? Just don't watch it. They're going to complain about bad money. There was there was a guy on my TV singing Spanish music and I don't know what he said. It sounded like he said the F word and I don't know if he said the F word, he's saying Spanish. How you guys just going to put this guy on TVI want the. FCC. That was my e-mail to the FCC. Seriously, people are ridiculous. I would report my fucking self. I mean. They know what to do is like did he just report himself? What the fuck? Do you think anybody has ever written a letter about you to the FCC? God I hope so.

1:15:26 I've only had one FCC letter ever come in and it wasn't. It wasn't too individual. I think it was the well I know it was because it wasn't me. I was still doing nights. I was very, I was young at my first few years in radio and the afternoon guy was creepy. And it said something about a young girl had identified herself as being young and the DJ on the air invited her up and was being nasty and was like a girl in the air. And the guy that worked afternoon was very creepy. And I said pull the skimmer up on me. It wasn't me, it wasn't me. So it was obviously him. Is this the Star Wars character? Yeah, he was, you know, I mean, he was very creepy. Yo, actually he's dead. Fuck it, Yoda. Yeah, Yoda. I remember when I first started in radio and it was like, you know, I was like 21 years old and there were all kinds of girls wanting to come up to the studio and stuff like that. And I'd be like, are you 18?

1:16:15 Because if you're not 18, you're not even. Talking and the rule and then you learn. When you're a night guy like you learn, it's like, oh God, you learn very quickly. The phone, their voices or not, they may not be sexy like that. Bitch can't even fit through the door. They can. They sound sexy, but they ain't. Yeah, I remember. Hit me up on my aim. Remember back in the day? Oh my God, you. Get all kinds of messages, requests and you'd be just having a good time because you're just young loved. It that was a good time. All right, so that's my top ten list of the worst Super Bowl performances. It's just that's not really based on anything other than my own actual opinion and just how terrible they were. We have a couple of damn problems to get to. And then Jen does have the comment section with the Pornhub.

1:16:59 So let's jump into Damn. Got a problem? What the hell is your problem? Maybe we can help. I felt I had a problem. What's your damn problem? Actually, just for timing purposes, we're just going to do one damn problem today and then we'll do another one next week or whatever. But this one came into our e-mail and it's about a kid so I wanted to present it to everybody since we all have kids and I think we have good perspectives on this since my 9 year old came home last week with a black eye and a busted lip from a play date at my best friend's house. Turns out they were left alone for a little bit and the other kid is a little bit older. Basically bullied him into playing UFC. When I brought it up my friend brushed it off like boys being boys and said we shouldn't make a big deal out of it because her kids got impulse issues and is already in therapy.

1:17:43 But now my son is scared to go back over there. I don't want to ruin the friendship but I also don't want my kid getting his ass kicked in the name of mental health. Oh. My God. What the hell do I do here? You just answered the question. If you don't want your kid to get his ass Pete, you don't send your kid over there and let him hang out. Or. Or the parents leave him alone. Teach your kid to fight. I mean, that's a good I. Guess put him in karate and send it back over there. Yeah, that worked. Put my daughter in for like 7 years. Six years and I don't think she can whoop in by his ass. If your kid but but but let's just say. Let's just say your kid came back from a friend's house with the black guy. What would you do? I'd be pissed, but I'm but, and I understand that there is I will give the boys will be boys of excuse a little bit of leeway, but I don't want them playing UFCI mean when I was a kid like me and my cousins on and everything, like we'd play like Ninja Turtles and stuff, but nobody got seriously hurt like you're if you're literally throwing fists at one another, then that we need that.

1:18:46 That needs to stop. But when you're when, if you're playing like Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers or whatever, nobody should be getting hit in the face. Yeah. No, playing like wrestling's different, but if you're literally throwing punches, then no, he's not coming over here. That's how y'all go we. Would we? When I was a kid, Like a lot. Most Sundays we went to my grandmother's house and now most of like all our kids and all of my cousins, we all went there. We did a lot of football outside, like almost every Sunday. Occasionally some attitudes, you, you fight a little bit. Occasionally the uncles fight a little bit. You know, it was so funny. It was. That same life growing up that that was the same exact thing for me with my family. It's this Sunday nights, Sunday afternoons, grandma's house, cousins and shit. We'd all be outside playing football on the street or my uncles and my dad be out there playing football. There would be fights.

1:19:32 Me and my cousins would get into fights and my dad and his brothers would get into fights and like pretty rough and you'd be like holy shit, dad my. Whole family gets together and you play Smear the queer. Remember that game? Oh my God. Literally is what my family fucking called. It everybody called it that, Yeah. It had nothing to do with being a gay. I don't know what was the deal with that game. I don't know who invented Smear the Queer. And he's just like, he just beat the shit out of each other. Yeah, it was. That was where he got hurt. Like you're the queer, get him. And this, this story makes me feel a little bad for the kid because like the other kids are afraid to go over there. And I'm like, but you know, don't ruin a friendship over this shit. So have a talk with your kid and if and and your kid has to stand out for themselves.

1:20:17 I'm not trying. To. Blame, but if they're being bullied or whatever, your kid should stand up and stick. I don't want to play this game. I don't. Want to play in front? Of me, whatever. Like talk to your friend again and make it very clear, like no, no, no, no, no, no, there's there's no this boys will be boys Shit. All right, Like your kid punched my kid in the face. And if, if he's going to come back over here, we're going to put a stop to that. Don't be. Don't be so nonchalant about my kid getting fucking hurt. Yeah, I don't like that term either. Like boys will be boys. I can't stand that shit. I don't like that at all. I don't like it at all. Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope. Because it's not a. Thing you can't just boys won't just be boys. Like, sure, they're going to be a little rambunctious or whatever, but yeah, because because that's just the nature of of who they are as humans. But boys will be boys is a little ridiculous. When I when I grew up, there was these kids, they, they had three sons and they was always in trouble. And then that their dad always said and their mom boys will be boys.

1:21:15 Two of them went to prison. I was going to say, they're in jail now, aren't they? I don't know if they're now or maybe they're out, but I just still like they were in prison. You got to teach. You got to teach your fucking kid some some manners and some respect for other. People's. Space too, you know, not just not just respect for people, but their their space. Yeah. So I don't know, I'm, I'm split here on this whole thing. I think your friend is kind of stupid and needs to needs to learn where the line is with her kid and and tell them, you know, don't be doing this or his kid, whatever. And you at the same time should also maybe teach your kid to stand up for themselves a little. Bit yeah and and don't leave the and if the kid goes back over there, make sure I don't want the kid left alone. Yeah, Yeah. Say that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want, I don't want them left alone with that little piece of shit right there.

1:22:00 Yeah, no one likes a bully. Don't do that shit. No one likes little OJ over there. Fucking OJ. Teach your kid to fight. So I'm so I'm assuming since Jen's having some some a little bit of a tech problem, we should hold off on the Pornhub comments and maybe save it for the next episode or what do you think? Yeah. Well then reading the next damn problem then if. We're not going to. We'll get into the second damn problem. We'll hold off on that. So this one is oh this one's about cheating here. Sorry I just had to read a word there. Alright so it says hey hey guys I could use some outside perspective here. A few months ago I broke up with my ex. We were together almost two years and towards the end it got bad. She was insanely jealous, constantly accusing me of cheating, blowing up over dumb shit like me, not replying fast enough because that's fucking toxic. I, that's just insane.

1:22:54 So he says. I never hit her, never cheated, never raised my voice. I just couldn't deal with the drama anymore so I left. Since then, she's been on a full blown victim tour. I'm talking about cryptic Instagram posts. Like I finally feel safe again. And sometimes the ones who smile are the ones that are the most dangerous. Oh my. God. What a loser. She says never uses my name but or he says never uses my name but it's obvious she's talking about me. And now mutual friends are acting weird. One actually told me the kind of guys keep going. One actually told me. I don't know what happened between you guys, but I believe her. Your friends are stupid and everyone who's constantly sees someone who's constantly just putting all their shit on the Internet and is gullible enough to believe it, you're pretty stupid. Yeah.

1:23:38 Because a real person I I've been through relationships and breakups, never posted one damn thing and I had plenty to post. Never done it. You just you're childish if you do that shit. That's. There was there was an ex of mine that did this exact same shit and she went into there was a secret damn it group that we were not in. She was and, and, and one of our friends was showing me what she was saying and I'm like, oh, that bitch. And then and I knew and he knew everything she was saying was bullshit. And I'm like, I appreciate that because everything like she, she accused me of stalking, which is hilarious and all the kinds of other shit. And then once COVID happened and everybody was locked inside, she started hitting me up again asking for some Dick because she wasn't getting any.

1:24:25 So I had her meet me at diamond plate and I I, I, I had screenshots of everything she said and then she literally looked me in the eyes and apologized for everything she said, saying it was lies. What she didn't know is that 2 of my friends were sitting right behind her listening to everything that she fucking was admitting to. Yeah, I set her ass up big time. Damn I didn't mind this holy. Shit, that's fucking great. Good for you. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, but but what what, what, what what I can set tell this guy because you can't sue her because I asked Rick that on the show 1 time. Unfortunately, you can't. But he's also, you're just going to have to concerned. He's concerned about if I defend myself, how he's going to look like he's gaslighting her or something like that. He's saying, you know.

1:25:09 I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you what you need to do. Don't do a fucking thing. Let her. Let her you know, play the victim on the Internet and the the your true friends will either see through it or they won't and then those are friends you don't need. Just do what I did when this shit happened to me. Fucking ignore it. I know there's one girl this is not related. I'm I'm nothing that I've never I would never be with it. But she will go through several men and she will date them. They'll be the love of her life. And then I can tell she's toxic. We all got those to realize this. And then she gets on and bashed as a guy. Then she goes back out and gets another guy and then does the same thing. Like everybody you're dating's a piece of shit. Like every single body.

1:25:54 Either you're dating the wrong bull or when you're the. Shit. Yeah, When do you go? Is it me? What's the commonality here? To you. Mm hmm. Mm, hmm. That fucking, by the way, not the sidetrack or anything, but that that one old damn it secret damn it Facebook group was, wasn't it basically just a group of damn it's fucking each other? What? That's what that's what I was told. Yeah, so a group of our listeners, so there was we had, you know, we had the damn it's and whatever they created a Facebook group that was that we weren't a part of, but they would talk about the show and they would talk about different things and then they started. Hooking up. And having like threesomes and having like sex parties or anything. And and it's based on, it's fucking crazy. I remember being like, how come, you know, we're not even, we weren't even allowed to be a part of the group. We didn't get invited.

1:26:43 Invited to the orgy. What's wrong with? A group of a group surrounding our fucking show. Yeah, I know we would have. I would have brought out, well, Mike and interviewed him right in the middle of the orgy. Awesome, I know. You've always. Questioned. You've always do that. I've always wanted to ask them like real questions, real life issues, nothing to do with the orgy while they're in the middle of just getting fucked. Yeah, like, like a, a woman just getting fucking Eiffel Tower. Just be like. So what did you think of the halftime show? Yeah, like. Where do you stand on the ice issue? Who was the better Batman? Fucking oh God. Yeah, I don't hear talk about the guys Dick in her, you know? Yeah, we want to hear you talk about why you're fucking something and tell us something else that going on in life. Just hearing, hearing all kinds of noises in the background. They squish.

1:27:32 Yeah, just. Standing ovation. Goals that's. Exactly what it. Is we should make that happen. That'd be awesome. And we can make that happen if you join us on Patreon or on Spotify and subscribe to get the video and support the show. And next thing you know, if enough subscribers, we can send stroke to an orgy and he can interview people. I can't say for sure that it would happen, but we've definitely tried to make that happen and we'd be one step closer if you subscribe. Yeah, just don't touch me. And I know it's like, I know it's like when you go to SeaWorld and you're in a splash zone, but. Don't wear your hazmat suit. PPE. Wear your PPE. Yeah, you go to Disney World, like SeaWorld, they got that little yellow line.

1:28:13 If you go in front of here, you're gonna probably get wet. And I'm like fuck. So yeah, if we do. Get a lot worse than wet. If we do send stroke, you guys have to create a splash free zone so stroke can stay outside. Yeah, and. Get up and get up like a boom mic, so you don't have to get that very close. One of those, yeah, like what was the guy Age and Bob Barker had like? Yeah, that long as. Like really long and skinny. That's the weird. I know it made no change. Like that anyway, join us on Patreon, join us on Spotify. Make sure you grab the the shirt of the month, which is true love doesn't knock or yeah, right, that's what it says. And it's in in in honor of Valentine's Day. And you can support the show that way as well. Until next time, everybody, stay safe and we will see you when we do.

1:28:57 Hey this was really fun. We hope you liked it too. You know, we've had a lot of laughs tonight. Seems like we've just begun when suddenly we're through. But I'll tell you what's not funny. Bye. Goodbye, good friends, goodbye. Kevin Strippers. 'Cause now it's time to go. Strippers are people too, naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later, behind the curtain in the VIP. Room. We'll see you very soon. On the side, just no need to kill them. Very soon I know 'cause. Most of them are already dead inside. Goodbye. Thank you everyone good. Friends, goodbye.